Busy but Encouraging Weekend & Week Ahead

It's been a really good weekend for me.  It's Monday night and it's just now coming to an end. Sad.  Well, Saturday was not terribly encouraging because I was still kind of getting over the last bit of my cold.  Now, I hope to be back, more or less, to abnormal.  :)  As usual, I have very much been looking forward to church because it's such a great opportunity to not only worship, but to also just see people I know and meet other new people.  It's super encouraging.  I'm really starting to feel like I really belong here.  I feel very embraced and "taken care of" by the members of the church.  So many have told me they are praying for me to find a job and not have to go back to the states.  That means so much to me, you can't even imagine.

Friday night we had a devotional at Connections which is always super encouraging.  There was probably about 30 people there which pretty much fills up their back room.  Afterward, I was planning on just heading home, but as we were passing "Doree" Steak House, some of the sisters invited us over to their table as we were walking by the restaurant.  So Steffen and I sat down with them and we had Anka, Christina Channell, Christiana, Cynthia and one other as well there (can't for the life of me remember now), but we sat around and ate pizza and laughed and had a good time.  The weather was amazing and even at 10:30 at night, it was really pleasant.

After service on Sunday, I was going to hang out with Steffen and some others to see Carnival of Cultures, which is a huge celebration with parades and food where all of the cultures in Berlin come out to show their stuff and offer their foods and sell stuff from their lands.  Sounds amazing, but with me just getting over a cold, felt like it might be too much for me on Sunday.  The day before, I had asked on facebook for anyone I know in Berlin if they are selling a bicycle or if they know of anyone who is.  One brother offered a bike he has but needs some work. I am totally happy to do that kind of stuff and he said that he would like to work on it together.  Sounds great!  So he and his wife invited me over to lunch after church and we sat out on his balcony in the amazing warmth of the May sun, ate lunch and just chatted for hours.  It was great!  Then we looked at the bike and I was surprised how nice it was.  It needed a couple things but honestly it didn't look too bad.  He is going to order some parts and hopefully in the next couple weeks I will have a bike to ride.  Thanks, God!

Also at church, I was invited to dinner by another brother who wanted to help me with my employment stuff.  His wife made a yummy tuna dish and we ate and he showed me some more hints on how to make my resume/CV exceptional.  We also went over how I should introduce myself and what I should say to people when I go into hotels to "market" myself.  I think I should be able to find work relatively quickly doing it this way.  That would seriously encourage my heart right now! (Not that it isn't already).  Anyway, I was very proud of myself because with free lunch and dinner, I only spent about $1.70 the entire day!!! Thanks again God for helping me watch my budget!

On Friday, the H.O.P.E. Senior Center in Berlin had their open house.  I had let them know that I would be interested in helping them, but when we got there, they didn't need help, per se.  It was really great to see some older folks have some place to go for fellowship, games, a cup of coffee and great volunteers to just share their lives with.  For the seniors that weren't able to go to the Open House, they have volunteers go to retirement homes to meet people there and to spend time with them.  I am very excited to start that in the next couple weeks sometime too.

I remember when I was still living in Seattle in 1999, we, as H.O.P.E. volunteers went to a retirement home in Juanita (right next to where I used to live) and I remember talking to this very sweet 86 year old woman who was from Cashmere.  I remember she didn't have much, but there was a small bowl of hard candies on her table.  I'm not much of a fan of hard candies, but I wasn't about to refuse this woman's offer. It meant a lot to her to be able to share those with me and another sister.  She told us this story:  It was sometime in the 1920's and living in Cashmere, which is near the mountains and very cold in the winter, her "bus driver" would heat large rocks on his wood stove at night and when they got into what is essentially a horse-drawn covered sleigh, he would put the hot rocks at their feet to keep them warm on the way to school.  That story has stayed with me over the last 14 years.  I don't think I'll ever forget that sweet lady or her amazing story. I do believe that is also the reason it has been on my heart to work with seniors ever since then, though I say to my shame that I didn't do anything about it in Spokane, even though a large retirement home was just a few blocks from my house.

