Hey all! Thank you for joining me for another blog post. Tonight I come to you from Spokane, WA. I am in my house and for the first time in about 4 1/2 years, since I left for Germany, it’s empty. It’s kind of surreal being here again.
My tenants moved out just over a month ago, and I had to come back this weekend to fix some things at the house, that the buyer wants me to fix. So, I saw this as a great opportunity to spend one more night in my house. I was not excited about having to come back across the mountains in December to do these repairs, but at this point I feel very motivated to do whatever I can to get the house sold and to just kind of move on.
If I’m really honest with myself, I really wanted to see the house since it was painted about a month and a half ago. I also was really encouraged to be able to spend at least one more night here. I’m going to try to head back to Seattle tomorrow, Saturday, but I see that there’s a few things that really need to be handled while I’m here. So it looks like I may be heading back Sunday after all. Not my ideal situation, but oh well. I feel the need to make the most of this opportunity and will see how it goes. I’ll keep everyone updated on the progress. I’ll also try to post some pictures.
I also have to share that I got the chance to spend time with John and Megan on my way to Spokane this evening. I love those guys so much. There are a few people in my life that have loved me as unconditionally and consistently as John has. John is the one who taught me how to truly love people. My mom was also an incredible example of this, but John has really been there for me, even at my very very worst. Then again, my mom has probably had to endure way worse. Ha ha!
I called John from about 5 miles away and not only were they very eager to see me, but is soon as I walked in I was welcomed just like I was family. Just like I always am when I go to their house. I was immediately offered hugs and then immediately thereafter, food and beverages. It doesn’t get any more family than that. If you guys are reading this, just wanted to say how much I appreciate you, and how much I love you guys.
Also I’m super grateful to God for giving me a safe trip over here. When I left Bellevue, it was raining like crazy. But I have been praying about it, and I kept an eye on the weather and it looked like it was going to be OK to get over the pass. It was actually pretty amazing. The pass waa almost completely clear, although it was snowing just a little bit. But for the vast majority of the trip the roads were completely dry.! I did hit a fair amount of dense fog, but only for about 20 miles or so. Overall, it’s about the best you can hope for for the beginning of December. I hope the trip home is this good!
So I guess I had better start heading to bed here soon. One nice thing is that I can do my laundry here at all times of the night, not having to worry about waking anybody else up. It’s also free! At home in Seattle, we have a laundry room that shared with three apartments, and you have to pay for it. So this is kind of a nice treat.
So I had better sign off for now, I’ll try to update again tomorrow Have a great weekend!
Friday, December 1, 2017
Monday, September 4, 2017
Laborious, PRODUCTIVE and Poignant Weekend
Happy Labor Day!
Well my weekend sure lived up to it's name: lots of LABOR in the heat and smoke of Spokane! Despite temperatures well into the 90's (32-36C), I was able to get my storage cleaned out and some other things done around the house. It went relatively smoothly thanks to the incredible help of Ryan G! Thank you brother, I am so grateful for you! Also, I can't thank the Baldwins enough for letting me stay at their house! You guys are so amazing! All of you helped me more than you will ever know! Thank you doesn't even come close, but THANK YOU!!!!
So there were some really poignant moments this weekend that, frankly, took me off guard. I donated a lot of furniture, but there was a lot of stuff that also needed to go to the dump. But once we got he majority of stuff out of the garage, I sat down to rest for a moment and I was just kind of looking around the garage. All of the sudden, all of the memories just came rushing back...
In 2005 and 2006, I rebuilt that garage. I tore down 3 walls and the roof and completely replaced them. I even installed a 4" x 4" steel I-beam (that will be there long after the rest of the garage has collapsed! It's VERY solid. A little over-built, you might say!)
So as I sat there recalling how I re-built it with my own hands, I took pride that even though one was is not exactly straight (at all!), I still take great pride in finishing the first such major project I had ever undertaken. And I started to get a little bit emotional. When you've invested yourself fully into something, it's hard to let it go. It's kind of the end of an era of my life, but this opportunity will hopefully allow me to start another incredible journey! Oddly enough, I feel more proud of accomplishing this project than even my dining room renovation. And I'm super proud of that project, especially because I survived it! 😁
Another interesting thing happened to me Sunday morning (yesterday). In my "Memories" page on facebook, there was a video I had posted back in 2012 celebrating the 10th anniversary of our planting the mission team in Spokane. Now when I left the city 4 1/2 years ago, I was very ready to leave the city for a lot of reasons. I don't feel like I was running away, but I WAS feeling burnt out and God had obviously given me a dream opportunity to go back to Germany. Even coming back in September 2014 for the first time in 18 months later was very painful.
But that 15-minute video reminded me of the reason I moved to Spokane to begin with. It's about people: all my friends that I was in the battle with for more than a decade of my life. So many happy, joyous moments came flooding back once more as I re-lived that glorious 10-year chunk of my life that I no associate with pain, but now conjures up tremendous pride. It was the good and happy times spent with them, and serving them in my home and being in the spiritual battle together. It reminded me of the countless game nights, the meals together, but also the baptisms, the parties, the park services, etc. etc. etc.
God has definitely put me in such a different place the past few years. He's reminding me that it is, and has always been, about the love we have for people. Not stuff. A piece of me is with each one of them, and a piece of every one of them makes up who I am today, and will always be a part of the person I will always be. That is the beauty of relationships that cannot ever be replaced, purchased or forgotten. Incredible, isn't it? I'm so blown away by this revelation.
And finally, something else occurred to me this weekend. There is a possibility that this trip to Spokane may be the last one for me for a while. When I realized this, I took pause because it's just too easy to be "busy". But when you really want to take in that moment, to savor it, then you have to find time with other people.
I was so encouraged to get to spend some time with my very lovely 93-year-old neighbor Alice and her daughter Cheryl. I love those guys so much. Over the last 13 years, they have become like family to me. They helped me figure things out when I was a brand new homeowner in 2004 and ever since have not failed to load me up with fresh tomatoes, zucchini, rhubarb, peppers, etc. from their garden! They have shared their life with me and that is of immeasurable value! They have become family to me. They are amazing. And even though it wasn't good-bye, it was still poignant and incredibly special. These are the times I will cherish.
So after much traveling, hard work, hot temperatures, and smoky air, I made it back to Seattle today in time for our church's picnic. Fun, food, water balloons, and general mayhem ensued! But after 4 days on the go, it's time for a little rest. Thank you for letting me share with you tonight. My heart is full and satisfied in the life and incredible friendships I've been given. I'm so excited for my future and to see what God does in the next weeks and months. I'm beyond blessed and ready for whatever is next.
Tomorrow my house officially goes on the market. If you have the ability, prayers and good thoughts for a quick sale at the price I am praying for would be much appreciated. Thank you!
I love you all, thank you that you have cared enough to spend some time with me tonight (even though I don't know it! Ha! Still amazing though!)
Well my weekend sure lived up to it's name: lots of LABOR in the heat and smoke of Spokane! Despite temperatures well into the 90's (32-36C), I was able to get my storage cleaned out and some other things done around the house. It went relatively smoothly thanks to the incredible help of Ryan G! Thank you brother, I am so grateful for you! Also, I can't thank the Baldwins enough for letting me stay at their house! You guys are so amazing! All of you helped me more than you will ever know! Thank you doesn't even come close, but THANK YOU!!!!
So there were some really poignant moments this weekend that, frankly, took me off guard. I donated a lot of furniture, but there was a lot of stuff that also needed to go to the dump. But once we got he majority of stuff out of the garage, I sat down to rest for a moment and I was just kind of looking around the garage. All of the sudden, all of the memories just came rushing back...
In 2005 and 2006, I rebuilt that garage. I tore down 3 walls and the roof and completely replaced them. I even installed a 4" x 4" steel I-beam (that will be there long after the rest of the garage has collapsed! It's VERY solid. A little over-built, you might say!)
So as I sat there recalling how I re-built it with my own hands, I took pride that even though one was is not exactly straight (at all!), I still take great pride in finishing the first such major project I had ever undertaken. And I started to get a little bit emotional. When you've invested yourself fully into something, it's hard to let it go. It's kind of the end of an era of my life, but this opportunity will hopefully allow me to start another incredible journey! Oddly enough, I feel more proud of accomplishing this project than even my dining room renovation. And I'm super proud of that project, especially because I survived it! 😁
Another interesting thing happened to me Sunday morning (yesterday). In my "Memories" page on facebook, there was a video I had posted back in 2012 celebrating the 10th anniversary of our planting the mission team in Spokane. Now when I left the city 4 1/2 years ago, I was very ready to leave the city for a lot of reasons. I don't feel like I was running away, but I WAS feeling burnt out and God had obviously given me a dream opportunity to go back to Germany. Even coming back in September 2014 for the first time in 18 months later was very painful.
But that 15-minute video reminded me of the reason I moved to Spokane to begin with. It's about people: all my friends that I was in the battle with for more than a decade of my life. So many happy, joyous moments came flooding back once more as I re-lived that glorious 10-year chunk of my life that I no associate with pain, but now conjures up tremendous pride. It was the good and happy times spent with them, and serving them in my home and being in the spiritual battle together. It reminded me of the countless game nights, the meals together, but also the baptisms, the parties, the park services, etc. etc. etc.
God has definitely put me in such a different place the past few years. He's reminding me that it is, and has always been, about the love we have for people. Not stuff. A piece of me is with each one of them, and a piece of every one of them makes up who I am today, and will always be a part of the person I will always be. That is the beauty of relationships that cannot ever be replaced, purchased or forgotten. Incredible, isn't it? I'm so blown away by this revelation.
And finally, something else occurred to me this weekend. There is a possibility that this trip to Spokane may be the last one for me for a while. When I realized this, I took pause because it's just too easy to be "busy". But when you really want to take in that moment, to savor it, then you have to find time with other people.
I was so encouraged to get to spend some time with my very lovely 93-year-old neighbor Alice and her daughter Cheryl. I love those guys so much. Over the last 13 years, they have become like family to me. They helped me figure things out when I was a brand new homeowner in 2004 and ever since have not failed to load me up with fresh tomatoes, zucchini, rhubarb, peppers, etc. from their garden! They have shared their life with me and that is of immeasurable value! They have become family to me. They are amazing. And even though it wasn't good-bye, it was still poignant and incredibly special. These are the times I will cherish.
So after much traveling, hard work, hot temperatures, and smoky air, I made it back to Seattle today in time for our church's picnic. Fun, food, water balloons, and general mayhem ensued! But after 4 days on the go, it's time for a little rest. Thank you for letting me share with you tonight. My heart is full and satisfied in the life and incredible friendships I've been given. I'm so excited for my future and to see what God does in the next weeks and months. I'm beyond blessed and ready for whatever is next.
Tomorrow my house officially goes on the market. If you have the ability, prayers and good thoughts for a quick sale at the price I am praying for would be much appreciated. Thank you!
I love you all, thank you that you have cared enough to spend some time with me tonight (even though I don't know it! Ha! Still amazing though!)
 |
| I may have had something to do with Adrian getting wet at the picnic today. |
Monday, August 14, 2017
Smokey Seattle, Smokey Spokane, Dusty Tim, but PROGRESS!
Hey everyone!
Well the last two weeks have truly been a whirlwind of activity: traveling, planning, spending money, cleaning, and breathing in lots and lots and lots of smoke! I'll get to that in a minute....
