A HUGE Unexpected Surprise!

 Wow, so I have to admit I wasn't prepared for the news I got last night.  I think I'm still in a bit of shock this morning...  So I've doing a ketogenic (keto) diet off and on for the last two months or so.  Mostly "off" if I'm totally honest.   But during the times I have been on it, I've followed the rules pretty closely.  

Six months ago, back on June 8th, I decided to do an initial weigh in.  I say to my shame that with all the challenges (see my blog from a few days ago), I had let myself gain a lot of weight. I had a scale that would register up to 400 lbs (181 kg), and I had exceed that scale's limit. Ugh.  So back in June I bought another scale and had to weigh myself on both at the same time to get my starting point.  

Now your weight shifts constantly so neither of the scales wouldn't stop on any number, so they were constantly changing.  So I decided to video the displays and when I uploaded the video, I was able to pause every few seconds, add up the numbers and then take an average of the results.  At that time it was 421.2 lbs (191 kg).  I watched the June 8th video and it was obvious I was still having a tough time with everything.

So I'm certain in the months between June and October that I gained weight.  There's no doubt in my mind of that, at least a few pounds, but likely more than a few.  But for the sake of accountability I will use 421.2 as my official starting point on June 8, 2020. 

The last few weeks, since probably two weeks before the election, I was off my diet.  It was such a stressful time and I couldn't stay on the plan and deal with the insanity of the state of our country and the election.  But I started my diet again about 10 days ago.  My goal (and I thought I would have to lose 25-30 pounds) was to get below 400 by the end of the 2020.  

So last night I decided to weigh in again to see where I was at.  For the first time, in the last week or so, I could tell I had been losing some weight, but I also knew that I had been very bad there for several months.  So I did the same thing again, two scales, video and stopping every few seconds and add the numbers, do an average, etc.  And I couldn't believe what I saw!  I was thinking that I was adding incorrectly!  But it came out at 403.2 pounds!  That's a loss of 18 pounds officially, and likely more unofficially!  And it put me only three pounds from my first goal!  And I still had 20 days until the end of the month!  For that kind of number, it had to be God!  Thank you, God!!

Now I know this is going to sound strange, and maybe even a little bit controversial, but I've learned from several trustworthy sources (a doctor and a biologist) that when you're first starting the keto diet, they suggest not doing intense workouts because it can kick you out of ketosis (the central piece to the keto diet that makes you lose weight).  But I have been more active, walking more, working on my car, and just getting more movement generally and not being as sedentary. After the first phase, you can start being more active, doing more workouts, etc.  Either way, I think that would be more difficult for me right now anyway, so I'm okay with that. 

But for now I'm just really excited.  I was completely unprepared for the news that I had come this far already.  I was SOOO tempted last night to go get an ice cream or a pizza or something, but decided to have some berries instead.  And they were pretty delish.  I had already had my (not really allowed) cheat day two days ago because I went to the German store and couldn't refuse some jelly filled gingerbread, a bar of Ritter Sport (strawberry) and a few Hanutas. So I couldn't justify another cheat day. 

When my dad was still alive, every year I never knew what to get him and my stepmom, so I would bring, or send, lots of German Christmas treats for us all to enjoy together.  And they were always a huge hit! It's one of the few Christmas traditions I have, with the other being that I would bring a fruit pie as I'm not a huge fan of pumpkin or pecan pie. (And the fruit pie was ALWAYS the first one eaten) Either way, I don't regret the cheat day and I jumped back on the plan the next day, albeit with some more sugar cravings!  Oh well, life goes on.  

So I feel pretty motivated now and I hope that I will, in fact, meet my goal for this month.  So I'm going to UN-officially change my goal to 390 by the end of December. That's the weight at which I still felt pretty functional.  This last year, I have felt very non-functional, so I'm excited to hit that modified goal! 

And I can't wait to get rid of one of my scales, hopefully in the next week!

Covid Quarantine, Remedies for Cabin Fever, and Dealing with Loss

 Wow, what a whirlwind the last few years have been.  One of my last entries was talking about getting my house sold, which was stressful, but God finally closed that chapter.  In June of  2018, my mom had asked for me to start helping her as my nephew was moving out on his own.  Since she was living on her own and her own mobility was starting to become significantly worse, the choice was clear.  Since she lived about 25 miles (40 km) away, I could really only go up to see her about once a week to help her.  But that worked for both of us just fine.  

I would do shopping for her, and some cooking and cleaning in the house. I would take my own laundry up as well and make a day out of it, usually on Sundays after church. It was so great getting some time with her.  I know she enjoyed the time we spent together too.  While the laundry was going, we would chat and watch our favorite shows together, typically American Pickers, or her favorites like Live PD and pretty much any show involving animals. Because she was such a great mom, she would also let me watch a car show like Gas Monkey Garage or others.

But after 4 months or so, I was starting to get overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed.  I started feeling physically weak and only having one day to recover every week was starting to take it's toll on me.  But I found out that my employer offered up to 20 days per year of family leave, which I was approved for.  And I took Fridays off to help mom so that I could still have a couple days to recuperate each week. 

We started looking for a nursing care facility as mom knew she would need to do that soon. My step sister also came up to visit and she and I went to look at a couple of places.  And we were stunned by the prices.  The cheapest one we could find was over $5,500 per month!  So we were forced to put that on hold for a little while. 

Shortly after starting to take the family leave days to help mom, I got a call from my dad's wife.  She told me that she was pretty certain that it would be his last Christmas.  He had had a double lung transplant about 5 years earlier and over the years, he has just continually become weaker and the seriousness of the complications became more serious and with increasing frequency. 

Since they lived on the other side of the mountains, and I was still feeling maxed out (yes, even despite the family leave days), I was really struggling.  With everything else going on, the LAST thing I wanted to do is drive through the snow over the mountain pass in December.  I seriously just couldn't deal with it.  But I agreed to go, and just started praying.  Well, actually I started begging God to make passage EASY both directions.  And he totally answered my prayers!  All the roads were totally clear both directions! That's very unusual for December, especially twice!

So we had a wonderful time at Christmas with my dad and step mom.  But unfortunately, her prediction of it being his last Christmas were, in fact, correct. 

At the beginning of February, mom called me to tell me that she was in the hospital. As she was going to bed one night, she was twisting to sit down on her bed, and she pulled a ligament in her knee. She was told that she could not return home as she would no longer be able to walk.  So now started a mad dash to clear out the house, find a buyer, and get it sold as soon as humanly possible.  After 10 or 11 days, she was released from the hospital into a nursing home, but her cost to stay there was $300/day  (That's $9,000 per month!), and that was not covered by any of her insurance. 

So for February and March, I worked so hard to get her house cleaned out, mostly by myself.  I was exhausted, and at the same time, watching my mom struggle.  It was a very emotional time.

On the same day mom went into the hospital, dad also went into the hospital in Eastern Washington. Thankfully he was released after a period of time and was relatively stable during the months of February and March.  I didn't have the time or energy to go visit.  That was, until mid-March when I got a call from my step mom. Dad was back in the hospital and it was getting more and more serious with his lungs.  They decided to put him into a nursing home and had authorized hospice care. 

So the next day (Monday) I let my employer know that my dad was not doing well and that I needed to go see him.  About the time I arrived, he had just been transferred to the nursing home.  He seemed to be doing well, playing pinochle with a doctor, and just joking with the staff.  And my stepmom kept watch over him as much as she could physically. After two days, I decided I needed to return to Seattle.

