Wow, it's hard to believe that 2013 is ending in 24 hours! With everything that's been going on lately, it's been difficult to really sit down and consider 2014. Buuuuut... since I have rediscovered my love of writing, what better place and time to do that, than now, and on my blog?
My 2013 started out good, albeit a bit rough. After over a year and a half of labor, sweat, tears and a ridiculous amount of time and effort and money, in January I was finally able to call my dining room and kitchen renovation "complete"! What an accomplishment that was! At 43, being obese and while working, was able to complete such a monumental task! (With the help of others, of course: Ryan G, Mike S, Kent D, Sara A, Scott K, etc.) Unfortunately, this did not mean an end to the work.... Still had to install windows, front door, front stairs, install a new water heater, refinish the shower stall, etc. In all, work ceased beginning of April, just before my departure from Spokane.
In February, I lost my job working for Xerox Commercial Solutions as a reservationist at Red Lion Hotels due to a severe flu. Fortunately, God showed me that this was my green light to ramp up my efforts to move to Germany by April 1.
During February and March, I was involved in the selling of most of my personal possessions, including 4 vehicles. I drove my 78 Honda Civic to Canada and sold it to another fan of these cars (and the trip was an adventure in itself), then sold my 84 Toyota van to a local skate shop owner-to-be, then my 1972 Honda N600 that I had owned for 15 years to someone who had not only been looking for one of these cars for a long time, but also didn't want to trick it out... exactly my dream for the car as well. Then selling the 98 CR-V the day before I flew out (a TOTAL blessing from God).
I also had an "open house" style Yard Sale at my house, where people could come into my house and purchase pretty much anything I had. Had extremely generous individuals even pay me additional after hearing of my dream. Then, after 8 years together, I had to say good-bye to my little buddy Wolfi. Due to my financial status and my impending move, I had to give him away. Once again, God came through! He went to my neighbors, who had another dog, a bigger yard for him to run in and two humans to love him. One of the owners wanted to get a German Shepherd, the other wanted a Border Collie. Guess what two breeds Wolfi was.... God made that one super obvious and very encouraging for both myself and for him. Thanks, God!!
Then came my going away party on March 29. There was probably 40 people there and lots of Mexican food brought by the amazing Mackin family. Much sharing and good memories from over a decade in Spokane brought me to tears. Thereafter, much work to clear out my home, sell my furniture and store what I didn't bring with me. Thanks to Ryan and Tori, Don C and David M, and others that came to my rescue to help me clean my house and paint my living room during a time of complete and utter exhaustion.
Finally, on April 3rd, I finally said good-bye to Spokane and headed toward Seattle. I spent 5 days with family and friends and then boarded on a plane to Berlin on April 8. After 20 1/2 years, I finally arrived back in Germany on April 9!
Since then, there are too many wonderful stories to re-tell here. Feel free to read my story in this blog. I would however, like to share a few thoughts from the nearly 9 months since I have arrived here.
First of all, I prayed often before I came to Germany for the Berlin church. These brothers and sisters of mine that I had never met before; would they accept me, or just think I'm a crazy American? Either way, it became obvious to me very quickly that this group of men and women would not only accept me, but love me and challenge me like the family they are.
I am humbled and encouraged by the love and generosity of the disciples in this city. I feel so accepted, even cherished by you. You have been patient with me through two "going away" parties for me, even though I stayed. You have shared your hearts with me, your lives, you have served me and fed me and even individually helped me financially and even with buying some clothing. You have laughed with me and cried with me and just been there to be an ear. No matter what happens in the next two weeks, my heart will always be with you and in this city.
This year, without a doubt, has been the most incredible year of my life. Incredibly hard work, incredibly encouraging, incredibly challenging, incredibly faith-building and incredibly rewarding. As I look back at this year, 2013, my heart swells with gratitude for the remarkable blessings of friendship and love, especially which I feel I have personally received from God. I am incredibly humbled by the way he has blessed every aspect of my life here. I am encouraged and indebted to you for what you have allowed me to experience in this place that I love so dearly. I just pray that in some small way, I have been able to impact the hearts of people here. I just wish that I could have done more. Father, I am also deeply sorry for the times and the ways that I have not trusted you, where I have tried to resume control of my life. I come before you humbly to ask for your forgiveness.
This year has absolutely blown me away. God has been so faithful and he has blessed every prayer I had, except just one. Father, I ask in the next 7 days for a miracle. I know you are capable of doing it, I just ask that you would be willing to bless it as well. Either way, I trust you and I put my life in your hands. Please help me to not be anxious about anything and to pray fervently for your will.
So, at this time, my plan is to return to the US on Jan. 15 if I don't have a job by Jan. 8. I have an appointment with the Foreigners Registration office on Jan. 9, where I will need to provide them my job information so that I might have the chance to stay. Even if I have to return to the US, I believe that God still knows my heart for Germany, and God-willing, I will be able to return again soon.
2013 has been the most amazing year of my life, bar none! I want to thank the readers of this blog, who have clicked on my blog nearly 6,000 times since April of this year. I'm encouraged by you and I hope that 2014 will be a new, fresh beginning in my saga. I hope to be able to report a new job soon (again, God-willing) and can't wait to see what God will do with this mess of a man.
Happy 2014 everybody, please be safe! Enjoy your celebrations, but make sure to give God the glory for the new year. He is amazing, he is real and he loves you, wherever you are at. Vaya con Dios!!!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Staying in Germany Four More Weeks!
I've definitely been letting the events of the past few days sink in. This has been a very "interesting" week. The roller coaster again....
Where do I start? Well, I guess I will just share how much I really enjoy this time of year in Germany. It's so beautiful and I have visited 12 Christmas markets between Berlin and my trip to Munich a couple weeks ago. Don't have too much money to spend at them these days, but I definitely enjoy going to them, even if it means just walking around and taking in the sights, sounds and smells; and maybe taking some pictures.
Over the past week and a half or so, I have been trying to figure out how to move forward with everything here. My December 19 flight was getting closer and still no job offers. So, I figured it couldn't hurt to at least call the airline to see what I could do about changing my ticket to "open-ended" or what my options might be. My residence permit is still good until January 9th, so I just wanted to "buy some time" to see if I could still find work before then.
Without boring everyone with the details of this pursuit of answers to approximately 3-4 questions, I spent from December 10th until the 18th trying to figure out how to proceed with my tickets. I made a total of 13 calls with a grand total of about FOUR HOURS on the phone with representatives and waiting on hold. Apparently this airline has a call center in India. I called through to the U.S. 800# because it was free for me to call over Skype. Unfortunately, this particular call center's system did not recognize the numbers when it asked you to make a choice (choose "3" to change your ticket, for instance). So, I was forced to speak with a "general information" line first, before I could be sent on to the correct unit, back here in Europe.
In the course of these phone calls, I was forced to deal with their reps that either flat-out lied to me, or they were just inexperienced; had reps just try to transfer me before trying to answer my questions; had my laptop crash on me, had one rep call me back because he couldn't hear me on Skype, called phone numbers in the US and Germany, etc. etc etc. As a person who has done customer service all of my career, I was appalled at how many times I received bad service during this experience.
Finally, I spoke with two young ladies that were very nice and helpful and got me the information I needed. The second one, I had asked about the possibility of changing my ticket to January and informed her that I would be unable to pay for it at that time. This was less than 48 hours before my flight was to leave Berlin. She took all of my information and said she would "notate the file" with the information.
So the next morning, I got up and went to the city hall and "unregistered" with them in preparation for my flight the next day. I came home to choose my seat on the plane and for some reason I was unable to do it. I was confused and frustrated because I knew that I could do it within 24 hours of the flight. After fighting with the system for about 15 minutes, I finally noticed that the date of the flight had, in actuality, been changed by the last person I spoke with the previous day. So I had to call back to see what I had to do, and they confirmed the ticket had, in fact, been changed. Now, also, I was on the line to pay the $275 fee to change the ticket. Ugh...
I didn't know whether to be upset or happy. It had been such a challenge to get to this point, I didn't want to try to change it back (I didn't know if it was even possible to do that since it's the middle of the holiday season). Please pray for the airline to waive the fee to change my ticket. With all the hassle, this would be very welcome and helpful to my financial situation.
There had also been a farewell party planned for me for that evening which I had just sent out text messages to about 20 people to invite them. Now, I had to un-invite everyone and change all my plans. After everything had been taken care of, I decided that I needed to go out and pray and I ended up on on Lake Tegel and spent an hour or so there just praying. I was emotionally drained, but at least encouraged that I could stay another 4 weeks or so. I had a great prayer there, watching the sunset as I sat on a bench in the forest looking over the lake, seeing the lights of the city reflected on the water and watching planes taking off from the airport in the distance. Didn't mean to pray in a place where I would watch planes taking off from, just sort of happened that way.
I don't believe I am a vindictive person and I really tried to be patient in dealing with the airline, but I felt the sheer amount of problems I had with the call centers (and issues with their technology) that I filed a complaint online. A day or so later, I received a survey in my email.
I would like to mention here that as a customer service representative myself, I always try to give positive feedback, because I know how it can affect an employees pay, bonuses or kudos, so I take these things very seriously. I took the survey and I was trying to be fair and honest, but the scores were extremely low. I recognized the efforts of the representatives that were helpful, but was honest about the reps that weren't.
Now I have had to deal with the fact that I will not be able to have Christmas with my family in Seattle this year. I was really starting to look forward to it, too. I am, however, okay with it if I can find a job in the next few weeks. I have been trying to remain hopeful that I will get a job soon, but I think I am going to try to spend a few more days in Munich to personally apply at hotels and other companies to see about finding work there. It's kind of my last hurrah (haven't I said that before? LOL). I will also be looking for work in Zurich, Switzerland as well, via the internet.
On the evening of my cancelled party, I did invite some people to come hang out and have dinner, so Matthias, Katja, Daniel, Jürgen, Ludmila and I went out to a restaurant and had a good time. The next night, I talked to Katja (I had to call her back) and we were literally almost right across the street from each other. So we hung out and had a great conversation. She and I are able to really challenge each other and we were able to talk through some of our concerns and we always come out on the other side better friends. I'm grateful for such good friends!!
I have also had to do some very deep soul-searching this week. Recently, I have had people approach me with some difficult questions and even some accusations. I have dug very deep on these issues, gotten advice, have brought them before God, and have had conversations with people (and still need to have a few more). I believe that for now, I feel good with the decisions I have made and I feel confident before God that I have made them faithfully and though I know I am not perfect, I have gotten advice on my situation and how I can proceed in my life. I must say that I'm very surprised about being able to stay until January now, and, God willing, I will be able to make the best use of my time and I hope and pray that God will bless me with a job, wherever that might be.
For now, I'm very grateful for what I have. In a spirit of openness, I have to say that I am sad that I can't be with my family for Christmas, that I am unable to buy presents for friends and family, but I hope that you all understand that I love you and I will do my best to express to you how much I love all of you. I am grateful for the impact you have on my life and heart. My not being there, or your not receiving a gift or a card from me does not mean that I don't care, but simply that I am unable to this year.
I will keep everyone up on the latest from me in the next few days or week. I do intend to share my thoughts on this past year with you as well, which I am very excited to do. In the meantime, enjoy your holidays, but don't forget to include people that need someone to care for them this year. I have been invited to some friends for Christmas, but please make sure to honor God by loving the unloved this time of year. Please find someone that would be encouraged to just be included in your celebrations of the holidays.
Rom. 12:13 -- Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Take care for now and thank you for all your words of encouragement and support. I'm grateful for all of you who have shown me so much love. Merry Christmas!!!
Where do I start? Well, I guess I will just share how much I really enjoy this time of year in Germany. It's so beautiful and I have visited 12 Christmas markets between Berlin and my trip to Munich a couple weeks ago. Don't have too much money to spend at them these days, but I definitely enjoy going to them, even if it means just walking around and taking in the sights, sounds and smells; and maybe taking some pictures.
Over the past week and a half or so, I have been trying to figure out how to move forward with everything here. My December 19 flight was getting closer and still no job offers. So, I figured it couldn't hurt to at least call the airline to see what I could do about changing my ticket to "open-ended" or what my options might be. My residence permit is still good until January 9th, so I just wanted to "buy some time" to see if I could still find work before then.
Without boring everyone with the details of this pursuit of answers to approximately 3-4 questions, I spent from December 10th until the 18th trying to figure out how to proceed with my tickets. I made a total of 13 calls with a grand total of about FOUR HOURS on the phone with representatives and waiting on hold. Apparently this airline has a call center in India. I called through to the U.S. 800# because it was free for me to call over Skype. Unfortunately, this particular call center's system did not recognize the numbers when it asked you to make a choice (choose "3" to change your ticket, for instance). So, I was forced to speak with a "general information" line first, before I could be sent on to the correct unit, back here in Europe.
In the course of these phone calls, I was forced to deal with their reps that either flat-out lied to me, or they were just inexperienced; had reps just try to transfer me before trying to answer my questions; had my laptop crash on me, had one rep call me back because he couldn't hear me on Skype, called phone numbers in the US and Germany, etc. etc etc. As a person who has done customer service all of my career, I was appalled at how many times I received bad service during this experience.
Finally, I spoke with two young ladies that were very nice and helpful and got me the information I needed. The second one, I had asked about the possibility of changing my ticket to January and informed her that I would be unable to pay for it at that time. This was less than 48 hours before my flight was to leave Berlin. She took all of my information and said she would "notate the file" with the information.
So the next morning, I got up and went to the city hall and "unregistered" with them in preparation for my flight the next day. I came home to choose my seat on the plane and for some reason I was unable to do it. I was confused and frustrated because I knew that I could do it within 24 hours of the flight. After fighting with the system for about 15 minutes, I finally noticed that the date of the flight had, in actuality, been changed by the last person I spoke with the previous day. So I had to call back to see what I had to do, and they confirmed the ticket had, in fact, been changed. Now, also, I was on the line to pay the $275 fee to change the ticket. Ugh...