I mentioned in my last post that I decided a couple of months ago to sell my house in Spokane and get rid of all the stuff that is holding me back from living the life I really dream of. So two weeks ago I began to plan in earnest my cleanup of the property and clean-out of my storage.
For the first time I can ever recall in a total of 15 years of living in the Seattle area, we had a really terrible smoke problem. The smoke was coming from forest fires in Canada, hundreds of miles away! It hung around for a few days and it was very depressing and unpleasant. I was hoping when I left on Friday afternoon (Aug. 4) that it would get better by the time I got to Spokane.
Unfortunately I was incorrect....
In fact, the smoke kept up from Seattle, all the way across the state, almost 300 miles (500 km!). It was also 95 F (36 C) for pretty much the whole weekend. It was hot, dry, dusty AND very smokey!! But despite being unpleasant, it was a productive weekend! I didn't get everything done that I needed, but now I have a good idea of what I do need to do. Still a lot to do, but I'm just praying for God to intervene to make it a bit more do-able.
Unbelievably, by Monday (the hottest day of the weekend: 97F/37C), I was actually starting to get used to it a bit. Maybe it was the fan that I brought to keep me cooler in the garage, but I did much better! I cleaned up the yard, garage and loaded up the car to head back to Seattle.
As I did not have any extra vacation time to burn, my managers very generously allowed me to work 4 - 10 hour shifts Tuesday through Friday last week. Let's just say God helped me get through the planning phase, work phase, and the long hours for the rest of the week in good condition! Super grateful for that grace! However, when I got home on Friday night, my body was done, exhausted!
So after about 10 days of what seemed like constant activity, my body just kind of shut down. I guess I needed some rest! But Saturday came and I was back to my busy self again....
Even more amazingly, that weekend really helped me to have so much more energy. Since Saturday I have just been working diligently on organizing, getting rid of stuff and just generally getting my act together. I am very much making up for a lot of lost time in the past 9 months or so when I was too exhausted to do much of anything. It still takes a bit of motivation, but when I get started, I do pretty well. Thank you God!
Another funny thing has happened lately. I updated my resume and put one of the places I was looking for work was London, but I was still listed as being in Seattle. So I have been getting a TON of solicitations for work in Seattle. I finally stopped answering them because there are just too many to respond to. I love my job here, so I am not ready to make a move here.... So, I put myself in London on career websites. Hopefully that will take care of all the solicitations (except the ones I am looking for)!
Well, that is about it for now. Still so much to do in preparation for selling the house, please send prayers and good thoughts for the sale of my home. Kind of looking for a bit of a miracle as the house and one garage do need to be completely painted, not sure how I'm going to come up with those funds as there will likely be some lead paint disposal involved. Oy...
Anyway, thanks for looking in on me. Hope you all have a great week and I'll continue to update as i have time, news and energy to write! Love you guys!
Well the last two weeks have truly been a whirlwind of activity: traveling, planning, spending money, cleaning, and breathing in lots and lots and lots of smoke! I'll get to that in a minute....
I mentioned in my last post that I decided a couple of months ago to sell my house in Spokane and get rid of all the stuff that is holding me back from living the life I really dream of. So two weeks ago I began to plan in earnest my cleanup of the property and clean-out of my storage.
For the first time I can ever recall in a total of 15 years of living in the Seattle area, we had a really terrible smoke problem. The smoke was coming from forest fires in Canada, hundreds of miles away! It hung around for a few days and it was very depressing and unpleasant. I was hoping when I left on Friday afternoon (Aug. 4) that it would get better by the time I got to Spokane.
Unfortunately I was incorrect....
In fact, the smoke kept up from Seattle, all the way across the state, almost 300 miles (500 km!). It was also 95 F (36 C) for pretty much the whole weekend. It was hot, dry, dusty AND very smokey!! But despite being unpleasant, it was a productive weekend! I didn't get everything done that I needed, but now I have a good idea of what I do need to do. Still a lot to do, but I'm just praying for God to intervene to make it a bit more do-able.
 | |
| Same Picture of Spokane: day I arrived (Aug 4th) and Aug. 13 Photo by Young Kwak |
Unbelievably, by Monday (the hottest day of the weekend: 97F/37C), I was actually starting to get used to it a bit. Maybe it was the fan that I brought to keep me cooler in the garage, but I did much better! I cleaned up the yard, garage and loaded up the car to head back to Seattle.
As I did not have any extra vacation time to burn, my managers very generously allowed me to work 4 - 10 hour shifts Tuesday through Friday last week. Let's just say God helped me get through the planning phase, work phase, and the long hours for the rest of the week in good condition! Super grateful for that grace! However, when I got home on Friday night, my body was done, exhausted!
So after about 10 days of what seemed like constant activity, my body just kind of shut down. I guess I needed some rest! But Saturday came and I was back to my busy self again....
Even more amazingly, that weekend really helped me to have so much more energy. Since Saturday I have just been working diligently on organizing, getting rid of stuff and just generally getting my act together. I am very much making up for a lot of lost time in the past 9 months or so when I was too exhausted to do much of anything. It still takes a bit of motivation, but when I get started, I do pretty well. Thank you God!
Another funny thing has happened lately. I updated my resume and put one of the places I was looking for work was London, but I was still listed as being in Seattle. So I have been getting a TON of solicitations for work in Seattle. I finally stopped answering them because there are just too many to respond to. I love my job here, so I am not ready to make a move here.... So, I put myself in London on career websites. Hopefully that will take care of all the solicitations (except the ones I am looking for)!
Well, that is about it for now. Still so much to do in preparation for selling the house, please send prayers and good thoughts for the sale of my home. Kind of looking for a bit of a miracle as the house and one garage do need to be completely painted, not sure how I'm going to come up with those funds as there will likely be some lead paint disposal involved. Oy...
Anyway, thanks for looking in on me. Hope you all have a great week and I'll continue to update as i have time, news and energy to write! Love you guys!
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Fast Wrap-Up and Hope for an Incredible Opportunity?
Good evening! Thank you for another rousing chapter of "What's Up with Tim?"!
So, just a little follow up on my weight loss and health saga... After being on solid food for about a week now, I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed because I've gained back a few more pounds than I wanted. I think I'm at a net weight loss of about 25 pounds, but not 100% sure, it could be less. The cravings have subsided a bit more so hopefully my body becomes less and less ravenous.
Either way, I'm trying to be careful to not go overboard... Just wanted to be open about how things have been going. Gotta be honest, it's been a bit discouraging. I'm just trying to remember how much progress I have made, and not focus on the temporary backslide as my body readjusts....
So, funny story. I've lamented over the last month about how much I have missed pizza. Well, come to find out, it looks like I have a legitimate gluten intolerance. After having a few pieces of pizza yesterday at work, courtesy of our managers (thank you!!), let's just say I was not feeling very well yesterday at all. I'll leave it at that. Lesson learned, and since my craving for pizza has actually diminished, I don't feel the need for it now... Weird, huh? Oh well, that's a good thing.
Also, on an even more bizarre note, I actually crave things like salad now. I mean really.... salad? Me, the carnivore? I'm pretty shocked and amazed... in a very good way!! So I actually went out and bought fixins for a salad (with some chicken) which I plan to enjoy thoroughly.... Tonight I went out and had a Yelp Elite event where I went to my first ramen restaurant. And even though I am not a fan of soup, I was shocked how good it was. S.H.O.C.K.E.D.!! Made by a chef that was taught by a master ramen chef. Who knew such a thing existed? It was amazing....
-----------------------------------------------------------
So I want to share something. I have a feeling it's going to be a bit long-winded, but I promise you, I'm going somewhere with it, so bear with me as I share some very deep and personal things from my heart.
Since I have returned from Germany, life has been extremely challenging. At the time, life was just very overwhelming to me. There were always multiple things that seemed to constantly knock me down and try to discourage me. Often times I would turn to God for healing and strength, but more and more, I turned inward.
For a lot of years (even before moving to Germany in 2013), I was just in survival mode. The challenges were large and they were too much for me to bear myself. However, in my sinful nature, too often I would not take them to God. To my shame, I have to admit that the longer the challenges persisted, the more I relied on my own strength.
This was a perfect opportunity for Satan to start acting in my life and my heart and to draw me into sinful behavior that slowly, incrementally, pulled me away from others and ultimately from God. My lowest point was in May 2016. I was trying to buy a newer car to replace my '86 Toyota that was beginning to have a lot of problems. But everything went wrong on the deal.
To make a long story short, the deal finally went through after a ridiculous number of text messages, time and effort spent, and far too much stressing about it. One night at the apex of my frustration, I ended up yelling at God at the top of my voice while driving down the street, "demanding" that something needed to break. I just couldn't handle any more.
The reality was that my relationships in my church had nearly completely dried up. Despite pouring myself out to get time with people, and having very few friendships to show for it, I had an opportunity to make some badly needed changes.
I'm so grateful for Jermaine Peacock. He led the church in Spokane for the last few years while I was living there and in June 2016 he had posted that he was going to be in town (just a few weeks after I cried out to God). At the time I was not aware of why he was going to be in town until that Saturday when he posted that there was going to be a church planting of the International Christian Church movement.
I was so excited because I had wondered if they had a church here! Although I had heard some not-so-encouraging things, I decided not to listen to hearsay/gossip, but I decided to look into it for myself. I was so discouraged by this point, I figured I didn't have anything to lose by going. Despite this, I did still go with significant trepidation.
But the good news was that it was so refreshing! It was so much like the church that I had been baptized into back in 1993. It felt weird at first, but the more I learned, the more it fit perfectly with my own convictions!
But even though the move to the new church was kind of a no-brainer, it was still very difficult to leave the very church (and the relationships) that I had been a part of for over half my natural life. I had to acknowledge the possibility that most people would not understand. I knew that I stood to lose a lot of close friends because of perceptions of this church. But a renewed relationship with God was the goal here, and my relationship with God was revitalized.
Despite being actively involved in my previous congregation for many years, I never felt my true talents were valued there. I acknowledge that I could be wrong, but that's how I felt. As a result of some sin that I had been involved in, I was restored when I joined the church. But it was well worth it!
Not surprisingly, in the year since then, Satan threw everything but the kitchen sink at me: Constant and significant illness, discouragement, financial problems, relationship issues, etc. etc. etc. And all of the sudden I was super weak physically and spiritually again.
I was struggling so much and Satan kept throwing curve ball after curve ball at me. I say to my shame, once again, I allowed myself to be in sin again, feeling totally weak and utterly hopeless. In April, I was asked to stop coming to church for a while until I could work out these issues and start loving God again, instead of myself.
And that's when I decided to do the juice fast: to gain my health back and start rebuilding my relationship with God. I was so physically weak before the fast that I could no longer trust myself to make good decisions because I just wasn't thinking clearly. I literally locked myself in my room until I started to get healthy again, which has only been in the last few weeks.
Thankfully, and by the grace of God, I was once again restored to the fellowship on July 23! I'm embarrassed to say that that was the 4th time I had left God in my heart to the point where I had to be restored to him and to the fellowship. But my heart is in such a different place now, and it feels like God is blessing the changes he has allowed me to make in my heart and in my daily life. I still have a lot to learn and grow in, but my heart is nowhere near where it was just two months ago! To God be the glory!
