After a couple of days, not a single person responded to my idea. Not even one. There was no good input, nobody encouraging me or even telling me I'm crazy. No thoughts on maybe making it a shorter term or any other suggestions, just complete and utter silence.
I'm not sure what to think of that. Frankly, I'm completely shocked no one wanted to give it a try. It may be a week or two out, but I am going to do it! I am a firm believer that our relationships are the most important things to God and I am going to go after them!
Friday, August 22, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
What Do You Think? Social Experiment in Seattle
So, I had this idea, and I wanted to get your input on it. I'm thinking of doing a social experiment with my friends in Seattle. Here's the premise: One week electronics and social media fast, but with a twist. I am thinking about avoiding social media, TV, movies, etc., but to replace those "down time" activities with quality time with other people.
If we all tried to do it at the same time, it would give us the best opportunity to hang out with each other. We would shun social media and the internet in general, no TV or movies, but would be a week for relationships: with your family, spouse and kids, friends, co-workers, neighbors, building your relationship with God (prayer, reading, fasting, serving), etc. Obviously, if use do internet or social media for your job, it would be a matter of just refraining from them in your free time. Texting would be okay but limited to your plans with people, normal family business, etc.
The goal is to clear our schedules to have time for each other, to spend time getting to know people better that you already know, and to make new friends as well. I think it would even be great for married couples to have some special time together as well, or for a mom or a dad to have special one-on-one time with their kids. One requirement, however, would be to get time with one new person that you don't know well or at all (safely). The goal would be to have at least a few of these during the week.
One other thought.... I think it's super encouraging to make dinner for others, BUT, my challenge is to use the time to get to know each other better, not be super busy making a meal. I would suggest getting coffee or go out for a walk, go out for food, or an activity that is conducive to being focused on the relationship.
So, seriously, I would like your input, especially for my friends in Seattle.... Let me know on facebook or by email, or text me, or write a comment on this post what you think. I would like to do it in a few weeks, maybe mid-September when people should be somewhat settled back into the fall school schedules AND it would give us time to set up those appointments by scheduling it a few weeks out. I think it would be fun, how about you?
If we all tried to do it at the same time, it would give us the best opportunity to hang out with each other. We would shun social media and the internet in general, no TV or movies, but would be a week for relationships: with your family, spouse and kids, friends, co-workers, neighbors, building your relationship with God (prayer, reading, fasting, serving), etc. Obviously, if use do internet or social media for your job, it would be a matter of just refraining from them in your free time. Texting would be okay but limited to your plans with people, normal family business, etc.
The goal is to clear our schedules to have time for each other, to spend time getting to know people better that you already know, and to make new friends as well. I think it would even be great for married couples to have some special time together as well, or for a mom or a dad to have special one-on-one time with their kids. One requirement, however, would be to get time with one new person that you don't know well or at all (safely). The goal would be to have at least a few of these during the week.
One other thought.... I think it's super encouraging to make dinner for others, BUT, my challenge is to use the time to get to know each other better, not be super busy making a meal. I would suggest getting coffee or go out for a walk, go out for food, or an activity that is conducive to being focused on the relationship.
So, seriously, I would like your input, especially for my friends in Seattle.... Let me know on facebook or by email, or text me, or write a comment on this post what you think. I would like to do it in a few weeks, maybe mid-September when people should be somewhat settled back into the fall school schedules AND it would give us time to set up those appointments by scheduling it a few weeks out. I think it would be fun, how about you?
Trials... but Finally, Peace!
I'm feeling a bit melancholy tonight, but pensive. There is a whole lot of Berlin in my head tonight. Honestly, it might just be that I'm exhausted after working 8 days straight, but when I get like this, I love to write, just put my thoughts into words and put them on (digital) paper. :)
This has been a very significant week for me. As you know if you read this blog, that I've struggled quite a bit in the past 7 months (I'm not going to even address that I've been back in Seattle for that long right now). I feel like God has helped me get past the majority of my challenges, but there are still several significant hurdles still to overcome. Deep breath....
So, a week ago, I sort of hit my point where I just couldn't take any more. I shared that previous Saturday with my purity group that I was finally starting to feel hopeful with my job. My one colleague had just returned from nearly two months leave, they hired a supervisor, and they had just hired a new person who was to start sometime last week. I thought to myself, "that's FOUR people in my department!" I was very encouraged!
