Soviet Memorial and Memory Lane

So I'm going to do things a little bit backwards today cuz it was just a good day...  I like to keep things fresh and mix it up every once in a while. :) I will go back in time soon to go over my first week later, but for now, I would like to share my day with you today...

Last week before I left Seattle I was praying for a place to live when I arrived here in Berlin.  Now it's probably good that I give you a little background... I first came to Berlin for Labor Day 1986 when I was 16 years old.  When we were living in another part of Germany, my dad and stepmom wanted to have a weekend for themselves, so they said they'd let me take a weekend trip with the base tours, they asked me where I wanted to go.  I said Berlin, and they agreed that would be okay.  1986 was still the cold war era.  Berlin was still split between East and West with a big crazy wall between the halves.  I'm so glad I came then, as a 16-year old to see a city divided by a wall and political and social ideology.  I got to go through Checkpoint Charlie and the whole bit, it was a very impactful weekend and I had a blast!.Who knew that trip would still impact me so many years later?

I also lived in Berlin from August until October 1992.

On thinking of my return to Berlin for the 3rd time, there was one memory that I had of my first trip nearly 27 years before.... there was this really impressive, cool but very weird Russian war memorial in the east I had seen that I was just fascinated by.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a communist, I don't worship the motherland, but nonetheless I was fascinated by this place.  So, when I was praying last week, this memorial came to mind... How cool would it be to live near the park where this was located and it could be my new prayer spot!  At the time I prayed this, I didn't realize how cool the area was near the park....  At any rate, God certainly blessed my prayer, it's only about a 15 minute walk there from my apartment! I am pretty sure it would have taken me longer than that to walk to Home Depot from my house in Spokane for those who knew where I lived there.

Now, I didn't see too many rooms for rent in this neighborhood, and besides, I completely screwed up the address and everything with the guy I ended up renting the room from.  There was confusion about the address, the name on the door to buzz to be let into the building, and frankly I just felt like a loser when I finally met him.  I was also about 10 minutes late, because the ad said it was a 10 minute walk from the subway.  It was over 20....  So I got here and I thought for sure the guy would say I was totally stupid and ask me to leave.  Amazingly, just exactly the opposite happened!  We had a great conversation and he confirmed it the next day that I had the room if I wanted!  Needless to say I said yes. It was also exactly within my budget and a very reasonable deposit....

So I had a great time praying there this morning, but I have to be honest, I was a bit distracted.  My first impression of this place is that it was weird, which it is kinda, but then I started thinking about it.  I read one of the captions on one of the limestone murals and it started to make some more sense.  Germany attacked Russia against an agreement they had and the mural had a caption that was a quote from Stalin that said that essentially Hitler wanted to enslave the Russian peoples and they felt forced to defend themselves.  Furthermore, I had to remind myself that Russia was an ally with US, France and Great Britain in World War II.  After the war, the allies forced Germany to be occupied by the Allied forces mentioned above.  The US had it's sector, so did Britain and France.  Russia also got influence over a very large piece, the eastern sector of the city. The same happened for the rest of Germany as well, with Russia occupying what became East Germany (the German Democratic Republic)   Now this is the part I'm not so clear on, but in essence, the Russian government heavily influenced the leaders in these sectors and eventually people hated the regime so much they began leaving East Berlin and East Germany for the western sectors.  This is why they built the wall, to keep people from leaving. (By the way, if any of you finds these facts to be inaccurate, please let me know and I will be happy to correct any facts or add any other information to this).

Anyway, I had a great time just praying and walking around the park this morning and remembering my first memories of my trip there in 1986.  I think the thing that really amazes me is that not only were the Russians not shy about building a very large monument to themselves, but the area it's built on is very large.  Real estate ain't cheap in Berlin. This area is hundreds of acres.  The statue is probably 100 feet tall or more and is very imposing and impressive.  It shows a very large, strong-looking soldier stomping on a swastika, holding a child in his arms, and the soldier is wearing a long flowing robe.... the hero!  Again, very imposing and impressive. I think it's interesting that God blessed my prayer to live here, not sure why... But I am still very moved, impressed and fascinated by this place.  I will definitely be returning there for more prayer times!

After leaving there, I went to the US embassy (which is RIGHT next to the Brandenburg Gate) so I could register with them that I am living here. Apparently they don't do that there.  I have to go to the consulate instead (they have both in the same city??).  So I took my opportunity to look around the BB gate a little and walk to the Reichstag (the German capitol building) just a few blocks away. Later, I was back downtown on the Kudamm at the Europa Center and I found a very interesting postcard. It was a picture of the Brandenburg Gate before the wall came down.  But something struck me about it, it looked exactly the way I remember it back in 1986, including one section of the wall that had been painted with 4 identical statues of liberty next to each other, but painted stylisticaly, and in different colors (see pics below).  It really helped bring back my first visit to Berlin so much more vividly.  Again, I was very impacted by this and the way this amazing city has changed over the past 27 years.  In the picture, there was nothing around the gate at all, it was kind of all by itself.  Now there are all kinds of buildings all around it, and up to a few feet from it.  This city really has changed a lot, I'm really blown away how much in 20 years.....I have already posted pics on facebook of the soviet war memorial, but I posted pics of the postcard and the monument as well below.