So this is why I shared this: God is moving in an area of my life that I am absolutely, completely, and totally over the moon about. A few weeks ago, I got a message from a leader in our church in London. For the past year, he has been aware of the fact that my heart has been to return to Germany. It's likely that this leader will be sending out the church to Berlin next year and they have encouraged me to try to find a way to move to London as soon as I am able to get training.
This is what I was trying to share on July 17th in my facebook post: "Be still my heart. I hope this is an open door for me. My heart might just explode..."
There is so much that would need to happen for me to be able to do this. I am currently preparing to sell my house in Spokane. If I am able to sell it for a certain amount, I should be able to pay off all my debt, go to school for about 6 months to get my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Certificate and prayerfully be able to return to Berlin next year. Having this certificate in hand would help me immensely in finding work in Berlin. It's my best shot actually. I didn't know that before going over in 2013.
So I hate to ask for more prayers, but I'm asking God for my house to sell for $128,000. With this, I would be able to move to London, go to school for about 6 months to get my TEFL. Please pray for me to be able to take care of everything I need to this weekend when I go to work on my house in Spokane so that it can be put on the market next week. Please also pray (I hate asking so much) for cool weather. The forecast s calling for almost 100 degree weather (38 C).
I'm so excited for this time. God has been so merciful and patient with me. I truly don't deserve him! Thank you for reading this blog post to the end. I know it was long, but there was no way to say the things I wanted to say in a short space. I'm so thankful that you were willing to persevere through the long text. Thank you! And thank you for your friendship and support!
Good night and stay cool this week while Seattle heats up! Would love to hear your thoughts and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions! My email address is timmorse@outlook.com.
Thanks!!
So, just a little follow up on my weight loss and health saga... After being on solid food for about a week now, I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed because I've gained back a few more pounds than I wanted. I think I'm at a net weight loss of about 25 pounds, but not 100% sure, it could be less. The cravings have subsided a bit more so hopefully my body becomes less and less ravenous.
Either way, I'm trying to be careful to not go overboard... Just wanted to be open about how things have been going. Gotta be honest, it's been a bit discouraging. I'm just trying to remember how much progress I have made, and not focus on the temporary backslide as my body readjusts....
So, funny story. I've lamented over the last month about how much I have missed pizza. Well, come to find out, it looks like I have a legitimate gluten intolerance. After having a few pieces of pizza yesterday at work, courtesy of our managers (thank you!!), let's just say I was not feeling very well yesterday at all. I'll leave it at that. Lesson learned, and since my craving for pizza has actually diminished, I don't feel the need for it now... Weird, huh? Oh well, that's a good thing.
Also, on an even more bizarre note, I actually crave things like salad now. I mean really.... salad? Me, the carnivore? I'm pretty shocked and amazed... in a very good way!! So I actually went out and bought fixins for a salad (with some chicken) which I plan to enjoy thoroughly.... Tonight I went out and had a Yelp Elite event where I went to my first ramen restaurant. And even though I am not a fan of soup, I was shocked how good it was. S.H.O.C.K.E.D.!! Made by a chef that was taught by a master ramen chef. Who knew such a thing existed? It was amazing....
So I want to share something. I have a feeling it's going to be a bit long-winded, but I promise you, I'm going somewhere with it, so bear with me as I share some very deep and personal things from my heart.
Since I have returned from Germany, life has been extremely challenging. At the time, life was just very overwhelming to me. There were always multiple things that seemed to constantly knock me down and try to discourage me. Often times I would turn to God for healing and strength, but more and more, I turned inward.
For a lot of years (even before moving to Germany in 2013), I was just in survival mode. The challenges were large and they were too much for me to bear myself. However, in my sinful nature, too often I would not take them to God. To my shame, I have to admit that the longer the challenges persisted, the more I relied on my own strength.
This was a perfect opportunity for Satan to start acting in my life and my heart and to draw me into sinful behavior that slowly, incrementally, pulled me away from others and ultimately from God. My lowest point was in May 2016. I was trying to buy a newer car to replace my '86 Toyota that was beginning to have a lot of problems. But everything went wrong on the deal.
To make a long story short, the deal finally went through after a ridiculous number of text messages, time and effort spent, and far too much stressing about it. One night at the apex of my frustration, I ended up yelling at God at the top of my voice while driving down the street, "demanding" that something needed to break. I just couldn't handle any more.
The reality was that my relationships in my church had nearly completely dried up. Despite pouring myself out to get time with people, and having very few friendships to show for it, I had an opportunity to make some badly needed changes.
I'm so grateful for Jermaine Peacock. He led the church in Spokane for the last few years while I was living there and in June 2016 he had posted that he was going to be in town (just a few weeks after I cried out to God). At the time I was not aware of why he was going to be in town until that Saturday when he posted that there was going to be a church planting of the International Christian Church movement.
I was so excited because I had wondered if they had a church here! Although I had heard some not-so-encouraging things, I decided not to listen to hearsay/gossip, but I decided to look into it for myself. I was so discouraged by this point, I figured I didn't have anything to lose by going. Despite this, I did still go with significant trepidation.
But the good news was that it was so refreshing! It was so much like the church that I had been baptized into back in 1993. It felt weird at first, but the more I learned, the more it fit perfectly with my own convictions!
But even though the move to the new church was kind of a no-brainer, it was still very difficult to leave the very church (and the relationships) that I had been a part of for over half my natural life. I had to acknowledge the possibility that most people would not understand. I knew that I stood to lose a lot of close friends because of perceptions of this church. But a renewed relationship with God was the goal here, and my relationship with God was revitalized.
Despite being actively involved in my previous congregation for many years, I never felt my true talents were valued there. I acknowledge that I could be wrong, but that's how I felt. As a result of some sin that I had been involved in, I was restored when I joined the church. But it was well worth it!
Not surprisingly, in the year since then, Satan threw everything but the kitchen sink at me: Constant and significant illness, discouragement, financial problems, relationship issues, etc. etc. etc. And all of the sudden I was super weak physically and spiritually again.
I was struggling so much and Satan kept throwing curve ball after curve ball at me. I say to my shame, once again, I allowed myself to be in sin again, feeling totally weak and utterly hopeless. In April, I was asked to stop coming to church for a while until I could work out these issues and start loving God again, instead of myself.
And that's when I decided to do the juice fast: to gain my health back and start rebuilding my relationship with God. I was so physically weak before the fast that I could no longer trust myself to make good decisions because I just wasn't thinking clearly. I literally locked myself in my room until I started to get healthy again, which has only been in the last few weeks.
Thankfully, and by the grace of God, I was once again restored to the fellowship on July 23! I'm embarrassed to say that that was the 4th time I had left God in my heart to the point where I had to be restored to him and to the fellowship. But my heart is in such a different place now, and it feels like God is blessing the changes he has allowed me to make in my heart and in my daily life. I still have a lot to learn and grow in, but my heart is nowhere near where it was just two months ago! To God be the glory!
So this is why I shared this: God is moving in an area of my life that I am absolutely, completely, and totally over the moon about. A few weeks ago, I got a message from a leader in our church in London. For the past year, he has been aware of the fact that my heart has been to return to Germany. It's likely that this leader will be sending out the church to Berlin next year and they have encouraged me to try to find a way to move to London as soon as I am able to get training.
This is what I was trying to share on July 17th in my facebook post: "Be still my heart. I hope this is an open door for me. My heart might just explode..."
There is so much that would need to happen for me to be able to do this. I am currently preparing to sell my house in Spokane. If I am able to sell it for a certain amount, I should be able to pay off all my debt, go to school for about 6 months to get my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Certificate and prayerfully be able to return to Berlin next year. Having this certificate in hand would help me immensely in finding work in Berlin. It's my best shot actually. I didn't know that before going over in 2013.
So I hate to ask for more prayers, but I'm asking God for my house to sell for $128,000. With this, I would be able to move to London, go to school for about 6 months to get my TEFL. Please pray for me to be able to take care of everything I need to this weekend when I go to work on my house in Spokane so that it can be put on the market next week. Please also pray (I hate asking so much) for cool weather. The forecast s calling for almost 100 degree weather (38 C).
I'm so excited for this time. God has been so merciful and patient with me. I truly don't deserve him! Thank you for reading this blog post to the end. I know it was long, but there was no way to say the things I wanted to say in a short space. I'm so thankful that you were willing to persevere through the long text. Thank you! And thank you for your friendship and support!
Good night and stay cool this week while Seattle heats up! Would love to hear your thoughts and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions! My email address is timmorse@outlook.com.
Thanks!!
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Day 30 - My Fast is Ending, And Other Surprising Revelations....
I can't believe I've finally made it to Day 30!! I just read my post from June 29th and wow, it's crazy that I've made it 30 days! Well, almost. But that's okay, in fact, it's still great. It's an amazing feat! One that I could have never imagined that I would embark on, and one that I would not only be successful with, but one that God was so obviously made it successful! Way more than I could have ever envisioned. Seriously, this was never a thought in my mind.... And yet here I stand!
So, about a week and a half ago, I started looking into getting a nutritionist. Since I just didn't have enough money to put toward the 30-day online group (at a whopping $289!), I thought that I should at least get a nutritionist to help me to learn how to re-introduce solid food to my body. Some pretty major changes had happened in my digestive system (all of them exceptionally good as near as I can tell), that I should probably seek the advice of a professional. And I even listened!
So last Sunday I went to the nutritionist. It was Day 24. In the preceding days, my body had been not doing well. I was very tired and quite irritable and I frankly was getting really sick of the juice. Now I consider all of those things pretty normal. But one thing stuck out to me as not being normal. I was really craving food very strongly. According to the things I had heard on this plan was that I shouldn't be hungry like this. Well every time I saw food, it was actually getting harder, not easier! I didn't think I was going to make it another 6 days. I was really struggling....
So I shared all of this with my nutritionist and she said that my body just needed some protein, so she suggested, starting that evening, to incorporate about one ounce of chicken while I was drinking my juice. So I cooked up a seasoned chicken breast, slightly seared, and as instructed, ate small bites, chewing each bite thoroughly. It was absolutely heavenly! I probably ate more than one ounce (possibly about 2 ounces) and I almost immediately began to feel better!
The next day, Day 25, I was told I could double the recommended amount of chicken to two ounces. I probably ate about 5 ounces. Maybe six. It was exquisite, even warmed up! So, from there, I still continued to drink my juice, but slowly began to add more food. By Wednesday, she said I could make some soup, with chicken and well-cooked (soft) vegetables and rice. But no wheat, as I believe that I have gluten sensitivity. Once again, it was amazing!
So, basically what has happened is that my fast technically ended on Day 25, or even Day 24 if you want to include the first small amount of chicken I had. But despite this, I believe this was the best for my health. Now, when I started to re-introduce solid food to my diet, my temptation is to say "Well, I didn't make the 30 days." But the reality is that I didn't eat any solid food for TWENTY-FOUR days!
That by itself is such a huge accomplishment for me. I'm so excited that God kept me strong through pizza at bible talk, drinking only juice at a BBQ, and countless other times that I saw ads, smelled smells at work, took walks on lunch to distract myself, etc. The victory was clear for me! I've never done anything like this before, and God blessed me with a weight loss of about 33 pounds!!
However, since I have started eating again, inevitably I expected to put on a couple pounds because the fast had a cleansing effect. My bowels had nothing in them. With the re-introduction of food, I now have some waste in my digestive tract, and that's okay. So, my net weight loss, is probably still right around 30 pounds! Still, not bad for just 24 or 25 days!!!