At the end of March, after two of the most physically and emotionally challenging months of my life, we finally got mom's mobile home sold, and the buyer agreed to haul off a BUNCH of stuff I had to leave behind because I had nothing left physically in me to haul that stuff off. I can't tell you how much of an answered prayer that was.  God was seriously protecting me from a project I don't think I could have handled.

But God also gave me a dozen amazing friends from church to help me move the stuff we kept into storage.  Finally, I was able to take a breath.

Or so I thought.

So mom paid for her 40+ days in the nursing home, over $11,000, and we were so blessed to find a group family home for her to live in at $5,000 per month (the cheapest we had found so far). She was moved there on a Thursday, and by Sunday we moved in her personal items.

But that same day, dad had gone into the hospital again. This time they said there was nothing they could do. His body was just too weak to put him through another procedure.  I got the call and I couldn't respond.  After getting mom all set up in the evening, I went to bed to get ready for the week because I just didn't have the energy to make a decision on dad.  When I woke up in the morning, it was clear to me that I needed to go.  So I called in to work, and let them know I needed to back to see my dad.  So I packed the car for a few days, and made a reservation at a hotel in their town and headed over the mountains.

When I arrived, dad was being transported to the hospice facility.  Dad was pretty lucid and we were able to interact with him a bit.  My brother arrived later that day and he stayed in dad's room that night. 

The next morning we all went back and dad just slept.  In the times he was awake, he was not really able to interact.  At lunch, we all stepped out of the room to their little break room and had some food all together with some of my step mom's sisters.  My stepmom went back to the room while we all chatted a bit longer.  She must have known something we didn't.    When we returned to the room, for the first time, dad's head was turned to the side instead of facing forward.  I knew this was not a good sign.  We called in the nurse and she confirmed he was very close to death.  We were all upset and my stepmom asked if I could pray.  So the three of us gathered in a small circle and we prayed for dad.  It must have been during our prayer that he decided to go.

Needless to say, this was a very challenging time.  I remember after we had our chance to say good bye in the room, they wheeled him into the small chapel there before loading him into the transport. That's the last time I saw him.

He passed on a Tuesday, and I stayed the rest of the week to be with the family. The one thing I have to say is, especially while dad was in the hospice facility, we laughed so much.  So many memories of us being rotten kids and how we tormented our poor dad as kids. So. Much. Laughter.    So many wonderful memories!

So after this, life returned more or less to normal.  Or at minimum, to a new normal.  The week after I returned home, I had a fall out with one of my roommates, who got in my face about having a chore schedule in the house.  And I lost it.  I was done.  It was too much.  I stormed out of the house as I just couldn't deal.  It felt like the perfect betrayal.  I was devastated by the interaction.  I had been trying to keep things together, to move on with real life, and this stopped me dead in my tracks. It was truly the last straw.

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A month or so later, I got another call from my mom.  I didn't answer it because I had just gotten off the bus coming home from work and didn't want to have a conversation at the transit center.  I regret not having taken the call.  She was calling me to tell me that she was going to the hospital.  I tried calling her back, but couldn't reach her.  I didn't know what was happening, and there was no way for me to find out.

She hadn't been feeling well that day, and by mid afternoon, she was starting to worry.  So they called an ambulance and took her to the ER.  While they were examining her, they said that they couldn't tell what was wrong.  They were about to release her when the doctor exclaimed that she was having a heart attack.  Right there in the ER while she was being examined!  So they rushed her in to surgery and had 3 or 4 stents put in.  She was in the hospital for another week or so as I recall and then was released to go back home to the group home. 

In July, I was still feeling pretty overwhelmed by everything: dad dying, trying to still be there to help mom, recover and be reconciled with my roommate, etc. But I wasn't doing very well with it.  So I decided I needed to find my own place for a while, got some advice, and started looking.  I found a place and moved in on Aug. 17th.  It was a micro studio in a really GREAT part of town.  It was a newer building (the newest I had ever lived in as an adult) and I moved in and tried to organize my life, everything I owned, into 230 square feet (21 square meters).  It took several months, but I was able to get it organized.  Finally!!!

During this time, I was going through lots and lots of boxes that came out of her shed.  Many wonderful items I hadn't seen in decades.  Some I had never seen, but most if it belonging to her mom who had passes over 20 years before.  So for many months, my apartment was filled with foul smelling boxes and the treasures of two lives.

So then came the holidays.  And pretty much every week I was still helping mom, cooking for her, shopping for her and just going up to visit.  She moved a little closer to me, but I had also moved a bit farther away, so the distance was still about the same.  We had Thanksgiving turkey breasts and most of the trimmings and for Christmas she just wanted spaghetti.  She absolutely loved both of them.  We exchanged gifts for Christmas and just sat around talking and laughing like we always did.  

After the holidays, and in the month of January, I was finally able to just relax a bit.  2019 had been such a brutal year, I literally needed a month off. I still went to see her pretty much every week, but it was much more relaxed.  Then February hit.  Mom was back in the hospital again.  She was so tired. She hadn't been able to get up or out of her room since July.  The doctors told her they wanted to do a procedure, but she told them in no uncertain terms "no"!  She only wanted comfort care from now on.  No more procedures, she wanted to be left alone.  I found out later that she even stopped using her CPAP machine when she slept.  

She hadn't been able to eat much for months.  Her nurses were very concerned about this and so she would eat some things that I made for her, and she ate the spaghetti at Chritmas and we had Outback steaks for my birthday in January where she did eat a full meal.  

At this point, the second week of February, she began to have a very soft and raspy voice and it was very hard to understand her.  The doctors said she may have a slight case of pneumonia.  But unfortunately, this was the beginning of the end.  Two weeks later, mom passed.  And in 10 1/2 months, both parents: gone.  

My nephew's wife and I sat there for about 5 or 6 hours on the day she died. So about 6:15 p.m., I decided to go home.  She passed about an hour and a half later. My best friend, my biggest fan, my wholehearted supporter was gone. I got the call and drove the 25 miles back to see her. My amazing friend and hospice nurse, Roger, came also to be with me. I don't know what I would have been like alone there in that room. So glad it was Roger.

Then started the pandemic.  Couldn't donate items to charity as nobody would accept them, so therefore I was unable to get the storage until cleaned out until July.

By September everything was done, except the memorial service.  The pandemic killed all large meetings.  I guess we'll have to see when that can be done. Right now the virus is completely out of control.  I don't foresee any memorial service until at least summer 2021. 

Between grieving for my mother, and dealing with all of the other challenges over the past few years, I have been exceptionally grateful for having an amazing employer that allows me to work from home. I'm also grateful for having been able to live alone to quarantine myself from the virus.  It's been a blessing and a curse though.  I long for times with my friends, going to a restaurant, seeing family at the holidays, and being able to invite people over for dinner, games or a movie (or all three!).

Nine months in quarantine drives you a little bit nuts.  Again, I'm very grateful to be able to work from home, but I haven't left the house much in the last nine months, except to get groceries, and try to get fresh air. But the vast majority of the time has just been spent IN my apartment.  And the cabin fever has been getting progressively more serious. Over the months, I was essentially getting no exercise and I didn't need to go anywhere, and I suspect i gained about 30 - 40 pounds. And because I wasn't doing my standard daily stuff, all my muscles were atrophying and when I did try to walk, or even stand for periods, my back would spasm so bad that I had to rest it.