Also at the Senior Center, I met this older man, Hans.  Hans looks to be about 75-80 or so and in exceptionally good shape for his age.  Very sharp mind and it actually looked like he might work out. Anyway, images of Jack Lalanne came to mind when I saw him.  Anyway, I told him that I applied for a job where the only thing in their requirements I lacked was experience using PowerPoint.  He said he could show me, so I will go there tomorrow and he's going to teach me how to use it!  Super cool!  It feels weird to go to a senior center to do it, but the H.O.P.E. people said it was totally fine.  And it's a free service, too!  Yay!  By the way, this guy totally reminded me of my good friend, Don C back in Spokane.  Now, Hans is significantly older than Don, but the likeness is pretty striking!  I sent Don an email about it, I hope it's not too  weird to share what with him what he might look like in 40 years.... LOL.

For the rest of the week, I have so much to do.  Spending the mornings marketing myself to hotels in tourist areas, re-writing my resume' and cover letters, getting a haircut, dressing up every day, etc.  Also, on Thursday, I will be going to a school here to see what the chance is for me to start classes in the Fall (as a possible option.  I would prefer to work, but would also really like to get my Bachelor's Degree, too) We'll see what God has in store for me in work/school.

This coming Saturday we will be doing a "hike" in NW Berlin (Spandau) which I'm very excited about. I hope that lots of disciples are able to come.  Also, Saturday is the final game of the European finals, Bayern München vs. Dortmund (two German teams!!) and I'm super excited to see that!  Also, my friend Ken will be here from Zürich!  I can't wait for this weekend!  It seems weird that I'm starting to feel busy now.  That's a really good thing!  I'm excited to start ramping things up in my daily life and in my personal ministry.

Well, I think that needs to be it for tonight.  Thanks for looking in on me!

I love "practicals"

What is a "practical", you say?  Well, as long as I've been a Christian, I hear our preachers talking about making the Word of God practical. They use this extremely important tool in sermons, because we can always use examples of HOW things work and not just listen to nice stories out of the Bible. That means essentially, "How does that look in someone's life?" or "How do I do that?".

Well, I had a great one this week, and just like every exceptional moment in one's life, it was just another ordinary day.  So I had gone for a long walk to find a gym, which I didn't find....  (story of my life in Berlin, right? LOL)  Anyway, so it was Wednesday, and I was moving pretty slow, but I was walking and finally stopped to wait for a bus.  I sat down in the warmness of the sun and was just waiting for the bus to arrive.  The sun felt great since I had been sick for the past 6 days, so I was really enjoying it.

As I looked up at one point, there was this lady riding her bike with a small dog in the basket on the front. The dog was looking forward, then around, then at it's mother.  It was almost like it was saying to her "Where are we, and where are we going, Mom"?  But since she was busy riding, the dog just sort of chilled out and looked like it just decided to enjoy the ride.  Yes, I witnessed all of this in the few seconds they were within my view.  Amazingly.

Because I had been sick, that I had a lot of "work" to do to market myself for a job, and that I hadn't gotten anything done this week, I was feeling stressed.  I was feeling like "God, I don't have time for this! Got a cold, got a little better, then got sick again.  Then later that very day, I got sick a 3rd time in a week with a stomach bug of some sort!!! This was clearly not in the plan.... LOL

I love dogs.  Always have.  Even as early as 5, I can remember having a dog.  Dogs are amazing creatures. They are fun, silly, cute, sweet, smart and very needy.  Needy is okay, but you know, you have to feed them, give them water and take them for walks, play with them, snuggle with them, etc.  Well, one thing I learned from having my dog Wolfi, was that most days, he just wanted to sit at my feet.  At the end of the day, he just wanted to be near his dad.  That's all he wanted and he was happy.

What I took away from the dog in the bike basket is that the little dog really didn't know where they were going, what would happen when they got there or how long of a ride it would be.  I realized that I was really that little dog.  Looking around, not knowing where I'm going to end up, but that, like the dog, just to enjoy the ride, not worry about it and just be happy that I have such a reliable and faithful God in control of everything.