So, because I'm so close to this park that I knew used to be in the Soviet sector of Berlin (East Berlin), I looked to see where the wall was, and sure enough, I actually live two blocks inside East Berlin!  This is a really nice neighborhood and frankly I was quite shocked to discover this used to be on the other side of the wall.  I'm two blocks east of the wall AND two blocks north of the wall as well!  The name of the borough I live in is Alt Treptow.  I really love it here!

Well, I think that is enough for tonight.  Thanks for walking down memory lane with me.  Oh, by the way, I should include a link if you would like to see and read more on the soviet memorial. http://www.berlin.de/orte/sehenswuerdigkeiten/sowjetisches_ehrenmal_tiergarten/index.en.php and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_War_Memorial_(Treptower_Park)

Enjoy!

Why Hello, Berlin!!!

You cannot understand how poignant and significant to my life the title of this post is to me.  It's INCREDIBLY exciting and humbling to finally be in Germany, but it has been an absolutely grueling journey to get here.  First let me say, thank you God for allowing me to come here!!!  I not only believe this is your dream (hey, it was YOUR idea after all!), but it has also become my dream, the very thing I have lived my life working for over the past nearly two years of my life.  There have been some incredibly low and discouraging times, countless times I have simply had to "push through"...  Doing a remodel project at my age and in my shape (morbidly obese) was an incredible challenge, pushing me absolutely to, and beyond, my limits. I have pushed myself physically, spiritually to the point of exhaustion many days, to the point of poverty financially, and (I say to my shame) did not push me to my knees nearly enough.

I have felt very alone in a lot of ways the past couple years.  My plight was to do this remodel on the house,  which absolutely stole every bit of my spare time, spare money (ha! Who am I kidding, it was mostly on my credit cards...), and energy.  I absolutely poured myself out on that project. But again, the focus was to finish so that I coud eventually make it to Germany....

I posted the last time on this blog in Oct 2012, just about 6 months ago.  I'm sure there was a few minutes in that period of time that I would have posted something, but I feel comfortable that this blog simply was not much of a priority for me.  That being said, a lot has happened in the past 6 months, so as is my custom, you may want to get comfy as I have a lot to say again today.  Before you consider not taking the time to read this, I would encourage you to anyway.  God has done some really remarkable things and I really hope it will encourage you as much as it has encouraged me.  So here we go....

So I was able to get a few days off to see family for Thanksgiving in November and had gotten a free night's stay at Red Lion Hotel in Seattle also.  It was nice to get away from the house, the projects, the responsibility and dust...  It was great to spend time with mom and Russ and Owen, even if for a short time.  For that Saturday, I met up with Shane and another Tacoma brother at the LeMay Auto Museum and I was in heaven!!!  There were over 300 cars there and I'm sure I was leaving a path of drool behind me, seeing some amazing cars... a 1906 Ford Model N.  Model N?  What the heck is that?  It came before the Model T, and it was NOT built on an assembly line.  Awesome!  Saw a 1949 Tucker.  Tucker?  What is that?  There were only about 50 made and only 6 still are known to exist in the whole world.  They are SUUUUPER cool.  They had everything there...  I think Shane and this other brother were a little surprised, apparently I know a lot about cars and shared ALL of it with them that day.  At least they didn't tell me to shut up.... LOL.

From there, I had set up to meet some of the "mature" singles at Cheesecake Factory in downtown Seattle, but I had to check into the hotel first.  The free night I got there included $39 for parking, that was the only way I would have been able to do it.  I got checked in, took my bags to my room (top floor with view of the city and Puget Sound, thank you very much) and went off to meet up with the singles.  I was running a bit late, but as soon as I walked out the door of the hotel it hit me.  I stopped for a moment and took in the sights and sounds of Christmas in the city.  Christmas music played, the trees were lit and it was dark.  Thousands of people were milling about the city.  I took a deep breath and thought how I loved the city.  My second thought was "Why do I still live in Spokane?" LOL.  At any rate, we had a very encouraging time and got to see Kathy Meyer Estabrook, Lyn Lauzon, Eric Blumer and Chelsea Lauzon.  Then I went back to my very schwanky room at the top of the Red Lion.  God is so good to me.

I wasn't able to get off enough time over Christmas to see family, so I stayed in Spokane. My stomach hadn't felt well for a few days, but it was nothing too serious. So I was invited over to the amazing Omneris and Alberto Bisono's home to celebrate a Puerto Rican Christmas eve dinner with their family and the food and company were really amazing.  Omneris is such a great servant and sweet friend, what a great memory it was.  However, on Christmas morning, my stomach problems came to a head.  I was soo sick and naseous!  I had an invite to go over to the Bannings for dinner and by the time I was to go over, I felt just well enough to go.  The prime rib was amazing, so was everything else for that matter.  Got to spend time with the McCunes, too, super encouraging. Even though I was not able to spend time with my physical family for the first time in 43 years, it was still a good Christmas...  and I got sick on my day off so no attendance points for work.