I didn't know whether to be upset or happy. It had been such a challenge to get to this point, I didn't want to try to change it back (I didn't know if it was even possible to do that since it's the middle of the holiday season). Please pray for the airline to waive the fee to change my ticket. With all the hassle, this would be very welcome and helpful to my financial situation.
There had also been a farewell party planned for me for that evening which I had just sent out text messages to about 20 people to invite them. Now, I had to un-invite everyone and change all my plans. After everything had been taken care of, I decided that I needed to go out and pray and I ended up on on Lake Tegel and spent an hour or so there just praying. I was emotionally drained, but at least encouraged that I could stay another 4 weeks or so. I had a great prayer there, watching the sunset as I sat on a bench in the forest looking over the lake, seeing the lights of the city reflected on the water and watching planes taking off from the airport in the distance. Didn't mean to pray in a place where I would watch planes taking off from, just sort of happened that way.
I don't believe I am a vindictive person and I really tried to be patient in dealing with the airline, but I felt the sheer amount of problems I had with the call centers (and issues with their technology) that I filed a complaint online. A day or so later, I received a survey in my email.
I would like to mention here that as a customer service representative myself, I always try to give positive feedback, because I know how it can affect an employees pay, bonuses or kudos, so I take these things very seriously. I took the survey and I was trying to be fair and honest, but the scores were extremely low. I recognized the efforts of the representatives that were helpful, but was honest about the reps that weren't.
Now I have had to deal with the fact that I will not be able to have Christmas with my family in Seattle this year. I was really starting to look forward to it, too. I am, however, okay with it if I can find a job in the next few weeks. I have been trying to remain hopeful that I will get a job soon, but I think I am going to try to spend a few more days in Munich to personally apply at hotels and other companies to see about finding work there. It's kind of my last hurrah (haven't I said that before? LOL). I will also be looking for work in Zurich, Switzerland as well, via the internet.
On the evening of my cancelled party, I did invite some people to come hang out and have dinner, so Matthias, Katja, Daniel, Jürgen, Ludmila and I went out to a restaurant and had a good time. The next night, I talked to Katja (I had to call her back) and we were literally almost right across the street from each other. So we hung out and had a great conversation. She and I are able to really challenge each other and we were able to talk through some of our concerns and we always come out on the other side better friends. I'm grateful for such good friends!!
I have also had to do some very deep soul-searching this week. Recently, I have had people approach me with some difficult questions and even some accusations. I have dug very deep on these issues, gotten advice, have brought them before God, and have had conversations with people (and still need to have a few more). I believe that for now, I feel good with the decisions I have made and I feel confident before God that I have made them faithfully and though I know I am not perfect, I have gotten advice on my situation and how I can proceed in my life. I must say that I'm very surprised about being able to stay until January now, and, God willing, I will be able to make the best use of my time and I hope and pray that God will bless me with a job, wherever that might be.
For now, I'm very grateful for what I have. In a spirit of openness, I have to say that I am sad that I can't be with my family for Christmas, that I am unable to buy presents for friends and family, but I hope that you all understand that I love you and I will do my best to express to you how much I love all of you. I am grateful for the impact you have on my life and heart. My not being there, or your not receiving a gift or a card from me does not mean that I don't care, but simply that I am unable to this year.
I will keep everyone up on the latest from me in the next few days or week. I do intend to share my thoughts on this past year with you as well, which I am very excited to do. In the meantime, enjoy your holidays, but don't forget to include people that need someone to care for them this year. I have been invited to some friends for Christmas, but please make sure to honor God by loving the unloved this time of year. Please find someone that would be encouraged to just be included in your celebrations of the holidays.
Rom. 12:13 -- Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Take care for now and thank you for all your words of encouragement and support. I'm grateful for all of you who have shown me so much love. Merry Christmas!!!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Munich and a Hurricane in Germany???
Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to change your attitude. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to go to Munich for 4 days this past weekend. I really needed to get out of my funk in Berlin. I figured that if I have to return to the states on Dec. 19 (not yet sure if I will have to or not), then I wanted to be able to visit Munich again since I lived there for a significant amount of time after high school. I don't think I was prepared for what awaited me. But let me start from the beginning.
When I got to Munich, I was met by a brother in the church there, Gerd. He sent me a friend request on facebook a few months ago and since we had a bunch of mutual friends, I accepted it (which I don't typically do). He picked me up and we dropped my stuff off at his place and we went out to a medieval Christmas market near Odeonsplatz. It was really interesting, but frankly I liked the other markets a little bit better.
So we left there and went to another small market in the courtyard of the Residenz (palace) a few blocks away and then down to the big market on Marienplatz, the center of Munich. I was in heaven! My last memory of Christmas markets was at this market in 1991. I was riding my bike home late, maybe 11 or 12 at night and stopped on Marienplatz. All of the vendors huts were closed, but the Christmas lights were still on, it was totally quiet and nobody around. You could still smell the candied nuts and spiced wine, and it had just begun to snow. I think that memory will stay with me until the day I die. It was wonderful.
The new market there was much larger than it was before. Still amazingly beautiful, the same sights and sounds and smells and the beauty that is Munich. It's such a wonderful place any time of year, but at Christmas, it just can't be beat! Then we walked all the way to Karlstor and rode the subway back.
On Saturday, I wanted to do a little bit of personal sightseeing. I went to see where I lived in 1990-1992 and it was so great to be home. It was still really cold and windy and figured I had better go grab a coffee to warm up and a bite to eat. My camera was telling me that the memory was full so I needed to delete some pictures off the memory card as well. I went to the street next to the one where I lived as I figured I would find coffee shop and sure enough, there was one. As I looked in the window, it occurred to me, this was the bakery I used to visit to get my Käsestangen on the way to work 20+ years ago! Even though it had changed a lot in 21 years, I was very excited it was still there!
I went to the grocery store in the neighborhood and then visited a farmers market on Mariahilfplatz. I decided to call my former landlord and he still lived there and still had the same phone number since 1990!! He wasn't able to meet on short notice, but we had a good talk. Then I decided to go up to the old Army base where I lived for a couple years while I went to the college there. Just before I left Munich in 1992, they had proposed extending one of the subway lines to the base, so it was really cool to step out of the subway station to right in front of the college!
It was amazing to be there at the base for the first time in so many years! Unfortunately the excitement wore off a bit to see how certain buildings haven't been used in years and how they are beginning to deteriorate. The university stands proudly on the corner, but empty, seemingly trying to maintain it's stature despite peeling paint and missing a letter in the name on it's side. It's not quite the same to see the name of the school looking like a toothless grin, saying: "UNIVERSITY OF M RYLAND". It really loses something without that "A". As I took the walk I used to walk from the school back to the dorm, it became obvious to me that the Polizei had taken over a large part of the base as their own. On the main road, the dorms seemed to be well cared-for and lived in, in stark contrast to what lie behind it.
When I first went to school, they had just opened the Student Union Building, a small, two-story building, now covered in vines and clearly unused in many years. The rest of the walk to the other former dorm halls went about the same, obviously unused buildings, falling into disrepair. How the strength and pride of the base has simply deflated, rusted and is now overgrown with weeds.
I am glad to report this was really the only negative experience I had during the nearly 4 days I roamed the city. After I left the base, I went home to upload photos to my laptop, then left again to see some more! I went to see the area where I worked. My employer had moved to a location nearby in a very beautiful old mansion right behind the Friedensengel (Angel of Peace) column. They seem to be doing very well to say the least.
During the first 24 hours I was in Munich, there was cold temperatures and a very strong wind. This made for a very cold time being outside the vast majority of the day. As I went by my old office, I decided to go to the English Gardens, where they have a large beer garden during the warmer months, and as predicted, there was a large Christmas market there, too! I got something warm to eat and continued on through this really beautiful park, stopping to check the view from Monopteros, which is a circular colonade atop a small hill, which has views of some of the higher steeples of the city and provides a view of the park as the foreground. Caught it at just about sundown, so I got some nice pictures from there, then moved on to try to find the surfing area. A couple years ago I heard about there being a place for people to surf on a part of a large stream that flows through the park. It was pretty impressive, especially because there were still a bunch of people doing it in December!
That night, there was a singles and campus event at the church, so I met Gerd and we went over and helped set up for the Feuerzangenbowle and movie night. We watched a movie of the same name and drank the drink which is similar to Glühwein. There was lots of good food, fellowship and darts and ping pong, too! It was a lot of fun and got to meet a lot of new people there. It was super encouraging...
In the morning, we were back at the church building for service. Apparently the traditional Church of Christ and our congregation meet together. The other really cool thing was, too, that one of my Berlin flatmates' grandfather has been a part of the traditional congregation for a long time and actually gave the communion message that morning. I didn't meet him, because I didn't realize the connection until after I left Munich and got home.
After service, everyone sort of went their separate ways, which I was a little bit disappointed by, but you know me, I always find a way to keep busy. I'm always on the lookout for a new adventure. So, I went back to Karlstor and walked down the Fußgängerzone (pedestrian shopping zone), through the market during the daylight (and sunshine!), through the "Tal", to the Hofbräuhaus, where I was able to sit down at a Starbucks and upload my pics to facebook and to warm up with a cup of coffee. Took lots of pics in this part of town as it is the oldest part of the city and the buildings are hundreds of years old and very impressive. Walked further down the "Tal" and past Isartor, to the Deutsches Museum, up past Gasteig and took some photos of the very beautiful public swimming and recreation center Müllersches Volksbad. Google it, its incredible in there! I also took some pictures at dusk from the bluff overlooking the river and looking out over the city a bit. So amazing!
Then I started to head toward a meeting place for dinner with Gerd and another brother was supposed to join us as well, but ended up not coming. Either way, we went to my favorite Greek restaurant in the world, Lucullus and had a great dinner, just like I remembered it. Food is excellent there....
Monday was trying to get some stuff ready so that I could market myself to businesses, but unfortunately ran out of time and energy. I think I had just done too much walking around the previous days and was just exhausted. I did get some great shots of the Theatiner Church and Residenz, once again at dusk. Beautiful!
So Gerd and I met up again that night after he got off work. I had just arrived at the Theresienwiese or "Wies'n", which is where they hold Oktoberfest. It wasn't nearly as big, but they had a great Christmas market there, too. I stopped to get a Wurst at a little hut and they said it was all their own cattle and everything was organic. They had a spicy red Wurst, which was amazing. I put some sweet mustard on it and was absolutely in heaven. Definitely far and away the best bratwurst I have ever eaten. It was incredible. We walked around a bit and I needed to sit down, so we went in a tent and there was a band playing, so we grabbed a beer and just enjoyed ourselves.
We left there and headed home and I needed to try to figure out how I was going to get home the next day. So I went onto the Mitfahrzentrale website again and found a ride from a very convenient location to... Alexanderplatz in Berlin! I contacted him and by early the next morning, it was confirmed. We met and had a great trip, just talked the whole way home, very nice and interesting guy. Come to find out though, it wasn't good enough that he was driving to Alexanderplatz, but actually to the hotel right on the corner by my apartment! He found street parking behind the hotel, and it was about 100 yards/meters to my door! Couldn't have planned that one better if I tried!!! Thanks, God! The other cool thing about the driver, after I got out and was collecting my stuff, he said that if I ever make it back to Munich, that I should call him to grab a beer with him. How cool is that? I was super encouraged.
Got back in plenty of time to get some grocery shopping done and still get to an appointment in the early evening. Tonight, my flatmates treated me to a holiday meal of baked duck, Semmelknödel (dumplings), Rotkraut (like Sauerkraut, but sweeter and with red cabbage), and I made an ambrosia salad, the best I could anyway.... The whole dinner was delicious. Now, I am tired, so I am going to wrap this up for the night.
One last thing... I am contemplating trying to spend some time in Munich to try to get some job interviews, my flight is booked to come home for Dec. 19, but I am trying to see if I can make it an open ticket so that I can make the best use of my time before I HAVE to come home, which would be Jan. 9. I really want to make this work, even if it means finding a job in Munich. The economy is way better there and my chances of finding something there seems to be much better there. Please pray for God to show his will in this soon. Until the next time. I should be updating again in the next few days what my plans are. Thanks!!!
So the day before I left, someone told me that we were expecting a storm in Berlin. A really big storm, someone said it was supposed to be a hurricane and I just couldn't believe it... I've never heard of a hurricane in Germany, MUCH LESS in December!!! I did a little research, and sure enough, it was a Category 1 storm (lowest) but still the satellite images were impressive. Here in Berlin, we had very strong winds, like 50+ miles per hour (80+ kph), and even stronger gusts, up to 115kph (70mph) were expected! So I prepared myself because I had set up a ride through the "Mitfahrzentrale", which is a service that people traveling to other cities can catch a ride with others driving to the same place, and you help them with gas money. Essentially you go on the main website, put in the town you're traveling from, then the town you're traveling to, and see if anyone has posted a ride. Anyway, the guy kind of flaked on me the afternoon before I left, but I didn't find out until 9:30pm, so I was left scrambling at the last minute to find a ride.
I did find another person driving to Munich, but never heard back... So I decided to catch the bus. Buses here are a newer concept, not like in the states. The buses are very comfy. When I was in high school, we often traveled to track meets and other sporting events, usually hours away, in these buses. So, I knew it would be just fine. And it's also less expensive than taking the train or flying.
So I packed up and headed out right into the storm. I had to walk to the train station at Alexanderplatz, full-on into the wind, had to have been 50mph+ winds. It was definitely a challenge! I finally got to the bus station and by that time it had begun to snow very hard. Add the winds to that, it was extremely cold and unpleasant! Hurricane Xaver was no joke! For Germany, this was a big deal, but it was NOTHING like hurricanes in the states. First off, we are about 150 miles inland from the Baltic Sea and even further from the North Sea, so whatever we got in Berlin was a shadow of what hit the coast. I got to experience the outer bands of Hurricane Gloria in Virginia in Oct. 1985, but Gloria was much stronger. Either way, it was exciting and snow began to accumulate on the ground a bit as we hit the Autobahn, heading out of town.