Unfortunately, I had no idea how short lived this would would be.
That same Saturday afternoon, just hours after I shared my hopefulness, my co-worker informed me that she quit and two days later, she would be starting her new job! She had been back for FIVE days! Of course she shared that at the beginning of my shift, and for the rest of the day, I was just emotionally numb. I had the next two days off to process it all. Then, when I returned to work the next Tuesday (a week ago), I was talking to my new manager, who I really like, and he confirmed that the new hire had also decided to take another job and wouldn't be coming in.
I was devastated and angry. I asked him about the raise that we had been discussing over the past month or two and he said he just couldn't get management to budge. Now I was pissed. I looked him straight in the eye and told him, "I will also be looking for another job." He said he understood.
He left my office and about an hour later, I decided to go in and chat with the general manager of the hotel. I went to her office and she wasn't there. As I was walking back to my office, I noticed the general manager, the HR manager and my manager were all in the HR manager's office and they motioned for me to come in. I sat down there and they finally admitted that the wage I have been earning is "on the low end" of the market. They offered me $1.50 per hour more, but I also asked for retroactive pay, especially because I have run that department alone for over 4 months while I trained. I told them they have clearly saved a ton of money on salaries....
They nixed the retroactive pay, but they did give me an additional 50 cents per hour. My manager stood up for me again!!!! This guy is great!
I still am going to be seeking a new job, however. They told me when I got the job that I would try to give me Sundays off and once again, they have reneged on another promise.
So, I tell this story not only because I'm excited about a raise, but that I'm tired. I'm tired of having to fight and fight and still not feel like the work I do is really appreciated. I finally stopped getting angry, I stopped feeling frustrated, I just felt peace and determined that I just need to get out of a really toxic situation. I really love the people I work with, they've been super supportive and encouraging to me personally. But, either way, I don't know how to underscore how important it has been for me to have peace again, it has changed my perspective and I'm getting happy again!
The stress of this job is really making me into someone that I don't like. I don't like being angry, frustrated, sad and feeling so low all the time. So, I'm excited to start looking for work again, and to hopefully find something back in the insurance field. The economy is pretty good here in Seattle, so I'm hopeful that I can find something.
God has definitely allowed me to be pushed me to my limits. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is unpleasant. My heart is still sold out for God, despite a lot of struggling the past few months and really struggling to pray, read my Bible, etc. I have been having great daily prayers, especially for Berlin and my good friend Christoph there. I got an email from him a few days back , absolutely made my day. Man, I miss that brother so much. There are few people in this world that know my heart better than he does.
Also, Scott Green has been here in Seattle for the past six weeks and I was hoping to get some time with him before he returned to Berlin yesterday. I was grateful for about 10 minutes with him before church Sunday before I had to head out to work. I was encouraged even though we didn't get time to get into depth, but it was good nonetheless. I have to be completely honest, I'm a bit envious that he's back there now.... So I continue to pray.
Something also happened on the day I got the raise, the email from Christoph and some time with another brother here. There was a guy I went to high school with that got an extra copy of the yearbook from my senior year of high school. When I left Berlin in 1993, I had to put about 12 boxes in storage with my landlady. Apparently sometime in the next two years, all my boxes with my photo albums, souvenirs from my travels all over Europe, and everything else, was stolen. No yearbooks, no photos, only what I was able to bring home in two suitcases and a carry-on bag, which obviously wasn't much...
Anyway, this classmate was offering to give it away, and had a taker shortly before I saw the facebook post. The girl who had responded before me read my comment that all my yearbooks from high school had been stolen, and she very generously told the other classmate that she wanted me to have it. After such a great day, this brought me to tears. No, actually I wept. Before I moved to Berlin last year, I prayed that I would be able to somehow locate some of these items that were stolen while I was there. So even though it was not actually MY yearbook, it was THE yearbook from my senior year and I absolutely believe it was an answered prayer, thank you God!!!
Of course, I took time and looked through the whole thing the first night. Wow, what memories it brought back. I hadn't seen this yearbook since 1992. What a gift!!! I'm very humbled to have a copy of it again!