So, I have been very grateful for my job at Xerox/ACS doing reservations for Red Lion and selling tix for Ticketswest.  With that said, their attendance policy totally made me struggle, not for any other reason that they had to set their rules based on the fact that a lot of people took advantage of the system.  At any rate, I was let go on Feb. 8 because I had called in sick on the 5th and 6th.  I was very ill on the 5th and couldn't even get up to go to the doctor because I felt so horrible.  I did go on the 6th and got a dr's note, but it wasn't enough to keep me from getting the full two attendance points.  It put me at 7 points exactly, where they would determine if I should stay or go.  The decision was made by someone in another city, not by someone who knows how I work with customers or with my co-workers.  Needless to say, the day before they let me go, I was a little bit ticked off.  3 days later about 1.5 points was to drop off and there would have been no issue.  I couldn't control how sick I was or when I got sick.  The only conclusion I could come to was that God allowed it to happen this way.

Then it occurred to me that maybe this was God's way of saying, "It's okay Tim, it's time to get ready to go to Germany."  Suddenly, my attitude changed.  I couldn't wait for them to can me, in fact, my manager didn't call me in until 6 hours into my shift and I was a little annoyed it took so long.  I think my manager was a bit shocked that I seemed cheery about the whole thing...  Oh well... So then I had to get busy!

So I started putting my stuff up on ebay, craigslist, giving stuff away, finishing the dining room project and dozens of others around the house.  I also opened up my house for a "moving sale".  In March in Spokane, a moving sale basically means, "come on in to my house and buy my stuff!"  That felt a bit weird, but God certainly blessed it.  I made about $500 the first day and about $300 the second day.  Two people even came back a couple days later and bought my stereo and other stuff.

Shortly before the moving sale, I had put my 1978 Honda Civic up for sale on ebay.  It only reached $800, which I was very disappointed in.  It didn't sell because I had a higher reserve on it.  But I did receive a message from a gentleman from Canada and he offered me $100 on top of my reserve amount if I would drive the vehicle to him in Canada.  Luckily he only lived about 120 miles away.  Now, my Civic was in very nice shape for the year, but it was a 35-year old car that has not been restored or had the engine rebuilt.  I did an oil change and changed the coolant and did a lot of praying!  God blessed it and got it there in one piece!  The gentleman gave me a ride back to Colville, about 35 miles away, then I took a bus back to Spokane.  Yay! One down, three to go...

Then I decided to put my van up for sale on ebay.  Once again, crash and burn....  So I decided to put it up on craigslist and within a few days it sold.  Before I could sell it, it needed to be put back together from a project I started nearly 3 years before.  Either way, that van was so clean and nice!!!  Got $1300 for it and now it will be used by someone who is going to use it for his new skaters shop!!!  So cool.  He loves the van and I'm glad it went to a good owner.

I had been praying about getting these cars sold because this was the money I would be living off until I can find work in Berlin.  Without these selling, my dreams of going to Germany just weren't going to happen. So, then I decided that ebay has not been the way to go to sell cars, and since my time was running short, I should maybe at least try to sell my 72 Honda N600 locally on craigslist.  I put it up about 8am on a Monday and it was gone from my home by 10:30am!!!!  I was not prepared for how I was to feel about selling the car that for the last 15 years I had called "my baby".  I took lots of pictures of it as they were pulling it out of the garage and putting it on the tow truck. He said the next time I'm back in town, he would love to let me drive it. It has not driven in the past 15 years because the engine needed to be rebuilt so I can't wait for that. The guy who bought it said that he never checks craigslist on Monday mornings because he has to take his daughter to school.  For some reason, he didn't need to that morning, so he saw the ad!  Now, certainly just to have buyers for these cars is one thing, but it's completely another that the people that bought them did not want to tweak them out, but to restore them and make them the way I had wanted to, but I just didn't have the money or time to do so.  That was a real gift from God that these cars would be well cared for.  I'm a car guy, it was important to me....

Finally, I needed to figure out how to sell my 98 Honda CR-V. This was a bit different situation, because I needed the car up until the day before I flew out...  But I was confident God could hook a brother up.  About a week before I was heading to Seattle, a brother posted on facebook that he was looking for a car.  I told him that I would be in Seattle the next week before I flew to Germany, and he said he would be interested in the car. We met, he test drove it and he said he and his wife wanted to buy the car.  We met on a Friday and I was needing the car until Sunday, so he said that's fine, paid me the full amount of the car on Friday and said I could keep it for the weekend and we could still exchange on Sunday....  Well if that's not God, I don't know what is... Seriously....  I was so blown away.  Sunday came, car exchanged hands, and I was just about ready to go.

