Processing...

Yesterday was not a good day. Nothing bad happened, but I guess just the reality of things was beginning to hit me.  People ask me how I'm doing and I always try to see the bright side.  Sometimes I'm just glad to have an answer to "How's (a specific situation) going to turn out?", even if it's not the answer I would like, I'm grateful and happy to have an answer.  But knowing myself, it usually takes a few days for the reality of what has happened to really sink in.  That was yesterday, and yes, it was a Monday.  LOL.

So I got up and was just generally not feeling hot.  Not sick, per se, but just feeling tired and worn out. I think I also might have had a small stomach bug, too, but it would suffice to say that I was just not feeling great yesterday.

Looking back, it was sad, but even at times, it was kind of funny.  I kind of moped around and as I was getting ready to head out to have dinner with a married couple from church, I couldn't find my camera that a friend had sent me from the states.  I was totally perplexed.  I knew I hadn't taken it out of my room, and I knew my housemates wouldn't have taken it, but it wasn't ANYWHERE...  I finally said, "I just don't care," and left....  Guess I was just feeling overwhelmed in the moment.  I got home and thought about it for a minute and found it.  Under the bed, of course!! LOL.

I was feeling frustrated about not getting the job last week, having to continue the job search, doubting my language skills, feeling overwhelmed by debt piling up, having a headache, stomach issues, etc.  You get the idea.  To some extent, this has just been a brutal waiting game. I was praying and God reminded me last night of how He has really met my needs, taken such great care of me, given me friends and way more than I could ask or imagine. He really has...  The things I have prayed for (everything but a job, thus far), God has blessed me with more than just the thing I prayed for, but has really given me MUCH more.  So I surmised that God really is still here with me, providing for my needs for now, and that should be enough for me.  If I can be grateful just to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach for now, I should just be thankful.  The good news is that I have much more than that.

Walking from the train station to their house last night, I was just praying and trying to be open with God about my frustrations and disappointments.  It was about a 10-minute walk and was able to get to my destination feeling a bit more surrendered about my perception of God's speed in handling my requests.  We had a great pasta dinner and some encouraging conversation.  I'm very grateful for the time and grateful I was able to get out of the house for a while to change my attitude!

I have set a deadline for finding a job for next Monday, Nov. 25.  If I don't have a job by then, I will be starting to look for work as well in the U.S. (most likely Seattle).  Please pray for me to have a job offer by then so that I will have time to put my requests through the foreigners authority. Otherwise I will probably be back in the states on Dec. 19 or 20.  Thanks for all your prayers and support.