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| Coming into Munich |
Anyway, the ride to Munich was about 7 hours long. I rode a double-decker bus and had a seat in the second row in the upper deck. It was really cool. Most of Germany was in the grips of that and/or other storms that day. No kidding, on the way to Munich, we experienced 6 snow storms, and between them, the sun popped out... It was really weird that the weather changed so much in about a 400-mile drive. Cool experience, though.
So we left there and went to another small market in the courtyard of the Residenz (palace) a few blocks away and then down to the big market on Marienplatz, the center of Munich. I was in heaven! My last memory of Christmas markets was at this market in 1991. I was riding my bike home late, maybe 11 or 12 at night and stopped on Marienplatz. All of the vendors huts were closed, but the Christmas lights were still on, it was totally quiet and nobody around. You could still smell the candied nuts and spiced wine, and it had just begun to snow. I think that memory will stay with me until the day I die. It was wonderful.
The new market there was much larger than it was before. Still amazingly beautiful, the same sights and sounds and smells and the beauty that is Munich. It's such a wonderful place any time of year, but at Christmas, it just can't be beat! Then we walked all the way to Karlstor and rode the subway back.
On Saturday, I wanted to do a little bit of personal sightseeing. I went to see where I lived in 1990-1992 and it was so great to be home. It was still really cold and windy and figured I had better go grab a coffee to warm up and a bite to eat. My camera was telling me that the memory was full so I needed to delete some pictures off the memory card as well. I went to the street next to the one where I lived as I figured I would find coffee shop and sure enough, there was one. As I looked in the window, it occurred to me, this was the bakery I used to visit to get my Käsestangen on the way to work 20+ years ago! Even though it had changed a lot in 21 years, I was very excited it was still there!
I went to the grocery store in the neighborhood and then visited a farmers market on Mariahilfplatz. I decided to call my former landlord and he still lived there and still had the same phone number since 1990!! He wasn't able to meet on short notice, but we had a good talk. Then I decided to go up to the old Army base where I lived for a couple years while I went to the college there. Just before I left Munich in 1992, they had proposed extending one of the subway lines to the base, so it was really cool to step out of the subway station to right in front of the college!
It was amazing to be there at the base for the first time in so many years! Unfortunately the excitement wore off a bit to see how certain buildings haven't been used in years and how they are beginning to deteriorate. The university stands proudly on the corner, but empty, seemingly trying to maintain it's stature despite peeling paint and missing a letter in the name on it's side. It's not quite the same to see the name of the school looking like a toothless grin, saying: "UNIVERSITY OF M RYLAND". It really loses something without that "A". As I took the walk I used to walk from the school back to the dorm, it became obvious to me that the Polizei had taken over a large part of the base as their own. On the main road, the dorms seemed to be well cared-for and lived in, in stark contrast to what lie behind it.
When I first went to school, they had just opened the Student Union Building, a small, two-story building, now covered in vines and clearly unused in many years. The rest of the walk to the other former dorm halls went about the same, obviously unused buildings, falling into disrepair. How the strength and pride of the base has simply deflated, rusted and is now overgrown with weeds.
I am glad to report this was really the only negative experience I had during the nearly 4 days I roamed the city. After I left the base, I went home to upload photos to my laptop, then left again to see some more! I went to see the area where I worked. My employer had moved to a location nearby in a very beautiful old mansion right behind the Friedensengel (Angel of Peace) column. They seem to be doing very well to say the least.
During the first 24 hours I was in Munich, there was cold temperatures and a very strong wind. This made for a very cold time being outside the vast majority of the day. As I went by my old office, I decided to go to the English Gardens, where they have a large beer garden during the warmer months, and as predicted, there was a large Christmas market there, too! I got something warm to eat and continued on through this really beautiful park, stopping to check the view from Monopteros, which is a circular colonade atop a small hill, which has views of some of the higher steeples of the city and provides a view of the park as the foreground. Caught it at just about sundown, so I got some nice pictures from there, then moved on to try to find the surfing area. A couple years ago I heard about there being a place for people to surf on a part of a large stream that flows through the park. It was pretty impressive, especially because there were still a bunch of people doing it in December!
That night, there was a singles and campus event at the church, so I met Gerd and we went over and helped set up for the Feuerzangenbowle and movie night. We watched a movie of the same name and drank the drink which is similar to Glühwein. There was lots of good food, fellowship and darts and ping pong, too! It was a lot of fun and got to meet a lot of new people there. It was super encouraging...
In the morning, we were back at the church building for service. Apparently the traditional Church of Christ and our congregation meet together. The other really cool thing was, too, that one of my Berlin flatmates' grandfather has been a part of the traditional congregation for a long time and actually gave the communion message that morning. I didn't meet him, because I didn't realize the connection until after I left Munich and got home.
After service, everyone sort of went their separate ways, which I was a little bit disappointed by, but you know me, I always find a way to keep busy. I'm always on the lookout for a new adventure. So, I went back to Karlstor and walked down the Fußgängerzone (pedestrian shopping zone), through the market during the daylight (and sunshine!), through the "Tal", to the Hofbräuhaus, where I was able to sit down at a Starbucks and upload my pics to facebook and to warm up with a cup of coffee. Took lots of pics in this part of town as it is the oldest part of the city and the buildings are hundreds of years old and very impressive. Walked further down the "Tal" and past Isartor, to the Deutsches Museum, up past Gasteig and took some photos of the very beautiful public swimming and recreation center Müllersches Volksbad. Google it, its incredible in there! I also took some pictures at dusk from the bluff overlooking the river and looking out over the city a bit. So amazing!
Then I started to head toward a meeting place for dinner with Gerd and another brother was supposed to join us as well, but ended up not coming. Either way, we went to my favorite Greek restaurant in the world, Lucullus and had a great dinner, just like I remembered it. Food is excellent there....
Monday was trying to get some stuff ready so that I could market myself to businesses, but unfortunately ran out of time and energy. I think I had just done too much walking around the previous days and was just exhausted. I did get some great shots of the Theatiner Church and Residenz, once again at dusk. Beautiful!
So Gerd and I met up again that night after he got off work. I had just arrived at the Theresienwiese or "Wies'n", which is where they hold Oktoberfest. It wasn't nearly as big, but they had a great Christmas market there, too. I stopped to get a Wurst at a little hut and they said it was all their own cattle and everything was organic. They had a spicy red Wurst, which was amazing. I put some sweet mustard on it and was absolutely in heaven. Definitely far and away the best bratwurst I have ever eaten. It was incredible. We walked around a bit and I needed to sit down, so we went in a tent and there was a band playing, so we grabbed a beer and just enjoyed ourselves.
We left there and headed home and I needed to try to figure out how I was going to get home the next day. So I went onto the Mitfahrzentrale website again and found a ride from a very convenient location to... Alexanderplatz in Berlin! I contacted him and by early the next morning, it was confirmed. We met and had a great trip, just talked the whole way home, very nice and interesting guy. Come to find out though, it wasn't good enough that he was driving to Alexanderplatz, but actually to the hotel right on the corner by my apartment! He found street parking behind the hotel, and it was about 100 yards/meters to my door! Couldn't have planned that one better if I tried!!! Thanks, God! The other cool thing about the driver, after I got out and was collecting my stuff, he said that if I ever make it back to Munich, that I should call him to grab a beer with him. How cool is that? I was super encouraged.
Got back in plenty of time to get some grocery shopping done and still get to an appointment in the early evening. Tonight, my flatmates treated me to a holiday meal of baked duck, Semmelknödel (dumplings), Rotkraut (like Sauerkraut, but sweeter and with red cabbage), and I made an ambrosia salad, the best I could anyway.... The whole dinner was delicious. Now, I am tired, so I am going to wrap this up for the night.
One last thing... I am contemplating trying to spend some time in Munich to try to get some job interviews, my flight is booked to come home for Dec. 19, but I am trying to see if I can make it an open ticket so that I can make the best use of my time before I HAVE to come home, which would be Jan. 9. I really want to make this work, even if it means finding a job in Munich. The economy is way better there and my chances of finding something there seems to be much better there. Please pray for God to show his will in this soon. Until the next time. I should be updating again in the next few days what my plans are. Thanks!!!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Spoiled
I just wanted to take a moment to say how spoiled I feel. Last night we had a "Non-marrieds" get together at the home of my good friend, Katja. Part of the activities was a chance to say something encouraging to other people on how they have impacted our lives.
One very special brother to me shared that if I had to go back to the states in a couple weeks (two weeks from today) that he would miss me more than anyone he has ever had to say good-bye to. Almost brought me to tears. Another brother shared that he felt he really bonded with me when I shared a photo I took of my family at a Single's Devotional. It was the last known picture taken of my uncle 11 days before he died. This brother was someone that I have not spent much time with, but was super encouraged by him (even though he is obsessed with 'knock knock' jokes, LOL). Katja also shared about the intense and spiritual talks we have had, eating chickens, (but somehow forgot to mention me spewing beer and bread all over her. LOL) etc. You know, it's amazing the experiences I have shared with these people in just such a short time. I really feel so blessed to know, and feel loved by, these incredible people.
Tonight, we had our Men's Worship Night and afterward, I was so encouraged to see someone get baptized, who had just moved with his family to Berlin from Milan, Italy. Tomorrow I get to spend time with Christoph and Sauerkraut (see my last post, lol) and on Friday (God willing), I will hopefully be driving to my former home of 4 years, Munich, to meet the people from the church there and see my old stomping grounds. Please pray for a safe and successful trip, and for God to bless me with a job either here or there.
Now, it's time for bed, my heart is full and I couldn't be more content with how God has blessed my life. A job would be nice, too, but for now, I'll just enjoy basking in the warmth of my God and the rich life I have. Who needs money when you have friends?
I'm going to close with a quote from one of my all-time favorite movies (and it's a Christmas movie), It's A Wonderful Life: "No man is a failure who has friends." - Clarence the Angel
Good night all. Much love from Berlin!
One very special brother to me shared that if I had to go back to the states in a couple weeks (two weeks from today) that he would miss me more than anyone he has ever had to say good-bye to. Almost brought me to tears. Another brother shared that he felt he really bonded with me when I shared a photo I took of my family at a Single's Devotional. It was the last known picture taken of my uncle 11 days before he died. This brother was someone that I have not spent much time with, but was super encouraged by him (even though he is obsessed with 'knock knock' jokes, LOL). Katja also shared about the intense and spiritual talks we have had, eating chickens, (but somehow forgot to mention me spewing beer and bread all over her. LOL) etc. You know, it's amazing the experiences I have shared with these people in just such a short time. I really feel so blessed to know, and feel loved by, these incredible people.
Tonight, we had our Men's Worship Night and afterward, I was so encouraged to see someone get baptized, who had just moved with his family to Berlin from Milan, Italy. Tomorrow I get to spend time with Christoph and Sauerkraut (see my last post, lol) and on Friday (God willing), I will hopefully be driving to my former home of 4 years, Munich, to meet the people from the church there and see my old stomping grounds. Please pray for a safe and successful trip, and for God to bless me with a job either here or there.
Now, it's time for bed, my heart is full and I couldn't be more content with how God has blessed my life. A job would be nice, too, but for now, I'll just enjoy basking in the warmth of my God and the rich life I have. Who needs money when you have friends?
I'm going to close with a quote from one of my all-time favorite movies (and it's a Christmas movie), It's A Wonderful Life: "No man is a failure who has friends." - Clarence the Angel
Good night all. Much love from Berlin!
Monday, December 2, 2013
Dreams Fulfilled, Struggles and Christmas Markets!
For the last week or so, I have really experienced the full range of emotions. I have done things that I waited 27 years to be able to do, and yet have still struggled with what I would characterize as severe discouragement, bordering on depression.
On Thursday, I woke up and just felt really down. Not feeling great, but also not sick. It was Thanksgiving and I had received an invite to join Mindy and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner, but because of the timing of my appointments, was unable to attend. So I just sort of moped around and didn't feel like doing anything. I just played computer games and generally did nothing for most of the day. It didn't help that I didn't really leave the apartment until the afternoon when I had the appointments. I don't think Thanksgiving was the only reason I was down, but I think it did play a role....
After my appointments, I called my good friend Jürgen (I call him "Sauerkraut", LOL), and he was just getting off work. So we met and went to grab some food and I was just open with him about my struggles, how I was feeling down and discouraged. He was very encouraging and, as usual in my times with Jürgen, we laughed and had deep talks and enjoyed ourselves. At the end, we took some time to pray, not just a short, superficial prayer, but a longer, deep prayer, where we share our struggles with God and pray for each other's needs. It was really good.
As I mentioned last week, Monday was my personal deadline for finding a job. God didn't answer in the way I had wanted, so as I recall, my thought was that if I didn't have a job by Nov. 25, that I would start making plans to head back to the U.S. and start looking for work elsewhere. (Although I actually have not closed the door on opportunities in Berlin...) So, it was after a few days that deadline passed that the "funk" hit me hard, which is normal for me after a big disappointment.
I have also decided that if I do end up returning to the states on Dec. 19, that it might be in order for me to try to enjoy my time here, while I continue to look for work. In that vein, on Monday last week, the weather was beautiful. It was sunny but cold, and the skies were nearly cloudless as I got up in the morning. Since I first came to Berlin in 1986, I always wanted to go up into the TV tower at Alexanderplatz, but didn't want to bother if the weather wasn't going to be nice. So this was my chance! I bought my ticket and away I went, up the shaft of the tower!! I was so excited! Back in 1986, I don't know what the tower was actually used for, but I'm relatively certain that you couldn't just go up in it and look around like you can today. Either way, I was excited for the opportunity and the views were breathtaking! Even in the Tiergarten (park), it still looked like the trees were changing colors! I could see my apartment from there, the Brandenburg Gate and many other amazing things from 203 meters/667 feet above the ground. The tower is over 100 feet taller than the Space Needle in Seattle.
A few years back, I was also going through a rough patch. I was discouraged because I hated my job that didn't pay much and life was just generally challenging. During that time I had "Sehnsucht", a very intense longing, for Germany. I would dream about Germany at night and daydream too. I decided at that time that I wanted to visit Germany, somehow, some way, but just didn't know how I was going to be able to afford it. I definitely couldn't at the time. The thing that was foremost on my "to do" list if I returned to Germany, was to visit a genuine German Christmas market.