So I have to also mention that before I left Spokane, the disciples put together a going-away party for me at the church.  Amber made a Black Forest Cherry Cake for me and her family made me some Mexican food (which I didn't think there would be much of in Berlin, they didn't have 20 years ago anyway).  I shared the story of why I'm going and there was much sharing...  I had requested that people share experiences they had had with me that made an impact on them.  It was one of the most encouraging times of my life hearing the stories of how people saw me and our relationships.  Mark McCune pointed out it was one of the most moving sharing times he's ever seen in over 20 years in the church.  I was blown away....

Well, after that, the reality set in.  I had to get the house ready for the tenants to move in. There was a lot of stuff to take to Goodwill, lots of trash and a thousand details to attend to.  The next 4 days or so were very difficult.  Trying to get everything done was exhausting.  One night, on 4/1, I was super stressed. I had hoped to be gone on that day, but the touch up paint for the living room was the wrong sheen, so you could see very clearly all the touch up spots.  Ugh.  So I called the amazing Ryan Baldwin for advice, and wouldn't you know it, 5 or 6 amazing friends showed up to paint, clean and help out.  By this time, I was so exhausted I could barely function.  Their help made it possible for me to get out of town.  It was still 2 more days before I could get it all done, but their help was amazing!!!  Even without their help, I didn't think I would ever get out of town.

When I did finally have the car all packed up, it was time to say good-bye to Wolfi.  My heart was totally broken having to say good-bye to my little buddy of 8 years.  I love that little dog so much.  All he wanted was for me to scratch his tummy.  He had figured out a week or so before that something was up.  He's such a smart dog. It was so hard to say good bye to him, for days he had seen me from 10 feet away through the fence moving stuff, packing up the car, etc. He went to the neighbor's house on 4/1 and you could just see in his eyes, "What are you doing, daddy, why can't I come home?"  Totally broke my heart.  Actually, I do think he's happy.  He has two humans that love him (one of my neighbors wanted a German Shepherd, the other wanted a Border Collie, so they both got what they wanted) and they take him for walks, but even more importantly, he has a little dog buddy that he can play with during the day.  They are really fun to watch, they have a great time together.  I couldn't give that to him.... Here's a link to a video I put on youtube of Wolfi and Joey playing if you'd like to see my sweet little dog.  Wolfi is the bigger one with the red on his face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eXxpemR7yk

So, when I was all ready and was leaving Spokane it occurred to me that for the first time in well over a year and a half, I didn't have to spend time and money on some project on the house and that I could, for the moment at least, take a deep breath.  It was so encouraging not to be enslaved to my house.  I love my house.  I've never lived anywhere more than 3 years in my life and I was there for 9!  Very bittersweet, but I'm glad someone else is able to enjoy all the hard work I've put into it.

Well, due to the length of this post, I am going to stop here and continue tomorrow with the flights and Berlin details.  They will be lengthy enough themselves because God has not failed to continually amaze me with everything here.  At any rate, if you made it this far, thank you for reading.  I'll finish up soon... I promise!!!  Bis bald!

The Roller Coaster Ride Continues

I love being a disciple!  God does not let me just go through my life unaffected by circumstances, nor does he sit back idly and let me get comfortable.  He is actively working in my life and my heart to make me the man he wants to be... hopefully more and more like his son every day.  (I still have a LOOOONG way to go, just in case you were wondering!)  LOL!

The reason I started this post out the way I did is simple.  A few days ago, I thought I had a few things figured out.  Well, that's not so much the case.  LOL!!!  God has such a great sense of humor!  I still stand by my last post, however, it has come to my attention through the help of a friend, that selling my house may not be the best situation for me right now.  Come to find out, the costs of selling my house are considerably more than I had anticipated, which means the sale of the house would most certainly mean losing thousands and thousands of dollars, which would leave me having even more debt....  So I am getting some advice as to whether I should scrap the idea altogether now and wait for a more opportune time.  Either way, I need to make the decision VERY soon as finances continue to be a challenge.

I have been starting to immerse myself in things German.  At work we often have time between phone calls to do some surfing on the internet, which management has ok'd.  As long as it's appropriate and the websites have been approved.  So I have been reading articles in German and just looking around on msn.de.  It's been so much fun!  I'm getting very excited about my dream!!!  At the same time, I also understand that Germany is not the same place I left so many years ago. I am not wanting to go to Germany because I think it will be easy or fun (although I do hope it's LOTS of fun), I'm going because I want to be used by God there, in whatever ways possible.  And I'm hoping that it will help me to rely on God more than I ever have before. It's scary, but at the same time, it's very exciting!

I've also been very encouraged by my new bible talk.  I'm very inspired by the Baldwins, their love for God and others, their integrity and convictions.  I'm excited to learn more and be more in and for the group.  I really want to become a better disciple and I really want to be used for God's Kingdom, prayerfully one day even in a ministry capacity.  Help me, God!  Please pray for me to wrap things up here, to sell my cars, and liquidate the vast majority of my possessions.  I would also like prayers for a job opportunity in Berlin.  I'm hoping to begin working for a hotel or other internaitonal situation where I could use my language and service skills.