So I finally decided that I needed an outlet.  I really didn't want to just go out and walk, that's the most boring thing in the world to me.  And with the virus, I felt even less like going out. And since my gym has been closed, I haven't had that as an outlet either.  Even when it did re-open, I didn't feel comfortable going in with there even being the possibility of catching the virus.

So I decided to buy a little fixer-upper car like I used to have when I had my house.  After a couple months of searching, I finally found the perfect little car: a 1982 Honda Civic. It's 38 years old and needs a fair amount of "love" to get it to be something I would feel comfortable using a lot, but I still have my Accord, so right now I don't need it for much.

1982 Honda Civic, "before" picture

But yesterday, I figured I had better make use of a rare sunny Saturday in December and go out and do some work on the car.  The guy I bought it from was trying to make it into some kind of rally car or whatever and had put these weird racing seats in it.  It was nearly impossible to get in and out of the car because of the bolsters on the sides of the seats.  So I found a regular seat for that model and installed it.  Now I can reach all of the buttons on the dash and even change the radio station!!  

And I have to share a funny story.  It wasn't so funny at the time, but now I'm glad it was something minor.  So I had gone to run an errand and I was stopped on this steep hill.  Then the car died.  So I tried starting it again and I got it to go a bit farther, but then it died again, and it was on an even steeper grade.  But it wouldn't start again the second time.  So I was able to back it down the hill and do a U-turn on the road and then compression start it with the downhill grade.  I got it home and didn't think much about it.  It seemed like there was no gas in the tank, but it was showing well over 1/4 tank...

So then I had to run another errand a few minutes later and this time it died on me on a much busier intersection.  I was able to drive it the two blocks home, but then it wouldn't start again today.  Which is so weird because it usually starts almost immediately.  And so I was able to confirm...  no gas!  Easy and cheap fix ($10 for a gas can) and now all is good with the world again.  

I've also started doing the keto diet in earnest.  Between the stress and sadness of this year, the pandemic, the election, the protests and seeing this country for what it is, I just haven't been able to start in any meaningful way.  I'll post my start weight soon and will provide updates.  I may even start doing video diaries.  But between working on my car and the diet I have already made progress!  Please pray for me to continue in that!

So finally tonight, I've been thinking a lot about my health lately.  Having this car is helping my mood, my spirituality and my physical health doing lots of little things to make the car a little better every time I work on it.  I love making a shabby little car into something special and rare and useful.  It's the basis of every DIY show on cable!  It's so much fun to create something cool!

If you're struggling during the pandemic.  I have two encouragements for you: 

1. If you feel distant from God, please contact me.  God is the ONLY thing that has allowed me to keep sane during this crazy time.  Please let me help you understand who God is, my life isn't perfect, but with Him, it's not only tolerable, it's AMAZING.

2. Once you have a true, deep, intimate relationship with God.  Get a hobby.  Do something you enjoy. Get away from the kids for a bit (if you can), and read a book, build something, take a walk, whatever it is that fires you up!  But please seek God before this step.  Nothing can bring you the peace and the happiness that you get when you know God.

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So if you've made it this far, thank you.  Writing is how I process my little world, my challenges, and it helps me somehow to create order out of chaos in my mind.  It's so therapeutic and healing.

Why I Left the ICOC for the ICC.

Hey all!
Thanks for checking in with me!  So I've posted this in other social media, but I wanted to also share this on the ol' blog as well.  Please reach out to me if you have any questions.  My email is TotallyUnified@gmail.com. Love you guys!

Apple Dreams and A Final Farewell to Dad

This weekend I went back to my childhood home of Yakima, Washington.  "Apple Capital of the World."  As you know, smells can be powerful reminders of times and places and people.  They can conjure up memories that were forgotten, lost to the haze of age, and replaced by new friends and experiences. 

But one came back very powerfully for me this weekend. One that took me down memory lane and a renewed appreciation of my very quintessential Washington State upbringing in the apple capital! So I did a short video with some thoughts on my childhood and on my dad's impending memorial service.  Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/w2GrLUuUMXY

I finally got a freshly picked apple!

 

What a Week - Dealing with the Loss of my Father

I was thinking today that I'm having a hard time focusing right now. Then God reminded me that when I was going through challenges in Germany, almost 6 years ago (yes, SIX years ago), that prayer and writing helped me unscramble my brain.  So many prayers have been lifted already by me and for me... so here goes the writing.

Today is Friday April 12th and I just got home from Yakima.  Wow, what a week.

This past Sunday, my stepmom sent me a message that dad had been taken from his rehab facility back to the hospital because he had fluid in his lungs.  Over the last year I have seen (mostly from afar) my dad's health go downhill.  He hasn't been eating and he was becoming weaker and weaker and weaker.  I last saw my dad about 3 weeks before this trip, and I am so glad I went to see him then. We had such a great time, just talking and joking and having a fun time together with my stepmom!

Back in November of 2013, dad had a double (yes, DOUBLE) lung transplant.  The prognosis for survival after 5 years was well into the single digits. His incredible survival was due to (after God's intervention) my absolute hero of a stepmom, and my father's incredible strength and will to survive.

During my trip 3 weeks ago, I could tell we might be getting close to the end.  He was so frail! But frankly, I loved that my dad was still the same spunky, smart, and funny guy he always was. I remember one of the last really lucid moments I had with him during that trip.  We were sitting in his room and I was just kind of smiling at him.  He gave me this very silly, stern look on his face, and I broke out in laughter. And I responded in a very silly tone.  "Don't look in me in that tone of voice!  How rude!"  I think he knew I was just kidding.

Even despite being in tremendous pain, my dad was still in there. His mind and his body ravaged by the medications he had to take to prevent the body from rejecting his lungs.  He had lost his short term memory due his brain being deprived of oxygen before his surgery 5 years ago.  Recently, only occasionally would his silliness come out, but it DID still come out. My dad was such a wonderful man.  I miss him so much!

So this past Monday, I drove to Yakima and arrived at the hospice center shortly after he was transferred from the hospital. And I confirmed this was, in fact, hospice care.  It was clear dad was very near the end..  As soon as I walked in the door, I said "Hi papasan! (I've called him that since I was a kid.) He clearly recognized me, but he was unable to speak and almost immediately his eyes just sort of looked straight ahead and his mouth was moving, only quiet sounds making it out.

But the hospital had been unable to do the procedure to remove the fluid from his lungs as it would have been just too much for his weakened body to handle.  So they said there's nothing more they could do for him and transferred him to hospice care.

Later that night, my brother arrived from Alaska.... finally the whole family was together.  My brother arrived very late and he opted to stay the night in dad's room, and my stepmom went home to get some rest.  I had gotten a hotel room and went back to get some rest as well.

The next day, we all returned to see dad.  He had not been conscious most of the time I  had been there.  Only occasionally would he open his eyes,  and I believe that he knew what was going on in the room, but he could not really respond, except very brief moments with his eyes. Mostly when his eyes were open, they were looking straight ahead of him, looking very intensely into space.

At one point, the whole family stepped out of the room to get a bite to eat in the little dining room provided by the care center. They provided soup, coffee and tea and some other things to eat, and we all spent a short time with each other there.