So, basically I have come to the conclusion that yes, in fact, I do need to really put myself out there this week to market myself to hotels, but also that I don't worry and that I really do try to enjoy this amazing place God has put me. I also need to feed the relationships he has blessed me with here, and to help out however I can. Again, this is that delicate balance I have been trying to achieve since I arrived here. This has given me a tremendous amount of peace, because once again, all these things were completely not with
in my realm of control.  These are tests of my resolve to stay close to God and to completely trust him to bring me through.

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I'm very excited about next weekend because of a few things.  First of all, I'm hoping to go on my first "Volkswanderung" in like 25 years.  This is just an organized hike and when I was in high school, my dad and step-mom would go on them quite a lot and I got to go on a few, too. I believe that was the start of my love of hiking.  So far, I think I have 3 people coming.  Still have a number of people that haven't responded yet, so I'm sure there will be more than that. It's going to be in Spandau, which is just NW of Berlin.

Also next weekend, my good friend Ken is coming into town from Zürich, Switzerland.  Ken and I know each other from Spokane, where I helped him learn German last year for a month or two.  I was super jealous when he got a job in Switzerland, though, I have to be honest.   So anyway, this will be my first visit from someone I know from the States.  Ken and I became good friends during that time and we've been waiting to meet up since last year!  Super excited about that!

Thirdly, I am so excited to see the European Soccer Finals (no, this is really Tim here, I promise!).  My former hometown team, FC Bayern München, will be playing.  I even bought a FCBM scarf this week that I plan to wear proudly at the showing of the game!

Well, that's it.  That's it from the "basket dog", just waiting and watching AND enjoying!  Until next time!

There's Light at the End of the Tunnel!

Hey all!  Welcome back...  Well, it's day 38 of my time here in Berlin, almost half way point if I don't find a job...  I've gotta be honest, it's starting to get real now.  I need to find a job very soon!

Unfortunately, the past seven days has been a complete wash.  I've been sick and just have not had energy to do much. I was starting to feel better last weekend, but think I pushed it too hard and got sick again.  Hmph.  Yesterday I decided I wanted to get out of the house and had an appointment to look at joining a gym.  Well, it would suffice to say, they were just not very reasonably priced and I couldn't do it...  So I went looking for another place I had seen from the train, not too far away.  I once again ended up on a long walk. Never did find the place but did eventually figure out what I did wrong at least.  Oh well, will try it another time.

I ended up going to "Connections", the library, and got a chance to spend some time with Larry and Micah and Kati.  Kati is a not-quite two-year-old adorable little girl that Micah watches most days.  Kati and are buds now and the cool thing is that the family just lives a couple blocks away from me!  Anyway, I digress.... So I was sitting there at Connections and just generally wasn't feeling well (stomach this time, not the usual head/chest/sore throat crud) and I basically had to excuse myself from a conversation I was having with one of the regular visitors to the library.  By this time I was really starting to feel weak and thought I just need to get home.  So I left and was just starting to feel really awful.  Lots of stomach pain, headache, etc. I was really miserable with this round of whatever was coming at me.  I got home maybe around 6:30 or so last night and just laid around writhing in discomfort and wanting to just get sick and get it over with.  I was able to do a lot of sleeping, in fact, except for maybe 3 hours in between, I slept from 7pm last night until noon today. I guess my body was needing some serious rest!  So slowly today I have been feeling better. I made some dinner tonight, the first solid food I've had in me since about 2pm yesterday.  So far so good!