As I look at my life right now, I do wonder how I got here. Listening to "Safe and Sound" from the band Capital Cities on Spreeradio, thinking of Scott and Lynne in Berlin, getting ready to Skype with Katja tomorrow morning, my heart is definitely in Berlin right now. I miss it so much, I can't wait for the day when I can come back to see this amazing city and to fall into its loving arms again, this time hopefully permanently! Please let it be so, God!
I still have a lot to overcome, but I'm doing well. I can say that confidently for the first time in months. Please pray for me to get a job in the insurance field. I have lots of bills to catch up on and my car needs some work, too. Either way, I am grateful that you decided to take the time to read up on what's up with Tim. Have a great week!
This has been a very significant week for me. As you know if you read this blog, that I've struggled quite a bit in the past 7 months (I'm not going to even address that I've been back in Seattle for that long right now). I feel like God has helped me get past the majority of my challenges, but there are still several significant hurdles still to overcome. Deep breath....
So, a week ago, I sort of hit my point where I just couldn't take any more. I shared that previous Saturday with my purity group that I was finally starting to feel hopeful with my job. My one colleague had just returned from nearly two months leave, they hired a supervisor, and they had just hired a new person who was to start sometime last week. I thought to myself, "that's FOUR people in my department!" I was very encouraged!
Unfortunately, I had no idea how short lived this would would be.
That same Saturday afternoon, just hours after I shared my hopefulness, my co-worker informed me that she quit and two days later, she would be starting her new job! She had been back for FIVE days! Of course she shared that at the beginning of my shift, and for the rest of the day, I was just emotionally numb. I had the next two days off to process it all. Then, when I returned to work the next Tuesday (a week ago), I was talking to my new manager, who I really like, and he confirmed that the new hire had also decided to take another job and wouldn't be coming in.
I was devastated and angry. I asked him about the raise that we had been discussing over the past month or two and he said he just couldn't get management to budge. Now I was pissed. I looked him straight in the eye and told him, "I will also be looking for another job." He said he understood.
He left my office and about an hour later, I decided to go in and chat with the general manager of the hotel. I went to her office and she wasn't there. As I was walking back to my office, I noticed the general manager, the HR manager and my manager were all in the HR manager's office and they motioned for me to come in. I sat down there and they finally admitted that the wage I have been earning is "on the low end" of the market. They offered me $1.50 per hour more, but I also asked for retroactive pay, especially because I have run that department alone for over 4 months while I trained. I told them they have clearly saved a ton of money on salaries....
They nixed the retroactive pay, but they did give me an additional 50 cents per hour. My manager stood up for me again!!!! This guy is great!
I still am going to be seeking a new job, however. They told me when I got the job that I would try to give me Sundays off and once again, they have reneged on another promise.
So, I tell this story not only because I'm excited about a raise, but that I'm tired. I'm tired of having to fight and fight and still not feel like the work I do is really appreciated. I finally stopped getting angry, I stopped feeling frustrated, I just felt peace and determined that I just need to get out of a really toxic situation. I really love the people I work with, they've been super supportive and encouraging to me personally. But, either way, I don't know how to underscore how important it has been for me to have peace again, it has changed my perspective and I'm getting happy again!
The stress of this job is really making me into someone that I don't like. I don't like being angry, frustrated, sad and feeling so low all the time. So, I'm excited to start looking for work again, and to hopefully find something back in the insurance field. The economy is pretty good here in Seattle, so I'm hopeful that I can find something.
God has definitely allowed me to be pushed me to my limits. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is unpleasant. My heart is still sold out for God, despite a lot of struggling the past few months and really struggling to pray, read my Bible, etc. I have been having great daily prayers, especially for Berlin and my good friend Christoph there. I got an email from him a few days back , absolutely made my day. Man, I miss that brother so much. There are few people in this world that know my heart better than he does.
Also, Scott Green has been here in Seattle for the past six weeks and I was hoping to get some time with him before he returned to Berlin yesterday. I was grateful for about 10 minutes with him before church Sunday before I had to head out to work. I was encouraged even though we didn't get time to get into depth, but it was good nonetheless. I have to be completely honest, I'm a bit envious that he's back there now.... So I continue to pray.