When we returned to dad's room, something was different.  Dad looked different. Even when he was struggling to breathe, his head was positioned straight ahead.  When we came back into the room, his head was off to his left side.  We called in the nurse and she said that he was very near death.  Likely just minutes.....

A few minutes later, I asked my brother and stepmom if we could pray.  They agreed, and we all put our arms around each other.  I told God how much we loved dad, and prayed that if we had anything unresolved with him that we can forgive him, and I asked God to take him.  When we finished the prayer, we all turned around and we were looking intently at dad.  And we all looked confused, and very concerned.  I asked my brother to hit the button to call the nurse.

She came back in and said "He's gone."  I think he may have gone during the prayer.

One thing that we were dreading was actually watching him die.  With all the issues with dad's lungs, we were concerned that he may choke, or cough, or just generally have a hard time breathing as he was breathing his last.  By the grace of God, he passed in complete silence, slipping peacefully from this life into eternity.

Whereas, this was the best scenario, it was far from easy to process.  We stayed in the room with dad for about an hour and a half as we just dealt with our new reality.  We were all in shock and did not want to leave the room.  We could not bring ourselves to leave him.  The hospice people gave us the time we needed to say our good-byes, process his passing and just pull ourselves together to whatever extent we could.

Finally, we called the nurse in one final time, and my brother and I stepped out of the room.  But my stepmom stayed to help prepare him for his final transport to the funeral home. A short time later, she joined us in the chapel.

An hour or so later, they brought dad out for us to say our final good-byes.  It was so hard.  I didn't want to say good bye to him.  I could barely bring myself to walk up to his gurney, look at his lifeless face, and somehow summarize the 49 years I had enjoyed with one of the most influential people in my life. How do you do that? I've never had to do that before.

I began to weep as I told him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me.  I just couldn't contain the tremendous sadness any more.  A few minutes later, after we had all said our farewells, they began to roll him out of the room toward the van waiting to take him to the funeral home. I thought to myself, this is my last chance.  And with my voice cracking, I said "Good bye papasan. I love you!"  And he was loaded into the van, they shut the door, and they drove off.

And my poor stepmom, his wife of 42 years, began to weep bitterly....

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So how do you cope with this type of loss?  This is all new to me...  I didn't know what to expect when he passed.  And I don't know how long I'm going to struggle with this.  But what I do know is this.  I am so grateful that I have such a powerful God.  I know he is going to be there to help me through all of this.  I understand that I may not ever get over the pain of losing my dad and I acknowledge I'm not the first person to lose a parent or a loved one, and that gives me solace.  I know time and God's power will heal this wound, so until then I know God will  allow it to get a little easier every day.

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But I want to share with you what I've learned this week.  I learned that I'm absolutely the luckiest guy in the world.  In spending time with both my mom AND my dad (and stepmom, too, of course!)  I have come to understand what a special family God has given me.  Both of my parents are incredibly smart, loving, compassionate, and responsible people.  I have been given two truly amazing parents, and an additional incredible superwoman of a stepmom, by God.  My life has been far from easy or perfect, but I was given the most lovely people to learn from and imitate.  I mean that, all three of my parents (dad, mom, stepmom) are some of the most incredible people I know. I have so much respect for them! Thank you God for allowing me to have them in my life!

The second thing I have experienced this week is laughter.  I know it sounds crazy, but I can't tell you the last time I have laughed as much as I have this week.  Oh the conversations we have had, recalling nearly 5 decades of incredible memories!  The ways my brother and I have tormented my dad with our antics, and all the stories that families compile over years of just experiencing life together.  That was by far the biggest blessing of this week.  Even though our joys were interrupted by incredible sorrow, the joy was the thing that I will remember from this week.  The stories stay with us, as well as the heart and the actions of a man of integrity, how he led his family and loved us kids literally more than anything else (even though he was absolutely deeply in love with his wife of 42 years) will never leave my heart. 

My heart is full, and my heart is broken.  I'm sad, but I have so much joy.  I'm having such a hard time saying good-bye, dad, because I love you so much.  There is a hole in my heart that will never be fully restored.  I knew some day I would have to say good-bye, but I want to let you know I'm a MUCH better man because you were my dad.

I love you, dad.  I will miss you more than you will ever know. Good bye papasan!

Berlin & The London "Conquering Kingdoms" European Missions Conference

*NOTE: I BEGAN WRITING THIS POST IN NOVEMBER 2017, FINISHED NOV. 2018


Thank you so much for joining me for this post.  Now just a little bit of a warning, I suspect this post is going to be pretty lengthy, but I really wanted to document my trip, so this is really for me to remember as many of the aspects as I can, but I hope you also find it encouraging.  There were so many wonderful times during my trip that I'm having a hard time processing all of it.  So this is how I sort things out in my own mind.  Enjoy!

IMPORTANT:  I also wanted to explain how I was able to afford this trip. Back in June/July, there were a number of people that had donated to assist me in being able to afford to do my juice fast, and I can imagine there might be some questions about how I was able to afford to go on a European trip so soon afterward.  I would like to explain what happened.  So, the last few days of my fast, a family member gave me a large sum of money unexpectedly.  This was a huge relief for me as this was an incredible windfall, but at the time I started the juice fast I was truly in need.  If anyone has any additional questions or concerns about this (or even wish to receive their donation back), please contact me by email at amerigerman@gmail.com, by phone, or by PM on Facebook.  Thanks!

So it's been a few weeks since I returned from London, and I'm still a little speechless.  I'm still reeling from the sights, sounds, smells and the dear friendships that I was able to rekindle and new ones that I was given the opportunity to make.

The past few months have been very busy, strenuous and stressful for me.  I was often just exhausted and overwhelmed by all the responsibilities I was juggling.  And I feel like I've been going non-stop.  Since the end of May, I visited Spokane 3 times in just over 3 months, each time working hard through heat and thick wildfire smoke to prepare my house for sale and take care of my stored property.

Then, I had a realtor that was just terrible. Constant problems and significant other challenges with the sale of my house.  I'm glad she quit though, because I was going to fire her the same day.  So then I had to start all over again with a new realtor, which was another huge headache. Thanks be to God, because he's been great!

And three days before I was supposed to leave on my trip, I had one of the worst days at work I ever had there (and most days I absolutely LOVE my job!).  It was so bad that I thought that maybe I want to get out of this kind of work altogether.  It really affected me.  So by the time I left for my vacation, I was pretty burnt out.  In all sincerity, I was very stressed out.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

So I got up at 3:30 a.m. on that Thursday and caught the bus from home to the park and ride and then caught my regular bus to work that day.  After working extra hours earlier in the week, I was able to get off at 1 p.m., and then headed for the airport!  I was so relieved to be off work for 11 days and so excited for this trip of a lifetime!  It still didn't feel real!

My flight was at 5:40pm and I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare.  While at the airport, using their WiFi, I was feverishly completing the paperwork so that my realtor could put the house on the market.  With only a few minutes to spare, I finished the paperwork and was able to board the plane for London!  Phew!

Also, while at the airport, I was talking to my stepmom Pam on the phone.  Then it occurred to me that for the first time in months, I was able to step away from all the distractions, struggles and busy-ness of the past few months and relax and just enjoy the places that I dearly loved!  And I started to cry because I really needed some time off from all the craziness!  I didn't realize I was THAT stressed out, I really did need a vacation!