Thank you everyone for your support and love.  I really would appreciate your prayers for God to make his will obvious. Look forward to adding more soon!

A LOT of Catching Up to Do....

So tonight I could barely remember my login and password to this blog... Well I finally figured it out again, and to my horror, it has been 11 days short of a year since my last entry!  All I can say to that is WOW....  In the meantime, my life has been incredibly busy, I have been physically, mentally and financially tapped out but at least I am doing okay spiritually.  And working on it....  So, I'm trying to somehow synopsize EVERYTHING that has happened in the past 355 days.  I'll try to keep it as "brief" as I can. Brief is a relative term.

First of all, my discovery of the elapsed time since my last post confirms my other epiphany a few weeks ago that this calendar year is quickly coming to a close.  I swear it just seems like 3 months ago that I was thinking "2011, don't let the door hit you on the way out!"  That was over NINE months ago!!!! This year has gone incredibly fast.

When I last posted ( I had to look back to see what I was actually doing then....)  and it's kind of old news now, but I was able to fly to San Francisco on Nov. 30 last year to take my German proficiency test on Dec.1.  So, I was able to take a long weekend and got a room at the Red Lion Hotel in Oakland and rode the subway into the city. I took the test and it was about 5 hours long.  They offer 6 tests, from basic German to fluency.  They suggested I take the 4th or 5th test, and so I opted to take the 5th (next to highest) and I was tested Reading Comprehension, Listening Comprehension, Essay, Speaking and Speaking in a Group.  I did very well on every part of the test, except Reading Comprehension. Need to work on that.....  Either way, I passed the test!!!  I was so excited that after 19 YEARS, God still allowed me to remember so much German.

And for the next few days, I was able to enjoy old friends and the city of San Francisco (also an old friend since my dad was stationed at the Presidio and I came to visit during the summers of 1979 and 1980 as a child). On Friday Dec. 2, I was able to spend some time with a very dear friend, Cristill Cox (formerly Dooley) and her awesome husband Brad.  They treated me to an afternoon in Napa Valley and to a very fancy dinner at Michael Chiarello's 4-star Bottega restaurant, in Yountville.   SOOOO spoiled.  We also visited Domaine Chandon Winery where we took a tour and also enjoyed some glorious December weather, 75 degrees! on their patio.  What a great memory to spend such special time with such great friends! You guys are amazing! Thank you again so much!

So the other big story of the last year of my life, as many of you know, is my dining room remodel.  It was the absolute bane of my existence for nearly 15 months, my first pictures being taken on 6/23/11 and my House Re-Warming party taking place on 9/9/12.  I really wanted to do it right, I didn't want to be half-heartedly putting the room back together with inferior work or products (and trying to spend as little money as possible at the same time).  Between removing layer after layer after layer of flooring in the dining room and kitchen, after re-wiring, re-venting, brand new east wall in the dining room, restructuring, re-siding, drywall (UGH!), seemingly unendless sanding, texturing, priming, mutiple layers of paint, flooring, removing and reinstalling cabinetry, etc. etc. etc., I finally finished enough to start using the room again on 9/8/12! Hallelujah!! 

The project, however, was incredibly grueling.  Not being as young anymore and carrying a lot more weight than I should be, made this a very challenging proposition.  I struggled through anger, despair, frustration and mostly very little help (except Ryan G who spent a ton of time helping to put down tile, and helping dismantle my kitchen!).  So after spending more than twice my "budget" for the rennovation, and dealing with problem after problem after problem, I was finally able to sit down on 9/9 after my party and take a breath! It felt incredible. The project had taken its toll on me in a lot of ways, even spiritually.  I am happy to say that I feel much better now in all areas, but still have lots of work to do to get back to abnormal! There are still a few items to finish up, like trim before I can call the project "done" officially, but for all intents and purposes, it's usable!

The biggest thing I have learned through this process is literally one of the most poignant lessons I have ever learned.  I have learned, in a nutshell, that the American Dream is not God's dream, in fact it's quite the opposite.  I feel enslaved by my possessions.  It's become obvious to me that my possessions owned me in a lot of ways and not the other way around.  I see that everyone around me has that desire to own this or that... a house or a new car or the latest electronic device or gadget.  What I learned about myself is that, to a certain extent, I only owned those things to be seen a certain way by others.  Sure, it makes monetary sense to own a home, but the slavery it also causes is just not worth it.  For the last year plus, I have not had money for food (although I've eaten, I have also gone further into debt.) and I don't have any money to go do anything fun. So, it has been kind of discouraging looking at the home that I live in and know that if I'm really honest with myself, I simply cannot afford to live here any longer.

My dream has been to go to Germany, to study and help out our sister church in Berlin in any way that I can.  Since God has allowed me to still be able to speak German so well, even after 20 years since my return from there (as of 10/3/12), it really makes me think that God is trying to move me away from Spokane (as well as numerous other reasons) so that I can use that gift he has given me to help out in some way in our church there. 