Something also happened on the day I got the raise, the email from Christoph and some time with another brother here. There was a guy I went to high school with that got an extra copy of the yearbook from my senior year of high school. When I left Berlin in 1993, I had to put about 12 boxes in storage with my landlady. Apparently sometime in the next two years, all my boxes with my photo albums, souvenirs from my travels all over Europe, and everything else, was stolen. No yearbooks, no photos, only what I was able to bring home in two suitcases and a carry-on bag, which obviously wasn't much...
Anyway, this classmate was offering to give it away, and had a taker shortly before I saw the facebook post. The girl who had responded before me read my comment that all my yearbooks from high school had been stolen, and she very generously told the other classmate that she wanted me to have it. After such a great day, this brought me to tears. No, actually I wept. Before I moved to Berlin last year, I prayed that I would be able to somehow locate some of these items that were stolen while I was there. So even though it was not actually MY yearbook, it was THE yearbook from my senior year and I absolutely believe it was an answered prayer, thank you God!!!
Of course, I took time and looked through the whole thing the first night. Wow, what memories it brought back. I hadn't seen this yearbook since 1992. What a gift!!! I'm very humbled to have a copy of it again!
As I look at my life right now, I do wonder how I got here. Listening to "Safe and Sound" from the band Capital Cities on Spreeradio, thinking of Scott and Lynne in Berlin, getting ready to Skype with Katja tomorrow morning, my heart is definitely in Berlin right now. I miss it so much, I can't wait for the day when I can come back to see this amazing city and to fall into its loving arms again, this time hopefully permanently! Please let it be so, God!
I still have a lot to overcome, but I'm doing well. I can say that confidently for the first time in months. Please pray for me to get a job in the insurance field. I have lots of bills to catch up on and my car needs some work, too. Either way, I am grateful that you decided to take the time to read up on what's up with Tim. Have a great week!
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Groundhog Day
I know it's not Feb. 2nd, I'm actually referring to the movie. You know the one, where Bill Murray re-lives the same day over and over (ad nauseum), trying everything in his power to jump start whatever he needs to, in order to end the repetition and finally move on to Feb. 3rd.
Well, I feel like I'm having a similar experience. Not long after arriving at work today, my coworker informs me that tomorrow is her last day. I'm happy for her, that she found a new, better-paying job, but now we're almost back to where we started before. Ugh. I'm so exasperated by this job, I feel so done. I don't sincerely know how much more of this I can stand.
I am grateful for the job and I actually really like it, but it's severely underpaid for it's impact on customer satisfaction at the hotel. The reason people are leaving is because people can't live on that wage. Unfortunately I'm also in that boat.
I guess I will have to start looking for another job as well. With the crazy and inconsistent hours (although I do regularly work 40 hours per week), I miss a lot of things. I'm really trying to be grateful, and most days the job is just fine, but I'm just tired.
The reason I thought of Groundhog Day was that Bill Murray's character was kind of screw-up and finally began to realize he needs to change. Once he started to make those changes (and did things "right") that is when the day finally advanced. I think God is having me in this situation so that I will fall to my knees more often, instead of just gritting my teeth and powering through. I clearly haven't learned my lesson yet. At least that's what I hope the lesson is here.
I wonder if my being able to return to Germany is somehow tied to my making these changes. I don't think anyone knows for sure, except God himself, but I sure am having to go through the same stuff, and my reaction has been the same every time these challenges come up, so I think I need to give it a shot.... Seeing as how this is my dream and I'm willing to do anything to make that dream come true, it's certainly worth that shot!
This feels like hard work. Maybe it's not and I'm just over-thinking it. I'll need to sleep on it. Either way, I'm tired because it's very late and I have to be at church early in the morning. Night all!
Well, I feel like I'm having a similar experience. Not long after arriving at work today, my coworker informs me that tomorrow is her last day. I'm happy for her, that she found a new, better-paying job, but now we're almost back to where we started before. Ugh. I'm so exasperated by this job, I feel so done. I don't sincerely know how much more of this I can stand.
I am grateful for the job and I actually really like it, but it's severely underpaid for it's impact on customer satisfaction at the hotel. The reason people are leaving is because people can't live on that wage. Unfortunately I'm also in that boat.