Friday, October 20, 2017

 So I land at Heathrow about 11 a.m. local time, and apparently I was the first person to arrive in London for the conference.  I was greeted by Jurij, Kolbe and Michael (and about 7 others!) at the arrival area.  As soon as I came through that door, they all started singing "We Love You With The Love of the Lord"!  I was so blown away!  It made me feel so special and honored!  I love you guys, I hope to be there with you again soon!

I had a great conversation with Michael and a brief talk with Jurij, and they had to leave, because shortly after I arrived, Scott and Sandy showed up from Phoenix!  So Kolbe and I grabbed a bite to eat for an hour or two and it was extremely encouraging!  Thank you for taking time with me, White Mamba!  Ha ha ha ha!  Love you, brother!

After he left, it took me a bit, but I finally found the gate where my next flight was going out from.  I still had a few hours, so I just relaxed.  My next flight was with Brussels Air (never heard of it) and off I went for a short flight to Brussels for my connecting flight to Berlin.

When I landed in Brussels, my boarding pass said it left at 2020 (8:20 p.m.) and I got off the flight at about 8:05p.m. from gate A34 or thereabouts, and I needed to get to B46.  So I am doing a fat man sprint through the airport and it's taking forever to get to A1, then I had to get to the B gates.  Well, they route you through, and around, stores in this very lengthy and curvy shopping area. I finally make it to the gate and the boarding time was 8:20, plane took off at 8:50 p.m.  Phew!  And I really had to use the restroom, too.  I didn't think I was going to make it!  LOL!!  But I was a sweaty, out-of-breath mess!  But at least I didn't miss my flight!

So I boarded my last flight and an hour later landed in Berlin!  I had been up for almost 36 hours when I landed and as soon as I got off the plane, I grabbed my luggage, jumped on the airport WiFi and called Jürgen as I didn't see him at the airport.  He answered his phone and I said "I'm here!!!" and he was silent for a second and he said, "Where?"   I said "I'm in Berlin at Tegel!"  He thought I was coming in on Sunday!  LOL!!  I told him not to worry, I'll find out how to get to him, so we met at the U-Bahn station near his house a bit later.

While I was on the bus on my way to meet Jürgen, this really nice young woman and I started chatting and I asked her if I could use her phone to call Jürgen, and she agreed.  I told him when I would be there and we met a short time later.  I had a great conversation with the girl on the bus, Kerstin, and she also helped me figure out which trains to take on the U-Bahn as well.  Definitely a guardian angel because I didn't have WiFi anywhere!

So I got to my stop and lugged all my stuff onto the platform where Jürgen was waiting for me.  So grateful for him.  I love him like a brother!  So he let me crash at his place for a few nights while I was there.  He was very apologetic for not getting the time right, but despite that, we had a great time!!  But not long after I got to his place, I crashed out! It had been a very long day for me!!

Saturday, October 21, 2017

My first morning in Berlin, and I was super excited.  One of the things the Germans do well, is breakfast.  You get some fresh rolls, some meats and cheeses, coffee and maybe some fruit, and that's breakfast!  If you've never had breakfast this way, you are MISSING OUT!!  I love it!

So after that, we went out for coffee and had a great conversation there. Then we went to Alexanderplatz as I needed to get some Euros and also needed to get a phone at Saturn that I could use in Berlin.  When I arrived in April 2013, the phone was 9 Euros, this time it was 29!  Eek.  Same phone!😕 Oh well....


In the meantime, I was really craving my favorite gyros at Mr. Gyros, so we headed that direction.  But on the way, I remembered that the only day of the week they are closed is Saturday!  That was confirmed when we arrived there.  Too bad, I was really looking forward to them, but decided I'll go back another time.  But from there, we walked to Connections, and I stopped at Lidl for some snacks and drinks for the party I had planned for that evening.

The whole day, as we walked around the city, I was just so enchanted by all the sights and sounds of Berlin. On the subway, hearing "Zurückbleiben bitte!" just before the doors closed,  listening to the sounds of the S-Bahn trains, the whirring of the street cars on Alexanderplatz, all the sights sounds and smells of this incredible place!  They had become part of me, and I was absolutely HOME!  I had to apologize to Jürgen numerous times during the day because I often would stop in the middle of our conversation (and usually stopped walking, too!) and just say, "hear that sound?"  He said he thought it was really cool how much I loved the city, maybe I was just annoying myself!  Who knows!! I didn't care, I had come home, even if for just a few days!

So at 6 p.m., we were back at Connections and Jürgen grabbed us some food at Doree down the street (where I had spent many hours dining in 2013).  Then people started showing up!  First to come by was Basti Beer.  I was so encouraged to see him!  Then my friend Agata showed up with her family, it was great to see her.  She's hilarious, such a fun lady!

Shortly thereafter, my awesome sister Katja showed up with her new husband Vincent, then Matthias and Monique (also relatively newlyweds) and Daniel and his sons, and Tina!  It was almost surreal to be back at Connections, and yet somehow totally natural.  So we sat and talked and laughed about our times together a few years ago, and what's going on in our lives now.  It made my heart truly happy!  I'm so grateful for all who came out to see me, I love you all, and miss you more than you will ever know!!!

Sunday, Oct. 22, 2017

So the previous few days, I had not gotten much sleep.  So Saturday night I made up for those hours I had missed!  I went to bed a little after midnight and forgot to set an alarm.  Church started at 11 a.m. and I got up at 10:25 a.m.!  Oops!!  I got ready in a hurry and caught a taxi to church.  It's pretty much all the way across town, so I was hoping I wouldn't be too late.  Well, I was about 10 minutes late, not too bad considering the situation.

It was so good to worship with the family in Berlin!  I love those guys so much!!  After service I got a chance to chat with Thomas (an amazing friend), Ulf, and a few others as well.  Man, it was incredible to see everyone again.  I wish I had had more time to spend with everyone!

So I went to lunch with the campus, including Steffen!  It was great to get time with him and meet the other people there (and one sister from Seattle, too!  The daughter of a good friend I have known for a long time!)  We went to an Italian restaurant near Hermannstrasse S-Bahn station, and the food was excellent!

After we all said good-bye, I was excited to go visit Treptower Park.  I absolutely love this place!  It's one of my favorite places in the whole world.  It's a Russian war memorial and it's very imposing, beautiful and very peaceful.  I took a little video while I was there:

So I took a few pictures and sat down near the large statue and prayed and cried.  I was just overcome by the beauty of that place, and what it had come to mean to me in my relationship with God. It was so great to be back here in my favorite prayer spot in the whole world! The day was intermittently sunny and cloudy and I got some great pictures!

After I walked back through the park, I headed to my favorite place to shop (mostly groceries): Real! Then I took the old bus 194 by my first apartment from 4 years ago, and then to Hermannplatz.  I also went to my old barber, Shagi and got a trim!  It was really good to see him again too! And he even remembered me too!  Then back to hang out with my good friend...

Unfortunately, one of the bible talks was away for the weekend for a retreat, so I wasn't able to see a few of my people, but oh well, hopefully I'll be back again soon!

Monday, Oct. 23, 2017

Since this was vacation, I was in no hurry in the mornings to get up and out.  As much as that would have been nice, the time that I did have during the day was filled with time with people, and transit between places, including a LOT of walking.

