Major Anniversary Disappointment

I really wanted to write something tonight and I couldn't really think of much.  But the past day or two I have been just a little bit melancholy about something and I was talking to Matthias about it today so I figured I would share it on the blog as well.

This coming Tuesday, June 11, 2013 marks the 25th anniversary of my high school graduation ceremony.  My high school is in Zweibrücken, which is relatively far away from Berlin.  I really wanted to be in Zwei on that day because I wanted to take some video to be shown at the "all-years" reunion taking place in Las Vegas in about a month. I am so close (relatively speaking), but just can't afford to go.  Not to mention the fact that I am still in the midst of looking for a job and only having 30 days before possibly having to return to the states if I don't have a reason to be here. I just can't justify being away from Berlin for any amount of time right now.

I realized a couple days ago that I'm super bummed out about this.  I went to my 10-year reunion in Orlando, FL in 1998 and I remember catching the shuttle bus with Keith Z ('87) and I remember the conversation so well.  His co-workers asked him why he wanted to go to his reunion.  He told them that the school was like family, he couldn't NOT go.  I totally felt the same way.

As military brats we built a special bond somehow.  Honestly, when I first moved to Zweibrücken in my sophomore year of high school, I didn't realize how unique this group of people really was.  We were close, and we were a small school. We even had some middle school kids too, which means as a high school, we really were very small!  It was such a great group of friends!  Sure, we had cliques and jocks and nerds and the whole array of people, but there was something really special during that time.  By the time I graduated in 1988, there was a notable difference in the people that were there.  I really did enjoy a very fun and unique time in my high school years there. I will never forget my Zweibrücken family.

I say all that to just convey how special I regard those years there.  The last time I went there, in 1989, was to watch my two best friends Paul W and Kerry M graduate.  Since then, I have only dreamed of going back.  I'm so grateful to be back in Germany under amazing circumstances, and honestly I hope to be able to go back to Zwei any time I want to in the coming years, but the fact remains that I'm kind of mourning not being able to celebrate this this anniversary there.

In the whole scheme of things, this really isn't a very big deal.  I was coming home tonight and I'm still in awe of the fact that I'm in Germany.  I thank God regularly for allowing me to come here.  My dream is to be able to stay and if going to Zwei would hinder that IN ANY WAY, then I don't want to do it right now.  In my life the past two years (especially) I have had to sacrifice my time, money, and energy to fulfill my dream to return here with the hope to help out the church in any way that I can.  I don't want to jeopardize that on a frivolous trip (especially one that I cannot afford) when there are so many things that I need to focus on here in Berlin.  It's hard, but I believe it's the right thing.  For me, it's good just to write it down so that I can deal with how I feel about it, then I can move forward with the other more important things.

Well, on that note, I need to move on to bed, it's 12:30a.m. and I have church in the morning. Thanks for looking in on me!  Have a great rest of your weekend.  Follow your dreams, they're worth it!