On the same day I went up in the TV tower, I was able to visit my first Christmas market since 1991!! It was so amazing! I went to the market on Alexanderplatz (are you sick of hearing that name yet? LOL) and had a chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that bring back those incredible memories of the Christkindlmarkt in Munich from my youth. I went back in the evening and it was even more enchanting in the dark with the lights of the huts lit up. The sounds of Christmas music, the smell of candied nuts and Glühwein.... magical! One of the food huts they had there offered a pork goulash soup that was simply heaven in a bowl. (At 6 Euros a bowl, it had better be! LOL) I also tried the candied almonds (gebrannte Mandeln) and the dark chocolate-covered strawberries. Need any more reasons why I missed the Christmas markets in Germany?
One of the other ideas I had to enjoy the rest of my time here, was to take a short trip back to Munich. I lived there for 4 years from 1988 to 1992, and have tons of very special memories of another beautiful German city. I want to go to meet some of the people from the church there and to put my information out there to employers as well. But after last week, I think the best thing about going there is to get my mind out of it's funk and be able to see another place that has played such a HUGE part in shaping who I am as a person. This is the city where I went to college, owned my first car, had my first real jobs, had my first taste of freedom as an adult, my first relationships, etc, etc, etc. Munich is a very beautiful city and on a clear day, you can see the Alps from there! It also has a very rich history (but not quite to the extent of Berlin, sorry) and the people are very friendly there. For a very large metropolis of nearly 1.4 million, it's a very conservative city, which is very unusual. Most large cities tend to be more liberal. Munich seems like a small town in a lot of ways, but is clearly a major European city. I'm very excited to visit and see some old friends there, as well as meet some new ones as well.
I've also been reading a book lately by David Bercot (one of my favorite spiritual writers) called "Let Me Die in Ireland", which is the story of "Saint" Patrick. The book was given to me by a brother in the church here in Berlin and it has challenged my heart and my thinking and has encouraged me more than I could have ever imagined. It is the true story of Patrick's life and how he had to struggle to overcome to become God's chosen person to help the Irish people become Christians (even though he was British). It's a very challenging and inspiring book. Another book from Bercot's, "Will the Real Heretics Please Stand Up" is a must-read for all modern Christians. Seriously, pick up a copy of this book, it is challenging and gives perspective on our modern lives and what the first, second, and third-century Christians believed.
Will also share some pictures on here of the Christmas market on Gendarmentmarkt that I visited on Saturday and the Opernplatz Christmas market that I visited with Olli yesterday. On that note, I am going to sign off here and get some stuff done. Have a great week everyone!
On Thursday, I woke up and just felt really down. Not feeling great, but also not sick. It was Thanksgiving and I had received an invite to join Mindy and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner, but because of the timing of my appointments, was unable to attend. So I just sort of moped around and didn't feel like doing anything. I just played computer games and generally did nothing for most of the day. It didn't help that I didn't really leave the apartment until the afternoon when I had the appointments. I don't think Thanksgiving was the only reason I was down, but I think it did play a role....
After my appointments, I called my good friend Jürgen (I call him "Sauerkraut", LOL), and he was just getting off work. So we met and went to grab some food and I was just open with him about my struggles, how I was feeling down and discouraged. He was very encouraging and, as usual in my times with Jürgen, we laughed and had deep talks and enjoyed ourselves. At the end, we took some time to pray, not just a short, superficial prayer, but a longer, deep prayer, where we share our struggles with God and pray for each other's needs. It was really good.
As I mentioned last week, Monday was my personal deadline for finding a job. God didn't answer in the way I had wanted, so as I recall, my thought was that if I didn't have a job by Nov. 25, that I would start making plans to head back to the U.S. and start looking for work elsewhere. (Although I actually have not closed the door on opportunities in Berlin...) So, it was after a few days that deadline passed that the "funk" hit me hard, which is normal for me after a big disappointment.
I have also decided that if I do end up returning to the states on Dec. 19, that it might be in order for me to try to enjoy my time here, while I continue to look for work. In that vein, on Monday last week, the weather was beautiful. It was sunny but cold, and the skies were nearly cloudless as I got up in the morning. Since I first came to Berlin in 1986, I always wanted to go up into the TV tower at Alexanderplatz, but didn't want to bother if the weather wasn't going to be nice. So this was my chance! I bought my ticket and away I went, up the shaft of the tower!! I was so excited! Back in 1986, I don't know what the tower was actually used for, but I'm relatively certain that you couldn't just go up in it and look around like you can today. Either way, I was excited for the opportunity and the views were breathtaking! Even in the Tiergarten (park), it still looked like the trees were changing colors! I could see my apartment from there, the Brandenburg Gate and many other amazing things from 203 meters/667 feet above the ground. The tower is over 100 feet taller than the Space Needle in Seattle.
A few years back, I was also going through a rough patch. I was discouraged because I hated my job that didn't pay much and life was just generally challenging. During that time I had "Sehnsucht", a very intense longing, for Germany. I would dream about Germany at night and daydream too. I decided at that time that I wanted to visit Germany, somehow, some way, but just didn't know how I was going to be able to afford it. I definitely couldn't at the time. The thing that was foremost on my "to do" list if I returned to Germany, was to visit a genuine German Christmas market.
On the same day I went up in the TV tower, I was able to visit my first Christmas market since 1991!! It was so amazing! I went to the market on Alexanderplatz (are you sick of hearing that name yet? LOL) and had a chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that bring back those incredible memories of the Christkindlmarkt in Munich from my youth. I went back in the evening and it was even more enchanting in the dark with the lights of the huts lit up. The sounds of Christmas music, the smell of candied nuts and Glühwein.... magical! One of the food huts they had there offered a pork goulash soup that was simply heaven in a bowl. (At 6 Euros a bowl, it had better be! LOL) I also tried the candied almonds (gebrannte Mandeln) and the dark chocolate-covered strawberries. Need any more reasons why I missed the Christmas markets in Germany?
One of the other ideas I had to enjoy the rest of my time here, was to take a short trip back to Munich. I lived there for 4 years from 1988 to 1992, and have tons of very special memories of another beautiful German city. I want to go to meet some of the people from the church there and to put my information out there to employers as well. But after last week, I think the best thing about going there is to get my mind out of it's funk and be able to see another place that has played such a HUGE part in shaping who I am as a person. This is the city where I went to college, owned my first car, had my first real jobs, had my first taste of freedom as an adult, my first relationships, etc, etc, etc. Munich is a very beautiful city and on a clear day, you can see the Alps from there! It also has a very rich history (but not quite to the extent of Berlin, sorry) and the people are very friendly there. For a very large metropolis of nearly 1.4 million, it's a very conservative city, which is very unusual. Most large cities tend to be more liberal. Munich seems like a small town in a lot of ways, but is clearly a major European city. I'm very excited to visit and see some old friends there, as well as meet some new ones as well.
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| TV tower, World Clock from Christmas Market |
I've also been reading a book lately by David Bercot (one of my favorite spiritual writers) called "Let Me Die in Ireland", which is the story of "Saint" Patrick. The book was given to me by a brother in the church here in Berlin and it has challenged my heart and my thinking and has encouraged me more than I could have ever imagined. It is the true story of Patrick's life and how he had to struggle to overcome to become God's chosen person to help the Irish people become Christians (even though he was British). It's a very challenging and inspiring book. Another book from Bercot's, "Will the Real Heretics Please Stand Up" is a must-read for all modern Christians. Seriously, pick up a copy of this book, it is challenging and gives perspective on our modern lives and what the first, second, and third-century Christians believed.
Will also share some pictures on here of the Christmas market on Gendarmentmarkt that I visited on Saturday and the Opernplatz Christmas market that I visited with Olli yesterday. On that note, I am going to sign off here and get some stuff done. Have a great week everyone!
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| Alexanderplatz Christmas Market |
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| Christmas decorations |
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| Christmas decorations |
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| How do you like THEM apples? |
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| "Alex" Christmas Market |
Sunday, November 24, 2013
The Beginning of the End or the Beginning of a new Beginning?
Heart's feeling a bit heavy tonight despite a really good and encouraging day. It's 1a.m. and I should be really tired right now, but just feel a bit restless. Tomorrow is the day I set to have a job by, before I start searching for a job back in the states. In one way, I feel at peace, in another the future is really unsure. This doesn't necessarily mean I will actually be returning, just that it's a milestone I have set to hope for the best and yet still prepare for the "worst". I feel like over the past few days I have struggling to continue to believe and have prayed for that confidence. Still have some very viable and encouraging job leads so I'm not ready to give up quite yet.
Made some chili for the roommates tonight and it was pretty late. One of my flatmates called me on something I was doing (and had no idea... long story...) and I feel bad that I didn't realize. Then realized I missed an appointment with someone by Skype in the states about that same time. Feeling a bit frustrated with myself right now. Fact is, I was tired after church today and still haven't even taken a nap. That was 12 hours ago.
Oh well. God is still in control. I trust him. Now more than ever.... My every need is covered and I can be at peace. Need to pray before bed, so good night and many prayers tomorrow would be appreciated. Thanks!
Made some chili for the roommates tonight and it was pretty late. One of my flatmates called me on something I was doing (and had no idea... long story...) and I feel bad that I didn't realize. Then realized I missed an appointment with someone by Skype in the states about that same time. Feeling a bit frustrated with myself right now. Fact is, I was tired after church today and still haven't even taken a nap. That was 12 hours ago.
Oh well. God is still in control. I trust him. Now more than ever.... My every need is covered and I can be at peace. Need to pray before bed, so good night and many prayers tomorrow would be appreciated. Thanks!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Processing...
Yesterday was not a good day. Nothing bad happened, but I guess just the reality of things was beginning to hit me. People ask me how I'm doing and I always try to see the bright side. Sometimes I'm just glad to have an answer to "How's (a specific situation) going to turn out?", even if it's not the answer I would like, I'm grateful and happy to have an answer. But knowing myself, it usually takes a few days for the reality of what has happened to really sink in. That was yesterday, and yes, it was a Monday. LOL.
So I got up and was just generally not feeling hot. Not sick, per se, but just feeling tired and worn out. I think I also might have had a small stomach bug, too, but it would suffice to say that I was just not feeling great yesterday.
Looking back, it was sad, but even at times, it was kind of funny. I kind of moped around and as I was getting ready to head out to have dinner with a married couple from church, I couldn't find my camera that a friend had sent me from the states. I was totally perplexed. I knew I hadn't taken it out of my room, and I knew my housemates wouldn't have taken it, but it wasn't ANYWHERE... I finally said, "I just don't care," and left.... Guess I was just feeling overwhelmed in the moment. I got home and thought about it for a minute and found it. Under the bed, of course!! LOL.
I was feeling frustrated about not getting the job last week, having to continue the job search, doubting my language skills, feeling overwhelmed by debt piling up, having a headache, stomach issues, etc. You get the idea. To some extent, this has just been a brutal waiting game. I was praying and God reminded me last night of how He has really met my needs, taken such great care of me, given me friends and way more than I could ask or imagine. He really has... The things I have prayed for (everything but a job, thus far), God has blessed me with more than just the thing I prayed for, but has really given me MUCH more. So I surmised that God really is still here with me, providing for my needs for now, and that should be enough for me. If I can be grateful just to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach for now, I should just be thankful. The good news is that I have much more than that.
Walking from the train station to their house last night, I was just praying and trying to be open with God about my frustrations and disappointments. It was about a 10-minute walk and was able to get to my destination feeling a bit more surrendered about my perception of God's speed in handling my requests. We had a great pasta dinner and some encouraging conversation. I'm very grateful for the time and grateful I was able to get out of the house for a while to change my attitude!
I have set a deadline for finding a job for next Monday, Nov. 25. If I don't have a job by then, I will be starting to look for work as well in the U.S. (most likely Seattle). Please pray for me to have a job offer by then so that I will have time to put my requests through the foreigners authority. Otherwise I will probably be back in the states on Dec. 19 or 20. Thanks for all your prayers and support.
So I got up and was just generally not feeling hot. Not sick, per se, but just feeling tired and worn out. I think I also might have had a small stomach bug, too, but it would suffice to say that I was just not feeling great yesterday.
Looking back, it was sad, but even at times, it was kind of funny. I kind of moped around and as I was getting ready to head out to have dinner with a married couple from church, I couldn't find my camera that a friend had sent me from the states. I was totally perplexed. I knew I hadn't taken it out of my room, and I knew my housemates wouldn't have taken it, but it wasn't ANYWHERE... I finally said, "I just don't care," and left.... Guess I was just feeling overwhelmed in the moment. I got home and thought about it for a minute and found it. Under the bed, of course!! LOL.
I was feeling frustrated about not getting the job last week, having to continue the job search, doubting my language skills, feeling overwhelmed by debt piling up, having a headache, stomach issues, etc. You get the idea. To some extent, this has just been a brutal waiting game. I was praying and God reminded me last night of how He has really met my needs, taken such great care of me, given me friends and way more than I could ask or imagine. He really has... The things I have prayed for (everything but a job, thus far), God has blessed me with more than just the thing I prayed for, but has really given me MUCH more. So I surmised that God really is still here with me, providing for my needs for now, and that should be enough for me. If I can be grateful just to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach for now, I should just be thankful. The good news is that I have much more than that.
Walking from the train station to their house last night, I was just praying and trying to be open with God about my frustrations and disappointments. It was about a 10-minute walk and was able to get to my destination feeling a bit more surrendered about my perception of God's speed in handling my requests. We had a great pasta dinner and some encouraging conversation. I'm very grateful for the time and grateful I was able to get out of the house for a while to change my attitude!
I have set a deadline for finding a job for next Monday, Nov. 25. If I don't have a job by then, I will be starting to look for work as well in the U.S. (most likely Seattle). Please pray for me to have a job offer by then so that I will have time to put my requests through the foreigners authority. Otherwise I will probably be back in the states on Dec. 19 or 20. Thanks for all your prayers and support.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Quick Update and a Big Thank YOU!