For those of you that know me well, I'm pretty much an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve and people can usually tell by looking at me what kind of mood I'm in.  LOL...  Anyway, I'm very grateful for this blog.  When I was in high school and college I used to write quite a bit.  Short stories, poems, stories for the school paper, etc.  This is the first time I have done serious writing in a long time. I am also the type of person that needs to be "open" about the stuff that's going on in my life.  As a Christian, I regularly confess my sins to people and in life I try to do much the same.  Writing gives me the ability to share my feelings (whether anyone is actually reading my blog or not, which you ARE!!!)  and experiences and it's very therapeutic for me.  If I feel frustrated about a situation, I get it out and I feel better. I need that.  This has been an incredibly fun and interesting time in my life, these past 38 days, but they have also been very challenging, too.  I just love being able to tell all of you, and anyone else that is interested in listening, what's up with Tim!

Now about the blog, I'm very curious about something.  You know us Americans, we need to have all the statistics and flow charts and such to see how we are doing.  I don't live by such things, but every once in a while, they are interesting.  Well, blogspot has a new (I think) feature that shows how many hits on the website, how many comments, etc.  I noticed they also track what they called the "audience".  This is basically the people that have been reading my blog, where they are, what web browsers they use, etc.  (Seems a bit much to me, but it's interesting I guess.)  Well, there has been an increasing audience for this blog in Russia. Right off the top of my head, I can think of two people that are friends of mine on Facebook (where I have mostly "marketed" this blog), but I'm getting nearly as many hits in Russia as I am from the US (and Germany needs to catch up, too. *ahem*)  LOL! Just kidding Germany.  :)  But seriously, I am very curious as to why that is.  If anyone is willing to say hi to me from Russia, I would be super encouraged. If you don't want to comment on this site, you can email me at amerigerman@gmail.com.  Thanks!

So with feeling lousy this week, and the mounting pressure to "perform" and put my name out there for jobs, and also starting to get a little concerned about money, I have been kind of struggling this week.  You know how it gets when you are sick.  I'm thinking to myself, I have all this work to do and just not having ANY energy to do it.  It felt beyond overwhelming!!!  But after today and getting some well-needed rest for my body, I'm feeling hopeful again. Still concerned about cash-flow, but still hopeful.  I also posted a response on someone's facebook post this week that was in sort of the "darkest hour" of my week.  I offended her pretty badly and I really hope she knows how sorry I am.  I'm convicted that I let my circumstances take over my attitude. I really hope she can forgive me, I feel terrible about it.

Please be praying for me to find a job.  I know God will bless my efforts here. All along this process I have striven to trust God, to not rely on my own strengths, my own comfort or understanding; I've sold nearly everything I had in order to be here.  If I can't make it work here, I'm not sure what I will do.  If after 90 days is up, I do have a return ticket to the US, but I really don't want to use it.  Even if I did go back, I just don't believe there's much of a future for me there. It's a long story....

For now, I'm just grateful that I'm feeling more healthy, that I have more energy and that I have my relationship with God.  I'm very excited for tomorrow because I get to have lunch with Matthias (he's been such a good friend to me), then we have a H.O.P.E. open house at the senior center which is near where I live.  I know I'll do much better after I have been able to spend some time with the old folks.  I love to hear their stories!  Then I think we have bible talk in the evening, too.  So, tomorrow should be very eventful and fun! I also get to meet up with Christian to pray in the morning.  That's always very encouraging, too!

That's it for now. Thanks for following the life and times of a crazy Ami in Germany.  I'm grateful for all of you, including those of you I have never met before (especially in Russia!) Have a great night!

The Crud

Hello again, it's me, your friendly neighborhood crazy American in Germany!  :)  So, Wednesday I started getting the dreaded sore throat and, being away from my apartment, there was not too much I could do to start the process of fighting it, so I figured I would just wait until I got home.  Back in the states, I would just take some Emergen-C, drink lots of tea and water, Dayquil, Nyquil, etc. and after a few days it would be good.  Well, they don't have those remedies here, so I did the best I could.  Needless to say I was down for the count all of Thursday and Friday and finally got out of the house on Saturday to do some shopping for some stuff I needed.  It really felt good to get out of the house, but could tell it was still a bit early for such adventures.   Thursday morning, I might add, I was getting dressed and somehow tweaked my back really good.  My lower right back has been feeling sore, but I must have moved just right because it really hurt.I slept a lot Thursday and Friday and tried to lay down only on my left side.  I couldn't get up when I tried sleeping on the right.  Oops. LOL  Anyway, I had been looking forward to church all week so that I could see people and get some fellowship in.  So Sunday morning, I still wasn't feeling 100%, but I decided to go and had great prayer time before and went.  