One of the things I had been wanting to get was a wallet, so I asked Jürgen if he minded if I looked for one.  He said that's fine.  So we walked down the Ku'damm from Kaffee Kranzler to Wittenbergplatz, and went in every store where I thought they might carry them.  We went in probably 5 stores and none of them had the type I wanted.  As I was about to give up, we walked by a drug store called Rossman on Wittenbergplatz, and they had them there!  Not only did they have the right type, it was way cheaper than at the other places.  Jürgen liked my wallet so much, he bought one too!

Then, we split up and I was very excited to meet up for lunch with an amazing brother Christian (also a newlywed).  We went out for burgers and had a great conversation, talking about everything!  I miss you, brother, and can't wait to meet your wife soon!

After leaving there, I was off to see my friend Katja and catch up with her!  Of course, we went to our favorite chicken place "Ris A" in Tempelhof.  Great memories were made in that restaurant with her, "tearing up some chickens" as I'm sure Christina can attest!  😆  I'm so encouraged by you, sister, and happy that things are going well for you!

Afterwards, I headed back to meet up with Jürgen and we weren't sure what to do in the evening, so we just went out to Oranienburger Tor to a little restaurant and had some appetizers and a beer.  Good times with my friend!!!

By the way, on this day I broke my previous record of steps on my fitness tracker.  My previous record was 19,000 steps and on this day I did over 21,300!  I broke my old record by well over 10%!!

Little did I know this would be the first of many days of this type of activity!  Oy!


Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2017

 On Tuesday, since this was my last full day in Berlin, I was not about to miss out on my yummy gyros lunch at Mr. Gyros!  Now, over the years, Jürgen has been there a lot for me.  He would always take me out for dinner, or do whatever he could to help me.  So, this time, even thought it wasn't much, I was able to invite HIM out to lunch at the gyro shop!  My gyro was beyond delicious and he got the farmer's salad (ie: a real Greek salad), which looked amazing.  My best friend and my favorite restaurant, and it was even warm enough to sit outside!

After we left there, we got a bit lost.  I was meeting up with the Webers on Bayerischer Platz, but we were looking for a coffee shop to sit down in for a little while.  So we walked down Grunewaldstrasse, and instead of going right, we went left and never did find a coffee shop.  We finally popped into a bar to use the facilities and get a coffee, but it was way too smoky for me (even during the day), so we ended up sitting outside again.  But as I only had a short time before I had to meet up with the Webers, we only stayed a short time.  I was a little bit late, and I felt terrible, but it's hard to function without internet and very limited phone service. (And they didn't have my temporary number.)

But I had such a great time with Andreas and Tamara!  I love those guys!  Andreas gave me a book to read back in 2013 that meant so much to me.  It's called "Let Me Die in Ireland."  It was by one of my favorite authors, and it had such a huge impact on my life in 2013.  It still is one of the dearest gifts ever given to me.

So we had a great conversation and meal, and they left.  Then I realized that I wanted to get something from Connections.  I have a few boxes of things there that I left in 2014, so I wanted to get a couple things from there.  Since I left them, the boxes had moved and was unable to find them, and by the time I got there, it was already late in the day, so Clay was shutting down the library for the day, and I just left when he did.

I called up Jürgen and asked if he wanted to meet up for a beer.  So we went to one of my favorite places in Berlin to eat. It's called the Old Berlin Beer Saloon.  A saloon in Berlin, you say?  YES!  And it's super cool!  The ambience literally looks like it's been there for 100 years (it probably has been!)  Although, if I were to guess, this area was probably flattened in WWII, so I'm not sure.  (Berlin was 90% destroyed in the war, so it's hard to say what's original and what was rebuilt.)

Here's their website, if you're interested in checking it out.  http://www.alt-berliner-biersalon.de

So Jürgen and I hung out and had a beer and just watched the world go by with our bierchen. It was hard for me to believe that I would have to leave the next morning! I was very sad, but incredibly grateful for the time I had in my favorite city in the world!

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

So I got up early and made sure I was able to have one last German breakfast before I headed off to the airport.  Jürgen offered to get a "Drive Now" car and drive me to the airport.  I was doing pretty good for time, so it was good.  But for some reason he was not able to get the car.  I stood waiting for about 15 minutes and he called me to tell me that he was ordering a taxi and should only be a few minutes.

Well, his road was closed at one end due to construction and apparently the taxi driver didn't know how to get to us. (Really??  You're a taxi driver!!)  That aside, my serenity was starting to fall apart a bit.  But I was praying...   So, apparently, the taxi driver wanted us to lug my bags about 4 blocks to meet him at a nearby hotel.

I was pretty frustrated by this point, as I had been waiting with my bags in the rain for a total of about 35 minutes, and I would be getting to the airport quite a bit later than planned.  But as these things usually work out, I was arrived at Tegel airport in plenty of time, and Jürgen was able to get to his next appointment on time as well.  Thanks, God!!  And thank you, Jürgen!!

So the first leg of my trip to London was a 4-hour layover in Frankfurt.  I had it all planned out!  I was going to go into the city and look around at some specific places and be back in time to catch my flight.  Even though the trip into the city was only about 15 minutes, I decided it was too much hassle and just relaxed and got a coffee and did a little bit of shopping, and waited for my flight.  I don't think I would have had enough time to do much in the city and I'm actually pretty glad I just chilled at the airport.

LONDON

So I land in London, and if I'm completely honest, I was kind of hoping for another warm welcome (I'm prideful, what can I say?), but that's okay...  So I just needed to get from the airport to the hotel.  Well, the most clear (and inexpensive) choice to get there was by subway, "The Tube".  I only had to change trains once, but the trip was about an hour and a half!  Unfortunately, my flight landed at about 4 p.m. and it took a while to get through customs and pick up my luggage.

So I boarded the subway at exactly 5p.m.  It was nice, because it was relatively empty.  But it was a Wednesday, and at rush hour!  Yeah, it got real chummy there on the train.  I did get the opportunity to chat with a really nice older English woman, and another English gent.  We had a great conversation as we tried to make the best of a very tight situation, so to speak.  I'll say it, I was very uncomfortable!!  But I made my train change and finally arrived at Canary Wharf a little after 6 p.m.

But I was pretty lost.  No matter how many times I had looked at the map of the place, I had no idea where to go when I got out of the Tube.  I was actually only a few blocks away, but took another train one more stop.  Not the end of the world, and the walk was only about 7-8 minutes to my hotel.

Thankfully, Omar had already checked in and so I was able to just pick up my key and head up to the room.  Now, after I had booked the room, I realized that the description of the room said "No Window".....  Huh??  Really?  That's a thing??  So I get to my room and our window was only a half-length window.  It overlooked the roof (just barely).  Apparently some rooms on the 1st floor had no windows at all!  That would definitely not fly in the U.S.!!  But the room was clean and comfortable and all was well.

So I got settled at the hotel, and I thought I would go over to the Hilton, where we were having the conference and see if I could meet up with people.  But on the way, I bumped in to Scott and Sandy Lunde and they invited me over for dinner!  I was super encouraged and hung out with them for a while.  Now Sandy looks a lot like someone I know in Spokane, and oddly enough, they had been roommates with each other in Boise like 10+ years ago! What. Are. The. Odds????

Since they had rented a condo, Sandy offered to help me with some laundry since I couldn't quite make my clothes last a full 11 days of my vacation.  Thank you so much, you were a total life saver!