It's 6:30 a.m. and am getting ready to head in to my 2nd to last day of training for this possible call center job. I just wanted to quickly update you on my dad's situation.
I spoke with my stepmother last night. She told me that my dad was put on the list yesterday to receive lung transplants. This is a very big step and she was very encouraged for this news. I'm very relieved as well, as it sounds like they have placed him in a higher priority level, so that they hope he will be able to get that transplant done soon. Great news! I've been praying for my stepmom as much as I've been praying for my dad. This has been very tough for her. I have so much respect for her, she has been a part of my life since I was seven.
It has also occurred to me lately in a number of conversations I've had with people that have been following my story and reading my blog that you have been an important part of this journey. You have watched my struggles, prayed for me or sent me good thoughts. You have suffered with me, shared my joy and my sorrow and have felt for me and supported me in ways I may never completely understand. I do, however, very much appreciate your support for me in this remarkable time in my life and your patience with me in the situation in general.
It has sometimes been difficult for me, and I have not always had the the emotional ability to spend the kind of time that you all would like, to answer your questions or to explain my reasoning for the decisions I make. I just ask that you trust me and if I am unable at that moment to spend time with you by IM or on Skype, please don't take it personally. Right now, especially, with the situation with my dad, spending more time away from my apartment, training for a job (which I hope by tomorrow they will want to hire me), and time spent with God and my spiritual family, I just don't have a lot of leftover time or strength.
I wanted to thank all of you also for your encouraging words on facebook and the thoughts you share with me, but if you see me online, and want to say hi, feel free, but I ask that you respect that I am still a bit raw right now or may simply not have much time to chat. Please just ask me if I am able to chat at the moment. As much as I would love to get that time with you personally, please just understand that I may not be able to spend the kind of time I have in the past.
I'm so grateful for all of you that have been reading and following my blog and have been active in my life in many different ways. Whether you realize it or not, you truly are a part of this time in my life and I'm so thankful for all of your prayers, I know God hears them and is encouraged by your faith in this situation as well. I'm truly a blessed man! As hard as the past few months have been for me, it has certainly been the most remarkable and rewarding time in my life. I will never forget the support and love you give me, it really does make a huge difference.
I spoke with my stepmother last night. She told me that my dad was put on the list yesterday to receive lung transplants. This is a very big step and she was very encouraged for this news. I'm very relieved as well, as it sounds like they have placed him in a higher priority level, so that they hope he will be able to get that transplant done soon. Great news! I've been praying for my stepmom as much as I've been praying for my dad. This has been very tough for her. I have so much respect for her, she has been a part of my life since I was seven.
It has also occurred to me lately in a number of conversations I've had with people that have been following my story and reading my blog that you have been an important part of this journey. You have watched my struggles, prayed for me or sent me good thoughts. You have suffered with me, shared my joy and my sorrow and have felt for me and supported me in ways I may never completely understand. I do, however, very much appreciate your support for me in this remarkable time in my life and your patience with me in the situation in general.
It has sometimes been difficult for me, and I have not always had the the emotional ability to spend the kind of time that you all would like, to answer your questions or to explain my reasoning for the decisions I make. I just ask that you trust me and if I am unable at that moment to spend time with you by IM or on Skype, please don't take it personally. Right now, especially, with the situation with my dad, spending more time away from my apartment, training for a job (which I hope by tomorrow they will want to hire me), and time spent with God and my spiritual family, I just don't have a lot of leftover time or strength.
I wanted to thank all of you also for your encouraging words on facebook and the thoughts you share with me, but if you see me online, and want to say hi, feel free, but I ask that you respect that I am still a bit raw right now or may simply not have much time to chat. Please just ask me if I am able to chat at the moment. As much as I would love to get that time with you personally, please just understand that I may not be able to spend the kind of time I have in the past.
I'm so grateful for all of you that have been reading and following my blog and have been active in my life in many different ways. Whether you realize it or not, you truly are a part of this time in my life and I'm so thankful for all of your prayers, I know God hears them and is encouraged by your faith in this situation as well. I'm truly a blessed man! As hard as the past few months have been for me, it has certainly been the most remarkable and rewarding time in my life. I will never forget the support and love you give me, it really does make a huge difference.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Building Character
I'll just let you know up front, there may be some whining and complaining happening in this post. Read at your own risk. :)
In reality, life has actually been pretty encouraging, but there always seems to be a few significant challenges coming my way or hanging around making themselves a nuisance in my life. The Bible talks about our hope in heaven in 1 Peter 1:6-7 "In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
I have to be honest, I am struggling with the "rejoice" part of this scripture. This week has been super challenging. It started last week with having to move and all the stuff that went along with that. Then, I found out that my father is in the ICU in Arizona with double pneumonia, which is serious at his age, despite his otherwise good health. Then I found out that he had been moved to another hospital where it looks like he is going onto the donor's list to receive either one or two lung transplants. I'm 5,000 miles away and can't do anything to be there now...
On top of all that, I still have not been able to get in touch with anyone in Spokane to help my renter by looking at an issue in the house that needs to be evaluated. This is despite having 3 or 4 people promise to help me with minor issues with the house while I'm gone. Again, being so far away, I have ZERO power to do anything at all about it. These are people that I know are busy, have their own lives, but in the opposite situation, I think I would try to help out. I'm struggling to forgive and trust the people that have not decided to try to help me. I feel hurt and abandoned. If you say you are going to do something (anything), people rely on you to have integrity and to do it, otherwise it could put someone in a very challenging situation. I have to work through these issues on my own, but it doesn't hurt any less. Even in the world, we say "Your word is your bond", the Bible says (Jesus actually speaking in the 'Sermon on the Mount') in Matthew 5:33-37 -- "Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.' But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all; either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." James repeats this in his letter in James 5:12.
None of us is perfect in this, but especially as Christians, we need to strive to do much better in this area.
Between the very serious health challenges of my father and my family, my inability to move forward with my renter, and the regular stuff that happens daily, I have just been feeling beat down again. I was so discouraged last night. I'm so grateful that my most recent plea for help was not in vain and that it looks like I might be able to at least find out what is going on at the house...
I would like to also share something that happened to me last night. I was unconsciously waiting for this to happen and honestly I didn't think it would take more than 7 months for it to happen the first time. I have shared before that on Alexanderplatz, there are bratwurst vendors that essentially wear a grill and they are able to walk around and sell their stuff. Lately, they have a new recruit who is in a wheelchair. I will seek this guy out before I go to the others because they seem to stick him in less-traveled areas. As I was buying a bratwurst, a younger kid (late teens, early 20's maybe), walking behind me, said "Fetter Sau" which means fat pig. It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to me, but I just ignored him. The bratwurst vendor's eyes got really big and he looked at me with a look like "didn't you just hear what he said?", moving his head to point out the kid that had just walked by. I looked at him and said "I don't take stupid people like that seriously." I really felt bad about calling the guy stupid, but I really just sort of blew the whole thing off.
When you are in the process of reinventing yourself and you have persevered through what I have the past few years, I just couldn't take him seriously. He doesn't know the first thing about me, he was simply ignorant. I don't get my identity from my weight, or any superficial aspect of myself. I have my identity in that I love God and am actively trying to live in a way that honors him. Why would I believe the opinion of any person that has never met me, spoken to me or tried to understand who I am or why I am how I am. I am confident in who I am, and I actually really like who I am (even though there is still a lot I need to change) and any other negativity, I have learned to disregard. In the train a few minutes later, I just started smiling, thinking of all the ways God has blessed my life. I felt really sorry for that kid. I prayed for God to help him out in whatever areas he is struggling that he doesn't know how to love. I really hope God moves in his heart powerfully.
Generally, I have decided to ignore negativity in my life. If anyone comes to me and points out something (even if they don't do it in a loving way), I always try to listen, because I believe that people generally wouldn't say anything unless they believed there was a hint of truth in it. That's not what I'm referring to. I have to stand before God one day to justify how I lived my life, and I will do my best to explain to Him why I make the decisions I did, but in the end, they are my responsibility before God. So are yours. If I'm in sin, please show me my fault. If you can back it up with scripture, then you will very likely win me over. If it's matter of opinion or a "disputable matter", I will still listen to you but I may or may not change it.
I have also been super encouraged by my new roommates. When I moved in, they had just made some rice krispie treats, which is hard to make here because some of the ingredients are somewhat difficult to find. They have cooked for me, and ask me frequently ask me to join them for dinner. One of them even offers to throw some of my laundry in with theirs because they don't want to do a half load. We have had some great talks and it's been super encouraging to live here.
Also, this week, I have been doing some training for a company, in the hopes that they will hire me on for a call center job. I really enjoy it a lot and am learning a ton. I'm very grateful for the opportunity and could use your continued prayers for it to turn into employment for me.
Also as I got up this morning and was getting ready to leave the house, I saw this amazing sunrise. After going to bed last night discouraged and frustrated, and had a hard time falling asleep. I was able to get a little extra sleep and then saw the sunrise from God. I believe that he knows what's going on my life, and that he is going through them with me. Scott preached on that this week. Super encouraging.
Well, I have not gotten a lot of sleep the past few nights and it's 6:30pm and I'm already ready for bed. I probably won't be going to bed for a while, but I'm definitely tired enough to crash right now!
In reality, life has actually been pretty encouraging, but there always seems to be a few significant challenges coming my way or hanging around making themselves a nuisance in my life. The Bible talks about our hope in heaven in 1 Peter 1:6-7 "In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
I have to be honest, I am struggling with the "rejoice" part of this scripture. This week has been super challenging. It started last week with having to move and all the stuff that went along with that. Then, I found out that my father is in the ICU in Arizona with double pneumonia, which is serious at his age, despite his otherwise good health. Then I found out that he had been moved to another hospital where it looks like he is going onto the donor's list to receive either one or two lung transplants. I'm 5,000 miles away and can't do anything to be there now...
On top of all that, I still have not been able to get in touch with anyone in Spokane to help my renter by looking at an issue in the house that needs to be evaluated. This is despite having 3 or 4 people promise to help me with minor issues with the house while I'm gone. Again, being so far away, I have ZERO power to do anything at all about it. These are people that I know are busy, have their own lives, but in the opposite situation, I think I would try to help out. I'm struggling to forgive and trust the people that have not decided to try to help me. I feel hurt and abandoned. If you say you are going to do something (anything), people rely on you to have integrity and to do it, otherwise it could put someone in a very challenging situation. I have to work through these issues on my own, but it doesn't hurt any less. Even in the world, we say "Your word is your bond", the Bible says (Jesus actually speaking in the 'Sermon on the Mount') in Matthew 5:33-37 -- "Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.' But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all; either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." James repeats this in his letter in James 5:12.
None of us is perfect in this, but especially as Christians, we need to strive to do much better in this area.
Between the very serious health challenges of my father and my family, my inability to move forward with my renter, and the regular stuff that happens daily, I have just been feeling beat down again. I was so discouraged last night. I'm so grateful that my most recent plea for help was not in vain and that it looks like I might be able to at least find out what is going on at the house...
I would like to also share something that happened to me last night. I was unconsciously waiting for this to happen and honestly I didn't think it would take more than 7 months for it to happen the first time. I have shared before that on Alexanderplatz, there are bratwurst vendors that essentially wear a grill and they are able to walk around and sell their stuff. Lately, they have a new recruit who is in a wheelchair. I will seek this guy out before I go to the others because they seem to stick him in less-traveled areas. As I was buying a bratwurst, a younger kid (late teens, early 20's maybe), walking behind me, said "Fetter Sau" which means fat pig. It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to me, but I just ignored him. The bratwurst vendor's eyes got really big and he looked at me with a look like "didn't you just hear what he said?", moving his head to point out the kid that had just walked by. I looked at him and said "I don't take stupid people like that seriously." I really felt bad about calling the guy stupid, but I really just sort of blew the whole thing off.
When you are in the process of reinventing yourself and you have persevered through what I have the past few years, I just couldn't take him seriously. He doesn't know the first thing about me, he was simply ignorant. I don't get my identity from my weight, or any superficial aspect of myself. I have my identity in that I love God and am actively trying to live in a way that honors him. Why would I believe the opinion of any person that has never met me, spoken to me or tried to understand who I am or why I am how I am. I am confident in who I am, and I actually really like who I am (even though there is still a lot I need to change) and any other negativity, I have learned to disregard. In the train a few minutes later, I just started smiling, thinking of all the ways God has blessed my life. I felt really sorry for that kid. I prayed for God to help him out in whatever areas he is struggling that he doesn't know how to love. I really hope God moves in his heart powerfully.
Generally, I have decided to ignore negativity in my life. If anyone comes to me and points out something (even if they don't do it in a loving way), I always try to listen, because I believe that people generally wouldn't say anything unless they believed there was a hint of truth in it. That's not what I'm referring to. I have to stand before God one day to justify how I lived my life, and I will do my best to explain to Him why I make the decisions I did, but in the end, they are my responsibility before God. So are yours. If I'm in sin, please show me my fault. If you can back it up with scripture, then you will very likely win me over. If it's matter of opinion or a "disputable matter", I will still listen to you but I may or may not change it.
I have also been super encouraged by my new roommates. When I moved in, they had just made some rice krispie treats, which is hard to make here because some of the ingredients are somewhat difficult to find. They have cooked for me, and ask me frequently ask me to join them for dinner. One of them even offers to throw some of my laundry in with theirs because they don't want to do a half load. We have had some great talks and it's been super encouraging to live here.
Also, this week, I have been doing some training for a company, in the hopes that they will hire me on for a call center job. I really enjoy it a lot and am learning a ton. I'm very grateful for the opportunity and could use your continued prayers for it to turn into employment for me.