*********************************
So what happens now?
For the next week, I plan on supplementing my meals with juice. However I also need to acknowledge that this coming week is going to be filled with planning and a trip to Spokane to work on my house, clean up the property, do landscaping, painting, and repairs in preparation for selling it.
Right now, the weather forecast is showing the hottest week of the year so far: Saturday 98, Sunday 93, and Monday 92. And it's supposed to be over 100 on the days preceding the weekend! This would be incredibly challenging for me to complete much of the work I need to get done. So, I'm asking for prayers for the weather to be significantly cooler so that I can make the best use of this time in order for me to put the house on the market next week. Thank you!
*********************************
I will be posting again in the next few days about some other very encouraging things that are going on. But for now, thank all of you again so much for all of your support, love and prayers/good thoughts over the past month. I'm very encouraged, energized and feeling like a human being again! Please pray for me being able to get my house ready, and to sell it quickly. Thank you!!
So, about a week and a half ago, I started looking into getting a nutritionist. Since I just didn't have enough money to put toward the 30-day online group (at a whopping $289!), I thought that I should at least get a nutritionist to help me to learn how to re-introduce solid food to my body. Some pretty major changes had happened in my digestive system (all of them exceptionally good as near as I can tell), that I should probably seek the advice of a professional. And I even listened!
So last Sunday I went to the nutritionist. It was Day 24. In the preceding days, my body had been not doing well. I was very tired and quite irritable and I frankly was getting really sick of the juice. Now I consider all of those things pretty normal. But one thing stuck out to me as not being normal. I was really craving food very strongly. According to the things I had heard on this plan was that I shouldn't be hungry like this. Well every time I saw food, it was actually getting harder, not easier! I didn't think I was going to make it another 6 days. I was really struggling....
So I shared all of this with my nutritionist and she said that my body just needed some protein, so she suggested, starting that evening, to incorporate about one ounce of chicken while I was drinking my juice. So I cooked up a seasoned chicken breast, slightly seared, and as instructed, ate small bites, chewing each bite thoroughly. It was absolutely heavenly! I probably ate more than one ounce (possibly about 2 ounces) and I almost immediately began to feel better!
The next day, Day 25, I was told I could double the recommended amount of chicken to two ounces. I probably ate about 5 ounces. Maybe six. It was exquisite, even warmed up! So, from there, I still continued to drink my juice, but slowly began to add more food. By Wednesday, she said I could make some soup, with chicken and well-cooked (soft) vegetables and rice. But no wheat, as I believe that I have gluten sensitivity. Once again, it was amazing!
So, basically what has happened is that my fast technically ended on Day 25, or even Day 24 if you want to include the first small amount of chicken I had. But despite this, I believe this was the best for my health. Now, when I started to re-introduce solid food to my diet, my temptation is to say "Well, I didn't make the 30 days." But the reality is that I didn't eat any solid food for TWENTY-FOUR days!
That by itself is such a huge accomplishment for me. I'm so excited that God kept me strong through pizza at bible talk, drinking only juice at a BBQ, and countless other times that I saw ads, smelled smells at work, took walks on lunch to distract myself, etc. The victory was clear for me! I've never done anything like this before, and God blessed me with a weight loss of about 33 pounds!!
However, since I have started eating again, inevitably I expected to put on a couple pounds because the fast had a cleansing effect. My bowels had nothing in them. With the re-introduction of food, I now have some waste in my digestive tract, and that's okay. So, my net weight loss, is probably still right around 30 pounds! Still, not bad for just 24 or 25 days!!!
*********************************
So what happens now?
For the next week, I plan on supplementing my meals with juice. However I also need to acknowledge that this coming week is going to be filled with planning and a trip to Spokane to work on my house, clean up the property, do landscaping, painting, and repairs in preparation for selling it.
Right now, the weather forecast is showing the hottest week of the year so far: Saturday 98, Sunday 93, and Monday 92. And it's supposed to be over 100 on the days preceding the weekend! This would be incredibly challenging for me to complete much of the work I need to get done. So, I'm asking for prayers for the weather to be significantly cooler so that I can make the best use of this time in order for me to put the house on the market next week. Thank you!
*********************************
I will be posting again in the next few days about some other very encouraging things that are going on. But for now, thank all of you again so much for all of your support, love and prayers/good thoughts over the past month. I'm very encouraged, energized and feeling like a human being again! Please pray for me being able to get my house ready, and to sell it quickly. Thank you!!
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Days 11 - 16: Steady as She Goes?
Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by! So here's a short update on the craziness of my journey. I love my journey. But today I love pizza and hamburgers more. Well, in my mind any way...
NON-JUICE-RELATED CRAZINESS
The last few days have been very distracting. Since before I started my juice fast, my father and stepmom have been in town. My dad, as some of you may recall, had a bi-lateral lung transplant (that's BOTH lungs), back in November of 2013. In the meantime, he's been doing great! In the past year or two, he has had to come to Seattle for checkups every 4 months.
Usually, everything checks out just fine and he and my stepmom Pam head back to Eastern Washington to go about their lives. Well, this time unfortunately was a bit different. My dad was having a hard time breathing and so they checked him into the hospital. He had a significant amount of fluid in and around his lungs and one lung had actually deflated! So they put in a drain and started doing some tests to find out what was going on.
Thankfully, it was not as a result of an infection! But they couldn't quite figure out what was going on. Finally, they seemed to come upon some possible small holes in his lungs. So on Thursday, they had to do a laparoscopic surgery (minimally invasive) to cauterize and plug those holes. For most people, this would be a pretty simple surgery, but for a man that has virtually no immune system, it was dangerous.
He went in at 3:30 p.m. and I got to the hospital after work at about 4 p.m. The surgery took about 5 hours and we didn't hear from the doctor until about 8:45 p.m. But he was semi-alert and we got a chance to say hi and then I had to head home. Thank you everyone for your prayers. My dad is such a great man, and he seems in good spirits and looks healthier than when he went in! Now we just wait for the next few days to see how he does and if the fluid stops.
On a side note, this has been very difficult on my stepmom. She has been an absolute hero for my dad. She makes sure he is taking his meds and shots (he got diabetes from the surgery and is also suffering almost total short term memory loss). She cooks and cleans for him and my father would absolutely not be around if it were not for her tireless efforts. Anyway, if you think about it, please send good thoughts and prayers for her, too. 😀
Sadly, on the same day of the surgery, my stepmother got a call from my brother in Alaska. He and his girlfriend moved there a year ago to build a house and start a life together there. My brother has been working so hard to get the house done and he is currently within a few weeks of completion. A few days ago, he finished the deck floor. Now, I'm assuming this is a bear-deterrent, but the house is built about 10 feet above ground. So the deck is also at that level.
His girlfriend went out onto the deck and somehow fell off, falling 10 feet down to the bare ground. According to my brother, the doctors are saying she has severed her spine and will likely be paralyzed. Her surgery was supposed to be today and I have not yet heard how that went. So, if you think of it, please pray for them. Her name is Yvonne.
THE FAST
So with all that other craziness, my craziness doesn't seem too crazy, right? Well, it is still crazy, but I'm plugging along anyway. The last few days I have just sort of been cruising. I still want food, but my cravings are still generally diminishing. I still have good days and bad days, but overall it's getting a little bit easier each day.
But today was one of those days where I just wanted to eat something... ANYTHING!! Still craving cheese, and would love to sink my teeth into a big old pizza! But I stayed strong...
Today we had the men's forum at Magnusson Park. It was fun, there was activities and food (I had my juice) and an amazing lesson preached by Joel. We spent some time playing frisbee and ninja, and I spent a good amount of time active and in the incredible sunshine, just a few feet from Lake Washington!
But afterward, I was pretty wiped out! I went to the guys' house and they were having a gaming hangout. I didn't stay for long because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. So I headed home and crashed for about an hour and a half.
I've been feeling a lot better in a lot of ways since starting this juice fast, but I have still been pretty tired overall. I believe that the one thing that I haven't been doing enough of, is exercise. So I have set a goal to put 30,000 steps behind me this weekend. But after my nap, I had only put on about 6,000 steps and it was almost 9pm!
So, I decided to walk to the store. Not the one by my house, but that's about a mile away. To make a long, very boring story short, I took the long way home, walking about 3.5 miles (5.6 km) total! With the possible exception of walking around Greenlake almost two years ago, I believe this is the most I've walked at one time. I wouldn't have been able to do a mile even 3 weeks ago, so this is increible. And I'm not sore (yet)!! So, I will be going to bed this evening with at least 14,259 steps tonight! I'm pretty excited about that!
So this ends day 16.... Yesterday I weighed myself and have lost a total of 22 pounds (exactly 10 kg)! I originally asked for all of your help, and you've delivered in an incredible way! Thank you all for your amazing love and support: your texts, notes on facebook, and for the donations that literally are making this possible for me! But most of all, I'm so grateful to God for blessing it so much. I can't wait to eat again in two weeks, but for now, I'm hanging in there!
Love you all and I'll post again in the next few days.
NON-JUICE-RELATED CRAZINESS
The last few days have been very distracting. Since before I started my juice fast, my father and stepmom have been in town. My dad, as some of you may recall, had a bi-lateral lung transplant (that's BOTH lungs), back in November of 2013. In the meantime, he's been doing great! In the past year or two, he has had to come to Seattle for checkups every 4 months.
Usually, everything checks out just fine and he and my stepmom Pam head back to Eastern Washington to go about their lives. Well, this time unfortunately was a bit different. My dad was having a hard time breathing and so they checked him into the hospital. He had a significant amount of fluid in and around his lungs and one lung had actually deflated! So they put in a drain and started doing some tests to find out what was going on.
Thankfully, it was not as a result of an infection! But they couldn't quite figure out what was going on. Finally, they seemed to come upon some possible small holes in his lungs. So on Thursday, they had to do a laparoscopic surgery (minimally invasive) to cauterize and plug those holes. For most people, this would be a pretty simple surgery, but for a man that has virtually no immune system, it was dangerous.
He went in at 3:30 p.m. and I got to the hospital after work at about 4 p.m. The surgery took about 5 hours and we didn't hear from the doctor until about 8:45 p.m. But he was semi-alert and we got a chance to say hi and then I had to head home. Thank you everyone for your prayers. My dad is such a great man, and he seems in good spirits and looks healthier than when he went in! Now we just wait for the next few days to see how he does and if the fluid stops.
On a side note, this has been very difficult on my stepmom. She has been an absolute hero for my dad. She makes sure he is taking his meds and shots (he got diabetes from the surgery and is also suffering almost total short term memory loss). She cooks and cleans for him and my father would absolutely not be around if it were not for her tireless efforts. Anyway, if you think about it, please send good thoughts and prayers for her, too. 😀
Sadly, on the same day of the surgery, my stepmother got a call from my brother in Alaska. He and his girlfriend moved there a year ago to build a house and start a life together there. My brother has been working so hard to get the house done and he is currently within a few weeks of completion. A few days ago, he finished the deck floor. Now, I'm assuming this is a bear-deterrent, but the house is built about 10 feet above ground. So the deck is also at that level.
His girlfriend went out onto the deck and somehow fell off, falling 10 feet down to the bare ground. According to my brother, the doctors are saying she has severed her spine and will likely be paralyzed. Her surgery was supposed to be today and I have not yet heard how that went. So, if you think of it, please pray for them. Her name is Yvonne.
