For the last few days, the amazing Katja has been planning a party for me, which took place tonight. Neither of us knew if it would be a celebration or good-bye party until, well, tonight! It may still not be good-bye, but either way, I was extremely encouraged. At the party were Sameh, Katja, Jolee, Corinne, Andreas, Kurt, Oliver, Cynthia, Christiana, Kyeung, Anka, Vlad, Florence, Jürgen, Christoph and myself. People shared, but it occurred to me as people were sharing that the friendships with these amazing people have happened in only six months! I feel like I have known many of them for much longer because the friendship we share is so deep. It was extremely encouraging and humbling to hear everyone's hearts and the experiences, the fun times and deep, meaningful times we shared. Thank you to everyone who was able to come and for sharing good things about me!
Tomorrow morning I go in to the Foreigner Registration office to plead my case. I have decided that I am not going to project anything on this talk. I appreciate the people that have said we should be praying for God's will.... not just what I want. There is a lot of wisdom in this. This is sort of a last ditch effort to see if God really wants me to stay. I have been praying for God to make it very obvious. Either way this goes, either yea or nay, I believe it will be obvious. Tomorrow I will begin to make plans based on what I find out. Potentially I could be back in Seattle in the next few days. I have no intention on staying longer if they tell me I must leave.
Confession time here. First of all I want to say that this has been the single most challenging thing I have ever done, but it has also been one of the most rewarding, too. I have given my whole heart to it and I believe God has blessed it way beyond my wildest expectations. I don't say that lightly, he really has... The reality of where I am at physically and emotionally is that I am tired. I have tried hard to find a job, build relationships, and be what God wants me to be as a man, and as a brother to the family here, but I really am just tired now. I've given my all and I don't regret my time here, and the relationships I have built. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying, right now I don't feel discouraged or defeated, just that I have worked very hard. The last thing I want to do is to fight God on this, but I do want to pursue every avenue before I finalize my decision. I want to be able to confidently say, "I gave it my best shot to stay, I left no stone un-turned", and I can return to the US with a clear conscious, no regrets that there was something more I could have done. Isn't that the way we all want to live?
It's late and I need to get some rest. I am a very blessed man to have so many people love me in this amazing city. I love them so much and I hope that I can either stay now and find a job quickly, or be back soon to finish what God has started here. I have a deep sense of accomplishment about my time here; but will be sorry if it does, in fact, have to end here. I'll post again tomorrow (time permitting) to let you know the next steps. Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts and vibes, keep 'em coming!
No comments:
Post a Comment