Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 -- What. A. Year.!!!!

Wow, it's hard to believe that 2013 is ending in 24 hours!  With everything that's been going on lately, it's been difficult to really sit down and consider 2014.  Buuuuut... since I have rediscovered my love of writing, what better place and time to do that, than now, and on my blog?

My 2013 started out good, albeit a bit rough.  After over a year and a half of labor, sweat, tears and a ridiculous amount of time and effort and money, in January I was finally able to call my dining room and kitchen renovation "complete"!  What an accomplishment that was!  At 43, being obese and while working, was able to complete such a monumental task!  (With the help of others, of course: Ryan G, Mike S, Kent D, Sara A, Scott K, etc.)  Unfortunately, this did not mean an end to the work.... Still had to install windows, front door, front stairs, install a new water heater, refinish the shower stall, etc. In all, work ceased beginning of April, just before my departure from Spokane.

In February, I lost my job working for Xerox Commercial Solutions as a reservationist at Red Lion Hotels due to a severe flu.  Fortunately, God showed me that this was my green light to ramp up my efforts to move to Germany by April 1.

During February and March, I was involved in the selling of most of my personal possessions, including 4 vehicles.  I drove my 78 Honda Civic to Canada and sold it to another fan of these cars (and the trip was an adventure in itself), then sold my 84 Toyota van to a local skate shop owner-to-be, then my 1972 Honda N600 that I had owned for 15 years to someone who had not only been looking for one of these cars for a long time, but also didn't want to trick it out... exactly my dream for the car as well.  Then selling the 98 CR-V the day before I flew out (a TOTAL blessing from God).

I also had an "open house" style Yard Sale at my house, where people could come into my house and purchase pretty much anything I had.  Had extremely generous individuals even pay me additional after hearing of my dream. Then, after 8 years together, I had to say good-bye to my little buddy Wolfi.  Due to my financial status and my impending move, I had to give him away.  Once again, God came through!  He went to my neighbors, who had another dog, a bigger yard for him to run in and two humans to love him.  One of the owners wanted to get a German Shepherd, the other wanted a Border Collie.  Guess what two breeds Wolfi was....  God made that one super obvious and very encouraging for both myself and for him.  Thanks, God!!

Then came my going away party on March 29.  There was probably 40 people there and lots of Mexican food brought by the amazing Mackin family.  Much sharing and good memories from over a decade in Spokane brought me to tears.  Thereafter, much work to clear out my home, sell my furniture and store what I didn't bring with me. Thanks to Ryan and Tori, Don C and David M, and others that came to my rescue to help me clean my house and paint my living room during a time of complete and utter exhaustion.

Finally, on April 3rd, I finally said good-bye to Spokane and headed toward Seattle.  I spent 5 days with family and friends and then boarded on a plane to Berlin on April 8.  After 20 1/2 years, I finally arrived back in Germany on April 9!

Since then, there are too many wonderful stories to re-tell here.  Feel free to read my story in this blog.  I would however, like to share a few thoughts from the nearly 9 months since I have arrived here.

First of all, I prayed often before I came to Germany for the Berlin church.  These brothers and sisters of mine that I had never met before; would they accept me, or just think I'm a crazy American?  Either way, it became obvious to me very quickly that this group of men and women would not only accept me, but love me and challenge me like the family they are.

I am humbled and encouraged by the love and generosity of the disciples in this city.  I feel so accepted, even cherished by you.  You have been patient with me through two "going away" parties for me, even though I stayed.  You have shared your hearts with me, your lives, you have served me and fed me and even individually helped me financially and even with buying some clothing.  You have laughed with me and cried with me and just been there to be an ear.  No matter what happens in the next two weeks, my heart will always be with you and in this city.