Also as I got up this morning and was getting ready to leave the house, I saw this amazing sunrise. After going to bed last night discouraged and frustrated, and had a hard time falling asleep. I was able to get a little extra sleep and then saw the sunrise from God. I believe that he knows what's going on my life, and that he is going through them with me. Scott preached on that this week. Super encouraging.
 |
| Sunrise from my balcony this morning. Wish my camera took better pics... |
Well, I have not gotten a lot of sleep the past few nights and it's 6:30pm and I'm already ready for bed. I probably won't be going to bed for a while, but I'm definitely tired enough to crash right now!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Finally! An Opportunity!
Had an interview today for a call center job and it was very encouraging. Thanks for your prayers, even they have *NOT* offered me a job....yet, what they have done, is offer me an opportunity to train starting Monday next week. Please pray for them to not only have a good impression of me, but also that I can learn everything I need to and that I can exceed my own expectations, as well as theirs! At any time they can decide to release me from training if I they think I am not a good fit for the job.
In any case, I'm very excited about this opportunity, I would be so encouraged to be able to work again. Keep those prayers coming, they are definitely working. I will keep you all updated on the training!
In any case, I'm very excited about this opportunity, I would be so encouraged to be able to work again. Keep those prayers coming, they are definitely working. I will keep you all updated on the training!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
First Impressions of The New Neighborhood
Welcome to my 100th post of my blog!!
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All I can say is WOW. I don't claim to know what God is up to sometimes, but I have to believe God is very intent on encouraging me. I am so excited about my new living situation, the neighborhood and just about everything that goes along with it. I have mentioned before in this blog that during those times of struggle, I would often end up at "Alex" or Alexanderplatz, which is the main square in the traditional center of Berlin (essentially near where the city was founded.) I would come here to pray. There's something magical about this place for me.
This is one of the places I visited over Labor Day, 1986 as a 16 year old, while it was still East Berlin, behind the wall. This was the commercial shopping center of East Berlin (ie: downtown), the captial of former East Germany. A lot has changed since 1986, obviously. "Alex" is now a vibrant and fun place with shopping, eateries, one of Berlin's largest hotels, the famous TV tower, and is a huge hub for local and national trains, buses, trams and subway transportation. People come here to see the sights, skate in front of the TV tower, hang out with friends by the fountains or just shop or go out to dinner. I have been enchanted by this square, seeing what it looked like 27 years ago, seeing how it changed 3 years after the wall fell, and now, 21 years later, it's barely recognizable from it's suppressed potential of DDR times, thank God! No more soldiers and guns on the square, just shoppers, pedestrians and entrepreneurs selling bratwurst from grills they wear!
Now, I live just a few hundred yards from this iconic place. In 5 minutes I can be in the Nikolaiviertel, which is the traditional birthplace of the city, complete with a nearly 800 year old church. Eight. Hundred. Years. Can you even fathom a building that has been in one place that long???? There are simply too many historic and interesting sights to list here, it's lengthy! And I get to live here!!! So humbled and grateful for this incredible gift.
Back in June, I went around to a number of hotels around Alex and also along the Kurfürstendamm in West Berlin and I am realizing how many more hotels there are within just a few blocks of my apartment. I am so excited because there are so many places I can apply here, that I can walk into, drop off my resume and meet people. Not to mention, there are nearly countless other tourist shops and opportunities in this neighborhood (souvenir shops and the like). I can't even imagine how many possibilities there might actually be here. I'm very excited to see what God does with this.
I am also encouraged that I can get most places in the city in 30-40 minutes instead of an hour each way! My roommates have been so great and ready to help me with my laptop issues, and have already served me, fed me and just had a good laugh with them. Our next door neighbors are also good friends with my roommates, and they also go to my church! We all had lunch together today and great food together and a great time!
Otherwise I had a good, but kind of strange day. I got up this morning and took the regional train back to Spandau. (Have I mentioned how much I love the regional trains? LOL) One of the lines goes directly from Alex to Spandau, so it was quick and easy! Dropped off the keys and some stuff with the former roommate and then headed back. Got to the Spandau train station and I get up to the platform and about 10 police officers, with a dog, rush past me. About that time a train was arriving on the track across the platform from me and the police officers hemmed in about 15-20 rowdy soccer fans that were exiting the train. They were loud and everyone in the train station was looking at them. I was about 20 feet (6 meters) away from the circle of police officers. A few minutes later, about 20 more police come rushing up on the platform to fortify their presence. It was calm, but tense. I wish I knew what happened on that train!!! My train came shortly after the reinforcements came, kind of relieved actually...
So, I got home and had lunch with the roomies and the neighbors and then had to excuse myself for my weekly Skype call, which lasts usually about 2 hours. After the call, I decided to try to find the nearest supermarket to get some things. I couldn't find the one supermarket I was told about, and the next one was over a half mile away. No biggie, except when you buy a 6-pack of 1.5 liter bottles of water in one arm (about 20 lbs), another bag full of canned and bottled veggies, not to mention my backpack! It took me probably 20 minutes to get it all home. Whew!!
Got home and was excited to have a Skype time with one of my very best friends, Don C, in Spokane. He had some people over for breakfast and I got to say hi to a few others that were there, Sara, Sean & Esmeralda and some others. I was super encouraged by the call! It's hard to believe that I have been gone from Spokane for 7 months today!
After that call, I had about two hours to do some more exploring. I decided to go to "Alexa", which is a shopping mall just off Alexanderplatz. I looked around a bit and ended up going to the grocery store they have there in the basement. The other market was small, with not much selection and was it pricey! This place was a bit further, but much more reasonable. I think I might have to buy groceries elsewhere and bring them here...
Got home and had a conference call in the states at 9pm. You've gotta love technology! So, that was about an hour and then got some time to hang out with the roomies and their guest from out of town. Interesting guy, good-hearted.... He has an interesting story, actually pretty inspiring.
Anyway, tomorrow I have "house church" worship service at 3pm. Looking forward to sleeping in a bit, but for now, it's just past 1 a.m. Nov. 3. I better wrap this up and get to bed. Thanks for checking up on me. Please pray for my call center job interview this Monday (tomorrow) at 3pm (6am PST and 9am EST). Prayers, good thoughts and vibes welcome any time!
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All I can say is WOW. I don't claim to know what God is up to sometimes, but I have to believe God is very intent on encouraging me. I am so excited about my new living situation, the neighborhood and just about everything that goes along with it. I have mentioned before in this blog that during those times of struggle, I would often end up at "Alex" or Alexanderplatz, which is the main square in the traditional center of Berlin (essentially near where the city was founded.) I would come here to pray. There's something magical about this place for me.
This is one of the places I visited over Labor Day, 1986 as a 16 year old, while it was still East Berlin, behind the wall. This was the commercial shopping center of East Berlin (ie: downtown), the captial of former East Germany. A lot has changed since 1986, obviously. "Alex" is now a vibrant and fun place with shopping, eateries, one of Berlin's largest hotels, the famous TV tower, and is a huge hub for local and national trains, buses, trams and subway transportation. People come here to see the sights, skate in front of the TV tower, hang out with friends by the fountains or just shop or go out to dinner. I have been enchanted by this square, seeing what it looked like 27 years ago, seeing how it changed 3 years after the wall fell, and now, 21 years later, it's barely recognizable from it's suppressed potential of DDR times, thank God! No more soldiers and guns on the square, just shoppers, pedestrians and entrepreneurs selling bratwurst from grills they wear!
Now, I live just a few hundred yards from this iconic place. In 5 minutes I can be in the Nikolaiviertel, which is the traditional birthplace of the city, complete with a nearly 800 year old church. Eight. Hundred. Years. Can you even fathom a building that has been in one place that long???? There are simply too many historic and interesting sights to list here, it's lengthy! And I get to live here!!! So humbled and grateful for this incredible gift.
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| View from my window, leaning out, looking to the left |
Back in June, I went around to a number of hotels around Alex and also along the Kurfürstendamm in West Berlin and I am realizing how many more hotels there are within just a few blocks of my apartment. I am so excited because there are so many places I can apply here, that I can walk into, drop off my resume and meet people. Not to mention, there are nearly countless other tourist shops and opportunities in this neighborhood (souvenir shops and the like). I can't even imagine how many possibilities there might actually be here. I'm very excited to see what God does with this.
I am also encouraged that I can get most places in the city in 30-40 minutes instead of an hour each way! My roommates have been so great and ready to help me with my laptop issues, and have already served me, fed me and just had a good laugh with them. Our next door neighbors are also good friends with my roommates, and they also go to my church! We all had lunch together today and great food together and a great time!
Otherwise I had a good, but kind of strange day. I got up this morning and took the regional train back to Spandau. (Have I mentioned how much I love the regional trains? LOL) One of the lines goes directly from Alex to Spandau, so it was quick and easy! Dropped off the keys and some stuff with the former roommate and then headed back. Got to the Spandau train station and I get up to the platform and about 10 police officers, with a dog, rush past me. About that time a train was arriving on the track across the platform from me and the police officers hemmed in about 15-20 rowdy soccer fans that were exiting the train. They were loud and everyone in the train station was looking at them. I was about 20 feet (6 meters) away from the circle of police officers. A few minutes later, about 20 more police come rushing up on the platform to fortify their presence. It was calm, but tense. I wish I knew what happened on that train!!! My train came shortly after the reinforcements came, kind of relieved actually...
So, I got home and had lunch with the roomies and the neighbors and then had to excuse myself for my weekly Skype call, which lasts usually about 2 hours. After the call, I decided to try to find the nearest supermarket to get some things. I couldn't find the one supermarket I was told about, and the next one was over a half mile away. No biggie, except when you buy a 6-pack of 1.5 liter bottles of water in one arm (about 20 lbs), another bag full of canned and bottled veggies, not to mention my backpack! It took me probably 20 minutes to get it all home. Whew!!
Got home and was excited to have a Skype time with one of my very best friends, Don C, in Spokane. He had some people over for breakfast and I got to say hi to a few others that were there, Sara, Sean & Esmeralda and some others. I was super encouraged by the call! It's hard to believe that I have been gone from Spokane for 7 months today!
After that call, I had about two hours to do some more exploring. I decided to go to "Alexa", which is a shopping mall just off Alexanderplatz. I looked around a bit and ended up going to the grocery store they have there in the basement. The other market was small, with not much selection and was it pricey! This place was a bit further, but much more reasonable. I think I might have to buy groceries elsewhere and bring them here...
Got home and had a conference call in the states at 9pm. You've gotta love technology! So, that was about an hour and then got some time to hang out with the roomies and their guest from out of town. Interesting guy, good-hearted.... He has an interesting story, actually pretty inspiring.
Anyway, tomorrow I have "house church" worship service at 3pm. Looking forward to sleeping in a bit, but for now, it's just past 1 a.m. Nov. 3. I better wrap this up and get to bed. Thanks for checking up on me. Please pray for my call center job interview this Monday (tomorrow) at 3pm (6am PST and 9am EST). Prayers, good thoughts and vibes welcome any time!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Plot Twist!!
The title of my blog entry today is in honor of my friend Jesse. He posts a meme on facebook often that simply states "When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, "Plot Twist" and move on." I don't say that to mean that something has actually gone wrong, just not the way I thought it would. Not a foreign concept to me of late, but I thought of this immediately based on something that happened yesterday.
I was making some of the final preparations for my move today. One of the stops I had to make was to the transit authority. The rail system is set up into zones (like a dart board). The innermost zone is A, outside the "Ring" line (two trains running opposite directions essentially in a large circle/ellipse around the city) is zone B, and Zone C is mostly rural areas that run up to about 15-20 miles from the center of the city. Where I was going to live was past zone C and you would have to purchase an "ABC" ticket "plus one county." Zone C is surrounded by a number of these different counties and you can only use that ticket in the one county you pick.
Since I still have two weeks left on my monthly pass, I went in to see if I could swap it for a the other ticket (hoping they would give me credit for what I had left) and then sell me the correct type. They said they couldn't do that. Essentially what they told me was that if I were to move out there, my current ticket would be useless and I would have to sell it to someone or lose the nearly 40 Euros (over $50!) still remaining on it. Then, I would still have to buy the other ticket for 127 Euros (about $170!). Not great options, unfortunately.
I was also looking at the map of where I would be living in that town. It's not too far from the train station, but there is no quick or easy way to get there. In fact, walking it would take quite a while, or by bike would still be a good ride. In the winter (coming up soon), it would be challenging... So I was left with a choice, do I try to make it work even though I really couldn't afford all the extra expense, or should I go with another plan? The other thing I had to take into consideration was the amount of time I would have to spend on the train everyday (plus walking to the station). Also, what if there was a problem somewhere along the line or what would happen if I missed my train? It would be another hour before I could catch another.
So I asked some brothers what they thought of the situation and everyone seemed to agree that it would not make sense. A few weeks ago, a lady that I met at the library and who has been visiting our church with some regularity told me that a family member might have a room for rent near Alexanderplatz (one of my favorite places in the city), which is also very centrally located. So, after I had prayed about it, I called them on the room and by the grace of God, was able to go look at it right away.
The room was really nice, and had a bed, dresser, place to hang clothes and a shelf. It's a good sized room, very clean and tidy. Also, got to get to know my flatmates a little better too and I was very pleased with everything I saw. I was also offered an extremely reasonable rate on the room and had just enough to move in. Took some time during the evening to get more advice and to see how God would answer a specific prayer. By 9 p.m., I contacted them to say I was interested. I did also warn them that I wanted to move in today, which they were fine with.
Financially, it would cost me about 30 Euros a month more to live there than if I lived outside the city. Based on the amount of time I would save, my ability to be flexible and to potentially get to an interview or to a job, the consensus was that it was worth the extra 1 Euro per day.
So, a dear brother was kind enough to help me move my stuff in his van to the new place. It was quick and so easy and my new flatmates even helped carry stuff up. I have shared before how much I love going to this area of town and I am so encouraged to actually be able to live there! The apartment is on the 11th floor (that's right eleventh!), I actually have a view out my window and the TV tower is so close, I feel like I could almost touch it. Wow, I'm so blown away that God has allowed me to move here, I'm so excited about this place and my new flatmates (including two cats which also seem pretty cool.)
Once I was done with moving stuff in, I was able to still make my tutoring class and head to the library to hang out with the Lewises and see some kids come in for Halloween.