So after a really great and inspiring conversation with them, I headed back to the hotel and met up with Omar, who I had never met before.  I had hoped to get together with Jurij and some of the London brothers that night, but I just arrived a little bit too late for that.  But this was a great alternative, if you can call it that!!

Thursday, Oct. 26, 2017

I got up to go to the first class they offered: Churchbuilders.  I would have loved to have gone to that, but they had to charge for that session, and 20 pounds was just not in the budget.  Jurij told me later that they could have helped me out had they known.  Oh well, I did go downstairs to the restaurant and had a great conversation with one of the waiters there, a really cool guy named Benoit.  A little later, Omar sat down and we chatted over coffee. I desperately needed coffee....


So then I realized that I didn't have to be back until like 7 p.m. that night.  So there were a bunch of people that had come in from all over and were just hanging out at the hotel, so we decided to go over to the business district (right across a short bridge from the hotel) where there was quite a large underground mall below the high-rises of the Canary Wharf.  We grabbed some coffee and then went out for some chicken at Nando's.  Then we headed back to the Hilton for the first General Session.

It was so encouraging to hear the good news sharing from around the world, delivered by Kip.  It was so inspiring to see how God is moving in so many places.  Seriously, this was one of the most encouraging things I heard while I was in London!

Then John Causey preached arguably my favorite lesson there.  A United Kingdom Conquers Kingdoms!  Lots of great little nuggets in that one.  But well, it is John Causey and he has lots of experience and wisdom!!

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So this is where I stopped writing my experiences 3 weeks after the conference.  I'll do my best to remember what happened for the rest of the weekend now, 13 months after the returning home.  Hey, I figure it's better to finish it now than not finish it at all.  It took me a long time to write all that!!  LOL

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Friday, Oct. 27, 2017

 So I was really excited for Friday (well, in reality I was excited about the whole weekend) but I got to get some time with my friend Daniel that had come to visit Seattle exactly two years before!  So he showed me around London a little bit and got a great chance to catch up with him and see the city I hadn't been to in just shy of 30 years!  He took me to the Camden Market where I got all my souvenirs for my friends back home, and what a cool place that is!  I'll attach some pictures below so you can see a bit of our craziness! Thanks Daniel for being my tour guide, for the great company, and for taking time to catch up with me. I had a blast!!

I'm so excited to be in London, not sure why he's excited. LOL

Camden Market

The "Shard" Like out of a movie! So cool!

Camden Market

Daniel and I and the Tower Bridge

Better picture of the Tower Bridge

In the afternoon, I returned to the conference for the official start of the conference and heard great messages from Michael Williamson and Kolbe Gray.   Then afterward, we went to a great little Turkish restaurant on the back side of the hotel on the old docks of the river. It was the first time I had ever eaten Turkish food, except for Döner Kebap in Berlin.  A sister that was to be moving to join the Paris church was gracious enough to let me escort her to the dinner.  It was quite something to see over 150 people converge on this little restaurant that was also serving other guests!

Everyone was all dressed up and we enjoyed a very nice dinner, great service and incredible fellowship with disciples from all over the world!  It was such a great experience!  Here's a picture of my date and myself:

Saturday, Oct. 28, 2017

So it was officially the Mercy Worldwide day where everyone wore their green Mercy shirts.  I don't recall if there was an actual event to serve that day or not, however I do recall something about the British disciples playing "the rest of the world" in soccer.  As I recall, I believe the Brits took the cup... No surprise when you consider there were a LOT of Americans there, who most likely prefer American football to the British kind.  LOL

Later in the afternoon, we returned to the hotel to hear the amazing Anthony Olmos give my other favorite lesson of the conference: "Bent on Transfiguration."  DON'T GIVE UP... DON'T GIVE IN... STAY ALL IN!!  He is such a great brother!!

After the classes, there was a Singles' Dinner, at (where else?) the Tower Bridge!  This place has a million dollar view of the bridge and the Tower of London.  Especially at night, it was stunning!  Food was excellent, and once again the fellowship was incredible!

My awesome date

That view! Tower of London visible far left!

 After the single's dinner, we went back to the hotel.  I was rooming with a really encouraging brother from NYC, Omar.  It was really great getting to know him, super grateful for the friendship we built there.

Omar and I

Sunday, Oct. 29, 2017

It was hard to believe that today is the last official day of the conference.  Such an intensely fun and spiritual time, and yet it's going to be over in a few hours!   But as expected, John Causey brought the heat with the final lesson of the weekend.  That guy is incredible.  I wish I had half of the heart he has!  He loves God and people and has such incredibly deep convictions!

After the conference let out, and many good-byes were said, we all went our separate ways. I returned to the hotel room for a nap because I was happily exhausted from the weekend.

I had also received an email from the airline letting me know that my Monday flight had been cancelled.  I have to be honest, I was freaking out just a little bit.  I was due back to work on Tuesday and I couldn't fly out until Tuesday afternoon.  Thankfully I have a very understanding employer that allowed me to return a day late.  My only issue was that I only had 0.17 hours of vacation left, so essentially I was not paid for most of that day off, but hey, it did mean that I could stay in London for another whole day!

I could not afford another night in the hotel, so Monday night Jurij let me stay at his place in one of the brother's rooms who was away for a few days.  Also got some good time with him and was able to do a little bit of exploring.


Monday, Oct. 30, 2017

So I got up Monday and had to check out of the hotel.  I had them hold my luggage at the front desk and went out to explore the city a bit.  I just jumped on a double-decker bus and headed out a few miles from the hotel.  I visited the Poplar District and took the bus route 15 toward Trafalgar Square.  I went a bit past, and then visited Watney Market and a couple of spots along the way and then returned to the hotel.

I didn't have much time to explore because I had to be back to meet Jurij at the hotel in the afternoon.  So he drove us back to his house where he made some awesome healthy dinner!  And after about 10 days of traveling, I was pretty wiped out.  My plane didn't leave until about 1 p.m. on Tuesday, but I turned in early to be rested for the long journey the next day....


Tuesday, Oct. 31, 2017

It was nice to sleep in a bit on my last day in London.  But I left Jurij's place around 9:30 a.m. and started my journey home.  It was about 15 minutes by foot to the nearest Tube station, and then about an hour back to Heathrow.  Heathrow is a massive airport.  It can take a while just to get from one end of the airport to another.  But I did make it in plenty of time and had about 2 or 3 hours before my flight left.  Man, coming home is the hardest part of a long vacation!!




TAKE-AWAYS

So what can I say?  I felt like the most blessed guy in the whole world.  It seemed almost unreal that I was able to visit these two amazing cities.  I got to see some incredible things, meet my good friends in Berlin, and meet scores of new ones in London!

Having felt a bit stuck in Seattle the previous four years or so, I built this trip up in my mind as the be-all, end-all trip of a lifetime.  In fact, I had built it up so much, that I realized I had to be careful not to have my expectations TOO high, to make sure I didn't feel let down in any way.

But to my utter shock and amazement, I dare say the trip far EXCEEDED my greatest expectations!  I was so blown away and grateful that God blessed it the way he did!

So what did I take away from this time?  Well, I was so inspired by the work that is being done in Europe.  The whole continent needs God, and there are people out there really doing that work!  And I was so inspired to become one of those people!  No time to rest on our laurels, the world needs help in such a huge way!  I can't wait to learn what will help me be better to effectively love a hurting world and show those in Europe how amazing God is, and what he has done in my life.