This year, without a doubt, has been the most incredible year of my life.  Incredibly hard work, incredibly encouraging, incredibly challenging, incredibly faith-building and incredibly rewarding.  As I look back at this year, 2013, my heart swells with gratitude for the remarkable blessings of friendship and love, especially which I feel I have personally received from God.  I am incredibly humbled by the way he has blessed every aspect of my life here. I am encouraged and indebted to you for what you have allowed me to experience in this place that I love so dearly.  I just pray that in some small way, I have been able to impact the hearts of people here.  I just wish that I could have done more.  Father, I am also deeply sorry for the times and the ways that I have not trusted you, where I have tried to resume control of my life.  I come before you humbly to ask for your forgiveness.

This year has absolutely blown me away.  God has been so faithful and he has blessed every prayer I had, except just one.  Father, I ask in the next 7 days for a miracle. I know you are capable of doing it, I just ask that you would be willing to bless it as well.  Either way, I trust you and I put my life in your hands.  Please help me to not be anxious about anything and to pray fervently for your will.

So, at this time, my plan is to return to the US on Jan. 15 if I don't have a job by Jan. 8.  I have an appointment with the Foreigners Registration office on Jan. 9, where I will need to provide them my job information so that I might have the chance to stay.  Even if I have to return to the US, I believe that God still knows my heart for Germany, and God-willing, I will be able to return again soon.

2013 has been the most amazing year of my life, bar none!  I want to thank the readers of this blog, who have clicked on my blog nearly 6,000 times since April of this year. I'm encouraged by you and I hope that 2014 will be a new, fresh beginning in my saga.  I hope to be able to report a new job soon (again, God-willing) and can't wait to see what God will do with this mess of a man.

Happy 2014 everybody, please be safe!  Enjoy your celebrations, but make sure to give God the glory for the new year.  He is amazing, he is real and he loves you, wherever you are at.  Vaya con Dios!!!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Staying in Germany Four More Weeks!

I've definitely been letting the events of the past few days sink in.  This has been a very "interesting" week.  The roller coaster again....

Where do I start?  Well, I guess I will just share how much I really enjoy this time of year in Germany.  It's so beautiful and I have visited 12 Christmas markets between Berlin and my trip to Munich a couple weeks ago.  Don't have too much money to spend at them these days, but I definitely enjoy going to them, even if it means just walking around and taking in the sights, sounds and smells; and maybe taking some pictures.

Over the past week and a half or so, I have been trying to figure out how to move forward with everything here.  My December 19 flight was getting closer and still no job offers.  So, I figured it couldn't hurt to at least call the airline to see what I could do about changing my ticket to "open-ended" or what my options might be.  My residence permit is still good until January 9th, so I just wanted to "buy some time" to see if I could still find work before then.

Without boring everyone with the details of this pursuit of answers to approximately 3-4 questions, I spent from December 10th until the 18th trying to figure out how to proceed with my tickets.  I made a total of 13 calls with a grand total of about FOUR HOURS on the phone with representatives and waiting on hold. Apparently this airline has a call center in India.  I called through to the U.S. 800# because it was free for me to call over Skype.  Unfortunately, this particular call center's system did not recognize the numbers when it asked you to make a choice (choose "3" to change your ticket, for instance).  So, I was forced to speak with a "general information" line first, before I could be sent on to the correct unit, back here in Europe.

In the course of these phone calls, I was forced to deal with their reps that either flat-out lied to me, or they were just inexperienced; had reps just try to transfer me before trying to answer my questions; had my laptop crash on me, had one rep call me back because he couldn't hear me on Skype, called phone numbers in the US and Germany, etc. etc etc. As a person who has done customer service all of my career, I was appalled at how many times I received bad service during this experience.

Finally, I spoke with two young ladies that were very nice and helpful and got me the information I needed.  The second one, I had asked about the possibility of changing my ticket to January and informed her that I would be unable to pay for it at that time. This was less than 48 hours before my flight was to leave Berlin.  She took all of my information and said she would "notate the file" with the information.