The plan has been, thus far, to go to school.  That is still the plan, however now I am thinking that I would like to get a job and move over in January 2013 and possibly start with school in Fall 2013.  Unfortunately I just found out that the school I want to attend is not recognized by the US Federal Financial Aid, so I am now also trying to figure out how to get grants, stipends, and scholarships to pay my way.  School itself should be relatively cheap, but room, board and other expenses will likely be significant there. We'll see what God says about that.

So, here's kind of the culmination of everything that I have written in the blog today, as well as the culmination of a lot of time, money, sweat and effort that has gotten me to this point over the past year or more:  I have decided to sell the house and the bulk of my worldly possessions to, God willing, make my Germany dream come to reality.  Too many nights have I dreamt of Germany, even to the point of tears of missing my 2nd homeland SO MUCH, that I was actually depressed for a few days!  I have learned in no uncertain terms that THIS is my dream, and this is who I am. I am praying for God to make his will clear, but I want to be "all in", to hold nothing back.

With that being said, I am also very humbled by a passage of scripture in Acts 5, where a man and a woman, Ananias and Saphira, were selling property to give to the church (what a sacrifice!!!!) and they agreed with each other to lie about the price to keep back some of it for themselves.  By doing this, God struck them dead because they lied about it.  This is a very humbling scripture, because as much as I want to get rid of everything now, I think there will likely be a few things that I do keep.  I am trying to be very careful to not carelessly say, "I'm getting rid of everything" because that's not true. I am however getting rid of the vast majority of all my possessions so that I can serve God and not be burdened by "stuff".  I hope you understand the heart behind this, if not, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to discuss with you. I'm so excited for this aspect of my journey.

There is a lot more to say and there are dozens of other stories I could tell you, but I think I will leave it there for now.  You know, I started this blog over 2 1/2 years ago.  My goal was to reinvent myself and the initial focus was mostly on my physical body, which I do still plan to work on, but I'm learning now that I need to start with my heart and my character first.  I need to trust God more deeply than I ever have before.  I can no longer be complacent or fearful of ANYTHING.  I must live like Jesus really is my Lord. I have to put my money where my mouth is... Put up or shut up, and let my life do the talking!  After considering all these things, despite still being extremely busy, I can honestly say I'm happier than I've been in a long time.  Now that's what I call "reinventing" myself!

My prayer is that God will be glorified through these things!

Trader Joe's Spokane & Halloween 2011

Hey all, thanks for looking in! It's been quite an eventful last week or two (or 16!). It's finally here, Trader Joe's has officially opened in Spokane! After 9 long years of waiting, they opened last Friday, 10/28!!! So, thanks to a friend of mine who is a cameraman for KREM 2 news, he mentioned that he would be at the opening a little early, about 5:30a.m. I thought that instead of trying to go after work (6pm), maybe it would be better to go before it opens... So I got up about 5:30 and was at the store just past 6:30. It was pretty cold and dark when I got there, probably a little above freezing... I was a little bit surprised to see only about 15 people ahead of me. So we waited about 1 hour 20 minutes and they opened the doors about 5 minutes early! By the time they opened, I was pretty cold, despite Forza providing some free coffee... and the line had stretched at least 100 yards and it was a few people wide. Even John Myers showed up and I (and the awesome people around me) allowed him to cut in line.

I grabbed a cart, which was a feat in and of itself, and was met by the applause of all the employees and was given a lei! Within just a few minutes, it became clear to me that it was getting crowded fast! I grabbed 6 or 7 items, especially frozen items, and decided to try to be the first to check out. I was convinced that I was first, but then later found out that two of the guys I was in line with were the first two. I think I was Spokane's #3 Trader Joe's customer. I was interviewed in line with another lady by KREM's Erik Loney and again when I was checking out and they actually used excerpts from both interviews in their broadcast. Mom seems to think I'm a celebrity now. I don't think so, not by a longshot... But tons of fun nonetheless.

After about 7 minutes in the store, I exited through the throng entering the store. I was parked right across the way and was almost run over by a lady in a newer green CR-V who was not paying attention and waving at someone. Sheesh!!! When I got to my car, this guy approached me very non-chalantly and started asking me some questions. I noticed his jacket had a small "Inlander" logo on it and he confirmed that was where he was from. After I got home, I unloaded my plunder and soaked it all in. FINALLY!!! I can go to TJ's anytime I want now!! Here are the links to the news reports:
http://www.kxly.com/localvideo/index.html?v=27694
and
http://www.khq.com/category/195686/video-landing-page?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=6396016#.Tq3Gv5jxFRI.facebook

The next day we had the Singles and Campus' Halloween Party. It was really fun, it had lots of cool decorations, contests, X-Factor-like eating challenge, pumpkin carving, dancing and a costume contest. This year, I bought the most epic costume EVER... woopie cushion!!! My favorite costume!!! I really shouldn't have spent the money, but the reactions were worth it! Priceless!!!! I loved getting hugs from everyone at church, because I had to make the noises. Just had to!