I guess I will have to start looking for another job as well. With the crazy and inconsistent hours (although I do regularly work 40 hours per week), I miss a lot of things. I'm really trying to be grateful, and most days the job is just fine, but I'm just tired.
The reason I thought of Groundhog Day was that Bill Murray's character was kind of screw-up and finally began to realize he needs to change. Once he started to make those changes (and did things "right") that is when the day finally advanced. I think God is having me in this situation so that I will fall to my knees more often, instead of just gritting my teeth and powering through. I clearly haven't learned my lesson yet. At least that's what I hope the lesson is here.
I wonder if my being able to return to Germany is somehow tied to my making these changes. I don't think anyone knows for sure, except God himself, but I sure am having to go through the same stuff, and my reaction has been the same every time these challenges come up, so I think I need to give it a shot.... Seeing as how this is my dream and I'm willing to do anything to make that dream come true, it's certainly worth that shot!
This feels like hard work. Maybe it's not and I'm just over-thinking it. I'll need to sleep on it. Either way, I'm tired because it's very late and I have to be at church early in the morning. Night all!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
About the Friendships....
I'm not sure if I mentioned this in my previous posts, but when that brother was here from another church, he was surprised by how many people I knew at the conference. He asked me why I was having such a hard time making friendships here in Seattle when I know so many people. What occurred to me was something that was preached that very morning in the men's service. It's not about friendships (acquaintances?), it's about brotherhood.
There was a Ted Talk by a guy named Sebastian Junger (I don't know who this is, but maybe you do) and he said that the reason that veterans miss the war is not because it's exciting, in fact, it's just the opposite. They remember the camaraderie, that they had to be like family to protect each other and they had to become like brothers. Mr. Junger talks about one traumatized veteran in the video who tells someone that he misses just about everything about war. Mr. Junger says the guys not a psychopath, but says "I think that what he missed is brotherhood... connection to the other men he was with." (Link to this Ted Talk at the bottom.)
Since becoming a Christian in 1993, I have felt that camaraderie, but since I just moved back, and with the intensity of my situation, I have simply not had the energy to put as much effort into relationships as I would have liked. I don't honestly know if that's just all my fault, or if there should be any expectation for others to give a crap about me or others. It might be both, but I don't really know...
So, something happened last night that really shows why I feel this way. A brother came to me and very sincerely asked me how I was doing. I am really trying not complain, nobody likes a Debbie Downer, but I was honest and just trying to be open. I said that I felt challenged by my current job and health situations and described a bit of how it's been affecting me. But at the end of about a 5 minute conversation it was very obvious that he was ready to get away.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. Maybe it was just too much for him to deal with. What is it with people? Why can't they deal with others challenges? I wasn't asking him to fix it, I was just trying to be open. This makes me really sad. This world needs help and I'm concerned that Christians can't even listen to someone who is struggling. There is something terribly wrong here.
Last week I had a discussion with another brother who was very quick to tell me everything I was doing wrong. Not that he was incorrect, but this is someone I consider a friend. There was no "Hey, I'm concerned about you. What's going on?" It was just "You need to....". Where is the compassion? Where is the desire to figure out what the disease is, not just deal with the symptoms? We're never going to make an impact in people's lives that way.
I felt like despite the fact that the past few months have been extremely challenging for me, I was made to feel like the bad guy. And you know, that's just not okay. Jesus had compassion on people because they were overwhelmed. At the end of the conversation, we both agreed that we had areas in which we need to grow and I'm sure we'll need to have additional conversations, but this is the kind of thing that I have been dealing with.
I don't typically shy away from having those "hard talks", but lately it has been significantly more difficult for me. But I have been noticing something in reading the Bible lately. I was reading in Jonah and I realized that when God spoke to Jonah, he asked him a lot of questions. Even when Jonah was just totally rebellious and even in sin, God didn't rebuke him, he just asked him questions to help him to see that God's way is better.
I think I might study this out a bit, just read more scripture (especially in the Old Testament where God speaks literally a bit more), to see if this is a pattern. I strongly suspect it is.
