Friday, November 21, 2014

Really Needing a Little Time Off

If you are reading this within a week or two of my writing this post, I have a special request of you:  Please read all the way to the bottom.  I'll keep it short, I promise....

So, I have been thinking a lot about my life, the direction I should be going, and what the next step in my journey should be.  I've thought a lot about this, and certain events have confirmed suspicions about what my options are.

I wrote a while back that I really wanted to try to get some writing done on my book and I have only been able to do a very small amount of writing since then and I'm finding it very challenging to have free time and a free mind to organize my thoughts better and to actually sit down and write.

On top of that, even though my job has been getting much better recently, I still have not really had any time off since March, more than just a couple days.  I feel pretty physically exhausted and am looking to get some time away so that I can do just that.... clear my mind and be able to relax so that I can put pen to paper (so to speak).

So, I have found a hotel room in Ocean Shores, WA where I can have some quiet.  During the first week or two of December, they offer great deals, starting at about $50/night.  I am so convinced this book will be a key in helping people to learn how to love other people (with it's foundations firmly planted in scripture), but simply don't have the ability to afford much earning $13/hour and living in Seattle.

I need to structure/restructure the thoughts and the ideas, as well as the scriptures and examples I will be using in the book.  There is a lot of overlap in topics and I need to have the time to sort through them, putting them in as logical an order as possible.  I will also be able to sit down and put together a presentation to publishers that will show them how valuable this book will be to people in their relationships with God and each other. God has put so much on my heart on this subject.  The topics are very powerful and very practical.

So, I hate to even have to ask, but I just have no other options at the moment.  Even though I live very simply, my budges is unfortunately maxed out by the bills that I do have. Please help me to fulfill this dream of mine to finally start making some very serious progress on this very important project, which is incredibly complex and time-consuming. I'm asking for my readers that are willing and able, to sponsor me for a night (or two, if possible), but any amount would be helpful and greatly appreciated.  For any donations $25 or more, I will give you a shout-out in my book as well.

So, thank you so much for reading this all the way to the end.  I hope you can truly appreciate what this project means for me, but more importantly, how it will impact so many people!  Please click the link below if you would like to give. Thank you!!!



Monday, November 10, 2014

What a Day!

Well, I have not updated two days in a row recently, but here we go.  I just wanted to share my very special day.  If not for your entertainment, then certainly to record it for my own benefit.

The day started with church and a great time of worship and time with my brothers and sisters.  Had a short but very encouraging time with the Renfrows, whom I love dearly.  Few people know my heart like these  amazing friends. Thank you both!

Then I headed to watch my Seahawks lay a serious smackdown on the New York Giants, as I hung out with my brothers and sisters and just enjoying some chill time....

Then, it was off to the Mauerparty, celebrating 25 years (today) of the fall of the Berlin Wall. I got to meet new friends, spoke a ton of German and had some great German food and watched videos, slide shows, current and past news programs, books, etc., which reminded me of things I saw in 1986 that are no longer there. Things I had completely forgotten.

I know this may not be all that exciting for you to read, but I'm beyond encouraged to have done what I did today.  I love my brothers and sisters, my Seahawks, and all things German.  That being said, there are only a few things that I could imagine that would have made my heart happier than it was today.  It was a long day, but a very encouraging time.  Thank you, God!  I hope you can enjoy the things in life that bring you this kind of joy.  I wish that for you.  May you dream big, and may God give you the desires of your heart!

Good night and have a great week!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

I Want to Be In Berlin SO Bad Today!

Hi all!  Thanks for tuning in to What's Up With Tim.... tonight I'm just going to talk a little bit about Berlin because today is an extremely exciting and historic day there.

Twenty-five years ago today was absolutely one of the most important days in modern world history, where an absolutely horrific concrete monument to division, ideological and personal, began to crumble.  A monument to fear and control, upon which ONE people, of different countries, finally were able to dance and sing, cry and celebrate with family, friends and with perfect strangers!  On that day, everyone was family!  That day was over 28 years in the making, and brought about an incredible and nearly audible sigh of relief for men all over the world.

It wasn't the first domino to fall, but it WAS the most important one!  This was the crack in the iron curtain that was to be it's ultimate demise, and it was very long overdue.

I have always been so fascinated by the cold war era, from the cloak and dagger espionage of World War II Berlin, to the creation of a separated Europe, to it's ultimate reunification, this time in history was fraught with deep secrets of government so insecure that some estimate that 1/4 of the population of East Germany essentially employed by the "State Security" (Stasi) to report any suspicious activities of neighbors.

I have previously written in this blog about my first visit to East Berlin in 1986 as a 16-year old high school student and the impressions of that time that still follow me, and to some extent still haunt me.  There are things I will never forget.  The obvious sadness in people's faces, the lack of color in the city, the guards on watch on Alexanderplatz.  These images will live in my mind forever....

On November 9, 1989, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I found out the wall had come down.  I was living in Munich and going to the University of Maryland on McGraw Kaserne.  I had gone to class that day and had come home pretty tired from the day.  It was maybe 4pm or so and I decided to go back to bed and take a long nap, which I never did. When I got up, around 6pm, I turned on the TV.  I had a US television set and could only receive the US station, AFN.  But all I remember seeing was hundreds of Germans on top of the wall that had just until that morning had separated families: one race of men.

Now, all of the sudden, they were taking pickaxes and whatever they could find to destroy that damned wall that stood for everything contrary to the indomitable human spirit.  It was finally going away!!!  The flow of humanity and excitement could no longer be stopped.  It was over!  The line of Trabants coming west was kilometer-long and the throng of celebrating humanity has never been seen before in Germany, and may never be seen again in our lifetime.