So a quick update on the progress with the possible move to Germany.... I contacted the Goethe Institute in Atlanta (was the only one open at the time I called at 6am -- don't ask...) Anyway, they sent me the placement test to determine which program placement test I need to take. I took it and out of six levels, they said I should take #4 or #5 (#6 was basically a native speaker)! I was so encouraged after 19 years that I still remembered so much German! Thanks God! I found out that I can't take the placement test at UW/Seattle unless I want to wait until late May. Ugh! I may have to go to SF, CA to take it (likely the cheapest option). Anyway, I will keep you all updated as I know more.

Until then, buenos nachos!!! LOL!!!

The Effects of Reinvention

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. And when you're busy reinventing yourself. I am not saying this tongue-in-cheek, I'm serious. So between "remodeling" (rebuilding?) my dining room, trying to find and register for a school in Berlin, working, living my regular life, writing a book, and dealing with my ministry; I am feeling a little pushed to the limit these days.

On the dining room, I am making good progress these days. I have finished the east exterior wall that we tore down and rebuilt. Just primed and painted the new siding this past week and all I need to do now is to caulk the seams and figure out how to tie that wall in with the south wall. It's pretty complicated that old shingle siding... boo!

The next challenge on the project is the floor. It is AMAZING to me how many layers of flooring I have removed and all indications point to having to pull out even the existing floor structure. This is not good news. The good part about it is that I should be able to make sure the kitchen and dining room floors will be flush with each other. Hopefully....

So that's the bad. Here's the good... I am excited about the possibility of moving to Germany. There is so much to do in a relatively short period of time. I sent an email to a business school in Berlin and they wrote me back that they need to clarify some information. The college that I went to was a branch of the University of Maryland, but it was in Munich, Germany. It closed and moved in 1993 to another city. A few years later that campus also closed and now there is no "campus" for U of M in Germany. They do hold classes on most larger bases in Germany, but the school was not able to confirm the school was accredited, so that's my first task, to confirm it is...

Secondly, I need to take an exam to test the level of my German skills to see if they can place me in their program. By the way, I am hoping to enroll in their International Business BA program which would start in April 2012. I would need to have everything completed and send in my application to the school by December 15.

Lastly, I need to figure out financing. I would like to get the German financing, but will also keep American options open as well. I would also need to look into a study visa and see if I can work while I'm living there. I think I would need to have at least some income....

Honestly, I have been really looking forward to going to Germany. Almost to the point that I think I would be very discouraged if it didn't work out. I believe I will go but have been praying that God stop the process if it's not his will.

At any rate, I am mostly encouraged by everything and will need to somehow muddle through some of these websites and continue to get much advice. Please be praying for me and I look forward to keeping you up to date on everything... Bis hoffentlich bald!

A Very Challenging Past Couple Months, and Lots of Good Stuff, Too!

Hey all!
Thanks for your patience in waiting for my next post. There has been a lot on my mind lately and I have honestly not had the mental or physical energy to sit down and put it down into words. I don't know what this post will look like after I'm done, but I'm sure it will be full of interesting information for you!!! I am sure it will be pretty long though so strap in, grab your favorite beverage cuz here we go!!!

In the title of this post I mentioned that there have been some pretty serious challenges in my life. Don't worry, I'll explain, but it has been a roller coaster ride for me. As many of you know, I'm usually a pretty easy going guy, happy and well adjusted (most days anyway...). Well lately I have been feeling lonely and discarded, mostly by some of the people who I thought (and who said) they cared.

I am a Christian, a disciple of Christ (one and the same biblically, by the way), and our goal as Christians is to imitate Christ's life. Since the Bible says God is love and since Jesus was God, then you can deduce that Jesus was also love. The Bible clearly and often shows that Jesus was an incredibly loving and sacrificial man. The problem was that I assumed that his followers shared Jesus' heart. Now, I have to be careful here, because it is not my intention WHATSOEVER to portray my brothers and sisters in a negative way. I have spoken with these people and have shared my thoughts and frustrations and the anger I have felt as it has not felt like we are trying to be like this in Jesus in our ministry.

At one point, I was really hurting and was feeling like nobody in my group really was concerned about me. I approached one particular brother and shared with him that I just needed a friend to be there for me, just to call or check in with occasionally, like friends would. Just to see how I'm doing. I humbled myself and was basically begging him for help. He told me that it wasn't very attractive and for the next five or six weeks, not a peep. No phone calls, no emails, texts, FB messages, NOTHING. This is someone who said earlier this year that he looked up to me and respected me a lot. I was hurt, devastated.

I had a very challenging (for both of us) conversation with him, and shared with him that I cannot sit around and watch this ministry self destruct, while people walk away from God when we should be prioritizing people. I am not talking about just myself, but a myriad of situations that have happened in the past few years and I just could not sit back and watch it any longer.

The good news is that things have been improving, slowly, but I'm totally fine with that. I am convinced that if we call ourselves Christians, the only way we are going to win the world is to LOVE it. That was Jesus' way and that should be our way as well. I have much more to say about this topic which will continue to be addressed with individuals.

