"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
Wow, where do I even start tonight? I still can't fathom the importance of today...
I think I'm going to start with a thought I had a couple of days ago that completely and UTTERLY blew my mind. So the leader of the Berlin team encouraged me to head out to Berlin on Sunday, but I had made plans already to hang out with the brothers' household in Amsterdam that Sunday night (which was so much fun, by the way!) He said that it was okay to leave Monday then.
But as I booked the train tickets, the date got stuck in my head a bit: October 3rd.... Yes, I know it's the Day of German Reunification, but it was also the date that I left Germany back in 1992. Yes, EXACTLY 30 years to the day after I left Germany, I moved back!!! And I don't believe this to be a coincidence either. And I swear I didn't plan it this way either! A "memory" on my Facebook page confirmed this date as well 10 years ago as I had confirmed the date I left Germany then as well!
So now I'm back! And I have to be honest, I'm just absolutely on cloud nine. Before I left Amsterdam yesterday, I was just in tears. It felt more like I was crying because I missed my mom (and my dad, too...) but today I was crying tears of just joy for such a humbling honor to return to the place on this earth that I love so much.
And I want to apologize to anyone who sees me posting about my travels this summer. I promise I'm not trying to boast or brag, I'm just so blown away by what God has allowed me to experience these last three and a half months. These times are the product of a LOT of pain, loss, prayers and hopes and dreams of the last 30 years of my life and the scripture at the top of this entry fits it perfectly.
I definitely feel like I'm home. But in all honesty, I nearly lost it all two weeks ago. Bad choices almost put me in a very bad place. But I was as humble as I could be about it, but more importantly an incredible amount of love, forgiveness and mercy was shown to me so I didn't have to lose it all.
I don't deserve to be here. At the same time, I know God has seen everything I have been through, including being present during the time both my dad and my mom were on their death beds. I've had to endure so much, and I'm just grateful that God has allowed me to be here right now. I seriously feel like the most blessed guy in the whole world.
Before I left Seattle, and also my first week in Amsterdam, I shared my testimony for communion. I talked about my incredible LACK of faithfulness. Yes, I've been a disciple for almost 30 years, BUT in that time, I have fallen away SEVEN times. Nearly eight... But the fact that I had left God seven times was just devastating to me. So I'm not saying "Look how awesome I am". Just the opposite! What a wretched wicked person I can be! I'm (to some extent) the perfect example of what NOT to be!
But then I come back to God's mercy! Wow, I am so totally undeserving! Thank you, God for not treating me as I truly deserve and for blessing my prayers even when my heart was starting to wander again.
So if you'll indulge me, I'd like to share my last 24 hours or so.
I left about 7pm for Amsterdam's Centraal Station (yes, it's spelled correctly😀) for my 8:30 pm departure. We stopped in Utrecht and Arnhem before crossing the border about 10:20 p.m. on October 3, 2022.
I had to change trains in Duisburg, a city I had visited in 1991 briefly for a weekend with a co-worker. It felt so good to be back in Germany!!! But there was some confusion with the train and almost missed it because the boards took our train off the itinerary as it was very late getting to Duisburg. When it showed up, the board said it was a different train to Dortmund! Thankfully we realized what was happening before it was too late!
But the DB (German railway) required masks on the train. Thankfully I kept some in my backpack. I haven't worn one of those in a while! And while the train was about 40 minutes late, we only arrived about 19 minutes later than scheduled to the Berlin Hauptbahnhof! I arrived at 5:58 a.m. today, October 4th!
So I found my way to the hotel, it was kind of far out in Marzahn, I'm writing this post from there, but wasn't able to check in until 11. So I went to Alexanderplatz, grabbed some breakfast and a coffee and just enjoyed being home again! I checked in at 11, and since I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep on the train, I took about a 3.5 hour nap. It was glorious! And badly needed!
Then I went to look at an apartment and I told the guy that I was in finance and that I had come to Berlin as a missionary, he asked for my CV to give to his company to see if they could use someone like me in their company. It seemed legit, so I sent it to him.
Then I went back to Alexanderplatz (nearby) and did some shopping, and then went to Mr. Gyros for my favorite food in all of Berlin! It was still good, but I think maybe the ownership has changed because it wasn't quite as good as I remember it. Still a very solid Gyro though. I actually had two of them, because I was seriously craving them and one just wasn't enough to satisfy my hunger after traveling and eating train station food, LOL.
Then I took the train back to the hotel and here I am... Man, what a day. I'm still just so blown away by what God is allowing to happen in my life. I want to implore you, whatever your dream is, especially your Kingdom dream, don't ever give up on it! Things may seem impossible to you, but they're not. I've had to fight through so incredibly much to get to this point (and there are still a lot of battles to be fought), but the battle is God's, and we are just here to swing our swords!
So please be praying for me to get a job where the company can sponsor me so that I can get a work permit and a residence permit. And pray for us to get a great apartment for the single brothers. Thanks!
But that's it for tonight. FROM BERLIN! I'm so grateful to God for this opportunity. Please pray for me to be faithful in everything for HIS glory! I love you guys and than you again to my heavenly dad for taking such great care of me, meeting my needs, and today... blessing my dreams! I love you!
(Due to internet issues at my hotel and the very late hour I completed this, I am uploading this entry the day after writing it...)