On that topic... Halloween is just starting to catch on here. There were a few kids that came by the library tonight for candy, but we also had someone throw an egg at the window, too. Hm. One of the things I really used to love about Germany was that it was more traditional and less commercialized. Apparently there are a lot of foreign companies encouraging the same kind of commercialism that I saw in the US. I've gotta be honest, I don't think it's making Germany better. In some ways, it kind of makes me sad, actually. At least I have always enjoyed Halloween and there's really not much anyone can do to turn back the hands of time at this point, so I'll just chalk this up to a taste of home.
And now, it's 9pm and I should probably head home and get some things unpacked. It's been a good, but kind of long day, and I am sure I will sleep well tonight. Can't wait to get back to my new place! Have a safe and happy Halloween, all!!
I was making some of the final preparations for my move today. One of the stops I had to make was to the transit authority. The rail system is set up into zones (like a dart board). The innermost zone is A, outside the "Ring" line (two trains running opposite directions essentially in a large circle/ellipse around the city) is zone B, and Zone C is mostly rural areas that run up to about 15-20 miles from the center of the city. Where I was going to live was past zone C and you would have to purchase an "ABC" ticket "plus one county." Zone C is surrounded by a number of these different counties and you can only use that ticket in the one county you pick.
Since I still have two weeks left on my monthly pass, I went in to see if I could swap it for a the other ticket (hoping they would give me credit for what I had left) and then sell me the correct type. They said they couldn't do that. Essentially what they told me was that if I were to move out there, my current ticket would be useless and I would have to sell it to someone or lose the nearly 40 Euros (over $50!) still remaining on it. Then, I would still have to buy the other ticket for 127 Euros (about $170!). Not great options, unfortunately.
I was also looking at the map of where I would be living in that town. It's not too far from the train station, but there is no quick or easy way to get there. In fact, walking it would take quite a while, or by bike would still be a good ride. In the winter (coming up soon), it would be challenging... So I was left with a choice, do I try to make it work even though I really couldn't afford all the extra expense, or should I go with another plan? The other thing I had to take into consideration was the amount of time I would have to spend on the train everyday (plus walking to the station). Also, what if there was a problem somewhere along the line or what would happen if I missed my train? It would be another hour before I could catch another.
So I asked some brothers what they thought of the situation and everyone seemed to agree that it would not make sense. A few weeks ago, a lady that I met at the library and who has been visiting our church with some regularity told me that a family member might have a room for rent near Alexanderplatz (one of my favorite places in the city), which is also very centrally located. So, after I had prayed about it, I called them on the room and by the grace of God, was able to go look at it right away.
The room was really nice, and had a bed, dresser, place to hang clothes and a shelf. It's a good sized room, very clean and tidy. Also, got to get to know my flatmates a little better too and I was very pleased with everything I saw. I was also offered an extremely reasonable rate on the room and had just enough to move in. Took some time during the evening to get more advice and to see how God would answer a specific prayer. By 9 p.m., I contacted them to say I was interested. I did also warn them that I wanted to move in today, which they were fine with.
Financially, it would cost me about 30 Euros a month more to live there than if I lived outside the city. Based on the amount of time I would save, my ability to be flexible and to potentially get to an interview or to a job, the consensus was that it was worth the extra 1 Euro per day.
So, a dear brother was kind enough to help me move my stuff in his van to the new place. It was quick and so easy and my new flatmates even helped carry stuff up. I have shared before how much I love going to this area of town and I am so encouraged to actually be able to live there! The apartment is on the 11th floor (that's right eleventh!), I actually have a view out my window and the TV tower is so close, I feel like I could almost touch it. Wow, I'm so blown away that God has allowed me to move here, I'm so excited about this place and my new flatmates (including two cats which also seem pretty cool.)
Once I was done with moving stuff in, I was able to still make my tutoring class and head to the library to hang out with the Lewises and see some kids come in for Halloween.
On that topic... Halloween is just starting to catch on here. There were a few kids that came by the library tonight for candy, but we also had someone throw an egg at the window, too. Hm. One of the things I really used to love about Germany was that it was more traditional and less commercialized. Apparently there are a lot of foreign companies encouraging the same kind of commercialism that I saw in the US. I've gotta be honest, I don't think it's making Germany better. In some ways, it kind of makes me sad, actually. At least I have always enjoyed Halloween and there's really not much anyone can do to turn back the hands of time at this point, so I'll just chalk this up to a taste of home.
And now, it's 9pm and I should probably head home and get some things unpacked. It's been a good, but kind of long day, and I am sure I will sleep well tonight. Can't wait to get back to my new place! Have a safe and happy Halloween, all!!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Struggling to Hold on to Faith
Good evening from Schöneberg (Berlin)! I am writing to you from the library tonight because I think I'm going to leave my laptop here tonight and just come back in the morning to continue my job search. May do that all week actually, just one less thing to have to move.
I'm not sure what I want to name this post, but I'll share with you a little bit what's going on in my life, my mind and in my heart. I'll work on the title once I've finished putting down my thoughts here...
So, ever since I had my residence permit renewed on the 10th (Thank you, God!!), I have been feeling a lot of different things and I am not sure I have completely come to terms with what all this means. So this post is to help me sort through some of these issues. This is one of the things I love about writing, it's not only therapeutic, informational for you, but it helps me to sort out all the things that sometimes just seem to get jumbled up in my head so that I can have clear(er) direction in what needs to happen next.
First of all, I have noticed something in my character lately. This whole experience has been so amazing. I definitely feel like it has been such a gift from God. I'm so blown away with how he has blessed it, met my every need and given me incredible friendships in the relatively short time I have been here. The fact of the matter is that it has caused some pride in me. It has come out in conversations with people and even in posts on facebook. I'm sorry for that if I have treated any of you that way. I pray for your forgiveness.
I feel like God really believes in me, which is inconceivable to me.... But I look at my current situation and still have mixed feelings. In some ways I have compared my situation to those of some of those in the Bible. I look at Paul's challenges, which were far greater than mine are, but have taken some pride that God believes that I can handle them (with his help, of course) and that I actually have the ability to be successful in them as well. That makes me happy.
I was writing an email message to a friend today and I wrote the words, "I am able to stay in Germany...". I know this is going to sound weird, but I looked at that sentence and was still just blown away by the fact that I am even here. 20 years being away from this place I love is like being 20 years away from family. God has planted Germany so deeply in my heart, it's super humbling to know that I am actually here. I say to my shame that it's become a little bit routine seeing the things that I see and doing the things I do every day. I have certainly learned a lot about myself, about trusting and having complete faith in God, but it's been a very hard-fought battle. But I've grown and have friends that help me to have perspective on what God has done for me and through me here. For that I'm incredibly grateful today.
The last few days have been especially tumultuous in my heart. Battling my demons, fatigue and physical pain in my body (I have slept 2 months on a very soft bed which is wreaking havoc on my back and neck mostly) on top of the emotional stress with my last bout with the Foreigners Authority, have left me very weary and exhausted both physically and mentally. Additionally, I currently live about an hour from pretty much everywhere I usually go and my living situation is relatively challenging, generally speaking.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am extremely grateful for the generosity of Thomas and Jared, but one thing about where I currently live is that it is fairly chaotic. I don't do well with chaos. At All. I don't want this to sound like a complaint, if anything it is more of a confession. I am very grateful to have a roof over my head, but the apartment where I live has undergone what seems to be a partial renovation (ie: unfinished) and the room I stay in is filled with my stuff and stuff that belongs to my flatmate. I am living out of suitcases and the room is generally chaotic and messy. So I do try to clean the apartment regularly, but usually doesn't last too long. I tend to do most if not all of the cleaning in the apartment (again, not a big deal because they are gracious enough to let me stay there free). The apartment building is also right in the final approaches to Tegel Airport, so planes are flying in and out, only about 500 feet above the house and they are quite loud. I've drowned out the sound by now a bit, but it is still another kind of "noise" in my mind.
I'm saying all this because I don't feel like home is the place of peace and rest I want (except to sleep). It's hard to get comfortable there and I think that has worn on me a bit over the past two months. I wanted to be open about these things as a bit of confession but also so that you understand a bit more what my life here is like.
I am supposed to move in about 40 hours and, as of now, I still don't even have the address of my new place. I have to be honest, this is starting to add more stress to an already busy and challenging week. I believe God is just seeing if I am going to trust him or if I am going to try to take control again. There's a very fine balance there somewhere that I am trying to figure out.
The other thing, and I mentioned this in one of my previous posts, I am struggling to know how to continue on with my job search. Do I continue to flood the market with applications to hotels, which, so far, has produced nothing but rejections? Should I do better with follow-up? Do I try something altogether different? If so, then what? Is there something more I can do in my relationship with God? How can I continue to keep my faith up after so many denials? How can I spend more time with God through all this, despite spending even more time getting around? I'm sure there are a thousand other possible questions I could ask, but I'll struggle with these few for now. I am, however, open to any input from any of you reading this blog... Please feel free to comment on here or send me an email or facebook me if you're my friend on there.
This morning, I got together with a brother and just had to get open. I'm really struggling with all of these things right now. I have tried to be so faithful during this whole process (and in many ways, have fallen way short). I have sacrificed, worked incredibly hard for incredibly long, and I still have not seen God bless the literally thousands, if not tens-of-thousands, of prayers that we have all prayed for my situation. I just don't understand this. As I sat with this brother this morning, I just opened up to him how much I am struggling with why God has not blessed all these prayers for a job, why he is allowing me to get so far behind on my bills that could have some very far reaching effects if they don't get taken care of soon, etc. He showed me the scripture that says that God will not give us anything we cannot handle. I looked at that verse and just broke down in tears. I told the brother, I'm not sure I believe that right now. He encouraged me and read me some other scriptures that brought me back around. We prayed together and I cried out to God for help and for that miracle I have been waiting and praying for.
The reality is that I see God doing some very specific things to give me hope, like having my residence permit extended, provided a roof over my head, food in my stomach and even the ability to buy some necessary winter clothing, etc. God has been incredibly giving to me and I just need to weather this storm, but I have to be careful to really let him be in control, not just to grit my teeth and power through. I want to be able to do it with peace.
Please pray for me to renew my confidence in God and for him to bless me with something very soon. My situation is getting serious and I really need to move forward. I think my new living situation will be very good for me, I'm looking forward to having a place to call "home", where I can hang out with someone who also has a spiritual mindset, maybe be able to read the Bible together, pray together or even just chill out and pop some popcorn and put in a movie, I really miss being able to do that. It's those little things we take for granted sometimes.
There are times that I think I must be crazy, then I remember what God has done to bring me to this point. Even in the Bible, faith doesn't always "make sense" in the traditional sense. The thing I'm realizing is that despite this, I am trying to balance being responsible and independent with being humble enough to ask for help. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life here. I want so desperately to be able to work again. I miss working (even though it's also been nice to have a break). I enjoy working and giving back to society.
I have been able to work a couple hours a week filling in for an English teacher/tutor at a small school. It's been really cool to work with pre-teen and teen students, helping them. What great kids! A few hours of work per week is great, but it is unfortunately not enough to live on. I'm very grateful to have the opportunity though, I've really enjoyed it.
I have to share one thing that happened to me today. At the library today, I was sharing with a woman I have known since shortly after I arrived here about how I am starting to feel a bit impatient. Something in the moment and the conversation made me laugh so hard. She said essentially that maybe God is just saying "Wait for it..... Wait for it......... BAM!" The way she said it and in the context of the conversation made me just about fall over laughing. I'm sure it'll be obvious when the "bam" moment has arrived.
In one of my very early posts after arriving here, I wrote about the dog in the woman's bicycle basket. The dog didn't know where it was going, it just knew it was with it's owner and settled down and didn't worry about what was going to happen next, to just enjoy the ride. I need to remember that even though I do have to do some work on my end, God is ultimately get me there safely. I need to just enjoy being with my heavenly dad and enjoy the time that I am having here.
I know one day I will look back at these posts with my 20/20 hindsight and be like, "Wow, look what God brought me through." For now, I battle on, trying to love and trust the greatest thing in the universe and to serve and love the people of Berlin.
I'm not sure what I want to name this post, but I'll share with you a little bit what's going on in my life, my mind and in my heart. I'll work on the title once I've finished putting down my thoughts here...
So, ever since I had my residence permit renewed on the 10th (Thank you, God!!), I have been feeling a lot of different things and I am not sure I have completely come to terms with what all this means. So this post is to help me sort through some of these issues. This is one of the things I love about writing, it's not only therapeutic, informational for you, but it helps me to sort out all the things that sometimes just seem to get jumbled up in my head so that I can have clear(er) direction in what needs to happen next.
First of all, I have noticed something in my character lately. This whole experience has been so amazing. I definitely feel like it has been such a gift from God. I'm so blown away with how he has blessed it, met my every need and given me incredible friendships in the relatively short time I have been here. The fact of the matter is that it has caused some pride in me. It has come out in conversations with people and even in posts on facebook. I'm sorry for that if I have treated any of you that way. I pray for your forgiveness.
I feel like God really believes in me, which is inconceivable to me.... But I look at my current situation and still have mixed feelings. In some ways I have compared my situation to those of some of those in the Bible. I look at Paul's challenges, which were far greater than mine are, but have taken some pride that God believes that I can handle them (with his help, of course) and that I actually have the ability to be successful in them as well. That makes me happy.
I was writing an email message to a friend today and I wrote the words, "I am able to stay in Germany...". I know this is going to sound weird, but I looked at that sentence and was still just blown away by the fact that I am even here. 20 years being away from this place I love is like being 20 years away from family. God has planted Germany so deeply in my heart, it's super humbling to know that I am actually here. I say to my shame that it's become a little bit routine seeing the things that I see and doing the things I do every day. I have certainly learned a lot about myself, about trusting and having complete faith in God, but it's been a very hard-fought battle. But I've grown and have friends that help me to have perspective on what God has done for me and through me here. For that I'm incredibly grateful today.
