Getting Motivated!

Well despite the past month-and-a-half having more than it's fair share of challenges in my life and health, I am feeling motivated.  Say what you want, and I have a few friends who do not believe in a God, but I know what I believe because I believe I am living out my faith.  I'm honest, open, sometimes raw, sometimes angry, sometimes completely humbled.  But I am never outside of the sight, much less the graces, of an incredibly huge and powerful Father.  I'm so grateful for not only grace from God, but from many others as well.

I'm thankful for those faithful, loving friends that bear with me during the times I'm struggling, sometimes being an ear, and at other times, a shoulder.  Yes, I have shed many tears in the past couple of years, but know this, I don't regret a single tear.  I have earned them, learned from them, and they are my bond with my God.  He knows every one I have cried, both in the presence of trusted friends, and especially the ones I have shed only in his presence. I know he does not take a single one of them lightly. He allows them because he knows they will make me better and help me to get closer to him.  I am totally convinced of this fact because I am growing, and I am allowing God to have the ultimate control of my life (although sometimes with a little battle.....).

I know there is a bigger plan in all this, and so many times He has encouraged me to stay strong, despite times where I have felt empty, exhausted, and at the end of my rope.  But, so far, God has helped me to get up, dust myself off, and hit the trail again.  Countless times I have found myself on the ground, feeling defeated, feeling lonely, feeling lost.  But so far God's mercy has allowed me to be 100% successful in just getting back up. I think that is so powerful. Sometimes that's all you need.

I know that this is dangerous to say, but I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances any longer.  Not only do I not want it, but I don't think I can afford to any more.  I need to get up, face the challenges with courage and confidence that God has my back.  (Anyone who calls himself a Christian should live this way) I need to get back on the horse and head into battle.  My circumstances have not changed, but I want to be faithful with what I *do* have.  There are still a ton of challenges I am facing, but with the grace of God, he will allow me to face them successfully; however he sees fit to bless that.

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So, they have cut back my hours at work.  Next week, it's only 25 hours.  I'm supposed to get 40.  That's a HUGE reduction in my pay.  I am also needing to move in a month.  I have no idea how that is going to happen....  But I also don't feel worried.  God has brought me through way bigger things than that in the past few years.  He's in control, and I will do my part to navigate these, but now, by sight, I have NO idea how this will happen.  LOL.  Oh well, God IS faithful.....

I was able to hang out with my good friend Alan Erickson today.  It was an incredibly beautiful, sunny day in Seattle.  60 degrees (16C) and it felt so nice and warm as we prayed and talked at the Seattle Waterfront. Here was our view:

Even through all the darkness I have felt in my life, God has provided so many of those little glimmers of light/hope that have kept me going and encouraged. Every time I try to see that they are, in fact, God and I always try to thank God for them.  Even the smallest bit of light in a dark place are incredibly welcome!

So now I put my hand to the work that's ahead of me.  One of the positives of working a bit less is that now I have more time to write!  Please pray for me to be disciplined in this so that I can have hope to possibly get out of a situation that is not ideal.  So that I can move forward in my life and get this book on love out of my head and into the hands of people that are serious about having better relationships!  Pray for me to make the most of the opportunity I have been given, and not to see it as a bad thing, but as a blessing!

I also wanted to thank God for the brother (and his wife) that gave me a new, to me, phone.  My other phone was starting to have some pretty serious issues and they were getting more frequent and severe.  This new phone is so fancy.  I feel so spoiled.  How do you say thankful for such a generous gift?  I'll start with lasagna, but I don't think that's nearly enough....

I'm grateful for my old BT accountability group.  We have committed to continuing to meet and I'm just super encouraged by the trajectory of a number of things in my life.  Please also pray for me to continue to grow in my relationship with God, so that we can grow even stronger as a group.

I'll leave it at that for now.  I'll keep you updated on the progress on the book. Thanks for your support and taking the time to read up tonight.  Have a great week!