Now, I think I mentioned in my last post that they had the S-Bahn (local train service, NOT the underground lines) system was all messed up and couldn't figure out how to get to my destination.  Well, apparently, the same weekend, they decided to do the same with the underground, too.  From where I take the bus, it's only 3 stops, however, this weekend, my usual starting point was now the end of the line.  They put in a bus that takes the same route above ground, so it was pretty quick and painless, but my brain was having a hard time wrapping itself around the concept because of the head cold (that's my story and I'm stickin' to it).  Anyway, I got to church really early and service was really encouraging!  Gotta see my good buddy Matthias, who has been away most of the last two weeks and most of the rest of the gang too.  Apparently there was a married's retreat this weekend, so we didn't see most of them...  

Anyway, I mentioned a few weeks back that I met a brother from Iraq.  Yesterday, he looked like he was sitting all by himself at church, so I invited him over to sit by me.  He's about my age and seems like someone I might get along with well, so we decided to go to lunch after service.  After figuring out our way through the underground confusion, we finally found a bus.  I have to mention here and if you've been reading this blog, you know that I have gotten lost here.  A LOT.  So, I warned this brother ahead of time that whatever I tell him, tell me "No, Tim, you're wrong" and go the other way.  So we get to the place where we have to catch the bus and he says we need to go this way, I said, no I don't think so because we have to head north.  Well, this particular bus heads a few blocks the other direction and THEN heads north...  I realized I was wrong again and then (jokingly) chastised the brother for listening to me.  We both had a good laugh and due to his right thinking, we got to the restaurant.  We went to a falafel place and had a great talk over lunch.  

This brings up another issue I have been having here.  I don't recall ever having this problem in Munich and I definitely didn't have it in Spokane or Seattle.  But I realized that Berlin is a series of random roads going in totally random directions.  I didn't realize it, but it's super confusing trying to figure out which way I'm going, because I look at maps and say, "I need to go north from here."  Well, that's not always real obvious which way a road goes. LOL. When I went to meet the brother at the university a couple weeks ago, and came out on a huge traffic circle, I literally had to look where the sun was at to try to figure out which way to go.  I think when I get a job, I'm going to have to get GPS. In the states I always knew where I was and what direction I needed to go to get somewhere.  Oh well, not so much the case here I guess...

Well, that's enough for now...  Need to go try to get a workout in.  I don't have a gym yet, so I think I'll go check one out. Auf Wiedersehen!

Told ya so!!!

I blogged last night about the good vs evil, overcoming, etc.  Well, God has once again shown me who is boss.  Been sick in bed all day and when I was getting dressed, I tweaked my back. Feel poopy, and can't sit up or lay down for too long.  I was going to go pray at the park today anyway until I threw my back out. Oh well, not the end of the world.  Get it over with now so when I find a job, it'll hopefully not be an issue.

I was kind of hoping to get some stuff organized today and do some laundry, but it doesn't look like that will be happening either. This is all temporary anyway, hopefully in a few days (MAX!) I'll be good as new.

By the way, I have officially been in Berlin for one month as of today!!! It's hard to believe time has gone so fast.  I sure have learned a lot and change a lot too...

June 11 marks 25 years since the day I graduated high school in Zweibrücken. I would love to find a way to travel back there on that day, depending on work situation, and do some video of the place so that my class reunion in Vegas in July can see how it looks there today.  It's not likely I'll be able to attend myself, but at least maybe I can contribute something. We'll see if I can work it out.

