So I have to acknowledge that my being here in London and having the ability to go back to school for the first time sine 1991 is nothing short of a miracle of God himself. That said, I'm exhausted!!!
But I survived my first week of my intensive CELTA certification course to teach English as a second language, and to be honest, it was fraught with some pretty intense challenges.
A week ago last Monday, I had flown to Berlin to look for apartments with a brother from Amsterdam. I pushed myself really hard and even through discouraging prospects, fought to persevere and push myself to my physical limits. And I did so happily! But by Friday, I was pretty wiped out! On average in London, I was walking about 10,000 steps per day. In Berlin, I was averaging over 14,000!
My flight left BER at almost 11pm on Friday night and it was packed! It was through British Airways, but it was staffed by Iberian Airlines. And I didn't get the sense that the crew really knew what they were doing. I've never felt that before on a flight.
Anyway, the flight was fine, we got in on time and everything, but we landed at midnight on 7/29. Well at that same time, there was a rail strike starting. I also flew in and out of Gatwick Airport, which is pretty far south of London, so pretty much the only public transportation option was trains at that time of night... So that wasn't happening.
The queue for taxis was at least 100 people deep, and no buses. So it was walking 50 miles or Uber. The uber was about 72 pounds, or almost $100. Yikes! But when I went to book it, it deleted my request because now there was a higher demand. So it increased the rate 1.8X! My final bill was about 120 pounds. I don't want to even do that math....
Anyway, I got home about 2 a.m. and crashed immediately. And I enjoyed my last weekend of freedom with disciples before starting my class on Monday.
So I went to class on Monday and I had a bit of a tickle in my throat. Concerning but hoping it wouldn't turn into anything. On my first day, our instructor said that we really can't afford to miss any days of class since it's an intensive course.
But I think I caught a bug on that flight back from Berlin, because the next day I had to call out. I didn't know what that even meant. I didn't want to push the boundaries of the course, but I didn't have a choice. Then, all the thoughts went through my head: "what if it's Covid?" "What if I get someone else sick when I go back?" "Can I even make up my first missed teaching practice?"
I was really stressed about how I could navigate missing a day in this course.
So on Tuesday, as I was home sick, I went out to get some food at the grocery store and grab a few things. When I returned home, there was someone waiting for us. It was an exterminator, that had made an appointment several weeks ago that this (of all days!!) was the day he was going to spray the house and I couldn't be there for 3-4 hours. I asked if there was any way to reschedule. He said no.
Ugh.
So where do you go when you're sick and you can't be at home? I was like "Really, God???" Now what do I do? So I decided to go to a coffee shop and do a little bit of reading. That killed like 1.5 hours.... Then I went to pray at a park near my house. But when I was praying, before I could pray the sentence I had formed in my head, I would pass out! I was on a bench praying, then sleeping, praying then sleeping! This happened several times.
After about 3.5 hours, I was finally able to return home to rest and recover a bit.
And when I returned to class on Wednesday, the instructor assured me that we could work it out. But I had to give my first teaching practice THAT DAY!
Which brings up the second issue that I was having: technical issues downloading the software I will need to do my lessons. I had just purchased a new laptop right before I left Seattle as I knew I would need something for my class. But for some reason I was not able to download it onto that laptop. I was told by the software company that I didn't have a "full version" of Windows. Huh???
Thankfully I brought my old laptop with me that's about 4 years old. It's an HP and it's far and away the worst piece of technology I've ever owned. Nothing seems to work right, it's just garbage. I rarely use it, and even though it's 4.5 years old, it has easily less than a year's worth of use. Probably more like 6 months worth of use.
So Wednesday night I decided that was priority one! But it took THREE hours to download it and once I had it on my system, my laptop was glitching out badly. So I spent some time removing some other programs that I no longer needed and one browser. After rebooting a few times (which took up to 30 minutes each), it was unclear if it would work. I went to bed very late and very tired and just prayed that it was enough to move forward.
I shut down the laptop and took it to school. I pulled it out and was preparing myself for the worst. Thankfully, it BOOTED. RIGHT. UP!! Thank you God! Thankfully I also didn't have to do a teaching practice that day, but I did need to do one the next day, Friday.
And I was also doing all this while sick, blowing my nose constantly, coughing, the whole nine yards!
So Thursday night I got home after a long day and I was pretty wiped out! But I was encouraged to actually be able to do my homework on the software that was finally on my laptop! So I got it started and for some reason, the application shut down on my screen, it just disappeared. I couldn't figure out what happened and I couldn't get it to come back. So I decided to reboot. Problem was, Microsoft decided that was the perfect time to do an update! At about 10:30 p.m.....
Ugh............
An hour later when the update was finished and I couldn't function any more. I just went to bed and hoped I'd be fresh enough in the morning to get it done after I get up.
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I was able to get my homework done before work and it was ultimately a successful week.
There were clearly so many challenges that were big and daunting, not to mention the fact that I haven't seen the inside of a classroom (as a student) in more than 31 years. But what I'm learning through all of this is that all of these things were not unknown to, or unplanned, by God. Just the opposite is true, that each one of these issues was allowed by God to expose my character. So what have I learned about my character through them?
1. Lack of trust in God. Now some might say that I am living out my faith by this extraordinary time in my life. Yes, but that's only partially true. I'm a grumbler. I whine and gripe when things don't go the way I think they should. God HATES grumbling. So much so, that for the Israelites that he rescued from Egypt and did miracle after miracle (like the parting of the Red Sea, sending manna every day to feed them, and even the rescue itself), he said that they would not be allowed to enter the land he promised them! And then he made them wander through the desert for 40 years and they did not enter the promised land. God took care of their every need and yet it wasn't enough for them. I'm doing the EXACT same thing. (Deut. 1 & 2)
2. Not rejoicing in sufferings. As much as I hate to admit this one, it's sooooo hard to do! But the Bible is also super clear.... "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, I will say it again, REJOICE!" Phillipians 4:4 and that I don't trust God when he is challenging my character. The only chance for me to get to heaven is to allow God to mold me to be more like him. He's not trying to make my life hard, he's trying to make my heart soft like his. His goal is for me to pray more, not to get more angry or frustrated. That's unfortunately where my heart has been at.
1 Peter 4:12-13 - Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
So I wanted to apologize to everyone, and to God, for my ungodly posts last week. I'm saddened that I haven't trusted God with everything. He's blessing my life so much right now and I have the gall to complain about how he's doing it. Please forgive me as I also ask forgiveness from God.
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers of support. I'm grateful for the love you show me and our friendships. Sorry to be a poor example in the area of my faith.
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So I'll close this by attaching a photo of my first day of school. I couldn't resist. Thanks Harry for taking the picture. I needed a good laugh after this week! Love you all!
