Groundhog Day

I know it's not Feb. 2nd, I'm actually referring to the movie.  You know the one, where Bill Murray re-lives the same day over and over (ad nauseum), trying everything in his power to jump start whatever he needs to, in order to end the repetition and finally move on to Feb. 3rd.

Well, I feel like I'm having a similar experience.  Not long after arriving at work today, my coworker informs me that tomorrow is her last day.  I'm happy for her, that she found a new, better-paying job, but now we're almost back to where we started before.  Ugh. I'm so exasperated by this job, I feel so done.  I don't sincerely know how much more of this I can stand.

I am grateful for the job and I actually really like it, but it's severely underpaid for it's impact on customer satisfaction at the hotel.  The reason people are leaving is because people can't live on that wage.  Unfortunately I'm also in that boat.

I guess I will have to start looking for another job as well.  With the crazy and inconsistent hours (although I do regularly work 40 hours per week), I miss a lot of things.  I'm really trying to be grateful, and most days the job is just fine, but I'm just tired.

The reason I thought of Groundhog Day was that Bill Murray's character was kind of screw-up and finally began to realize he needs to change.  Once he started to make those changes (and did things "right") that is when the day finally advanced.  I think God is having me in this situation so that I will fall to my knees more often, instead of just gritting my teeth and powering through. I clearly haven't learned my lesson yet.  At least that's what I hope the lesson is here.

I wonder if my being able to return to Germany is somehow tied to my making these changes.  I don't think anyone knows for sure, except God himself, but I sure am having to go through the same stuff, and my reaction has been the same every time these challenges come up, so I think I need to give it a shot.... Seeing as how this is my dream and I'm willing to do anything to make that dream come true, it's certainly worth that shot!

This feels like hard work.  Maybe it's not and I'm just over-thinking it.  I'll need to sleep on it.  Either way, I'm tired because it's very late and I have to be at church early in the morning.  Night all!