Also, some of the guys in the church are thinking of starting a new household so I'm hoping in a month or so to be able to be a part of that as well.  It would be nice to be able to live with disciples again. I will miss the area I live in now, but the other place (which is a possibility for me) is more central and VERY close to a school that I am interested in possibly attending.

Yesterday when I was getting my photos done for the driver's license, this bureau had this pdf on their website about what to do and what NOT to do when taking these pictures.  There must have been 80-100 pictures on that form!  The one that got me was "do not smile".... Really???  I guess that's kind of the norm here, and a very German thing, but oooo-kay....  I did not smile. :-|  Actually, truth be told, right before I left Spokane, I renewed my Washington State license as well and I wasn't really smiling there either I guess.  LOL

Please continue to pray for a job for me.  I know it will be in God's timing, but I have a good bit of work to do in the meantime. Until next time.

Well, I guess it was inevitable...

Aloha from Germany!  :)  I have had a very interesting and challenging past couple days.  I will start with some good news, though cuz good news is always, well... good.  So a couple weeks ago, after my very long wait at the "authorities" to get registered (at an office in another part of the city), I decided to get smart and make an appointment closer to home to get my German driver's license changed from the old format (paper license.  Seriously!)  I have shown it to some of you.  I'll take a picture of it and post for all to "appreciate".  LOL!  So these driver's licenses never expire.  Did you catch that? They NEVER expire.  My old license has a picture of me when I was 21.  Let's just say I look WAY different now than I did 22 years ago!!!  I think it's amazing that someone potentially could have a picture from the 1950's, or even earlier, on their valid driver's license!  Anyway, the lady at the office was very funny and said that it had been "a day or two" since it was issued. I said, "maybe three".  We both laughed.

Anyway, I got a bit ahead of myself on the story...  So, I wasn't exactly sure where this office was and I had to go get a "passport quality" picture taken of myself before my appointment and had to figure out where to get that done.  After I got the picture taken, I surprisingly (and out of character for me here) found the office quickly.  And, I was over 30 minutes early!  So, I sat down in a very empty waiting room.  Wait, what????  Why was this waiting room so empty??? This was the same type of office that I waited in line for like over an hour before, and that was because someone gave me their lower number... I was confused.  Slowly I realized that I should have pulled a number when I got there, because the wait time was like 15 minutes!!!! D'oh!!!!  Only me, I tell ya.  This can only happen to me!  So I watched everyone in the room get called and the room cleared twice in the time I was there.  But I figured I would just wait out my appointment.  That's okay because the process was very quick and relatively easy.  I have to go back in about 5 weeks to pick it up from there.  I'm cheap, I didn't want to spend the extra to have it sent to me.  :)

So I think I have mentioned it before, but if not, let me just say now that I absolutely hate (loathe, despise, abhor, dislike) looking for work.  What's worse is that I'm doing it in another country where I have few rights as a non-European citizen, not to mention that I'm trying to market myself in another language.  I run into roadblock after roadblock and began to feel just super overwhelmed by all of this.  I knew that this process would be difficult but I don't think anything could have prepared me for what I have been learning during this process.  So for the past two days, on top of being just generally exhausted, I began to feel kind of numb, and was throwing a HUGE pity party for myself.  I was just getting down, frustrated and just overall didn't know how to overcome all these tremendously challenging roadblocks.

Now, I am a firm believer in the battle of good vs evil.  Hang with me for a minute and I'll prove it....  So, if you are not a believer in this phenomenon, then let me ask you a question.  When was the last time you tried to make a major positive change in your life?  Was it really easy?  Things just fell into place, it was easy to drop that 50 pounds, and in the morning you sprung out of bed to go running/to the gym, etc.  Right?  Yeah, not so much!!!  Call it what you want, but I believe this is an extremely well documented phenomenon that has repeated itself billions of times for the entire history of humanity.  Every self-help book in the world also recognizes this and encourages us to fight through those tough times.  Am I right?