The last few days have been especially tumultuous in my heart. Battling my demons, fatigue and physical pain in my body (I have slept 2 months on a very soft bed which is wreaking havoc on my back and neck mostly) on top of the emotional stress with my last bout with the Foreigners Authority, have left me very weary and exhausted both physically and mentally. Additionally, I currently live about an hour from pretty much everywhere I usually go and my living situation is relatively challenging, generally speaking.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am extremely grateful for the generosity of Thomas and Jared, but one thing about where I currently live is that it is fairly chaotic. I don't do well with chaos. At All. I don't want this to sound like a complaint, if anything it is more of a confession. I am very grateful to have a roof over my head, but the apartment where I live has undergone what seems to be a partial renovation (ie: unfinished) and the room I stay in is filled with my stuff and stuff that belongs to my flatmate. I am living out of suitcases and the room is generally chaotic and messy. So I do try to clean the apartment regularly, but usually doesn't last too long. I tend to do most if not all of the cleaning in the apartment (again, not a big deal because they are gracious enough to let me stay there free). The apartment building is also right in the final approaches to Tegel Airport, so planes are flying in and out, only about 500 feet above the house and they are quite loud. I've drowned out the sound by now a bit, but it is still another kind of "noise" in my mind.
I'm saying all this because I don't feel like home is the place of peace and rest I want (except to sleep). It's hard to get comfortable there and I think that has worn on me a bit over the past two months. I wanted to be open about these things as a bit of confession but also so that you understand a bit more what my life here is like.
I am supposed to move in about 40 hours and, as of now, I still don't even have the address of my new place. I have to be honest, this is starting to add more stress to an already busy and challenging week. I believe God is just seeing if I am going to trust him or if I am going to try to take control again. There's a very fine balance there somewhere that I am trying to figure out.
The other thing, and I mentioned this in one of my previous posts, I am struggling to know how to continue on with my job search. Do I continue to flood the market with applications to hotels, which, so far, has produced nothing but rejections? Should I do better with follow-up? Do I try something altogether different? If so, then what? Is there something more I can do in my relationship with God? How can I continue to keep my faith up after so many denials? How can I spend more time with God through all this, despite spending even more time getting around? I'm sure there are a thousand other possible questions I could ask, but I'll struggle with these few for now. I am, however, open to any input from any of you reading this blog... Please feel free to comment on here or send me an email or facebook me if you're my friend on there.
This morning, I got together with a brother and just had to get open. I'm really struggling with all of these things right now. I have tried to be so faithful during this whole process (and in many ways, have fallen way short). I have sacrificed, worked incredibly hard for incredibly long, and I still have not seen God bless the literally thousands, if not tens-of-thousands, of prayers that we have all prayed for my situation. I just don't understand this. As I sat with this brother this morning, I just opened up to him how much I am struggling with why God has not blessed all these prayers for a job, why he is allowing me to get so far behind on my bills that could have some very far reaching effects if they don't get taken care of soon, etc. He showed me the scripture that says that God will not give us anything we cannot handle. I looked at that verse and just broke down in tears. I told the brother, I'm not sure I believe that right now. He encouraged me and read me some other scriptures that brought me back around. We prayed together and I cried out to God for help and for that miracle I have been waiting and praying for.
The reality is that I see God doing some very specific things to give me hope, like having my residence permit extended, provided a roof over my head, food in my stomach and even the ability to buy some necessary winter clothing, etc. God has been incredibly giving to me and I just need to weather this storm, but I have to be careful to really let him be in control, not just to grit my teeth and power through. I want to be able to do it with peace.
Please pray for me to renew my confidence in God and for him to bless me with something very soon. My situation is getting serious and I really need to move forward. I think my new living situation will be very good for me, I'm looking forward to having a place to call "home", where I can hang out with someone who also has a spiritual mindset, maybe be able to read the Bible together, pray together or even just chill out and pop some popcorn and put in a movie, I really miss being able to do that. It's those little things we take for granted sometimes.
There are times that I think I must be crazy, then I remember what God has done to bring me to this point. Even in the Bible, faith doesn't always "make sense" in the traditional sense. The thing I'm realizing is that despite this, I am trying to balance being responsible and independent with being humble enough to ask for help. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life here. I want so desperately to be able to work again. I miss working (even though it's also been nice to have a break). I enjoy working and giving back to society.
I have been able to work a couple hours a week filling in for an English teacher/tutor at a small school. It's been really cool to work with pre-teen and teen students, helping them. What great kids! A few hours of work per week is great, but it is unfortunately not enough to live on. I'm very grateful to have the opportunity though, I've really enjoyed it.
I have to share one thing that happened to me today. At the library today, I was sharing with a woman I have known since shortly after I arrived here about how I am starting to feel a bit impatient. Something in the moment and the conversation made me laugh so hard. She said essentially that maybe God is just saying "Wait for it..... Wait for it......... BAM!" The way she said it and in the context of the conversation made me just about fall over laughing. I'm sure it'll be obvious when the "bam" moment has arrived.
In one of my very early posts after arriving here, I wrote about the dog in the woman's bicycle basket. The dog didn't know where it was going, it just knew it was with it's owner and settled down and didn't worry about what was going to happen next, to just enjoy the ride. I need to remember that even though I do have to do some work on my end, God is ultimately get me there safely. I need to just enjoy being with my heavenly dad and enjoy the time that I am having here.
I know one day I will look back at these posts with my 20/20 hindsight and be like, "Wow, look what God brought me through." For now, I battle on, trying to love and trust the greatest thing in the universe and to serve and love the people of Berlin.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Here We Go Again!
I want to be known as a relational guy. I want to have deep positive friendships with people. I think God has blessed this in my life in a very significant way, but I am seeing that I definitely have some work to do here.... I am feeling the need to be resolved about some things in certain relationships. Nothing really huge, but who's to say that they won't become a big deal later. Nothing gets better by not dealing with it. So, I have decided to try to have a few conversations, a few of them where I just need to humble out and listen and see what I can do to smooth out situations from the past. God has put some interesting conversations and situations in my path lately, I believe as a test to see if I will deal with them. Either way, I think I'm ready, but it's hard and it's humbling. By the way, if you know me and have any issues with me, please let me know privately and confidentially and I would be happy to discuss with you.
So now comes the fun part in my new-found extended stay here in Germany: trying to figure out the best way to do the job search. I am trying to learn from the past what has worked and what has not. Are there any other areas I should be looking? (Please feel free to post a message with ideas for a multilingual person who is good in customer service, having worked in the insurance and hotel industries. I'm open for new ideas.
Today in that regard, I thought I had an interview on Nov 7, but it looks like they need confirmation of my work and residence permits and my German/European citizenship. Well, I guess I need to really hit those English schools and courses really hard this week. I have set my deadline as Nov. 25, which is only 31 days away! I could really use your prayers as I am feeling a bit discouraged about this development today.
It's also looking like I am moving this weekend or early next week. It looks like I will be moving a bit outside of Berlin to a small town called Eberswalde. A friend who is studying the Bible has generously offered to let me stay there for a while and I'm excited to get some time to have a roommate that is spiritually minded and interested in growing in his faith. I haven't been there yet, but I figured out that it is nearly 40 miles north of the center of the city. It's more expensive to get into town, but at least with the train, it's a quicker train with significantly fewer stops, so it shouldn't take much longer to get most places. There are some trade-offs, but overall I think this will be a good situation for me.
Also, I found out last night that someone I helped become a Christian back in 1995 in Seattle has gone missing. Please pray for his safety, his name is John.
Thanks for looking in on me, will keep you all updated on the latest happenings in this very eventful time in my life. Have a great weekend everyone!
So now comes the fun part in my new-found extended stay here in Germany: trying to figure out the best way to do the job search. I am trying to learn from the past what has worked and what has not. Are there any other areas I should be looking? (Please feel free to post a message with ideas for a multilingual person who is good in customer service, having worked in the insurance and hotel industries. I'm open for new ideas.
Today in that regard, I thought I had an interview on Nov 7, but it looks like they need confirmation of my work and residence permits and my German/European citizenship.
It's also looking like I am moving this weekend or early next week. It looks like I will be moving a bit outside of Berlin to a small town called Eberswalde. A friend who is studying the Bible has generously offered to let me stay there for a while and I'm excited to get some time to have a roommate that is spiritually minded and interested in growing in his faith. I haven't been there yet, but I figured out that it is nearly 40 miles north of the center of the city. It's more expensive to get into town, but at least with the train, it's a quicker train with significantly fewer stops, so it shouldn't take much longer to get most places. There are some trade-offs, but overall I think this will be a good situation for me.
Also, I found out last night that someone I helped become a Christian back in 1995 in Seattle has gone missing. Please pray for his safety, his name is John.
Thanks for looking in on me, will keep you all updated on the latest happenings in this very eventful time in my life. Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A Few Points and Another Soap Box Moment
So I am very excited because sometime in the past day or two, this blog reached 5,000 hits all-time! In the last 30 days, over 1,100 hits! Thanks everyone for your support!
Well, it's been a good day, got some laundry done (just couldn't wait any more to do it) and then headed to the library. Pretty normal day.
I was trying to get started with my job search and I got a call from a brother asking if I would like to do some tutoring tomorrow for some junior high and high-school-aged kids. I said that I would be interested. So I met him and got some information prepared for tutoring 2-90 minute classes tomorrow. This is just a one-day thing, but I'm grateful for an opportunity to work! That kinda made my day...
Also, I was confused last week because all of my electronic devices seem to go on the fritz here in Germany. Last week it was my very very very cheap $15 MP-3 player. I figured I had gotten a couple years use out of the thing, even though I really hadn't used it that much, but today it magically started working again. I'm not complaining! Kinda weird, huh? Okay, who was praying about my electronics? If you could also pray for my camera and video camera, too please! Thanks! LOL
So, I need to get on my soapbox for a minute (for those not familiar with this saying, it means I am about to share a strong opinion)... I wrote and posted this on my facebook wall tonight, and I would encourage you to read it and try to understand the heart behind it:
"It's really discouraging to constantly hear people say that Obama is to blame for everything these days. Whether you like him or not is not important because it takes a MAJORITY of Congress (Dems and Reps) to pass bills (like the new health plan), not just the President. My suggestion is if you don't like who is currently in power, find out how your representatives vote and vote them out if you don't like what they have done. WE voted them into power, so the responsibility lies with us. Americans need to understand that WE have the power in the country with our right to vote, not Congress. If you are not willing to research your representatives, you should not vote or complain about what is currently happening."
YOU absolutely have the power to remove these imbeciles from office and to change the system. I am frankly tired of hearing people complain (and there IS a ton of problems) about our current government, the system, and the people that claim to represent our interests. We need to warn our lawmakers that we intend to remove them if they don't start representing us. You have the right to call and write your representatives in Congress and let them know we will not put up with this nonsense any longer the next time they come up for re-election.
Have you researched your candidates? Have you met them? Have you looked at their records of how they voted? Have you looked at any of the bills they have supported or not? Me either... But it's time I started. We can no longer afford a government that is only looking for ways around the law, or to line their own pockets with our money or serve their own (or friends') interests. If you want to vote, you really need to do your homework. If you don't, you're allowing these men and women have their way with our lives and our money. I hope at the next election, you stand up and vote for someone who is not in the Washington DC mainstream. Write yourself in if you must, but there needs to be a "revolution" to be had in the voting booths. We just can't keep on like this. The people DO have the power, let's exercise it properly!
I'll step off my soap box now. Thanks for looking in on me. Please keep those prayers coming! Have a great week!!!
Well, it's been a good day, got some laundry done (just couldn't wait any more to do it) and then headed to the library. Pretty normal day.
I was trying to get started with my job search and I got a call from a brother asking if I would like to do some tutoring tomorrow for some junior high and high-school-aged kids. I said that I would be interested. So I met him and got some information prepared for tutoring 2-90 minute classes tomorrow. This is just a one-day thing, but I'm grateful for an opportunity to work! That kinda made my day...
Also, I was confused last week because all of my electronic devices seem to go on the fritz here in Germany. Last week it was my very very very cheap $15 MP-3 player. I figured I had gotten a couple years use out of the thing, even though I really hadn't used it that much, but today it magically started working again. I'm not complaining! Kinda weird, huh? Okay, who was praying about my electronics? If you could also pray for my camera and video camera, too please! Thanks! LOL
So, I need to get on my soapbox for a minute (for those not familiar with this saying, it means I am about to share a strong opinion)... I wrote and posted this on my facebook wall tonight, and I would encourage you to read it and try to understand the heart behind it:
"It's really discouraging to constantly hear people say that Obama is to blame for everything these days. Whether you like him or not is not important because it takes a MAJORITY of Congress (Dems and Reps) to pass bills (like the new health plan), not just the President. My suggestion is if you don't like who is currently in power, find out how your representatives vote and vote them out if you don't like what they have done. WE voted them into power, so the responsibility lies with us. Americans need to understand that WE have the power in the country with our right to vote, not Congress. If you are not willing to research your representatives, you should not vote or complain about what is currently happening."
YOU absolutely have the power to remove these imbeciles from office and to change the system. I am frankly tired of hearing people complain (and there IS a ton of problems) about our current government, the system, and the people that claim to represent our interests. We need to warn our lawmakers that we intend to remove them if they don't start representing us. You have the right to call and write your representatives in Congress and let them know we will not put up with this nonsense any longer the next time they come up for re-election.
Have you researched your candidates? Have you met them? Have you looked at their records of how they voted? Have you looked at any of the bills they have supported or not? Me either... But it's time I started. We can no longer afford a government that is only looking for ways around the law, or to line their own pockets with our money or serve their own (or friends') interests. If you want to vote, you really need to do your homework. If you don't, you're allowing these men and women have their way with our lives and our money. I hope at the next election, you stand up and vote for someone who is not in the Washington DC mainstream. Write yourself in if you must, but there needs to be a "revolution" to be had in the voting booths. We just can't keep on like this. The people DO have the power, let's exercise it properly!
I'll step off my soap box now. Thanks for looking in on me. Please keep those prayers coming! Have a great week!!!