But back in my dorm room in Munich, as I sat on my bed in shock and disbelief, but with utter joy, the tears uncontrollable.  I remember not being able to even see the screen through the warm salty tears welling up in my eyes, then travelling down my cheeks to soak my shirt.  I wanted to get up and dance, I wanted to scream and yell and celebrate with anyone and everyone I saw.  Because I saw the way it had been on the other side of that horrible prison wall.

I was very blessed to have been able to live in Berlin for two months in 1992 as well.  One day, as I was riding my bike, I had only made it a few blocks from home before I stopped suddenly.  Though there was really no trace of it, I had stopped in No-Man's-Land.  For those not familiar with this term (or at least how it pertains to Berlin), basically there were two walls.  There was a wall on to the west, and one wall to the east.  First, this made it twice as difficult to escape, but the area between the walls was about 100 meters, and laden with mines, razor wire, etc.  That was no-man's land.

So, here I was standing right in the dead zone, where in the middle of the city there had been no buildings, no roads, only devices and guards with weapons to keep their citizens in. Or else.

So, I looked around me and realized that I was crossing over to the east.  This was less than 3 years after the wall had begun to come down.  It was obvious by the look of the buildings that I was entering a different place.  I paused for a moment to just take it in.  Then I got back on my bike and headed north into the center of Berlin, on the east. The area I stopped in is near Moritzplatz, and is now almost completely indiscernible from when I saw it on that day in September 1992.  To a large extent I'm glad about that.

So what can I say about all this?  I'm not sure.  I guess this is just me strolling down memory lane with you a bit.  I'm feeling so excited for my German family today, yet wishing I could be there to celebrate with you, to share your stories and sharing my small piece of my indelible experiences as well.  Germany will always have a very powerful and special place in my heart, and it's exactly this kind of thing that will always solidify my love of that people and the land, and its history.  These things can never be taken from me, because they have made me who I am today.

I guess it all comes full circle as, even now, my eyes are welling up with tears of joy and deep gratitude and as they roll down my cheeks; just as they had a quarter century ago. Those days I remember as though they had just happened yesterday.  Thank you, God, for allowing me to be able to be there.  I know I will return in your time.  I just ask that you speed the day.

So, finally tonight, I wanted to share a book that I read while I was in Berlin and HIGHLY recommend it for anyone interested in knowing more about this incredible time in history.  The book is called Tear Down This Wall by Romesh Ratnesar.  Here is a link to some more information on the book if you're interested:  http://books.simonandschuster.com/Tear-Down-This-Wall/Romesh-Ratnesar/9781416556916
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It's after midnight in Seattle, and later tonight, I am joining a group of Germans at a "Mauerparty" to talk about our experiences, have a beer and some German food.  I'm so excited to have this experience. I miss Germany with all my heart.  I'm giving my heart here in Seattle more and more, but I yearn for what I consider to be the place I really belong....  It's hard to be so far from where my heart is.  I want to let you all know there that I love you and miss you deeply, and that I can't wait for the day where I can be with you all again. Bis hoffentlich bald!!!!

With all my love, Tim

Where the Wall once stood between Spandau and Falkensee



Sunday, November 2, 2014

New Direction

Good evening all!  Thanks for taking time out of your life to read up on what's going on in my life.  I'm finally getting all the chaos of my life somewhat organized in my heart and getting back on top of all the challenges.  I still feel overwhelmed by the things that are going on, and some days I feel like I'm making progress, sometimes I feel like just going back to bed.  Either way, I try to keep going, moving forward, but in some ways I feel a bit aimless, not sure where I should put my time and energy.

Obviously, my relationship with God is first, with people second, and like anyone, have work and home responsibilities... 

Well, I have said it before (if not in this blog, definitely in my conversations with others), but I really need to get back on writing my book. With all the challenges I have been facing, this is much easier said than done. But it is possible.  November is National Novel Writing Month (we really DO have a month or day for just about everything!).  Also, apparently there was a sermon at the International Singles Conference just over a month ago about "52", essentially encouraging people to consistently add a positive habit, and commit to it for 52 days.  So, with those two things, I have decided to write.

I really believe in the power of the Bible and this book I'm writing is on relationships and is based on Biblical principles.  I believe that some of the concepts really have not been dealt with and I have seen so many people do things the wrong way (myself included).  I also believe that the implementation of these concepts will not only change our own lives, it will change our churches and the world.  I know it sounds a little "pie in the sky," but I really believe it with all my heart.
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I've also been very encouraged lately about friendships that I have been building here.  They are truly helping me, and hopefully I will be able to encourage them as well. 

I have also sent an email to the company that I trained with at this time last year in Berlin to see if they have any positions opening soon.  They liked me and I liked it there as well, and we'll see if God blesses that or if he wants me to stay here longer.  I feel like I need to start moving forward in my life because I feel well and truly stuck right now.

I'm really working on my attitude, which some days is great, but other days I still struggle.  I am just praying that God will make it clear either way.

In the meantime, I have really been enjoying going out to the beach to pray, and just be quiet. With the somewhat wetter weather and colder temperatures lately, I haven't been there in a week or two, but it really has helped me feel closer with God.  Still have a lot of work to do there, but I'm grateful for whatever progress I can make.



I will continue to battle the challenges that I face, God willing, but please pray for me to be successful in my dream to finish the book, and be able to make it back to Berlin.

Thanks for catching up and am happy to answer any questions, either on here, by email or in social media.  Have a great week!