So the next morning, I got up and went to the city hall and "unregistered" with them in preparation for my flight the next day.  I came home to choose my seat on the plane and for some reason I was unable to do it.  I was confused and frustrated because I knew that I could do it within 24 hours of the flight.  After fighting with the system for about 15 minutes, I finally noticed that the date of the flight had, in actuality, been changed by the last person I spoke with the previous day.  So I had to call back to see what I had to do, and they confirmed the ticket had, in fact, been changed. Now, also, I was on the line to pay the $275 fee to change the ticket. Ugh...

I didn't know whether to be upset or happy.  It had been such a challenge to get to this point, I didn't want to try to change it back (I didn't know if it was even possible to do that since it's the middle of the holiday season).  Please pray for the airline to waive the fee to change my ticket.  With all the hassle, this would be very welcome and helpful to my financial situation.

There had also been a farewell party planned for me for that evening which I had just sent out text messages to about 20 people to invite them.  Now, I had to un-invite everyone and change all my plans.  After everything had been taken care of, I decided that I needed to go out and pray and I ended up on on Lake Tegel and spent an hour or so there just praying.  I was emotionally drained, but at least encouraged that I could stay another 4 weeks or so.  I had a great prayer there, watching the sunset as I sat on a bench in the forest looking over the lake, seeing the lights of the city reflected on the water and watching planes taking off from the airport in the distance.  Didn't mean to pray in a place where I would watch planes taking off from, just sort of happened that way.

I don't believe I am a vindictive person and I really tried to be patient in dealing with the airline, but I felt the sheer amount of problems I had with the call centers (and issues with their technology) that I filed a complaint online.  A day or so later, I received a survey in my email.

I would like to mention here that as a customer service representative myself, I always try to give positive feedback, because I know how it can affect an employees pay, bonuses or kudos, so I take these things very seriously.  I took the survey and I was trying to be fair and honest, but the scores were extremely low.  I recognized the efforts of the representatives that were helpful, but was honest about the reps that weren't.

Now I have had to deal with the fact that I will not be able to have Christmas with my family in Seattle this year.  I was really starting to look forward to it, too.  I am, however, okay with it if I can find a job in the next few weeks.  I have been trying to remain hopeful that I will get a job soon, but I think I am going to try to spend a few more days in Munich to personally apply at hotels and other companies to see about finding work there. It's kind of my last hurrah (haven't I said that before?  LOL).  I will also be looking for work in Zurich, Switzerland as well, via the internet.

On the evening of my cancelled party, I did invite some people to come hang out and have dinner, so Matthias, Katja, Daniel, Jürgen, Ludmila and I went out to a restaurant and had a good time.  The next night, I talked to Katja (I had to call her back) and we were literally almost right across the street from each other. So we hung out and had a great conversation.  She and I are able to really challenge each other and we were able to talk through some of our concerns and we always come out on the other side better friends. I'm grateful for such good friends!!

I have also had to do some very deep soul-searching this week.  Recently, I have had people approach me with some difficult questions and even some accusations.  I have dug very deep on these issues, gotten advice, have brought them before God, and have had conversations with people (and still need to have a few more).  I believe that for now, I feel good with the decisions I have made and I feel confident before God that I have made them faithfully and though I know I am not perfect, I have gotten advice on my situation and how I can proceed in my life.  I must say that I'm very surprised about being able to stay until January now, and, God willing, I will be able to make the best use of my time and I hope and pray that God will bless me with a job, wherever that might be.

For now, I'm very grateful for what I have.  In a spirit of openness, I have to say that I am sad that I can't be with my family for Christmas, that I am unable to buy presents for friends and family, but I hope that you all understand that I love you and I will do my best to express to you how much I love all of you. I am grateful for the impact you have on my life and heart.  My not being there, or your not receiving a gift or a card from me does not mean that I don't care, but simply that I am unable to this year.

