It's a Bittersweet Symphony

Sometimes life is just hard and unfair.  Despite amazing things that God is doing in my life right now, my heart is heavy tonight.  Today one of my best friends, one of the closest things I have to a brother (who is not actually family) has given us news today that I have been dreading to hear. Almost a year ago, Chris, the woman I have called my "Spokane mom", was diagnosed with, I believe, stage 4 cancer.  She has endured two rounds of chemotherapy already but unfortunately is in her last days here on earth with us.

A few years ago, I somewhat jokingly asked her if she and her two sons (two of my very best friends) would adopt me into their family, I was 38 years old.  Apparently they actually talked about it and agreed to do it!  Since then, I have enjoyed such great fellowship with the family.  I didn't actually join them for family functions or anything like that, but it was kind of an honorary thing...   So, Chris really was my Spokane mom.  Many a time we spent just talking and I even helped her look for and buy the car that she has driven for about two years now.  Time goes by so fast.  At any rate, I have such great memories of her, but unfortunately I have only been able to watch from a distance as the cancer has taken such a toll on her body and the rest of the family, especially her two sons.  It breaks my heart that I can't be there to support and give love, encouragement, and just listen to two people I love share this challenging chapter in their lives.  I wish so dearly that I could be there right now...

On top of that, her oldest son is getting married in two days.  As I recall, last year when her diagnosis was described as "terminal", all she wanted was to be able to be there when her boys got married (please let me know if this is not completely accurate, but this is how I remember it).  God, please give her the strength she needs to be there for the wedding.

The good news is that Chris is definitely a faithful disciple, a brave woman that for the last year has had to deal with her own mortality, knowing that there was a good chance she would not survive this disease.  She has faced it with such courage and strength and faith.  Chris, I will miss you so much, but am so excited that your pain will be gone and there will be no more tears, no more worries and you will get to see our almighty father in heaven.

Sometimes it's just good to get these things off my heart.  I know that this has been a roller coaster ride of a blog the last few months, but I decided to continue writing for my family and friends to follow what is going on with me here, halfway across the world from them.  It has helped them to understand a little bit of what I see and do and experience here, which has been very encouraging for me.  One thing I did not expect from this blog is how therapeutic it has been for me to just share my heart through writing.  I feel it has helped me feel closer to God and to all of you.  That has been one of the most powerful things about this blog for me. I am so grateful for your support, for your constant prayers (over 4 1/2 months!) and your feedback.

 I think that's enough for me for tonight. I already feel better... Sometimes life is hard and unfair, but life does still go on.  Onward I go....