THE FAST
So with all that other craziness, my craziness doesn't seem too crazy, right? Well, it is still crazy, but I'm plugging along anyway. The last few days I have just sort of been cruising. I still want food, but my cravings are still generally diminishing. I still have good days and bad days, but overall it's getting a little bit easier each day.
But today was one of those days where I just wanted to eat something... ANYTHING!! Still craving cheese, and would love to sink my teeth into a big old pizza! But I stayed strong...
Today we had the men's forum at Magnusson Park. It was fun, there was activities and food (I had my juice) and an amazing lesson preached by Joel. We spent some time playing frisbee and ninja, and I spent a good amount of time active and in the incredible sunshine, just a few feet from Lake Washington!
But afterward, I was pretty wiped out! I went to the guys' house and they were having a gaming hangout. I didn't stay for long because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. So I headed home and crashed for about an hour and a half.
I've been feeling a lot better in a lot of ways since starting this juice fast, but I have still been pretty tired overall. I believe that the one thing that I haven't been doing enough of, is exercise. So I have set a goal to put 30,000 steps behind me this weekend. But after my nap, I had only put on about 6,000 steps and it was almost 9pm!
So, I decided to walk to the store. Not the one by my house, but that's about a mile away. To make a long, very boring story short, I took the long way home, walking about 3.5 miles (5.6 km) total! With the possible exception of walking around Greenlake almost two years ago, I believe this is the most I've walked at one time. I wouldn't have been able to do a mile even 3 weeks ago, so this is increible. And I'm not sore (yet)!! So, I will be going to bed this evening with at least 14,259 steps tonight! I'm pretty excited about that!
So this ends day 16.... Yesterday I weighed myself and have lost a total of 22 pounds (exactly 10 kg)! I originally asked for all of your help, and you've delivered in an incredible way! Thank you all for your amazing love and support: your texts, notes on facebook, and for the donations that literally are making this possible for me! But most of all, I'm so grateful to God for blessing it so much. I can't wait to eat again in two weeks, but for now, I'm hanging in there!
Love you all and I'll post again in the next few days.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Days 6 - 11: The Juicing Roller Coaster Ride and the BBQ!
First of all, my deepest apologies for not posting this last week. I could say I was too busy to sit down and write, and that would kind of be true, but the truth is yes, I have been busy, but I could have found the time.... Thanks to Sabrina for reminding me of my shortcomings in this area, and for being patient with me!! Here you go!
So now it kind of stinks to have to go back into my dusty old memory banks to try to retrieve all the details on how my last few days have gone. It's so much easier if I would just do it one or two at a time. I'm learning my lesson!!! Haha!
Day 6:
Well despite feeling better yesterday (Day 5), Day 6 was a bit more challenging. I had to work and am still dealing with stomach discomfort and some nausea. Didn't go to see my dad at the hospital today because I just didn't feel up to it. Now, despite feeling kind of rotten, I do still have better energy, and feeling a bit more "well-oiled" every day. The inflammation in my body seems to be going away! It doesn't hurt quite so much getting out of bed in the morning my range of motion is obviously improving! And I don't feel quite so puffed up/bloated. 👍
One extremely annoying thing did happen today, however. I went to the gym to weigh myself. I didn't feel quite up to exercising yet, so I just went in for the scale today, but I couldn't find it. They had started doing some renovations in the club and I assumed they had moved it. So I went to the desk and they said they don't have one there any more.....
Huh?.....
They said that this is a "judgment free zone" and so people don't judge or feel bad or whatever, they got rid of it! I was completely dumbfounded. I've never heard something so ridiculous thing in all my life! You are running a fitness club where people want to be able to track their progress for Pete's sake! Thankfully I apparently was not the only voice regarding the issue. Oh well, I guess I'll have to figure something else out. Overall the day was pretty good, definitely making progress!
Day 7:
Today was a great day! While in the restroom at work, I walked by the mirror and was slightly startled! What is this? I noticed that I was looking a bit svelter! I was so excited, I thought, "I need to weigh myself!" After 7 days and I could already tell a difference in my appearance!!! 😁😁😁😁 So, now my interest was really piqued, so with the help of friends on facebook, someone gave me the idea to weigh myself at the hospital when I go visit my dad this evening. So I did!
10 POUNDS (4.5 KG)!!! IN SEVEN DAYS!!
Wow, thank you so much God! This was very motivating! After leaving the hospital, I had to go buy some more juice at Costco. Supposed to be opened until 8pm. Nope. Closed at 6pm, got there at 6:05pm. 😕 So instead of getting the bottled juice, now I had to get veggies and juice my heart out. So I went Trader Joe's for the fixins.
That's when the unthinkable happened!! I was mortified! My shoe had come untied! Nooooo! Now for the average person, this is not a big deal, but for someone with a lot of pain and a large obstruction between my head and my feet, this is a problem!
Usually I have to put my foot up on something, preferably about 2 feet high, but you can't do that in a grocery store! My mind was racing, I sincerely didn't know what to do! But then it dawned on me. Let's see if I can bend down and tie it. Now that I'm svelte (ha!) maybe I can do it! So I did, I got on one knee and voila! I did it! Now it wasn't particularly graceful, but I don't think I would have been able to do that a week ago! More progress!
Day 8:
Day Eight was a success, but I am starting to get sick of the same old juice every day. So, I figured I needed to treat myself today, so I went to a juice bar near where I work and got a very similar drink to my standard green apple, celery, ginger, lemon, kale and cucumber juice. I told the girl I needed something sweet. She suggested adding pear! Yes, that's perfect!
And it was delicious!
I don't do well with the same thing every day. I drink about a liter of essentially the same juice every day and nothing else, except water. It was a nice reprieve! Otherwise today I just kept chugging along . Good day, still feeling better every day. I still feel hungry and still have cravings for pizza and red meat. 😒
Day 9:
Today I thought I would mix things up a bit. So I went to a barbecue.....
In my defense, it was a good friend's birthday party and they just *happened* to be having a barbecue. Of course they did.... LOL! I drove all the way to Bremerton to get some time with him and his mother, who is a long-time very dear friend (and time with others, too), and I wasn't about to leave after an hour of arriving. I just figured God would hook me up. So I walked in with my ridiculously large bottle of green juice, my head held high, and just decided to enjoy myself.
There were definitely moments of weakness there, but I didn't give in! And I had a great time, too. Mostly, I just felt like God hooked me up. There's no other explanation for my being that chill being around my favorite kind of food: various grilled animals! That would normally have been extremely challenging! But not with God, not today at least!
Day 10:
I have to confess, I had solid food today. Okay, it was just a very small piece of communion bread, but it was solid! Anyway, seriously, today felt a little bit rough. Still having some fatigue, and stomach issues. But I trudged through! After church and a group video at Gasworks Park, got some time with Joel and he treated me to a really tasty juice at Jamba!
It was made from cucumber, orange, and some other stuff, and I had them add some pineapple. It was very mild but tasty and refreshing! That's twice in 3 days that I treated myself to something other than the daily blend. Once again, gotta keep that sanity!
Also went to visit my dad in the hospital, and weighed myself again:
SIX . TEEN . POUNDS!!! (7 KG!) That's SIX more pounds in just THREE days!!
Thank you God! Wow, this is really starting to pay off. I'm in a bit of shock!
Day 11:
Got to bed a bit late last night, so I was really tired today! Also, I have been very bad about drinking water, so I know I'm dehydrated. I just need to drink more water!!! It's weird. I actually feel better when I don't have anything at all in my stomach. Although it's slowly feeling better each day, still having mild stomach issues, but nausea is getting better. Hm, I bet water would help that....
Today I'm really starting to get tired of this. I really want to eat something!
But on a good note, I'm so grateful for all your positive feedback on this journey! I have been noticing some changes to my health. I would like to share some of them with you (nothing gross or inappropriate). These are not all of the benefits I have experienced in my first week and a half:
Day 12:
Another night of getting into bed too late! Boo to me! Today was a bit rough again because I was SO tired at work today and I had to make a decision... Should I get some coffee? I fought myself for a couple hours on this one. But at lunch, I finally gave in, and got the smallest iced latte I could get: 12 ounces.
Only one shot of espresso, only one squirt of vanilla. Not ideal, but not the end of the world either. I have to say that I got a very QUICK rush of energy and that carried me through the rest of the day!! Still not solid food, right?
Ugh, I need some support to be able to keep going...
✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊
So I'm pretty blown away by the outpouring of love and support from many of you! So far, you have contributed a total of $165.00. I also used a $25 gift card that I had, and I used and a chunk of my own money, but I'm still just about $150.00 short of being able to do the 30-day online support group.
The next group starts the day after tomorrow, July 13th. I really hate to ask because you have all been so generous, but I don't get paid until Friday the 14th which is too late to join the group. Seriously, even $5 or $10 will help me so much. Again, I'm willing to pay you back if you contribute and let me know! Thank you!!! You can donate here if you choose to:
paypal.me/TimMorse111
I'm so close, but I am realizing that I really need some help with this. This is really starting to kick my butt a little bit. Thank you so much for reading my blog tonight! Very grateful for everyone of you!
Much love from Seattle,
Tim
So now it kind of stinks to have to go back into my dusty old memory banks to try to retrieve all the details on how my last few days have gone. It's so much easier if I would just do it one or two at a time. I'm learning my lesson!!! Haha!
Day 6:
Well despite feeling better yesterday (Day 5), Day 6 was a bit more challenging. I had to work and am still dealing with stomach discomfort and some nausea. Didn't go to see my dad at the hospital today because I just didn't feel up to it. Now, despite feeling kind of rotten, I do still have better energy, and feeling a bit more "well-oiled" every day. The inflammation in my body seems to be going away! It doesn't hurt quite so much getting out of bed in the morning my range of motion is obviously improving! And I don't feel quite so puffed up/bloated. 👍
One extremely annoying thing did happen today, however. I went to the gym to weigh myself. I didn't feel quite up to exercising yet, so I just went in for the scale today, but I couldn't find it. They had started doing some renovations in the club and I assumed they had moved it. So I went to the desk and they said they don't have one there any more.....
Huh?.....
They said that this is a "judgment free zone" and so people don't judge or feel bad or whatever, they got rid of it! I was completely dumbfounded. I've never heard something so ridiculous thing in all my life! You are running a fitness club where people want to be able to track their progress for Pete's sake! Thankfully I apparently was not the only voice regarding the issue. Oh well, I guess I'll have to figure something else out. Overall the day was pretty good, definitely making progress!
Day 7:
Today was a great day! While in the restroom at work, I walked by the mirror and was slightly startled! What is this? I noticed that I was looking a bit svelter! I was so excited, I thought, "I need to weigh myself!" After 7 days and I could already tell a difference in my appearance!!! 😁😁😁😁 So, now my interest was really piqued, so with the help of friends on facebook, someone gave me the idea to weigh myself at the hospital when I go visit my dad this evening. So I did!
10 POUNDS (4.5 KG)!!! IN SEVEN DAYS!!
Wow, thank you so much God! This was very motivating! After leaving the hospital, I had to go buy some more juice at Costco. Supposed to be opened until 8pm. Nope. Closed at 6pm, got there at 6:05pm. 😕 So instead of getting the bottled juice, now I had to get veggies and juice my heart out. So I went Trader Joe's for the fixins.