I will keep everyone up on the latest from me in the next few days or week.  I do intend to share my thoughts on this past year with you as well, which I am very excited to do.  In the meantime, enjoy your holidays, but don't forget to include people that need someone to care for them this year.  I have been invited to some friends for Christmas, but please make sure to honor God by loving the unloved this time of year.  Please find someone that would be encouraged to just be included in your celebrations of the holidays.

Rom. 12:13 -- Share with the Lord's people who are in need.  Practice hospitality.

Take care for now and thank you for all your words of encouragement and support. I'm grateful for all of you who have shown me so much love.  Merry Christmas!!!




Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Munich and a Hurricane in Germany???

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to change your attitude.  I'm so grateful for the opportunity to go to Munich for 4 days this past weekend.  I really needed to get out of my funk in Berlin.  I figured that if I have to return to the states on Dec. 19 (not yet sure if I will have to or not), then I wanted to be able to visit Munich again since I lived there for a significant amount of time after high school.  I don't think I was prepared for what awaited me. But let me start from the beginning.

So the day before I left, someone told me that we were expecting a storm in Berlin.  A really big storm, someone said it was supposed to be a hurricane and I just couldn't believe it...  I've never heard of a hurricane in Germany, MUCH LESS in December!!!  I did a little research, and sure enough, it was a Category 1 storm (lowest) but still the satellite images were impressive.  Here in Berlin, we had very strong winds, like 50+ miles per hour (80+ kph), and even stronger gusts, up to 115kph (70mph) were expected! So I prepared myself because I had set up a ride through the "Mitfahrzentrale", which is a service that people traveling to other cities can catch a ride with others driving to the same place, and you help them with gas money.  Essentially you go on the main website, put in the town you're traveling from, then the town you're traveling to, and see if anyone has posted a ride.  Anyway, the guy kind of flaked on me the afternoon before I left, but I didn't find out until 9:30pm, so I was left scrambling at the last minute to find a ride.

I did find another person driving to Munich, but never heard back...  So I decided to catch the bus.  Buses here are a newer concept, not like in the states.  The buses are very comfy.  When I was in high school, we often traveled to track meets and other sporting events, usually hours away, in these buses.  So, I knew it would be just fine.  And it's also less expensive than taking the train or flying.  

So I packed up and headed out right into the storm.  I had to walk to the train station at Alexanderplatz, full-on into the wind, had to have been 50mph+ winds.  It was definitely a challenge!  I finally got to the bus station and by that time it had begun to snow very hard.  Add the winds to that, it was extremely cold and unpleasant!  Hurricane Xaver was no joke! For Germany, this was a big deal, but it was NOTHING like hurricanes in the states.  First off, we are about 150 miles inland from the Baltic Sea and even further from the North Sea, so whatever we got in Berlin was a shadow of what hit the coast.  I got to experience the outer bands of Hurricane Gloria in Virginia in Oct. 1985, but Gloria was much stronger.  Either way, it was exciting and snow began to accumulate on the ground a bit as we hit the Autobahn, heading out of town.

Coming into Munich

Anyway, the ride to Munich was about 7 hours long.  I rode a double-decker bus and had a seat in the second row in the upper deck.  It was really cool.  Most of Germany was in the grips of that and/or other storms that day.  No kidding, on the way to Munich, we experienced 6 snow storms, and between them, the sun popped out...  It was really weird that the weather changed so much in about a 400-mile drive.  Cool experience, though.



 When I got to Munich, I was met by a brother in the church there, Gerd.  He sent me a friend request on facebook a few months ago and since we had a bunch of mutual friends, I accepted it (which I don't typically do).  He picked me up and we dropped my stuff off at his place and we went out to a medieval Christmas market near Odeonsplatz.  It was really interesting, but frankly I liked the other markets a little bit better.

