Climbing Out of the Pit

Well I felt much better yesterday after my really bad day on Tuesday.  My job is just killing me at the moment and I simply could not stand it any longer.  My job is so stressful and busy and it has just sucked the life and joy out of me. Yesterday went much better, but today I nearly quit.  I'm so grateful for my manager.  We had a very open and honest conversation and he gave me hope that they are, in fact, hiring.  He said he hopes to have 5 people in my unit hopefully within the next month or so.  He also said that he sees that I am very competent in my duties.  I still have room for improvement, but am at least competent and he sees that I am trying very hard.

As I was leaving tonight, I ran into one of the other managers, and he asked me how I was doing.  I told him that I'm just trying to make it.  He told me that he doesn't know how I do it.  Finally, someone sees the amount of work I do, and a little confirmation that it really is too much for one person to handle all byhimself. When he said that I was already pretty raw from my conversation with my manager and I nearly broke down in tears as I got in the elevator.

Another day tomorrow and I just need to continue to push through. One day at a time, one minute at a time. This is extremely challenging for me, I don't know how I'm going  to make this another few weeks by myself.  I'm still not even fully trained in my job, but almost.  Please, please, please pray for me to make it.  I'm noticing how I'm struggling with being constantly frustrated and unhappy.  This needs to change soon, for my own sanity.

Finally tonight, I would like to thank everyone for their kind comments and love, they really made a difference for me to feel understood and loved by you.  Unfortunately there was one person that responded in a negative way and it was with that specific person in mind that I asked for people not to try to fix me. I meant it, and now I have to deal with the fact that one person refuses to respect my boundaries. Just what I need on top of all my other challenges right now....   Ugh.

I'll make it through this time, but I would really appreciate your prayers and good thoughts.  I need all the help I can get right now.  Thanks for all your support!