That's when the unthinkable happened!! I was mortified! My shoe had come untied! Nooooo! Now for the average person, this is not a big deal, but for someone with a lot of pain and a large obstruction between my head and my feet, this is a problem!
Usually I have to put my foot up on something, preferably about 2 feet high, but you can't do that in a grocery store! My mind was racing, I sincerely didn't know what to do! But then it dawned on me. Let's see if I can bend down and tie it. Now that I'm svelte (ha!) maybe I can do it! So I did, I got on one knee and voila! I did it! Now it wasn't particularly graceful, but I don't think I would have been able to do that a week ago! More progress!
Day 8:
Day Eight was a success, but I am starting to get sick of the same old juice every day. So, I figured I needed to treat myself today, so I went to a juice bar near where I work and got a very similar drink to my standard green apple, celery, ginger, lemon, kale and cucumber juice. I told the girl I needed something sweet. She suggested adding pear! Yes, that's perfect!
And it was delicious!
I don't do well with the same thing every day. I drink about a liter of essentially the same juice every day and nothing else, except water. It was a nice reprieve! Otherwise today I just kept chugging along . Good day, still feeling better every day. I still feel hungry and still have cravings for pizza and red meat. 😒
Day 9:
Today I thought I would mix things up a bit. So I went to a barbecue.....
In my defense, it was a good friend's birthday party and they just *happened* to be having a barbecue. Of course they did.... LOL! I drove all the way to Bremerton to get some time with him and his mother, who is a long-time very dear friend (and time with others, too), and I wasn't about to leave after an hour of arriving. I just figured God would hook me up. So I walked in with my ridiculously large bottle of green juice, my head held high, and just decided to enjoy myself.
There were definitely moments of weakness there, but I didn't give in! And I had a great time, too. Mostly, I just felt like God hooked me up. There's no other explanation for my being that chill being around my favorite kind of food: various grilled animals! That would normally have been extremely challenging! But not with God, not today at least!
Day 10:
I have to confess, I had solid food today. Okay, it was just a very small piece of communion bread, but it was solid! Anyway, seriously, today felt a little bit rough. Still having some fatigue, and stomach issues. But I trudged through! After church and a group video at Gasworks Park, got some time with Joel and he treated me to a really tasty juice at Jamba!
It was made from cucumber, orange, and some other stuff, and I had them add some pineapple. It was very mild but tasty and refreshing! That's twice in 3 days that I treated myself to something other than the daily blend. Once again, gotta keep that sanity!
Also went to visit my dad in the hospital, and weighed myself again:
SIX . TEEN . POUNDS!!! (7 KG!) That's SIX more pounds in just THREE days!!
Thank you God! Wow, this is really starting to pay off. I'm in a bit of shock!
Day 11:
Got to bed a bit late last night, so I was really tired today! Also, I have been very bad about drinking water, so I know I'm dehydrated. I just need to drink more water!!! It's weird. I actually feel better when I don't have anything at all in my stomach. Although it's slowly feeling better each day, still having mild stomach issues, but nausea is getting better. Hm, I bet water would help that....
Today I'm really starting to get tired of this. I really want to eat something!
But on a good note, I'm so grateful for all your positive feedback on this journey! I have been noticing some changes to my health. I would like to share some of them with you (nothing gross or inappropriate). These are not all of the benefits I have experienced in my first week and a half:
- Clearer complexion,
- Mild eczema almost completely gone,
- Headache going away,
- More energy,
- Eyesight improving,
- Significantly less pain,
- Much improved range of motion,
- Happier,
- Diminished intestinal discomfort,
- Reduced sensitivity to hot and cold.
Day 12:
Another night of getting into bed too late! Boo to me! Today was a bit rough again because I was SO tired at work today and I had to make a decision... Should I get some coffee? I fought myself for a couple hours on this one. But at lunch, I finally gave in, and got the smallest iced latte I could get: 12 ounces.
Only one shot of espresso, only one squirt of vanilla. Not ideal, but not the end of the world either. I have to say that I got a very QUICK rush of energy and that carried me through the rest of the day!! Still not solid food, right?
Ugh, I need some support to be able to keep going...
✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊
So I'm pretty blown away by the outpouring of love and support from many of you! So far, you have contributed a total of $165.00. I also used a $25 gift card that I had, and I used and a chunk of my own money, but I'm still just about $150.00 short of being able to do the 30-day online support group.
The next group starts the day after tomorrow, July 13th. I really hate to ask because you have all been so generous, but I don't get paid until Friday the 14th which is too late to join the group. Seriously, even $5 or $10 will help me so much. Again, I'm willing to pay you back if you contribute and let me know! Thank you!!! You can donate here if you choose to:
paypal.me/TimMorse111
I'm so close, but I am realizing that I really need some help with this. This is really starting to kick my butt a little bit. Thank you so much for reading my blog tonight! Very grateful for everyone of you!
Much love from Seattle,
Tim
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Day 5: Starting to Feel Human Again
Welcome to my Day 5!
Waking up this morning after a nice long (for me) 7 hour rest, I got up and felt like my head was starting to clear up a bit. It was such an unfamiliar feeling, but what a great feeling! And all of the sudden, I had more energy! Now, I do still have a kickin' headache and a bit of haziness, but the stomach pain and nausea are generally getting better. This is VERY promising!!
I'm so encouraged by today! I got up and had the energy to do my finances, start making a dent in cleaning my room, juiced twice, did a load of laundry, replaced a side view mirror on my car (long and very boring story) as well as some other various projects, then got to visit my dad in the hospital this afternoon!
I just didn't feel up to going out to Gasworks Park for the 4th of July festivities with the church, so I was bummed about that, but this was definitely the most productive day I've had in a long time! Thank you God!
I'm getting ready for bed and it's currently 10:48pm. Since it's July 4th, there are still a lot of fireworks being let off in the neighborhood, so I'll have to wait it out a bit longer. Hopefully not too much longer though because 4:45am comes quickly!
Thanks again to all of your love and support, moral and otherwise! I can't wait to see what the next few days bring! I'll continue to share more as time allows. I'm not sure if every day is going to be ideal, but I will update regularly!
Happy 4th of July to my American friends and happy July 5th to my non-American friends!! (Just cuz!) 😏
Waking up this morning after a nice long (for me) 7 hour rest, I got up and felt like my head was starting to clear up a bit. It was such an unfamiliar feeling, but what a great feeling! And all of the sudden, I had more energy! Now, I do still have a kickin' headache and a bit of haziness, but the stomach pain and nausea are generally getting better. This is VERY promising!!
I'm so encouraged by today! I got up and had the energy to do my finances, start making a dent in cleaning my room, juiced twice, did a load of laundry, replaced a side view mirror on my car (long and very boring story) as well as some other various projects, then got to visit my dad in the hospital this afternoon!
I just didn't feel up to going out to Gasworks Park for the 4th of July festivities with the church, so I was bummed about that, but this was definitely the most productive day I've had in a long time! Thank you God!
I'm getting ready for bed and it's currently 10:48pm. Since it's July 4th, there are still a lot of fireworks being let off in the neighborhood, so I'll have to wait it out a bit longer. Hopefully not too much longer though because 4:45am comes quickly!
Thanks again to all of your love and support, moral and otherwise! I can't wait to see what the next few days bring! I'll continue to share more as time allows. I'm not sure if every day is going to be ideal, but I will update regularly!
Happy 4th of July to my American friends and happy July 5th to my non-American friends!! (Just cuz!) 😏
Monday, July 3, 2017
Day 4: I'll just call it "Cravings Day"
CAUTION: Short "Gripe-fest" to follow (It's short, I promise!):
Man, all day I've been dreaming of a big fat juicy steak, grilled to perfection on a BBQ grill, seasoned with lemon & pepper and Montreal Steak Seasoning and smothered in fried mushrooms. With a baked potato on the side, with all the toppings! ALL. DAY. LONG!
My body is getting desperate, I'm even craving stuff I don't really even like all that much, like the Chinese food from a can that my mom used to make us in the 70's (Love you, mom!). 😀 Very bizarre stuff! But craving so many things today...
Also still feeling generally yucky, with bouts of stomach discomfort and some nausea. Headache is still hanging out and still feeling pretty wiped out. Y'all can pack your bags and get out of my body!
I've seriously been so tempted to give in today! Thank you for all your prayers and support! (By the way, a few very generous people have donated a total of $125 toward my costs. I'm so incredibly grateful for you!!)
I feel like I'm sooo close to my first goal. I don't think I've ever gone 4 days in a row without food in my 47 1/2 years! So, this is a big deal for me! I just have to make it one more day before my body adjusts, so I'm told! I can't wait!!!
Today was my biggest concern, having to be nice to people on the phones at work!! My bosses were so incredibly kind to allow me to do a different task for a few hours today since they knew that I was feeling a bit under the weather. I'm so grateful for them! And then they let us out an hour early, which I didn't find out until nearly the end of my shift!
So, tomorrow, we'll see how I feel. My church is planning a 4th of July celebration in a popular park with tons of people, no parking, etc. And if I feel anything like I do now, there's just no way I will have the energy to handle all that tomorrow. (Man, I sound old!!)
Day 4: ALMOST DONE!!
And bring on Day 5, I'm ready to get this phase of my journey over!!!
(Prayers and good thoughts still much appreciated! Thanks!)
Man, all day I've been dreaming of a big fat juicy steak, grilled to perfection on a BBQ grill, seasoned with lemon & pepper and Montreal Steak Seasoning and smothered in fried mushrooms. With a baked potato on the side, with all the toppings! ALL. DAY. LONG!
My body is getting desperate, I'm even craving stuff I don't really even like all that much, like the Chinese food from a can that my mom used to make us in the 70's (Love you, mom!). 😀 Very bizarre stuff! But craving so many things today...
Also still feeling generally yucky, with bouts of stomach discomfort and some nausea. Headache is still hanging out and still feeling pretty wiped out. Y'all can pack your bags and get out of my body!
I've seriously been so tempted to give in today! Thank you for all your prayers and support! (By the way, a few very generous people have donated a total of $125 toward my costs. I'm so incredibly grateful for you!!)
I feel like I'm sooo close to my first goal. I don't think I've ever gone 4 days in a row without food in my 47 1/2 years! So, this is a big deal for me! I just have to make it one more day before my body adjusts, so I'm told! I can't wait!!!
Today was my biggest concern, having to be nice to people on the phones at work!! My bosses were so incredibly kind to allow me to do a different task for a few hours today since they knew that I was feeling a bit under the weather. I'm so grateful for them! And then they let us out an hour early, which I didn't find out until nearly the end of my shift!
So, tomorrow, we'll see how I feel. My church is planning a 4th of July celebration in a popular park with tons of people, no parking, etc. And if I feel anything like I do now, there's just no way I will have the energy to handle all that tomorrow. (Man, I sound old!!)
Day 4: ALMOST DONE!!
And bring on Day 5, I'm ready to get this phase of my journey over!!!
(Prayers and good thoughts still much appreciated! Thanks!)
Sunday, July 2, 2017
Day 3: Oh lordy....
Ah, what can i say about day 3? Well, let's just say the rubber is hitting the road today. I woke up this morning feeling like I was run over by a truck. Headache, stomach ache, and feeling super weak. I crawled out of bed and it took a while for me to get moving!