So we left there and went to another small market in the courtyard of the Residenz (palace) a few blocks away and then down to the big market on Marienplatz, the center of Munich.  I was in heaven! My last memory of Christmas markets was at this market in 1991.  I was riding my bike home late, maybe 11 or 12 at night and stopped on Marienplatz.  All of the vendors huts were closed, but the Christmas lights were still on, it was totally quiet and nobody around. You could still smell the candied nuts and spiced wine, and it had just begun to snow.  I think that memory will stay with me until the day I die. It was wonderful.








The new market there was much larger than it was before.  Still amazingly beautiful, the same sights and sounds and smells and the beauty that is Munich.  It's such a wonderful place any time of year, but at Christmas, it just can't be beat!  Then we walked all the way to Karlstor and rode the subway back.

On Saturday, I wanted to do a little bit of personal sightseeing.  I went to see where I lived in 1990-1992 and it was so great to be home.  It was still really cold and windy and figured I had better go grab a coffee to warm up and a bite to eat.  My camera was telling me that the memory was full so I needed to delete some pictures off the memory card as well.  I went to the street next to the one where I lived as I figured I would find coffee shop and sure enough, there was one.  As I looked in the window, it occurred to me, this was the bakery I used to visit to get my Käsestangen on the way to work 20+ years ago!  Even though it had changed a lot in 21 years, I was very excited it was still there!

I went to the grocery store in the neighborhood and then visited a farmers market on Mariahilfplatz.  I decided to call my former landlord and he still lived there and still had the same phone number since 1990!!  He wasn't able to meet on short notice, but we had a good talk.  Then I decided to go up to the old Army base where I lived for a couple years while I went to the college there.  Just before I left Munich in 1992, they had proposed extending one of the subway lines to the base, so it was really cool to step out of the subway station to right in front of the college!

It was amazing to be there at the base for the first time in so many years!  Unfortunately the excitement wore off a bit to see how certain buildings haven't been used in years and how they are beginning to deteriorate.  The university stands proudly on the corner, but empty, seemingly trying to maintain it's stature despite peeling paint and missing a letter in the name on it's side.  It's not quite the same to see the name of the school looking like a toothless grin, saying: "UNIVERSITY OF M  RYLAND". It really loses something without that "A".  As I took the walk I used to walk from the school back to the dorm, it became obvious to me that the Polizei had taken over a large part of the base as their own.  On the main road, the dorms seemed to be well cared-for and lived in, in stark contrast to what lie behind it.

When I first went to school, they had just opened the Student Union Building, a small, two-story building, now covered in vines and clearly unused in many years.  The rest of the walk to the other former dorm halls went about the same, obviously unused buildings, falling into disrepair.  How the strength and pride of the base has simply deflated, rusted and is now overgrown with weeds.

I am glad to report this was really the only negative experience I had during the nearly 4 days I roamed the city.  After I left the base, I went home to upload photos to my laptop, then left again to see some more!  I went to see the area where I worked. My employer had moved to a location nearby in a very beautiful old mansion right behind the Friedensengel (Angel of Peace) column.  They seem to be doing very well to say the least.

During the first 24 hours I was in Munich, there was cold temperatures and a very strong wind.  This made for a very cold time being outside the vast majority of the day.  As I went by my old office, I decided to go to the English Gardens, where they have a large beer garden during the warmer months, and as predicted, there was a large Christmas market there, too!  I got something warm to eat and continued on through this really beautiful park, stopping to check the view from Monopteros, which is a circular colonade atop a small hill, which has views of some of the higher steeples of the city and provides a view of the park as the foreground.  Caught it at just about sundown, so I got some nice pictures from there, then moved on to try to find the surfing area.  A couple years ago I heard about there being a place for people to surf on a part of a large stream that flows through the park.  It was pretty impressive, especially because there were still a bunch of people doing it in December!

That night, there was a singles and campus event at the church, so I met Gerd and we went over and helped set up for the Feuerzangenbowle and movie night.  We watched a movie of the same name and drank the drink which is similar to Glühwein. There was lots of good food, fellowship and darts and ping pong, too!  It was a lot of fun and got to meet a lot of new people there.  It was super encouraging...

