Hello again from the great HOT north! I love me some nice summer weather, but it's just too hot here right now. I'm writing you from Connections Library, with fan to my left and a small view out the window, where it's now about 96 degrees F. I thought it didn't get that hot here... Well, actually, that's not completely true, because when I moved to Berlin on Aug. 2, 1992, it was 102 degrees in Berlin... At that time, it was the hottest temperature I had ever experienced. I thought it was a fluke, and it probably was, but I was a lot thinner back then. Even with that it was unbearably hot.
I get on the S-Bahn (surface trains) and they are not air-conditioned. They do have small windows at the top that you can tilt open. With this kind of heat, they help, but not much, especially when you have a train full of people. The subway trains are much better because it's generally much cooler underground, so I've been trying to use those more than the surface trains. Buses are okay, they are technically air-conditioned, but it's not like the buses back in the states, it's still pretty uncomfortable. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to some cooler weather the next couple days so I can start feeling human again.
So yesterday, President Obama was in town and gave a speech at the Brandenburg Gate. I was going to see if I could go watch him give his address, but apparently it's in a very restricted area and was by invitation only. Probably just as well, I certainly didn't want to go sit out in the hot sun for a couple of hours in 90+ degree heat anyway...
June 26 marks the 50th anniversary of JFK's speech in Berlin (the speech was NOT given at the Brandenburg Gate, however) where he uttered that very famous line "Ich bin ein Berliner", essentially calling himself a jelly-filled donut. LOL, it was an endearing comment that the populous still enjoy to this day. On June 12, 1987, almost 26 years ago to the day, Ronald Reagan made his famous speech at the Brandenburg Gate, saying "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" Which was also incredibly powerful and controversial at the time. Now, it's become an iconic statement that will forever be one of the first dominoes to fall to end not only the division of this incredible city, but of the Cold War itself. Very weighty stuff!
On that very subject, in the Connections library where I now sit, I happened to see a book called "Tear Down This Wall" written by Romesh Ratnesar. I've seen it occasionally and thought, I should read it. I decided yesterday it was time to stop thinking about it and actually do it. Now, I'm not much of a reader. I do read my Bible and spiritual books, but it's a pretty rare occasion that I pick up a book for fun. More aptly, I should say I pick up a book if I'm having trouble sleeping. In any case, I started reading it but didn't get too far as one of the patrons of the library wanted to be chatty. No biggie, but I will be doing some reading after posting this entry.
I'm very interested in this particular time in history as I visited Berlin about 10 months prior to Ronald Reagan delivering this speech. I got to see how totally different East Berlin was from the West. It was heartbreaking to see so many people, in effect, imprisoned socially and politically in their own city. When the wall fell 2 years and a few months after this speech, I remember sitting in my dorm room in Munich crying as I watched live pictures of men and women taking pickaxes to the wall and watching thousands of East Berliners pass through the gaps. One of the greatest days in modern history in my opinion!
So tonight, I'm going to watch the speech on youtube and pick up the book to learn more about the time and people that made this very controversial speech possible. I'll let you know if it's worth a read. I can't imagine that I wouldn't like it, but I'll update you either way. This time in history for some reason is very close to my heart. I'm not 100% sure why, but I tear up every time I hear about it. Better get some Kleen-Ex handy before I start to watch!
For the last few days, I've really been feeling the weight of my current situation. I have less than 3 weeks before I will have to return to the US if I don't have work. Money is pretty much gone and I'm really in God's hands. I've been struggling a lot with that, I have to be honest. I've never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. Part of my dream of coming here, was to trust God to the point where I would REALLY have to rely on him. He's definitely showing me the extent of that decision. It's so hard.
I'm such a control freak that not having much other than just the clothes on my back and a temporary roof over my head is slightly unnerving. I'm trying to fight through all the emotions to try to keep control and to let go of it, but man, it is hard. I'm doing well, and I plan to have many more people in my life the next few weeks so that when I go home to my usually empty apartment, I won't feel quite so lonely and won't struggle with wanting to give in to eating bad things or other ways of just being selfish and self-focused.
Well, as usual, I had a lot more on my heart than I thought. Thanks for looking in on me, hopefully by the end of tonight, or maybe even as I write this, I expect to surpass the landmark 2000 hits on my blog! Thank you all for your support and your prayers. I know they are working to move God's heart in my situation. I love and miss you all, talk to you again soon!
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