Still been feeling some nausea but started drinking more water. It seems to be helping. Also some of my back pain and foot pain returned. Hopefully for one last time?
But despite all of this, I made it to church, and it was very encouraging! Afterward I had to unfortunately cancel my plans once again to go see my dad in the hospital because I don't think I would have lasted 5 minutes. Just felt lousy....
So I came home and took a nap because I was just exhausted. Two hours was great, but could have stayed in bed much longer!!! I also had to get some laundry done, and then went to hear John Causey preach to our little group at the staff meeting, and it was amazing!! Thanks John!
But shortly after the lesson, I had to come home to finish my laundry and hopefully get to bed at a reasonable hour. I've been trying to be out and about and semi-active. But Joel mentioned today that I looked pretty tired. It's true. But I was still trying to be giving!
Also, I don't think this is cheating but I inadvertently took a couple breath mints at the meeting this evening, but realized after a few minutes that was probably not part of the plan, so I spit them out. I hope that doesn't ruin any progress I've made so far. But one thing I was not aware of, but this juice fast comes some serious breath. Eek!
Anyway, PLEASE pray for me tomorrow. I have to work my regular 6:30am shift and I'm hoping that it's quiet at work. If I can make it through tomorrow I think I've got these first 5 days!!
Day 3: DONE!!!!
Still been feeling some nausea but started drinking more water. It seems to be helping. Also some of my back pain and foot pain returned. Hopefully for one last time?
But despite all of this, I made it to church, and it was very encouraging! Afterward I had to unfortunately cancel my plans once again to go see my dad in the hospital because I don't think I would have lasted 5 minutes. Just felt lousy....
So I came home and took a nap because I was just exhausted. Two hours was great, but could have stayed in bed much longer!!! I also had to get some laundry done, and then went to hear John Causey preach to our little group at the staff meeting, and it was amazing!! Thanks John!
But shortly after the lesson, I had to come home to finish my laundry and hopefully get to bed at a reasonable hour. I've been trying to be out and about and semi-active. But Joel mentioned today that I looked pretty tired. It's true. But I was still trying to be giving!
Also, I don't think this is cheating but I inadvertently took a couple breath mints at the meeting this evening, but realized after a few minutes that was probably not part of the plan, so I spit them out. I hope that doesn't ruin any progress I've made so far. But one thing I was not aware of, but this juice fast comes some serious breath. Eek!
Anyway, PLEASE pray for me tomorrow. I have to work my regular 6:30am shift and I'm hoping that it's quiet at work. If I can make it through tomorrow I think I've got these first 5 days!!
Day 3: DONE!!!!
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Juicing Days 1 & 2
Hey all!
First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your messages of encouragement, by phone, text, messenger, etc. They mean the world to me! Also, I am so blown away by the sheer number of people that have viewed my blog in the last two days! My best entry a couple of years ago had maybe 111 views. Since Wednesday night, I have had 550 views, fully 5x as many views as my previous best post! And from all over the world! I'm so humbled and grateful for all of you! Thank you!
So my first day juicing I went with Suja juice that I got at Costco. It's very similar to the one that Joe used during his 60-day juice fast. Then last night, I made my first batch with my machine.
Day 1:
So I got up and took the bus in to work. It was a beautifully clear morning with an amazing sunrise! Mount Rainier was proudly standing over Lake Washington, watching over Seattle as the pink from the sunrise turned to a misty orange-red on her brilliant white face. Man, God really has made this place beautiful!
I got to work and by about 8 a.m. I realized that I was starting to get really tired. I had my bottle of Suja that I drank throughout the day. I almost finished it during my shift, but in my haste, I left it on my desk. Oops. Not drinking that on Monday morning!! LOL
But work was definitely a challenge. By 10 a.m. I could tell I was really struggling. I was feeling grumpy and lethargic and just generally blah. The pace of calls picked up in the middle of the day and stayed that way until almost the end of my day. I went home pretty wiped out.
I wanted to go see my dad at the hospital, but just felt terrible, headache, stomach ache, even a bit of nausea. So I told my stepmom that I would try to come Saturday. So I just laid low and took it easy for the night.
One of the little things I noticed while I was walking to the bus after work was that I had just a bit more energy and I wasn't in quite as much pain while I was walking. "Hm," I thought to myself, "Could this be starting to work already?"
Day 2:
I woke up this morning and had some time planned with my friend Larry who had been having some issues in his family this week. Larry is a great guy that has been homeless in the last year and has now gotten off the street and is putting his life back together! He's come such a long way! But I digress! So I got about 9 hours of sleep last night which was badly needed! Today, I have significantly more energy, my mind is less foggy and I can tell that even my eyesight is improving!
I knew these things would happen from my research, but I had no idea they would happen so quickly! I'm very encouraged and hopeful that this continues!
But I am still having some pretty intense cravings, but it seems like they're slowly decreasing. I'm also still pretty hungry. But I guess we'll see what the next few days hold in store for me. I know everyone's prayers and good thoughts are helping a ton. I had no expectations that it would be this good so quickly. So please keep your prayers and positive vibes coming!!
First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your messages of encouragement, by phone, text, messenger, etc. They mean the world to me! Also, I am so blown away by the sheer number of people that have viewed my blog in the last two days! My best entry a couple of years ago had maybe 111 views. Since Wednesday night, I have had 550 views, fully 5x as many views as my previous best post! And from all over the world! I'm so humbled and grateful for all of you! Thank you!
So my first day juicing I went with Suja juice that I got at Costco. It's very similar to the one that Joe used during his 60-day juice fast. Then last night, I made my first batch with my machine.
Day 1:
So I got up and took the bus in to work. It was a beautifully clear morning with an amazing sunrise! Mount Rainier was proudly standing over Lake Washington, watching over Seattle as the pink from the sunrise turned to a misty orange-red on her brilliant white face. Man, God really has made this place beautiful!
I got to work and by about 8 a.m. I realized that I was starting to get really tired. I had my bottle of Suja that I drank throughout the day. I almost finished it during my shift, but in my haste, I left it on my desk. Oops. Not drinking that on Monday morning!! LOL
But work was definitely a challenge. By 10 a.m. I could tell I was really struggling. I was feeling grumpy and lethargic and just generally blah. The pace of calls picked up in the middle of the day and stayed that way until almost the end of my day. I went home pretty wiped out.
I wanted to go see my dad at the hospital, but just felt terrible, headache, stomach ache, even a bit of nausea. So I told my stepmom that I would try to come Saturday. So I just laid low and took it easy for the night.
One of the little things I noticed while I was walking to the bus after work was that I had just a bit more energy and I wasn't in quite as much pain while I was walking. "Hm," I thought to myself, "Could this be starting to work already?"
Day 2:
I woke up this morning and had some time planned with my friend Larry who had been having some issues in his family this week. Larry is a great guy that has been homeless in the last year and has now gotten off the street and is putting his life back together! He's come such a long way! But I digress! So I got about 9 hours of sleep last night which was badly needed! Today, I have significantly more energy, my mind is less foggy and I can tell that even my eyesight is improving!
I knew these things would happen from my research, but I had no idea they would happen so quickly! I'm very encouraged and hopeful that this continues!
But I am still having some pretty intense cravings, but it seems like they're slowly decreasing. I'm also still pretty hungry. But I guess we'll see what the next few days hold in store for me. I know everyone's prayers and good thoughts are helping a ton. I had no expectations that it would be this good so quickly. So please keep your prayers and positive vibes coming!!
Thursday, June 29, 2017
OH my, here we go!!!
WHAT. IN. THE. WORLD. AM. I. DOING????
Oh yeah, what I've been needing to do for a very long time.
Please remind me that this is only temporary. And the rewards will be immense and numerous. If you're reading this, I need YOU.
It's not often I feel this insecure. Now, I know I'll be fine. But this..... THIS is radical.
I need radical right now. I don't know what the next 5 days, or next 30 days holds, but I do know at the end it will be exceedingly good.
But now, I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I've got the jitters. I'm over the moon about the positive messages from all of you, and I NEED your encouragement like you can't believe. I am so excited to see how I feel and how I look on July 29th!
But for now, I just stand before the door. And it's about to open.
As I pray and I head to bed, I will wake up to that open door....
Oh yeah, what I've been needing to do for a very long time.
Please remind me that this is only temporary. And the rewards will be immense and numerous. If you're reading this, I need YOU.
It's not often I feel this insecure. Now, I know I'll be fine. But this..... THIS is radical.
I need radical right now. I don't know what the next 5 days, or next 30 days holds, but I do know at the end it will be exceedingly good.
But now, I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I've got the jitters. I'm over the moon about the positive messages from all of you, and I NEED your encouragement like you can't believe. I am so excited to see how I feel and how I look on July 29th!
But for now, I just stand before the door. And it's about to open.
As I pray and I head to bed, I will wake up to that open door....
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Pressing the Reset Button
Wow, so much to talk about. But tonight I'm going to try to keep it short.
I've been very sick the last 8-9 months. I don't think I have anything terrible, I just FEEL terrible...
Last Fall I finally got a reliable car, a 1999 Honda Accord! It's given me a renewed wanderlust, and in September and October of last year that I enjoyed immensely traveling all over the Northwest! In the first 5 weeks, I put over 3,500 (6,000 km) miles on the car, going as far east as Helena, Montana (over 600 miles/1,000 km from Seattle!), back and forth to Spokane a time or two, visiting family in Eastern Washington State, and ending with a trip to Portland, Oregon the first weekend of October.
I was so excited to have a car that I think I may have physically worn myself out! In all seriousness, on October 7, I was supposed to drive to Portland for a conference with the church, but began to feel under the weather the day before. From that time until the beginning of March, just shy of 5 months later, I was sick the ENTIRE time! It was very challenging just getting up in the morning and making it to work, church and other events. I was constantly coughing, feeling terrible and feeling very discouraged because I just didn't have the energy to do much of anything.
Though I am feeling much better than I was, I still don't feel well. AT ALL! I've been thinking about how I've not been eating the way I should, not getting as much exercise as I should, even though I am typically getting in about 8,000 - 9,000 steps every day. About two months ago, I weighed myself at the gym and it was a very shocking 366 pounds (166 kg)!! I was in total disbelief! How in the world did this happen??? Couldn't have been the gummi bears or peanut clusters! Okay, maybe it was...
The good news was that I was just re-re-re-re-starting a workout regimen that I was hoping that would bear some good fruit in my physical life as well as have positive side effects in my spiritual and emotional life as well. That was until I tweaked my back really bad after my last trip to Spokane a month ago. I'm just now starting to feel more or less back to normal. But I'm not anywhere near where I want to be....
Back at the beginning of the year, our church leader Joel encouraged me to watch a movie called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." My initial thought was, "Okay, whatever. Another feel good story... blah blah blah...." But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so a few weeks after I asked him about the name of the movie again and I decided to watch it.
I was pleasantly surprised about how inspiring this man's journey was from his suffering from a serious autoimmune disease, to total health! It sounded almost too good to be true. I really wanted to give it a try, but life just got in the way, money was an issue, and it would just be difficult to do. But because it dealt with juicing, more specifically a total juice fast, I had confidence that it was healthy, similar to the fast in Daniel 1:11-15 in the Bible. I encourage you to read it, it's very interesting!
Briefly, "Joe" went to a doctor before he started, and every 10 days during his fast, to track his blood numbers to make sure he was experiencing a steady and healthy change.
