A Need

Over the past nine months, I have felt needy.  Not emotionally needy, but physically needy.  I have had to ask for help with being able to afford to eat,  I had to ask for a place to stay for free (for three months!) and even for a pair of shoes to replace a pair that was completely worn out.  I sacrificed a lot to fulfill what I still believe was a very clear sign from God for me to go be able to help our church in Berlin.  I do not regret having sold most of my worldly possessions (except my house and some personal items, clothing, etc.) and honestly I would do it again in an instant to have the same experience again.

In making the decision to go, I talked to a lot of spiritual men about my thoughts and they all supported me and walked me through the financial and spiritual challenges that could confront me as a result of making this kind of decision.  I took all of that into consideration and stepped out on faith. I prayed a lot and God blessed my prayers clearly and quickly and in ways that it was very obvious that it was an answer from God.  After all was said and done, it was hard to make the decision to go, despite the fact that in Spokane I was not making enough money to support myself living in my home and taking care of the other responsibilities that I had.  It had become clear to me either way that my time there was coming to an end.

In many ways, the last year of my life has been the most fun and inspiring time of my life.  The relationships I built in the churches in Berlin and Munich, but also the connections (no pun intended) I was able to make outside the church were equally impacting.  At my going-away party, I was so encouraged to hear what people had to say about what God had allowed to work in my being there. I was actually blown away, moved and deeply touched.  

In many other ways, however, the last year has also been the most challenging of my life.  There were days when I didn't know where my next meal would come from, where I was out of money, out of food and had to ask for help.  There were times when I had to wait to the very last moment to find out if my residence permit would be extended or not. Not including my move between hotels, I have moved seven times in the last year.  

One of my prayers in moving to Germany was to put myself in a place where I truly could rely on God.   I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I prayed that prayer!  Don't get me wrong, there is very little I would change about the last year of my life, but it has been incredibly difficult to be on this journey and to live in such a humble way, relying on the generosity of God and others to help me make it through with just the basics. 

I have had to ask for financial help more often than I would like.  But what God has shown me is that when you have a need, sometimes you have to just humble out and ask for help.  I hate it, and frankly I would much rather just be able to take care of my own business without help from anyone.

What I believe that God is showing me is that it's more important for my character to just be humble and ask.   If God has blessed you with a home, a warm bed, and food on your table; if he has made your life comfortable and blessed you with family and everything you could ever want, I would like to make a plea to you.  

In returning to the US, God has blessed me richly with everything I have needed, including a job, a new place to live and wonderful relationships, both new and old. The one thing that I do not have now that I am realizing is a need for me is a car.  I don't need something fancy, just something that is going to get me down the road.  I have found a car that is $600 and is in seemingly very good mechanical condition (although it isn't very pretty). It's great on gas and cheap to insure.  I am trying to borrow money, but the reality is that I am trying to get caught up on some bills and just don't have a lot of room in my budget to have a car payment, even a small one.  

Not having a car is very challenging here.  I am able to get to work just fine, but I am looking into possibly getting additional income from tutoring, which would require me to have a car.  I would also like to be able to help my mom but am unable to get to her house from here by bus.  (Obviously it's possible, but it would be expensive (relatively for me) and would take hours in buses to there and back).   Not to mention, just running to the grocery store or going to visit or encourage friends, run errands, etc. I am also trying to join a gym and the only one I can afford is about 3 miles away. (It's only $10/month!).

So I am asking, in all humility, if you have $5 or $10 or $20 to spare (or more if you are willing), seriously ANY amount will help me.  Either way, please don't give unless you really feel moved to.  I don't want anyone coming to me later and saying that I manipulated them into giving.  Please do it only if it is on your heart to....  The link to donate is below. I believe you can also give anonymously.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, and whether you give or not, I am sincerely grateful for your support.  Have a great week!