In the morning, we were back at the church building for service.  Apparently the traditional Church of Christ and our congregation meet together.  The other really cool thing was, too, that one of my Berlin flatmates' grandfather has been a part of the traditional congregation for a long time and actually gave the communion message that morning.  I didn't meet him, because I didn't realize the connection until after I left Munich and got home.

After service, everyone sort of went their separate ways, which I was a little bit disappointed by, but you know me, I always find a way to keep busy. I'm always on the lookout for a new adventure.  So, I went back to Karlstor and walked down the Fußgängerzone (pedestrian shopping zone), through the market during the daylight (and sunshine!), through the "Tal", to the Hofbräuhaus, where I was able to sit down at a Starbucks and upload my pics to facebook and to warm up with a cup of coffee.  Took lots of pics in this part of town as it is the oldest part of the city and the buildings are hundreds of years old and very impressive.  Walked further down the "Tal" and past Isartor, to the Deutsches Museum, up past Gasteig and took some photos of the very beautiful public swimming and recreation center Müllersches Volksbad.  Google it, its incredible in there!  I also took some pictures at dusk from the bluff overlooking the river and looking out over the city a bit.  So amazing!

Then I started to head toward a meeting place for dinner with Gerd and another brother was supposed to join us as well, but ended up not coming.  Either way, we went to my favorite Greek restaurant in the world, Lucullus and had a great dinner, just like I remembered it.  Food is excellent there....

Monday was trying to get some stuff ready so that I could market myself to businesses, but unfortunately ran out of time and energy.  I think I had just done too much walking around the previous days and was just exhausted.  I did get some great shots of the Theatiner Church and Residenz, once again at dusk.  Beautiful!

So Gerd and I met up again that night after he got off work.  I had just arrived at the Theresienwiese or "Wies'n", which is where they hold Oktoberfest.  It wasn't nearly as big, but they had a great Christmas market there, too.  I stopped to get a Wurst at a little hut and they said it was all their own cattle and everything was organic.  They had a spicy red Wurst, which was amazing.  I put some sweet mustard on it and was absolutely in heaven. Definitely far and away the best bratwurst I have ever eaten.  It was incredible.  We walked around a bit and I needed to sit down, so we went in a tent and there was a band playing, so we grabbed a beer and just enjoyed ourselves.

We left there and headed home and I needed to try to figure out how I was going to get home the next day.  So I went onto the Mitfahrzentrale website again and found a ride from a very convenient location to... Alexanderplatz in Berlin!  I contacted him and by early the next morning, it was confirmed.  We met and had a great trip, just talked the whole way home, very nice and interesting guy.  Come to find out though, it wasn't good enough that he was driving to Alexanderplatz, but actually to the hotel right on the corner by my apartment!  He found street parking behind the hotel, and it was about 100 yards/meters to my door!  Couldn't have planned that one better if I tried!!!  Thanks, God!  The other cool thing about the driver, after I got out and was collecting my stuff, he said that if I ever make it back to Munich, that I should call him to grab a beer with him.  How cool is that?  I was super encouraged.

Got back in plenty of time to get some grocery shopping done and still get to an appointment in the early evening.  Tonight, my flatmates treated me to a holiday meal of baked duck, Semmelknödel (dumplings), Rotkraut (like Sauerkraut, but sweeter and with red cabbage), and I made an ambrosia salad, the best I could anyway.... The whole dinner was delicious.  Now, I am tired, so I am going to wrap this up for the night.

One last thing...  I am contemplating trying to spend some time in Munich to try to get some job interviews, my flight is booked to come home for Dec. 19, but I am trying to see if I can make it an open ticket so that I can make the best use of my time before I HAVE to come home, which would be Jan. 9.  I really want to make this work, even if it means finding a job in Munich.  The economy is way better there and my chances of finding something there seems to be much better there.  Please pray for God to show his will in this soon.  Until the next time.  I should be updating again in the next few days what my plans are.  Thanks!!!


Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Spoiled

I just wanted to take a moment to say how spoiled I feel. Last night we had a "Non-marrieds" get together at the home of my good friend, Katja.  Part of the activities was a chance to say something encouraging to other people on how they have impacted our lives.

One very special brother to me shared that if I had to go back to the states in a couple weeks (two weeks from today) that he would miss me more than anyone he has ever had to say good-bye to.  Almost brought me to tears.  Another brother shared that he felt he really bonded with me when I shared a photo I took of my family at a Single's Devotional. It was the last known picture taken of my uncle 11 days before he died. This brother was someone that I have not spent much time with, but was super encouraged by him (even though he is obsessed with 'knock knock' jokes, LOL).  Katja also shared about the intense and spiritual talks we have had, eating chickens, (but somehow forgot to mention me spewing beer and bread all over her. LOL) etc.  You know, it's amazing the experiences I have shared with these people in just such a short time.  I really feel so blessed to know, and feel loved by, these incredible people.

Tonight, we had our Men's Worship Night and afterward, I was so encouraged to see someone get baptized, who had just moved with his family to Berlin from Milan, Italy.  Tomorrow I get to spend time with Christoph and Sauerkraut (see my last post, lol) and on Friday (God willing), I will hopefully be driving to my former home of 4 years, Munich, to meet the people from the church there and see my old stomping grounds.  Please pray for a safe and successful trip, and for God to bless me with a job either here or there.

Now, it's time for bed, my heart is full and I couldn't be more content with how God has blessed my life.  A job would be nice, too, but for now, I'll just enjoy basking in the warmth of my God and the rich life I have. Who needs money when you have friends?

I'm going to close with a quote from one of my all-time favorite movies (and it's a Christmas movie), It's A Wonderful Life:  "No man is a failure who has friends." - Clarence the Angel

Good night all.  Much love from Berlin!


Monday, December 2, 2013

Dreams Fulfilled, Struggles and Christmas Markets!

For the last week or so, I have really experienced the full range of emotions.  I have done things that I waited 27 years to be able to do, and yet have still struggled with what I would characterize as severe discouragement, bordering on depression.

On Thursday, I woke up and just felt really down.  Not feeling great, but also not sick.  It was Thanksgiving and I had received an invite to join Mindy and her husband for Thanksgiving dinner, but because of the timing of my appointments, was unable to attend. So I just sort of moped around and didn't feel like doing anything.  I just played computer games and generally did nothing for most of the day.  It didn't help that I didn't really leave the apartment until the afternoon when I had the appointments.  I don't think Thanksgiving was the only reason I was down, but I think it did play a role....

After my appointments, I called my good friend Jürgen (I call him "Sauerkraut", LOL), and he was just getting off work.  So we met and went to grab some food and I was just open with him about my struggles, how I was feeling down and discouraged.  He was very encouraging and, as usual in my times with Jürgen, we laughed and had deep talks and enjoyed ourselves.  At the end, we took some time to pray, not just a short, superficial prayer, but a longer, deep prayer, where we share our struggles with God and pray for each other's needs. It was really good.

As I mentioned last week, Monday was my personal deadline for finding a job.  God didn't answer in the way I had wanted, so as I recall, my thought was that if I didn't have a job by Nov. 25, that I would start making plans to head back to the U.S. and start looking for work elsewhere. (Although I actually have not closed the door on opportunities in Berlin...)  So, it was after a few days that deadline passed that the "funk" hit me hard, which is normal for me after a big disappointment.