I also have consulted my doctor and have gotten the green light to start this journey as well.
But this is very scary.
This is a very radical lifestyle....it's such a drastic change! One of the things that "Joe" mentioned in other videos he has made was that the first 5 days are extremely challenging. I've fasted before but never more than about 3 days. He emphasized that if you can make it past the first 5 days, your body is no longer hungry. It adapts and gets used to the nutrients in the juice it's being fed.
So, I have decided to start my journey back to health this coming Friday, June 30th, just 2 1/2 days from now! And I am asking you if you would like to be part of this journey with me. Here are some things I would be incredibly grateful for:
1. Prayer, good thoughts and vibes! - I'm going to need all of this I can get!!!
2. Encouragement! - Calls, Facebook messages,text messages, responses to my blog posts, etc.
3. Join Me! - Now or later, let me know if you'd like to do this with me!
4. Accountability! - Ask me how I'm doing, it only takes a few seconds. Or as much time as you want to give.
I plan on blogging my way through this process. I expect the first few days I will write every day, but I may continue to blog a little every day to just document the process and my experience. I'll decide that after the first five days...
But this is such a huge step for me. I expect this to be a total reboot for me physically, spiritually, emotionally and even for my relationships. Even though I have tried to remain positive for the last few years, I find myself failing more often than I like. Seeing that I'm becoming more negative. Experiencing physical pain in my body, and having a hard time doing the most basic tasks. Yes, I'm fat. But I've had so many challenges in the past few years, I'm just tired. I need a total reset.
Now, I just need to get through the first five days!!
So, the reason I've decided to start this weekend is that I don't want to be around a bunch of people this weekend if I'm going through caffeine withdrawals, sugar withdrawals, food withdrawals, headaches, hunger, etc. I'm trying to minimize my affect at work where I'm expected to be nice to people on the phone! Hahaha! Just trying to be real...
So the first day (Friday) shouldn't be horrible. Tough, yes, but hopefully not horrible. Days 2 and 3 are Saturday and Sunday where I can put myself to bed if I'm getting too cranky! Ha! Day 4 is Monday, where I will have to be nice to people at work. Pray for me! But Day 5 will be July 4th and I will have the day off. Again, I can put myself away for a little while so I don't make any enemies. 😀
I'm also open to your thoughts... Do you think I should be more active and busy during the tough days to be distracted so time goes by more quickly? Or do you think I'm better off removing myself from society for the benefit of peace in the land? I'm not sure which is possible or better. Feel free to respond here or on Facebook.
According to "Joe", after day 5 he experienced a tremendous increase in energy. And this has been supported by many of his followers that have tried this method.
So my personal goal is 30 days. THIRTY. No food for a whole month! If I can just get through those pesky first 5 days!
So finally here's where it gets very uncomfortable for me. God has blessed me with some great things over the past year especially. I have a great job that covers my bills, but not much right now for a lot of extra expense. My doctor gave me one caveat for starting this juicing diet. He felt very strongly that I should join the group's support network, which would give me access to others that are doing the fast, as well as nutritionists, doctors, and other resources. Here's the link for the group if you're interested in learning more.
https://shop.rebootwithjoe.com/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwhMjKBRDjxb31j-aesI4BEiQA7ivN-D0vPGGV0zcvqtyjFN9WalVeEHUDttg2rk9a_bKAavgaAqjq8P8HAQ
I agreed that I would join, but then learned that the 30-day program was financially not in the realm of possibility for me at $289.00. On top of that, I recently bought a good used juicer that I paid cash for and the cost of the vegetables and fruits for the juice is about $15-$20 per day. My current food budget is is about half of the upper end of that estimate. So, I'm asking for loans. That's right. Loans.
Now, to be clear, if you want to *give* me money out of the kindness of your heart, I would gladly accept that. However, I have a plan in mind that I should be able to pay back all loans by the end of the year. I'm looking for a total of about $500 to cover *some* of the cost of the food and most of the cost of the support network. If you feel generous enough to give, please send me an email at timmorse@outlook.com if you would like to be paid back. Even $5 or $10 would help me immensely!! Anything will help!
Thanks so much if you've read this entire post. I'm very excited for this opportunity to essentially start all over again in many areas of my life. I'm a very vibrant, lively man and I miss my old energy. I don't for a minute expect this will be a fix for all my problems, but I'm hoping that it will give me the strength to once again live the life I want to live and tackle what life throws at me! Love you all, thanks for checking in on me!
Here is the link to donate:
paypal.me/TimMorse111
I've been very sick the last 8-9 months. I don't think I have anything terrible, I just FEEL terrible...
Last Fall I finally got a reliable car, a 1999 Honda Accord! It's given me a renewed wanderlust, and in September and October of last year that I enjoyed immensely traveling all over the Northwest! In the first 5 weeks, I put over 3,500 (6,000 km) miles on the car, going as far east as Helena, Montana (over 600 miles/1,000 km from Seattle!), back and forth to Spokane a time or two, visiting family in Eastern Washington State, and ending with a trip to Portland, Oregon the first weekend of October.
I was so excited to have a car that I think I may have physically worn myself out! In all seriousness, on October 7, I was supposed to drive to Portland for a conference with the church, but began to feel under the weather the day before. From that time until the beginning of March, just shy of 5 months later, I was sick the ENTIRE time! It was very challenging just getting up in the morning and making it to work, church and other events. I was constantly coughing, feeling terrible and feeling very discouraged because I just didn't have the energy to do much of anything.
Though I am feeling much better than I was, I still don't feel well. AT ALL! I've been thinking about how I've not been eating the way I should, not getting as much exercise as I should, even though I am typically getting in about 8,000 - 9,000 steps every day. About two months ago, I weighed myself at the gym and it was a very shocking 366 pounds (166 kg)!! I was in total disbelief! How in the world did this happen??? Couldn't have been the gummi bears or peanut clusters! Okay, maybe it was...
The good news was that I was just re-re-re-re-starting a workout regimen that I was hoping that would bear some good fruit in my physical life as well as have positive side effects in my spiritual and emotional life as well. That was until I tweaked my back really bad after my last trip to Spokane a month ago. I'm just now starting to feel more or less back to normal. But I'm not anywhere near where I want to be....
Back at the beginning of the year, our church leader Joel encouraged me to watch a movie called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." My initial thought was, "Okay, whatever. Another feel good story... blah blah blah...." But I couldn't stop thinking about it, so a few weeks after I asked him about the name of the movie again and I decided to watch it.
I was pleasantly surprised about how inspiring this man's journey was from his suffering from a serious autoimmune disease, to total health! It sounded almost too good to be true. I really wanted to give it a try, but life just got in the way, money was an issue, and it would just be difficult to do. But because it dealt with juicing, more specifically a total juice fast, I had confidence that it was healthy, similar to the fast in Daniel 1:11-15 in the Bible. I encourage you to read it, it's very interesting!
Briefly, "Joe" went to a doctor before he started, and every 10 days during his fast, to track his blood numbers to make sure he was experiencing a steady and healthy change.
I also have consulted my doctor and have gotten the green light to start this journey as well.
But this is very scary.
This is a very radical lifestyle....it's such a drastic change! One of the things that "Joe" mentioned in other videos he has made was that the first 5 days are extremely challenging. I've fasted before but never more than about 3 days. He emphasized that if you can make it past the first 5 days, your body is no longer hungry. It adapts and gets used to the nutrients in the juice it's being fed.
So, I have decided to start my journey back to health this coming Friday, June 30th, just 2 1/2 days from now! And I am asking you if you would like to be part of this journey with me. Here are some things I would be incredibly grateful for:
1. Prayer, good thoughts and vibes! - I'm going to need all of this I can get!!!
2. Encouragement! - Calls, Facebook messages,text messages, responses to my blog posts, etc.
3. Join Me! - Now or later, let me know if you'd like to do this with me!
4. Accountability! - Ask me how I'm doing, it only takes a few seconds. Or as much time as you want to give.
I plan on blogging my way through this process. I expect the first few days I will write every day, but I may continue to blog a little every day to just document the process and my experience. I'll decide that after the first five days...
But this is such a huge step for me. I expect this to be a total reboot for me physically, spiritually, emotionally and even for my relationships. Even though I have tried to remain positive for the last few years, I find myself failing more often than I like. Seeing that I'm becoming more negative. Experiencing physical pain in my body, and having a hard time doing the most basic tasks. Yes, I'm fat. But I've had so many challenges in the past few years, I'm just tired. I need a total reset.
Now, I just need to get through the first five days!!
So, the reason I've decided to start this weekend is that I don't want to be around a bunch of people this weekend if I'm going through caffeine withdrawals, sugar withdrawals, food withdrawals, headaches, hunger, etc. I'm trying to minimize my affect at work where I'm expected to be nice to people on the phone! Hahaha! Just trying to be real...
So the first day (Friday) shouldn't be horrible. Tough, yes, but hopefully not horrible. Days 2 and 3 are Saturday and Sunday where I can put myself to bed if I'm getting too cranky! Ha! Day 4 is Monday, where I will have to be nice to people at work. Pray for me! But Day 5 will be July 4th and I will have the day off. Again, I can put myself away for a little while so I don't make any enemies. 😀
I'm also open to your thoughts... Do you think I should be more active and busy during the tough days to be distracted so time goes by more quickly? Or do you think I'm better off removing myself from society for the benefit of peace in the land? I'm not sure which is possible or better. Feel free to respond here or on Facebook.
According to "Joe", after day 5 he experienced a tremendous increase in energy. And this has been supported by many of his followers that have tried this method.
So my personal goal is 30 days. THIRTY. No food for a whole month! If I can just get through those pesky first 5 days!
So finally here's where it gets very uncomfortable for me. God has blessed me with some great things over the past year especially. I have a great job that covers my bills, but not much right now for a lot of extra expense. My doctor gave me one caveat for starting this juicing diet. He felt very strongly that I should join the group's support network, which would give me access to others that are doing the fast, as well as nutritionists, doctors, and other resources. Here's the link for the group if you're interested in learning more.
https://shop.rebootwithjoe.com/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwhMjKBRDjxb31j-aesI4BEiQA7ivN-D0vPGGV0zcvqtyjFN9WalVeEHUDttg2rk9a_bKAavgaAqjq8P8HAQ
I agreed that I would join, but then learned that the 30-day program was financially not in the realm of possibility for me at $289.00. On top of that, I recently bought a good used juicer that I paid cash for and the cost of the vegetables and fruits for the juice is about $15-$20 per day. My current food budget is is about half of the upper end of that estimate. So, I'm asking for loans. That's right. Loans.
Now, to be clear, if you want to *give* me money out of the kindness of your heart, I would gladly accept that. However, I have a plan in mind that I should be able to pay back all loans by the end of the year. I'm looking for a total of about $500 to cover *some* of the cost of the food and most of the cost of the support network. If you feel generous enough to give, please send me an email at timmorse@outlook.com if you would like to be paid back. Even $5 or $10 would help me immensely!! Anything will help!
Thanks so much if you've read this entire post. I'm very excited for this opportunity to essentially start all over again in many areas of my life. I'm a very vibrant, lively man and I miss my old energy. I don't for a minute expect this will be a fix for all my problems, but I'm hoping that it will give me the strength to once again live the life I want to live and tackle what life throws at me! Love you all, thanks for checking in on me!
Here is the link to donate:
paypal.me/TimMorse111