I will NEVER forget this trip.  I learned so much, I was impacted by the lives and messages of so many men and women that are truly in the battle to save souls.  I can't tell you the last time I had felt this convicted, inspired and ready to join the battle in Europe than I did on 10/31/2017!

Finally, I want to send a shout-out to R.D. Baker, Anthony Olmos, Jurij Zykov, Kip, Michael Green, Kofi, Omar, the Lundes and so many others that helped make this time so impactful.  Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel welcome.  I can honestly say that I've never seen such a humble, loving and dedicated group of men and women in my whole life.  Thank you for welcoming me, encouraging me, and calling me higher!  I can't wait to see you all again.  Hopefully very soon!  Love you all!

Tim (signed 11/24/2018)

Highlights From Early 2018

Hey all!
Well there are a lot of things I just realized I hadn't updated on the ol' blog that I had promised to, so first of all I'm sorry if you were actually HOPING for those updates, and that it has taken me six months to get to it!  For reasons that will become clear to you shortly, I'm actually going to do two blog posts in one day.  May be a first for me....

I realized my last blog post was from Dec. 1, 2017 while I was visiting Spokane working on the house.  So I'll give you an update on what happened with the house, as promised...  I did stay until Sunday because I just couldn't get everything done in one morning/afternoon.  I got some plumbing done, fixed the roof, removed some wiring that I hadn't finished installing and several other small tasks. But nothing too earth-shattering over all.

So after all  the work had been done, several failed offers later, two real estate agents, and enough new gray hairs to make a an overcoat, my house finally sold on Dec. 28, 2017!!!

Now, just to give you an idea of how much of a process this actually was, let me tell you a little story....

At the end of May 2017, I went to my good friend's wedding in Coeur d'Alene, ID and that's when I learned that the real estate market in Spokane was really hot!  I quickly made the decision to sell my house because when I left for Germany in 2013, I really couldn't have made enough to make it worthwhile, and after everything may have ended up owed money.

So I decided to head back to Spokane at the beginning of August for a 3-day weekend and hired a real estate agent that I met with during my trip.  At that time, the entire state of Washington was covered in a thick layer of smoke from many large wildfires burning in Canada, with Spokane getting the worst of it!  Temps were in the 90's and was just miserable.  I had personally never seen anything like that.  In Spokane, yes.  But never the whole state! It was completely insane!

So I rented a U-Haul and started getting rid of all the stuff in my storage.  Selling, trashing and giving away to charity. Spilled a large bottle of acid in the back of the truck as well. That was a horrible mess!  Thanks to my amazing brother Lionel for his very sacrificial heart to help me!!!

I returned again a month later during Labor Day weekend and did another clean up session.  Once again, the weather was extremely smokey and temperatures were in the 90's! I don't do well with that kind of heat.  I did bring my big box fan, which helped.  These trips were totally exhausting taxing, and expensive.  Thanks to Mr. Eik and the Baldwins for very generously letting me stay at your homes.  You have no idea how much you helped me!  I will forever be grateful to you all! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

So by the time my renters moved out on Nov. 1st, I was now responsible for paying the mortgage, my rent and all the rest of my bills.  To say I was poor in November and December would be a huge understatement.  No money for Christmas, and I got a Target credit card so that I could buy groceries, and even pay for my cell phone bill (top up cards).  By the way, please don't ever do this!  The only reason I did it was because I knew I was going to be able to pay it off as soon as the house sold.

During the Fall, my realtor quit on me (I was going to fire her the same day she quit.).  She had some kind of falling out with my renter and she couldn't deal any more.  That was an extremely stressful time for all of us and emotions were high.  But either way, I was not impressed by her skills at all, and glad I didn't have to let her go, that she quit on her own.  Very stressful...

By the end of December, I hadn't paid any of my bills (I had NOTHING for any of them).  The day the house closed, I received notice of intent of my insurance they would be cancelling my insurance unless I brought it current immediately!

So I also had no money for Christmas.  I basically just told everyone we can celebrate in January.  Actually ended up working out pretty well.  It was totally God.

So on the day the house closed, I was waiting for the funds from the sale of my house to hit my bank.  I looked online every hour on my phone to see if it was there yet.  Finally at 11:50a.m, there it was! I sat there in shock, I started to shake, and a couple of tears fell. It was finally done.... I was happy, and at the same time I was numb.

So since it was the end of the year, and I just started calling all of my creditors and paying off all my bills (thankfully there weren't too many).  But I have to share this one story.

I had one credit card that was over limit, 45 days past due and it ws the last business day of the year. 
I have worked in collections before, so the end of the month is huge, you're wanting to collect every past due dollar that you can.  So I get this young man on the phone and he pulls up my account and I give him my payment information to pay off the card in full, bringing it current.  It was at the end of the day on the last business day of the month/year!  You could hear the excitement in his voice.  He could barely contain his excitement.  I was really encouraged that God allowed me to do that for him.  It was a great feeling.  I know he was encouraged! :)

So, thanks to God, I was able to pay off my debt.  Yes, ALL of my debt.  All of the stress, all of the struggle, all of the sacrifice.  I'd been holding it in and barely holding on for more than just a few years.  In the blink of an eye, it was all done.  Debt free..... It still doesn't seem real 5 1/2 months later! So grateful, thank you, God!

One of the brothers in the church earlier this year told me he was very concerned about me during the Fall.  I told him how stressful and exhausting that time was and how I was just barely holding on, waiting and begging God to get my house sold.  He continued that I seemed much happier now, more funny and playful (the old Tim!).

But the reality was that for at least 2 or 3 months after the house sold, my body just went limp.  I was exhausted, lethargic, and a total home body.  After being in suspense for so many years, my body took some time off. LOL.  I was barely able to just do the basics: work, church stuff and chores.  Finally in March/April, the clouds started to clear (literally and figuratively) and I really started to come out of that haze and started feeling human again.  Either way, I was glad that my body was starting to function again and I could start to resume living life to the full once more!


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And there was another challenge on the horizon that was also weighing heavy on me during this time.  Taxes!   Oy....

I knew that I could claim receipts for money I had spent on my house during the time that I owned  it for things that would increase the value: landscaping, painting, renovations, roofing, fences and such.  The only problem was that I had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of receipts to weed through!

This process took conservatively 10-12 hours to organize and I was hoping to file my taxes myself (idiot!!) but the tax deadline loomed....  then it came.   At the last possible hour, I filed an extension and sent a hefty check for what I thought would be a reasonable amount of taxes, taking into consideration the capital gains, receipts and miscellaneous costs of selling my house.

I finally surrendered and decided to take my taxes to a CPA, and I'm so glad I did.  He was awesome!  He made it look so easy!  I was pretty organized when I went in so it was relatively quick and painless.  Before I went to him, I had prayed an "impossible prayer" of getting back some of what I had sent to the federales for what I thought I owed them.  But God is way bigger than my little prayer!  He not only gave me back ALL of what I had paid them already, I also actually received a refund!  A REFUND!!!!  Even after a fairly heavy tax bill from the CPA (money WELL spent!), I still netted a few hundred dollars!  I got home and I was sitting at my desk just laughing to myself.  It was so ridiculous!! I seriously got a refund??? Totally God, thank you God!!!

I'll end this post here.  This is the end of the old. Here comes the "new".....