What I've taken away from this experience is multi-fold: 1. I need to rely on God, not men (not even my spiritual family). I am responsible for my life, therefore I need to approach God first EVERY time. 2. I don't think I am out of line to expect spiritual men and women to treat me like they would anyone else. The New Testament is replete with examples of loving and loving unconditionally. I hope to do some teaching to my ministry and maybe even a broader group. 3. I can only get my needs met through God. Without God I can do nothing spiritually good. 4. I need to persevere, no matter what the challenges. I look at examples like Job (because I've felt a little like that lately, only not to that extreme obviously). 5. If I don't do it, who will? Who will stand up for the little guy? Who will call men and women to truly FOLLOW Christ?

So the journey begins...

*******
On to other things... So, I got a job in January working for a hotel in reservations and also selling tickets (concerts, etc.) and I am really enjoying it. I do wish it paid more, but I believe that other opportunities will present themselves eventually. Until then, I will continue to enjoy and do my very best there. I really appreciate a company that has good people, good systems and people that are happy much more than not. It definitely makes the day a little nicer...

As a result of working for a hotel, I decided to take some time off in July to get out of town and go see some other scenery. So I went to Tacoma for a conference 7/8 and 7/9 and then drove to Eugene, OR and stayed at our hotel there. For free!!! Got up early the next day and drove to Ashland, OR to visit some great friends and go to our sister church there. Thanks to Tyler B, I had a super comfy place to stay and lots of great fellowship. Got a tour of SOU and had a great short hike/prayer walk up in an amazing park there.

On 7/11, I drove to Coos Bay, OR and stayed one night there, too. Again, for free. Went to the beach and just had a blast, what a beautiful place that was!!! Prayed and read and just soaked it all in. It was amazing!

on 7/12 I decided to take a drive up the coast from Coos Bay to Lincoln City, about 125 miles. Stopped at the Sea Lion Caves and about every 5 minutes it seemed like. I took dozens of amazing shots, one of which I hope to frame because it really came out beautifully! I was in Waldport, OR and was smitten by its beauty. Yachats was pretty amazing too, but my fave picture came from Waldport. I won't post it here because I don't want anyone stealing it for their own gain. Some of my other pictures I took are on Facebook.

I finally made it to Portland where I stayed at Jantzen Beach. Wow, that was a really beautiful hotel!!! I did have to pay for that one... about $46! Before heading home I found Trader Joe's in Vancouver, WA and stumbled onto Ikea and had to go in. I was pretty disciplined, but did spend about $40 there. Then drove home. I was only able to get 6 days total off work, would have liked to have a couple more, but I can't complain, it was a great trip. The weather almost the whole time was AMAZING! It rained in the morning on 7/12, but the sun came out very early and it was a gloriously beautiful day! The 225 miles from Coos Bay to Portland took me about 10 hours! But I enjoyed it so much. Prayed at this beach just north of the Sea Lion Caves and picked up a bunch of shell pieces. I was not in a hurry and was able to take time to see all that the Oregon Coast had to offer!

All tolled, I put almost 1700 miles on the car in 6 days. A little more driving than I would have preferred, but enjoyed it immensely nonetheless. My employer has very nice hotels and got great sleep and much relaxation in the rooms. Also got to use the hot tubs at Eugene and Coos Bay. Nice!

The other great thing I was able to do on the trip was to see my step-sisters, Becky and Chrissy, again after many years. Got to meet Chrissy's young daughter who was super adorable and funny. Got a chance to talk and catch up with each other. It was really a priceless time with them. Hope to be able to do it again *soon*. I also got to see a good friend briefly in Medford. It was really good to see him!!!

*******
Before I left on vacation, I started to tear out my dining room. I was concerned about possible health issues as a result of the environmental conditions there. My concerns seem to have been alleviated, but have been very busy with tearing out walls, wiring and just now, starting to put everything back together. I started by raised the ceiling from about 7' to almost 8'. I have almost finished framing the ceiling and have begun to rewire the room. With a little help from Scott K, my attic light, stairwell light, porch light and garage light are now working again after 16 months! Can't wait to tear out the multiple layers of flooring, then insulating, and putting up drywall, painting, trim, etc. I hope to be done by about 10/1. I'm really enjoying it and learning a TON! Pics are available on Facebook. Oh, and I found a new backsplash for my kitchen tonight, it's pretty awesome! That's one of the last things to worry about, but when I saw this stuff that was cheaper than most of the other options, I had to jump on it...

So finally, I have decided to look into opportunities inside and outside of Spokane. I am still in the midst of reinventing myself and I feel like I need to try something new. I will keep you updated if anything comes up. Please pray for God to open the doors that need to be open and to close doors that need to be closed. One possibility is school, I would like to go back and finish my Bachelor's degree. Would like business management or international business degree.

So, I think that wraps it up for now. Thank you so much for checking in on me and I appreciate that you have been patiently waiting for my next post. Now that things are getting better, I plan to do this more often, barring spending every waking moment working on my dining room! Buenos Nachos and until we meet again!