So I do have some good news in the area of friendships. In the past couple weeks, I have gotten a chance to spend time with a number of people; some that I knew from Spokane and some new friends here. I've had some great conversations (and one poor brother that did have to hear some more negative stuff. Sorry about that, bro.) Either way, I feel like I have found some people that I can really be encouraged to be friends with (and I will continue to pursue those other friendships as well.)
So, two weeks ago at our men's midweek service, Jay had us get into random groups and discuss 1 Thessalonians 3, and the charge was to find out what we can pray for each other about. Now, I have to be honest, I really didn't follow through praying for the others in my group (just didn't feel like I had the ability to add another thing on right now. Sorry). But I do know that others had been praying for me specifically for relationships in Seattle. I definitely feel like this is an answer to all those prayers, but continued prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated!
If you would like to watch that Ted Talk, here it is. It's about 13 minutes long, but well worth it. At the conference, they started the video at about the 8 minute mark, and that is where the great quotes began.
http://www.ted.com/talks/sebastian_junger_why_veterans_miss_war
Here are a couple more quotes from the Ted Talk that I find especially inspirational: "Friendship happens in society" where it really doesn't matter how you feel about other people. "Brotherhood has nothing to do with how you feel about the other person. It's a mutual agreement... where you put the welfare and safety of the group above your own. In effect, you're saying 'I love these other people more than I love myself.'"
Even though we are not at war, we are fighting a battle for our own souls. Every day, we have to decide to do the right thing or not. Sometimes we do the right thing, but nobody ever does it perfectly every time. I feel most days, especially recently, that I mess up more than most. Either way, I know I need God. He's made that abundantly clear to me in the past few months. I need you, and you need me if we call ourselves Christians.
So let's work together to build one another up, let's give each other the benefit of the doubt and then take steps to work harder together to help each other get to heaven. Colossians 1:28-29 - We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me."
So I think that's it for today, thanks for listening to me rant. Have a great day!
There was a Ted Talk by a guy named Sebastian Junger (I don't know who this is, but maybe you do) and he said that the reason that veterans miss the war is not because it's exciting, in fact, it's just the opposite. They remember the camaraderie, that they had to be like family to protect each other and they had to become like brothers. Mr. Junger talks about one traumatized veteran in the video who tells someone that he misses just about everything about war. Mr. Junger says the guys not a psychopath, but says "I think that what he missed is brotherhood... connection to the other men he was with." (Link to this Ted Talk at the bottom.)
Since becoming a Christian in 1993, I have felt that camaraderie, but since I just moved back, and with the intensity of my situation, I have simply not had the energy to put as much effort into relationships as I would have liked. I don't honestly know if that's just all my fault, or if there should be any expectation for others to give a crap about me or others. It might be both, but I don't really know...
So, something happened last night that really shows why I feel this way. A brother came to me and very sincerely asked me how I was doing. I am really trying not complain, nobody likes a Debbie Downer, but I was honest and just trying to be open. I said that I felt challenged by my current job and health situations and described a bit of how it's been affecting me. But at the end of about a 5 minute conversation it was very obvious that he was ready to get away.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. Maybe it was just too much for him to deal with. What is it with people? Why can't they deal with others challenges? I wasn't asking him to fix it, I was just trying to be open. This makes me really sad. This world needs help and I'm concerned that Christians can't even listen to someone who is struggling. There is something terribly wrong here.
Last week I had a discussion with another brother who was very quick to tell me everything I was doing wrong. Not that he was incorrect, but this is someone I consider a friend. There was no "Hey, I'm concerned about you. What's going on?" It was just "You need to....". Where is the compassion? Where is the desire to figure out what the disease is, not just deal with the symptoms? We're never going to make an impact in people's lives that way.
I felt like despite the fact that the past few months have been extremely challenging for me, I was made to feel like the bad guy. And you know, that's just not okay. Jesus had compassion on people because they were overwhelmed. At the end of the conversation, we both agreed that we had areas in which we need to grow and I'm sure we'll need to have additional conversations, but this is the kind of thing that I have been dealing with.
I don't typically shy away from having those "hard talks", but lately it has been significantly more difficult for me. But I have been noticing something in reading the Bible lately. I was reading in Jonah and I realized that when God spoke to Jonah, he asked him a lot of questions. Even when Jonah was just totally rebellious and even in sin, God didn't rebuke him, he just asked him questions to help him to see that God's way is better.