Anyway, so the one thing I have tried to remember for the last year and a half is that there is a goal to be achieved here. I have worked too hard for too long, and sacrificed too much.  I've given up my comfort, friends, my dog, cars, being close to family, etc.  I did so willingly and not under any kind of pressure, except for possibly from within . I have had to fight through every emotion, a tremendous amount of physical and emotional pain (giving my dog away, for example), and to some extent I thought the goal was to get to Germany.  To some extent that is true, but really that was just one of the major steps.  

In any case, I let myself be overcome by my situation, and as is my custom, I tried to just power through it all instead of getting down on my knees and praying about it to the one who actually has the authority to help me through all this.  I opened up to my good friend John Biggerstaff about some stuff I was feeling and what it was doing to me and he just challenged me to figure out how to get back in synch with Him.  

This brings up a really interesting thing that happened to me tonight.  I was feeling tired and just wanted to get home after being gone from the house the whole day.  I got off the train and was waiting for the bus. I had just missed the last one by maybe two minutes.  There are two bus lines that go by that stop and both drop me off very close to home. So I waited. And waited. And waited. At rush hour, I believe both lines run about every 10 minutes.  After over 20 minutes, there should have been 3 or 4 buses come by. Not even ONE came by. The crowd of people at the bus stop was starting to get quite large and a little bit unruly. I finally realized that I was in a good place where I could go check out the local gym nearby (a promise I made to God before coming here) and I also promised John I would try to go to my favorite prayer spot every day, starting today, which is also right by there.  So, I kinda wonder if my being there caused the lack of buses to come.  Did I mention the bus arrived about 1 minute after I left the stop?  I was super convicted and I could see the people looking at me from the bus, that had seen me walk away.   I think the lesson was two-fold:  1.  Be a man of your word (James 5:12 - Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No" be no or you will be condemned.) because of the gym promise I made; and as a result of the first point, 2. to deny myself (Lk 9:23 - "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me....)  Remember, me coming to Germany is only a portion of "reinventing myself", the whole purpose of this blog.  Furthermore, in regards to my relationship with God, I have tried to, at every turn, to really trust God.  This is extremely difficult for me because I like to be in control.  I hate to release that to anyone, including God.  

God, please help me to trust you in everything. I really need your help....

So I did go check out the gym and made an appointment for Friday morning for a tour and a sales presentation, I'm sure.  LOL.  I also got a chance to go to my favorite park to just humble out and pray.  I found this really cool tree that it's branches hung so low, I could sit on its large branch. I'll try to grab a photo and post it on here.  Then, on the way home. BAZINGA!!!!  I wanted to stop by the grocery store to grab a couple things (tomorrow is a holiday and most stuff is closed), so I went to this place called Real (pronounced Ree-all).  I thought it was a grocery store, and it was, but it was like a HUGE department store too.  And to my sheer joy, they had taco seasoning, flour tortillas, salsa, and even Tabasco!  I was so excited I couldn't stand it.  Most grocery stores here are about the size of a 7-11 or maybe a bit larger, some not even that big. This store was about the size of an American grocery store.  I was so excited and it's within walking distance of my house, about 15-20 min.  I can't wait to make some tacos!!!  Unfortunately, though I forgot to grab some cheese... D'oh!!! I guess it'll have to wait until Friday.  Oops.

Next week I have a meeting with the unemployment office and I would appreciate prayers (good thoughts and vibes) for me to be able to get a work permit BEFORE I get a job.  I don't know if it's possible, but that is one of the questions that I will be asking for sure.  It's next Tuesday 5/14.  

One of the things I have been feeling lately is that one of the good things about me is that, for the most part, I am generally in touch with my strengths and my weaknesses.  I know how capable I am to be successful in just about anything I put my mind to, that I'm fun to work with, intelligent, able to lead, etc.  I just want the opportunity to show people what I am capable of.  Honestly, I have been frustrated lately because I am tired of being broke all the time.  I want to be able to be generous, have people over to my house, serve them, feed them, have fun, etc.  I reached a point where I just don't understand why it's been so difficult to find a job.  It seems to be (relatively) easy for others, and I'm just tired of scraping by, taking jobs that do not use my talents, etc.  I'm not unhappy with my situation per se, but I want to feel useful and contribute to the success of a company again.