I have also decided that if I do end up returning to the states on Dec. 19, that it might be in order for me to try to enjoy my time here, while I continue to look for work.  In that vein, on Monday last week, the weather was beautiful.  It was sunny but cold, and the skies were nearly cloudless as I got up in the morning. Since I first came to Berlin in 1986, I always wanted to go up into the TV tower at Alexanderplatz, but didn't want to bother if the weather wasn't going to be nice.  So this was my chance!  I bought my ticket and away I went, up the shaft of the tower!!  I was so excited!  Back in 1986, I don't know what the tower was actually used for, but I'm relatively certain that you couldn't just go up in it and look around like you can today.  Either way, I was excited for the opportunity and the views were breathtaking! Even in the Tiergarten (park), it still looked like the trees were changing colors! I could see my apartment from there, the Brandenburg Gate and many other amazing things from 203 meters/667 feet above the ground. The tower is over 100 feet taller than the Space Needle in Seattle.



A few years back, I was also going through a rough patch.  I was discouraged because I hated my job that didn't pay much and life was just generally challenging.  During that time I had "Sehnsucht", a very intense longing, for Germany.  I would dream about Germany at night and daydream too. I decided at that time that I wanted to visit Germany, somehow, some way, but just didn't know how I was going to be able to afford it.  I definitely couldn't at the time.  The thing that was foremost on my "to do" list if I returned to Germany, was to visit a genuine German Christmas market.

On the same day I went up in the TV tower, I was able to visit my first Christmas market since 1991!!  It was so amazing!  I went to the market on Alexanderplatz (are you sick of hearing that name yet? LOL) and had a chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that bring back those incredible memories of the Christkindlmarkt in Munich from my youth.  I went back in the evening and it was even more enchanting in the dark with the lights of the huts lit up.  The sounds of Christmas music, the smell of candied nuts and Glühwein....  magical! One of the food huts they had there offered a pork goulash soup that was simply heaven in a bowl.  (At 6 Euros a bowl, it had better be! LOL) I also tried the candied almonds (gebrannte Mandeln) and the dark chocolate-covered strawberries.  Need any more reasons why I missed the Christmas markets in Germany?

One of the other ideas I had to enjoy the rest of my time here, was to take a short trip back to Munich.  I lived there for 4 years from 1988 to 1992, and have tons of very special memories of another beautiful German city.  I want to go to meet some of the people from the church there and to put my information out there to employers as well.  But after last week, I think the best thing about going there is to get my mind out of it's funk and be able to see another place that has played such a HUGE part in shaping who I am as a person.  This is the city where I went to college, owned my first car, had my first real jobs, had my first taste of freedom as an adult, my first relationships, etc, etc, etc. Munich is a very beautiful city and on a clear day, you can see the Alps from there!  It also has a very rich history (but not quite to the extent of Berlin, sorry) and the people are very friendly there.  For a very large metropolis of nearly 1.4 million, it's a very conservative city, which is very unusual. Most large cities tend to be more liberal. Munich seems like a small town in a lot of ways, but is clearly a major European city. I'm very excited to visit and see some old friends there, as well as meet some new ones as well.
TV tower, World Clock from Christmas Market

I've also been reading a book lately by David Bercot (one of my favorite spiritual writers) called "Let Me Die in Ireland", which is the story of "Saint" Patrick. The book was given to me by a brother in the church here in Berlin and it has challenged my heart and my thinking and has encouraged me more than I could have ever imagined. It is the true story of Patrick's life and how he had to struggle to overcome to become God's chosen person to help the Irish people become Christians (even though he was British). It's a very challenging and inspiring book.  Another book from Bercot's, "Will the Real Heretics Please Stand Up" is a must-read for all modern Christians. Seriously, pick up a copy of this book, it is challenging and gives perspective on our modern lives and what the first, second, and third-century Christians believed.

Will also share some pictures on here of the Christmas market on Gendarmentmarkt that I visited on Saturday and the Opernplatz Christmas market that I visited with Olli yesterday.  On that note, I am going to sign off here and get some stuff done.  Have a great week everyone!

Alexanderplatz Christmas Market
Christmas decorations

Christmas decorations
How do you like THEM apples?

"Alex" Christmas Market