I think I might study this out a bit, just read more scripture (especially in the Old Testament where God speaks literally a bit more), to see if this is a pattern. I strongly suspect it is.
So I do have some good news in the area of friendships. In the past couple weeks, I have gotten a chance to spend time with a number of people; some that I knew from Spokane and some new friends here. I've had some great conversations (and one poor brother that did have to hear some more negative stuff. Sorry about that, bro.) Either way, I feel like I have found some people that I can really be encouraged to be friends with (and I will continue to pursue those other friendships as well.)
So, two weeks ago at our men's midweek service, Jay had us get into random groups and discuss 1 Thessalonians 3, and the charge was to find out what we can pray for each other about. Now, I have to be honest, I really didn't follow through praying for the others in my group (just didn't feel like I had the ability to add another thing on right now. Sorry). But I do know that others had been praying for me specifically for relationships in Seattle. I definitely feel like this is an answer to all those prayers, but continued prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated!
If you would like to watch that Ted Talk, here it is. It's about 13 minutes long, but well worth it. At the conference, they started the video at about the 8 minute mark, and that is where the great quotes began.
http://www.ted.com/talks/sebastian_junger_why_veterans_miss_war
Here are a couple more quotes from the Ted Talk that I find especially inspirational: "Friendship happens in society" where it really doesn't matter how you feel about other people. "Brotherhood has nothing to do with how you feel about the other person. It's a mutual agreement... where you put the welfare and safety of the group above your own. In effect, you're saying 'I love these other people more than I love myself.'"
Even though we are not at war, we are fighting a battle for our own souls. Every day, we have to decide to do the right thing or not. Sometimes we do the right thing, but nobody ever does it perfectly every time. I feel most days, especially recently, that I mess up more than most. Either way, I know I need God. He's made that abundantly clear to me in the past few months. I need you, and you need me if we call ourselves Christians.
So let's work together to build one another up, let's give each other the benefit of the doubt and then take steps to work harder together to help each other get to heaven. Colossians 1:28-29 - We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me."
So I think that's it for today, thanks for listening to me rant. Have a great day!
Working Through New Challenges
Man, it has been such a whirlwind lately. So much has happened and I finally feel like things are starting to move slowly in the right direction (still?).... Anyway, I wanted to update everyone what's going on in my life. The past month and a half has been incredibly challenging for me. I'll try not to complain, but I have felt challenged in so many new areas of my life, it's been challenging and discouraging. Sigh.
So, here's the story. I mentioned a while back that I fell on June 20th. At first I was super embarrassed and tried to just "shake it off". Unfortunately, that has not been possible. Within a short period of time after my fall, I began to get really bad headaches. They covered the entire top of my head and they weren't migraines, but despite that, they were very unpleasant. I never get headaches and these were pretty debilitating.
I also started to get dizziness. About a week after the fall, I went to the emergency room and they did everything from urine test to CT scans and everything seemed fairly normal. One of the side effects of this injury is that I cannot do anything that is strenuous. No lifting heavy objects, no running, no going to the gym and I am only allowed to walk short distances, starting at only 15 minutes at a time, and even that was sometimes too much as I would get very dizzy.
This has been extremely challenging for me because even though I'm not in great shape, I am still pretty active and now that I have a gym membership, I can't even use it. When I come home from work I haven't been able do very much. I feel like I'm a slave to this and there's nothing I can do about it. I have gained weight over the past few months and I can't do anything to be active. It's kind of driving me crazy.
My physical therapist told me it's not uncommon for people to get this kind of dizziness after a fall if their neck muscles tighten up, because if it's really bad, those muscles can actually cut off circulation to the brain. After I felt like I was making progress this was just devastating for me. I feel like I'm taking one step forward, two steps back.
I am super grateful to have insurance covering this injury, but it definitely has added more to my schedule. Oh well, hopefully I will be past this situation soon. Please pray for my back and neck muscles to loosen up!
Also, things at work seem to be getting better. I'm grateful for my manager, I feel like he's really concerned about his employees and that makes such a huge difference for me. Like I said, the wheels do seem to be moving slowly, but at least they are moving.