I just realized I never explained the title to this post.  Well, I guess it was inevitable that there would be some great challenges facing me in this exercise of faith and hard work.  I don't think I appreciated how much this would rock me this week.  Please continue to pray for me as I learn how to trust God even more, humble out and just work hard to find a job.  Money isn't going to hold out forever...

So, that's it.  That's enough for tonight.  It's 12:35a.m. and I'm pooped out!  I seem to be getting a sore throat, so time for Emergen-C, orange juice, lots of fluids and sleep.  Thanks for reading tonight and for all your love and support, good thoughts and vibes.  Your being there just to read my blog has really made a difference to me.  I mean it, thank all of you.  As of today, over 1150 hits on my blog!  I'm very grateful for all of you! Good night!

Growing!

The past 3 1/2 weeks has been difficult in a lot of ways... that's okay though, because when we're just sitting on our back pockets, we don't grow, change or get out of our comfort zones.  I've been very encouraged this week because when I last lived in Germany, my German skills were excellent.  Well, after 20 years of non-use, amazingly they were still pretty good, but not great.  There were a lot of words and phrases that I have completely forgotten and others that I had just never learned.  Like spiritual words.  

My first Sunday at church here, I was befriended by a Swiss brother, Christian, and his wife. We had lunch that day and I shared about my life, experiences and hopes.  We had a great discussion and he asked me if I would like to pray with him.  So, for the last three weeks, we've been getting together on Friday mornings at 8a.m. to pray, and it's been super encouraging. At first, I had NO idea what to say in German when I prayed. But as time has gone on, I'm getting some confidence with it and I was even asked to pray during our devotional after the boat cruise on Wednesday.  During my prayer time with Christian yesterday, I had a really encouraging prayer...  I think I'm starting to get the swing of it a little bit now...  I'm very encouraged about that.

Also, yesterday I visited a Christian library here where some friends from church work.  There is a guy that comes in regularly who is from Iran and I have heard is of the Baha'i faith. I don't know too much about the Baha'i faith so it's been eye-opening to hear his views on God and Jesus and the Bible, to say the least.  It's very difficult to have a conversation with him because he loves to talk but doesn't listen very well.  He's also not considerate when other people talk, he calls people names and will not apologize when he's called out on being inconsiderate.  Either way, I bring this up because I had a conversation with him yesterday where I was able to discuss multiple bible topics with him in German.  Now, I have to be honest, I was not prepared to be able to do this.  AT ALL.  But Micah (who works at the library) said afterward that she was encouraged that I was able to discuss these topics in German and that she couldn't understand a word!!!  LOL  At any rate, I was very surprised and encouraged that God is allowing me to be able to have these kinds of interactions already.  

Last night at bible talk, one of the sisters gave a lesson that was just convicting!  She talked about many of the aspects of God and Jesus that I had discussed with my Iranian friend earlier.  Afterward, we had a great conversation about the different aspects of this and it was very deep. I love getting into conversations like this to discuss and to share convictions and hear each other's insights. One thing I've noticed here, is that the disciples here really get into the word a lot and they nearly always sing and pray together as well.  I really like that they worship so much here, it really endears me to them and hopefully they are becoming endeared to me as well.  I was able to share my heart a number of times during the discussion and it's starting to feel comfortable.  I hope this translates well into having job interviews!

So for the weekend, I've decided I need to get my act together.  When I was living in my house, I was pretty organized.  I knew where stuff was and I generally kept things pretty clean.  Here, my room is a mess!  I have to go through everything I have and organize.  I also just need to do some laundry and get rid of the chaos.  I don't do well with chaos.  I hope by Monday to be ready to look for work in earnest (though still daunting) and be ready to have some interviews!  Please pray!  

That's it for now, thanks for taking a moment to check in on me.  Remember, I love feedback and would be super encouraged to hear from you, answer any questions, etc.  Til next time!