Hey all!
Thanks for your patience in waiting for my next post. There has been a lot on my mind lately and I have honestly not had the mental or physical energy to sit down and put it down into words. I don't know what this post will look like after I'm done, but I'm sure it will be full of interesting information for you!!! I am sure it will be pretty long though so strap in, grab your favorite beverage cuz here we go!!!
In the title of this post I mentioned that there have been some pretty serious challenges in my life. Don't worry, I'll explain, but it has been a roller coaster ride for me. As many of you know, I'm usually a pretty easy going guy, happy and well adjusted (most days anyway...). Well lately I have been feeling lonely and discarded, mostly by some of the people who I thought (and who said) they cared.
I am a Christian, a disciple of Christ (one and the same biblically, by the way), and our goal as Christians is to imitate Christ's life. Since the Bible says God is love and since Jesus was God, then you can deduce that Jesus was also love. The Bible clearly and often shows that Jesus was an incredibly loving and sacrificial man. The problem was that I assumed that his followers shared Jesus' heart. Now, I have to be careful here, because it is not my intention WHATSOEVER to portray my brothers and sisters in a negative way. I have spoken with these people and have shared my thoughts and frustrations and the anger I have felt as it has not felt like we are trying to be like this in Jesus in our ministry.
At one point, I was really hurting and was feeling like nobody in my group really was concerned about me. I approached one particular brother and shared with him that I just needed a friend to be there for me, just to call or check in with occasionally, like friends would. Just to see how I'm doing. I humbled myself and was basically begging him for help. He told me that it wasn't very attractive and for the next five or six weeks, not a peep. No phone calls, no emails, texts, FB messages, NOTHING. This is someone who said earlier this year that he looked up to me and respected me a lot. I was hurt, devastated.
I had a very challenging (for both of us) conversation with him, and shared with him that I cannot sit around and watch this ministry self destruct, while people walk away from God when we should be prioritizing people. I am not talking about just myself, but a myriad of situations that have happened in the past few years and I just could not sit back and watch it any longer.
The good news is that things have been improving, slowly, but I'm totally fine with that. I am convinced that if we call ourselves Christians, the only way we are going to win the world is to LOVE it. That was Jesus' way and that should be our way as well. I have much more to say about this topic which will continue to be addressed with individuals.
What I've taken away from this experience is multi-fold: 1. I need to rely on God, not men (not even my spiritual family). I am responsible for my life, therefore I need to approach God first EVERY time. 2. I don't think I am out of line to expect spiritual men and women to treat me like they would anyone else. The New Testament is replete with examples of loving and loving unconditionally. I hope to do some teaching to my ministry and maybe even a broader group. 3. I can only get my needs met through God. Without God I can do nothing spiritually good. 4. I need to persevere, no matter what the challenges. I look at examples like Job (because I've felt a little like that lately, only not to that extreme obviously). 5. If I don't do it, who will? Who will stand up for the little guy? Who will call men and women to truly FOLLOW Christ?
So the journey begins...
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On to other things... So, I got a job in January working for a hotel in reservations and also selling tickets (concerts, etc.) and I am really enjoying it. I do wish it paid more, but I believe that other opportunities will present themselves eventually. Until then, I will continue to enjoy and do my very best there. I really appreciate a company that has good people, good systems and people that are happy much more than not. It definitely makes the day a little nicer...
As a result of working for a hotel, I decided to take some time off in July to get out of town and go see some other scenery. So I went to Tacoma for a conference 7/8 and 7/9 and then drove to Eugene, OR and stayed at our hotel there. For free!!! Got up early the next day and drove to Ashland, OR to visit some great friends and go to our sister church there. Thanks to Tyler B, I had a super comfy place to stay and lots of great fellowship. Got a tour of SOU and had a great short hike/prayer walk up in an amazing park there.
On 7/11, I drove to Coos Bay, OR and stayed one night there, too. Again, for free. Went to the beach and just had a blast, what a beautiful place that was!!! Prayed and read and just soaked it all in. It was amazing!
on 7/12 I decided to take a drive up the coast from Coos Bay to Lincoln City, about 125 miles. Stopped at the Sea Lion Caves and about every 5 minutes it seemed like. I took dozens of amazing shots, one of which I hope to frame because it really came out beautifully! I was in Waldport, OR and was smitten by its beauty. Yachats was pretty amazing too, but my fave picture came from Waldport. I won't post it here because I don't want anyone stealing it for their own gain. Some of my other pictures I took are on Facebook.
I finally made it to Portland where I stayed at Jantzen Beach. Wow, that was a really beautiful hotel!!! I did have to pay for that one... about $46! Before heading home I found Trader Joe's in Vancouver, WA and stumbled onto Ikea and had to go in. I was pretty disciplined, but did spend about $40 there. Then drove home. I was only able to get 6 days total off work, would have liked to have a couple more, but I can't complain, it was a great trip. The weather almost the whole time was AMAZING! It rained in the morning on 7/12, but the sun came out very early and it was a gloriously beautiful day! The 225 miles from Coos Bay to Portland took me about 10 hours! But I enjoyed it so much. Prayed at this beach just north of the Sea Lion Caves and picked up a bunch of shell pieces. I was not in a hurry and was able to take time to see all that the Oregon Coast had to offer!
All tolled, I put almost 1700 miles on the car in 6 days. A little more driving than I would have preferred, but enjoyed it immensely nonetheless. My employer has very nice hotels and got great sleep and much relaxation in the rooms. Also got to use the hot tubs at Eugene and Coos Bay. Nice!
The other great thing I was able to do on the trip was to see my step-sisters, Becky and Chrissy, again after many years. Got to meet Chrissy's young daughter who was super adorable and funny. Got a chance to talk and catch up with each other. It was really a priceless time with them. Hope to be able to do it again *soon*. I also got to see a good friend briefly in Medford. It was really good to see him!!!
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Before I left on vacation, I started to tear out my dining room. I was concerned about possible health issues as a result of the environmental conditions there. My concerns seem to have been alleviated, but have been very busy with tearing out walls, wiring and just now, starting to put everything back together. I started by raised the ceiling from about 7' to almost 8'. I have almost finished framing the ceiling and have begun to rewire the room. With a little help from Scott K, my attic light, stairwell light, porch light and garage light are now working again after 16 months! Can't wait to tear out the multiple layers of flooring, then insulating, and putting up drywall, painting, trim, etc. I hope to be done by about 10/1. I'm really enjoying it and learning a TON! Pics are available on Facebook. Oh, and I found a new backsplash for my kitchen tonight, it's pretty awesome! That's one of the last things to worry about, but when I saw this stuff that was cheaper than most of the other options, I had to jump on it...
So finally, I have decided to look into opportunities inside and outside of Spokane. I am still in the midst of reinventing myself and I feel like I need to try something new. I will keep you updated if anything comes up. Please pray for God to open the doors that need to be open and to close doors that need to be closed. One possibility is school, I would like to go back and finish my Bachelor's degree. Would like business management or international business degree.
So, I think that wraps it up for now. Thank you so much for checking in on me and I appreciate that you have been patiently waiting for my next post. Now that things are getting better, I plan to do this more often, barring spending every waking moment working on my dining room! Buenos Nachos and until we meet again!