Yesterday, I had a massage appointment with the same physical therapy practice I've been going to, but a different person doing it. She worked the knots out very intensely, by far the most intense since I started a few weeks back and this is good. I've been asking to do whatever is necessary to make me feel better, get rid of these headaches and get back to normal. Well, she did a great job and to the point that I was physically ill today as a result of all those toxins being released into my blood stream. I'm grateful I had the day off today, it would have been tough to work today through all that.
When I woke up this morning, I was so sore from the massage yesterday, that I immediately called the physical therapist to cancel my appointment for this afternoon. I would not have been able to make it through that....
So, I would like to ask for prayers again for my dad. He's back in the hospital with complications from his double lung transplant from about 9 months ago. I haven't seen him or my stepmother since they went to the airport with me April of last year when I left for Germany. I would like to go visit them, but can't afford it nor do I have time to take off from work. Please pray for God to make it possible for me to be able to go visit them for a few days in Arizona.
Well, that's about it for now. I just wanted to let you know what's been going on with me. I haven't been posting much lately simply due to my circumstances, current health issues, etc. Thank you all for all your prayers and support. I would love to thank each one of you personally one day.
Until then, love those around you. Not just your family, but everyone that is a part of your life. The world needs more people to give of themselves. Have a good night!
So, here's the story. I mentioned a while back that I fell on June 20th. At first I was super embarrassed and tried to just "shake it off". Unfortunately, that has not been possible. Within a short period of time after my fall, I began to get really bad headaches. They covered the entire top of my head and they weren't migraines, but despite that, they were very unpleasant. I never get headaches and these were pretty debilitating.
I also started to get dizziness. About a week after the fall, I went to the emergency room and they did everything from urine test to CT scans and everything seemed fairly normal. One of the side effects of this injury is that I cannot do anything that is strenuous. No lifting heavy objects, no running, no going to the gym and I am only allowed to walk short distances, starting at only 15 minutes at a time, and even that was sometimes too much as I would get very dizzy.
This has been extremely challenging for me because even though I'm not in great shape, I am still pretty active and now that I have a gym membership, I can't even use it. When I come home from work I haven't been able do very much. I feel like I'm a slave to this and there's nothing I can do about it. I have gained weight over the past few months and I can't do anything to be active. It's kind of driving me crazy.
My physical therapist told me it's not uncommon for people to get this kind of dizziness after a fall if their neck muscles tighten up, because if it's really bad, those muscles can actually cut off circulation to the brain. After I felt like I was making progress this was just devastating for me. I feel like I'm taking one step forward, two steps back.
I am super grateful to have insurance covering this injury, but it definitely has added more to my schedule. Oh well, hopefully I will be past this situation soon. Please pray for my back and neck muscles to loosen up!
Also, things at work seem to be getting better. I'm grateful for my manager, I feel like he's really concerned about his employees and that makes such a huge difference for me. Like I said, the wheels do seem to be moving slowly, but at least they are moving.
Yesterday, I had a massage appointment with the same physical therapy practice I've been going to, but a different person doing it. She worked the knots out very intensely, by far the most intense since I started a few weeks back and this is good. I've been asking to do whatever is necessary to make me feel better, get rid of these headaches and get back to normal. Well, she did a great job and to the point that I was physically ill today as a result of all those toxins being released into my blood stream. I'm grateful I had the day off today, it would have been tough to work today through all that.
When I woke up this morning, I was so sore from the massage yesterday, that I immediately called the physical therapist to cancel my appointment for this afternoon. I would not have been able to make it through that....
So, I would like to ask for prayers again for my dad. He's back in the hospital with complications from his double lung transplant from about 9 months ago. I haven't seen him or my stepmother since they went to the airport with me April of last year when I left for Germany. I would like to go visit them, but can't afford it nor do I have time to take off from work. Please pray for God to make it possible for me to be able to go visit them for a few days in Arizona.
Well, that's about it for now. I just wanted to let you know what's been going on with me. I haven't been posting much lately simply due to my circumstances, current health issues, etc. Thank you all for all your prayers and support. I would love to thank each one of you personally one day.
Until then, love those around you. Not just your family, but everyone that is a part of your life. The world needs more people to give of themselves. Have a good night!
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